Adore Me ~ Kelly Elliott

by Kelly Elliott

I nodded but said nothing. Reaching for her phone, Morgan typed something in and set her phone down on the table.

  “Okay, here are two Mag Scrambles. You kids need anything else?” the waitress asked.

  “No, thank you,” we both said at the same time.

  We sat in silence while we ate. It was the first time things had ever been awkward between us, and it was destroying me. My heart pounded in my chest, and I had the strangest feeling. Almost like I had made a terrible mistake. But which part was the mistake? The part where I led her on like a dick, or the part where I told her nothing could ever happen between us? I set my fork down and was about to ask her to go for a drive. We needed to talk about this. What in the world would ever make her proposition me like that?

  Shit, what if she asked another guy? Someone she didn’t know. I couldn’t let that happen. My head was all over the damn place.

  “I’m going to run to the restroom, if you’ll excuse me.”

  I glanced up at her as she stood. “Sure.”

  I needed a few minutes alone to gather my thoughts. To figure out what in the world was going on in that head of hers.

  She walked off, but instead of going to the restroom, she walked up to the hostess. I frowned when she reached into her purse, took out some money, and then turned to walk out the door.

  What in the hell? She’s leaving?

  Reaching into my wallet, I pulled out two twenty-dollar bills to toss onto the table and quickly made my way through the café.

  When I pushed the door open and got outside, I saw Morgan walking to an Uber.

  “Morgan!” I shouted.

  She didn’t bother to turn around. She opened the back door and got in.

  Running toward the car, I called her name. “Morgan!”

  The car pulled out of the parking lot and across Lake Austin Boulevard.

  “Shit!” I cried out, scrubbing my hands down my face. “Aw, hell. Fuck!”

  “Sir, excuse me, but the young lady paid for your breakfast before she left.”

  The hostess was trying to hand me back my forty dollars. “Tell the waitress to keep it.”

  She smiled and nodded. “Will do. Thank you!”

  Her voice was chipper and full of life. I forced a smile before heading to my car.

  I had no fucking idea what had just happened. None. The only thing I knew was that I had hurt Morgan Barrett, and I hated myself for it.

  “Blake? Earth to Blake?”

  Lifting my gaze from the glass of beer up to Tucker, I said, “Did you say something?”

  He laughed. “Yeah, I said a lot, and you haven’t heard a damn thing. Dude, what is going on with you?”

  With a sigh, I answered. “I don’t know. I haven’t really slept well the last few nights.”

  He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Everything, maybe? I’m hating my job. I can’t seem to make my father happy. My sex life has been dead for the last few months. Fuck, I’m even thinking of getting a dog to keep me company.”

  Tucker stared at me with a look of disbelief on his face. “A dog?”

  Looking back at Tucker, I nodded. “I know. And that isn’t the worst.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Yeah. Can we head back to your office?”

  “Sure. Let me let Lou know. I’ll meet you in there.”

  I watched as Tucker walked over and let his manager know he was stepping away. Tucker had been an old friend from college who had finally followed his dream almost two years ago and opened up one of the hottest bars in Austin. Sedotto. His wife, Charlie, was the CEO of her family’s billion-dollar consulting company. We’d all gone to the University of Texas together, and Tucker and Charlie had a weird relationship back then. After spending one weekend together, they’d spent the next seven years hating each other. Made it a little awkward for our group at first, but we all got used to it fast enough. Luckily, they got their heads out of their asses and got back together and married.

  Five minutes later, Tucker walked into his office to find me pacing back and forth.

  “You look like you’re trying to solve world peace. What is so heavy on your mind?”

  I stopped walking and faced him. I knew no other way to say what had happened with Morgan to not make it sound so bad, so I blurted it out.

  “Morgan asked me to have sex with her, no strings attached, for one night only.”

  Tucker laughed. “Morgan? Morgan Barrett?”

  When I nodded, he laughed more and made his way over to his desk.

  “Tucker, I’m being serious. You know the bar I go to every year?”

  He nodded, his smile fading. Tucker and Nash were the only two people I had ever told what had happened to me that night.

  “It’s called Butch’s Place.”

  He shrugged. “You never mentioned the name. I’ve never heard of it.”

  “You wouldn’t. It’s an old bar, and the guy who owns it is a Marine. His son killed himself around the same time my mom passed. His son was Mike. Morgan’s Mike.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, she was there because—”

  “The anniversary of Mike’s death.”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s been six years. You think she’s still . . . grieving over him?”

  It felt like something knocked all the air out of me. The idea of Morgan still that in love with Mike made me feel . . . sick. How fucked up was that?

  “I don’t know. She said something about feeling guilty. Did you know he told her in his suicide note that he’d been cheating on her?”

  Tucker’s eyes went wide. “No way.”

  “Yeah. She was saying something about not being able to keep him happy, not being able to see him hurting. I don’t know. I don’t know why she was there last night, but she was. And she was drunk as hell.”

  Slowly sitting down in the chair, I looked away, trying not to remember the look of pain in her eyes.

  “Okay, let’s start from the beginning.”

  Sighing, I stood again. If felt like I was about to crawl out of my own damn skin. “I stopped by Butch’s Place to be alone and drink. I needed to get shit-faced, and that’s where I always go. Morgan was there, and she was two sheets to the wind. I told Butch I’d take her home.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. Tucker also knew my other dirty little secret. That the painful memories of my mother’s death weren’t the only reason I’d left Texas. Every damn time I saw Morgan it felt like it killed me a little bit more.

  I held up my hands. “Now hold on. I didn’t make a move on her. I got her home, got her to her bed, and left Advil and water on her nightstand. I took her house key so I could lock up the door, and I left her a note saying I had it. She called me, and we agreed to have breakfast. Dude, you know I would never do it. When I came back to town, I promised myself that even though Morgan was single, I wouldn’t do it to Nash.”

  “You’ve clearly never noticed the way Morgan looks at you, Blake.”

  I paused and turned to him. “What?”

  He shook his head. “Keep going with the story.”

  “Right. Well she called, we agreed to have breakfast, and I went to her house to pick her up. We eye fucked the hell out of each other for a good minute before we moved on and went to breakfast.”

  “Okay. Are you attracted to her still?” Tucker said, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest.

  I let out a gruff laugh. “I’ve never not been, Tucker. She’s beautiful, has a rocking body, but . . .”

  “She’s Nash’s baby sister.”

  Rolling my eyes, I replied, “His sister. Can we say that without making it sound like something sinister?”

  His brow lifted. “His little sister. The little sister he is protective of. The sister he would not be happy knowing you’ve been pining over all these years.”

  “I haven’t been pining over her.”

  “No, you’ve been putting on a good show an
d making everyone think you sleep around. Even I was fooled until you admitted your feelings about Morgan to me a few months ago.”

  “I needed to talk to someone.”

  He smiled. “Dude, I’m glad you talked to me. If you would just talk to Nash, I know he would understand.”

  “And break the unspoken rule?”

  He sighed. “Nash broke the rule with my sister.”

  Nash had fallen for Tucker’s younger sister Lily and had been secretly dating her for a few years before she had admitted to having an affair. It shook Nash hard, and it took him a while to get over her. Kaelynn coming into his life had helped things along in that department, no doubt.

  “Anyway, so we’re sitting there, and she all of sudden busts out and says she wants one night of no-strings sex. A lot of sex, because she hasn’t had sex in a long time. Then the next morning I can go on my way and we can be friends again.”

  Tucker stared at me. An incredulous look on his face. Finally, he spoke. “Morgan? Morgan said that to you? Was she still drunk?”

  I tossed my hands up in the air. “Dude! I asked her the same thing! Then I thought she was screwing around, so I flirted with her a little. When I realized she was serious and my flirting was going too far, I told her it could never happen. There was no way it would happen.”

  “I’m glad you think a one-night stand is the wrong thing to do.”

  “Yeah, well, she took it like I wasn’t attracted to her, and she said some bullshit about me not going for a woman like her. She was already about to cry, and then I might have mentioned that she’d been pining over Mike the night before. That didn’t go over well.”

  “I imagined it didn’t. What did she mean about you not going for a woman like her?”

  I shrugged. “Hell if I know. I tried to explain it wasn’t about me not being attracted to her, but she wouldn’t let me. She told me to forget she’d even brought it up. Next thing I knew she said she was going to the restroom, and she walked out the front door and got in an Uber.”

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah. Shit. Now I don’t know what in the hell to do. Do I call her? Do I go over to her place to try to explain why us hooking up would be terrible? Tucker, what do I do?”

  He sat there, contemplating his answer. “You have two options. One, do like she said and forget she ever said anything.”

  “And the attraction?”

  “Ignore it. Hope it goes away.”

  I dropped back in the chair. “That’s never going to happen. Especially now that I know she’s attracted to me too.”

  Tucker smirked and leaned forward. “Dude, it’s fucking time you admitted the truth—not only to yourself, but to Morgan and Nash too.”

  “And what if I end up losing them both?”

  “She’s got to be worth the risk, Blake. I mean, a guy doesn’t leave town because he simply has the hots for his buddy’s sister.”

  I looked away, knowing exactly what was coming.

  “Blake, it’s time you faced the truth: you want Morgan.”

  I shot him a dirty look. “No kidding, asshole. What is option two?”

  He shrugged and replied, “Tell Nash you’re attracted to Morgan.”

  Closing my eyes, I dropped back down into the chair and whispered, “I am so fucked.”

  March

  TWO WEEKS HAD passed since the dreaded moment I asked Blake to have no-strings sex with me. Kaelynn was sitting across from me in the booth, talking about her morning sickness while we waited for Nash to join us for dinner. I was excited for her and my brother, but if I was being honest with myself, I was also jealous. Kaelynn had found her happily ever after, and I seemed to be stuck in the past. Why was it that I could help other people move on when I refused to follow my own words?

  I smiled, but she must have seen it was forced. She took my hand in hers.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  “Yes! My patients were exhausting this week. I’m just emotionally drained.”

  She must’ve seen right through my lie, because she didn’t let go of my hand. “Are you still thinking about Mike?”

  I squeezed her hand. “Sometimes. It’s always hard around this time of year.”

  She took in a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “Have you thought about going on a date?”

  With a halfhearted laugh, I shook my head. Little did she know. I imagined my best friend would be shocked to find out I had asked Blake to sleep with me. Casual sex with no strings attached. What had I even been thinking? Would I honestly have been able to sleep with him and walk away? After the way I had felt with him that day, I was even more confused than ever.

  “I’ve been on dates,” I said defensively.

  She frowned. “Maybe you need to . . . you know. Have some no-strings, fun sex with someone.”

  My eyes jerked up to her, and I almost confessed.

  Her mouth dropped open. “Oh my gosh, have you? Had no-strings-attached, hot sex with a guy you met at the grocery store aisle as you both looked at what type of cereal to eat?”

  I stared at her. “What?”

  “Sorry.” Kaelynn shrugged. “It was in a romance book I read the other night.”

  Rolling my eyes, I laughed. I would be mortified if she knew the irony of what she had suggested, and I could feel the heat building on my cheeks.

  “Oh my gosh, Morgan, have you? Have you had fun sexy time?”

  “No, I wish.”

  Kaelynn’s body sagged. “Well, darn, I thought maybe you had, the way you blushed.”

  I buried my face into my hands and groaned before I dropped them and looked at my best friend. “God, I’m so embarrassed. Kaelynn, I asked a guy for no strings sex, and he turned me down.”

  Her eyes widened in shock. “You asked a guy for casual sex?”

  I nodded.

  “And he turned you down? Is he gay?”

  With a chuckle, I replied, “Nope. He’s very much straight, but I guess I’m not his type.”

  She pulled her brows in tight. “Who is it?”

  “No one who matters.”

  Reaching for my hand, she gave it a light squeeze. “Screw him, then. Morgan, you’re a beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman. Any man should want to give his left nut to spend a night with you.”

  I stared at her for a few moments before we both dissolved into laughter.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Glancing up, I saw my brother, Nash. He leaned down and kissed Kaelynn sweetly before sliding into the booth next to her.

  “Nothing. Girl talk,” I replied.

  “Staying clear of that,” Nash stated.

  “How was your day?” Kaelynn asked.

  He smiled, and the way they looked at each other had me glancing away for a moment.

  My eyes caught a guy sitting at the counter. He must have sensed me looking at him, because he looked up. He smiled, so I smiled. He was cute. Looked like he had a nice body. I couldn’t see a ring on his finger. I wonder if he would turn me down, too, if I asked him to take me in the bathroom stall of this restaurant. Maybe I could squeeze my eyes shut tight and pretend he was Blake.

  Blake. Ugh. Get out of my head!

  I groaned internally. What in the world was wrong with me?

  “Hellish. Dad is giving me shit about a project. Then I had to deal with Blake.”

  My head snapped to the left, and I looked at Nash. “Blake? What about him?”

  He shrugged, and Kaelynn gave me a suspicious look. I ignored her and focused on my brother.

  “I have no damn clue. He’s been acting weird the last couple of weeks. He stopped by work a few days ago and said he needed to talk.”

  Holding my breath, I tried to calm my heart beat. He wouldn’t dare tell Nash about my proposition.

  “About what?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

  “No clue. He was talking in circles and not making any sense. He’s been in a hell of a bad mood too. Today he nearly bit off the waitress’s head for bringing
him the wrong drink. I think he’s in a slump.”

  “A slump?” Kaelynn and I asked together.

  “Yeah, no sex. He’s been working long hours, and I know he hasn’t been going out like he used to.”

  “Maybe he’s just settling down,” Kaelynn said, glancing to me with a raised brow. How in the hell was she putting this together? It had to be the pregnancy hormones sharpening her intuition.

  I adverted my eyes.

  Nash sighed. “I have no idea. Something is going on with him, though. He mentioned something about going out tonight. Let’s hope his dry spell ends.”

  A pain shot right through the middle of my chest, nearly taking my breath away. Clearing my throat, I stood. “I remembered I have to write up notes on my two patients today. I’ll catch up with y’all later.”

  They both stood for hugs. Nash pulled me in first, placing his mouth near my ear and asking in a low voice, “Are you okay?”

  Drawing back, I looked him in the eyes. It had always been hard hiding things from my brother. With him, I seemed to always wear my emotions on my sleeve.

  “Yes. Just a rough time of year.”

  He kissed my cheek. “I love you, sis.”

  My heart suddenly felt full. “I love you more, Nash.”

  Kaelynn took her turn, wrapping me in a tight hug and whispering, “Is something going on with you and Blake?”

  I laughed and drew back. “You’re crazy. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Bye, Morgan. Call me, please,” Kaelynn said as she waved.

  Hurrying away, I replied over my shoulder, “I will!”

  The faster I got home and into my pajamas with a bowl of ice cream, the faster this day would be over.

  But instead of going home, I found myself at Butch’s Place. This was new for me, and I expected Butch to question why I was there. He didn’t. He simply hugged me when I walked in and placed a beer and a shot in front of me. This time I wouldn’t let myself get shit-faced.

  “You want to talk about it?” Butch asked.

  “Not really.”

  He nodded.

  “You know he would want you to move on, Morgan. He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

  “I have moved on, Butch. I dated Rich for a while.”

  Butch laughed. “Okay, if that’s what you want to call it.”