by Liz Botts
Since the theme was the eighties’ we had agreed to go with an homage to John Hughes movies. Rummaging through Lauren’s closet, I had managed to put together a decent outfit, but Jake had it spot on. I wanted to tell him that, but once again the words jumbled in my mouth.
“You look great,” he said, with an easy smile I didn’t recognize.
“You too.” My words sounded raspy, which embarrassed me.
“We’re going to take my dad’s car if that’s okay.” Jake dangled the keys in front of me, and I couldn’t help but gasp. Jake’s dad’s car was his prized possession. He kept it under a thick canvas sheet in the garage. No one else was ever allowed near it. In all the years we had been neighbors I had only seen the car driven a handful of times. Needless to say I had always dreamed of riding in it. That’s how off limits things always were for me, I supposed.
“He said it was a special night. I tried telling him that we were only going to another fake prom, but he insisted.” Jake opened the passenger door so I could climb in. My suede skirt hit mid-calf, and was slightly tight, making it hard to maneuver. As I sank down onto the leather seats, I decided that the car fulfilled every dream I’d ever had about it. Jake slid in behind the steering wheel, and started the car.
“Ready to do this?”
I laughed. “We’re going to get good at this prom thing before we even get to ours.”
Jake laughed along with me. “You’ll make it great.”
His compliment made me blush, and I looked out the car’s window. He sounded different to me. Not the actual tone or timber of his voice, but the emotion behind his words. Part of me thought that I was imagining it, but we’d been friends long enough that I still knew how to detect changes in him. I just couldn’t figure out how it made me feel.
“I hope Mary Beth will like what we’re doing,” I said, then almost gagged on the words.
Jake shot me a sideways glance. “Are you feeling okay there, Al? You do know what you just said, right?”
“Shut up.” I smacked his shoulder slightly harder than I intended. He grimaced slightly, but shot me a sly grin that I did recognize.
“I’m sure Mary Beth will be thrilled with the hoe down theme you proposed.”
“I did not! If you tell her that she’s likely to hunt me down and force me to watch every prom related movie ever made.”
“I might make you do that anyway. You know, to inspire you.” Jake pulled into the parking lot of Kelly Hills High. “It’d be like the old days.”
The sentimental tone in his voice belied the sarcastic comment, and made me squirm. I almost felt guilty for ragging on Mary Beth. “I’m sorry for being so, you know, about your girlfriend.”
“Mary Beth? Naw, she’s not my girlfriend.” Jake swung the car into an empty parking space.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I bet she doesn’t feel the same way.”
“We’re just hanging out. We’ve had that conversation, and we’re both cool.” Jake unclipped his seat belt, and turned toward me. “What about you and that…guy?”
I sighed. “I don’t know what Rory and I are, but I doubt he thinks of me as his girlfriend.”
“Then he’s an idiot,” Jake said in a husky voice. My eyes widened, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. “Look, you know what I think of the guy, so let’s not go down that road. I’m just glad we’re hanging out again.”
“Me too.” I stretched out my hand to touch his, but hesitated a moment too long, and let it drop back to my lap. “Jake…I know I’ve been a lousy friend these last few months, and—“
“Don’t,” Jake said. “You’ve never been a lousy friend.”
I wanted to ask him how he could say that when all evidence pointed to the contrary, but I accepted his grace instead. That was one of the many qualities I loved about Jake. The depth of my feelings for my best friend surprised me, and I wondered how I had never noticed them before. I didn’t have a chance to dwell on this newfound thought, though, because Jake stepped out of the car.
When we walked into the lobby of Kelly Hills High, I was shocked to see how…nice the school looked. The floors gleamed like they had been freshly polished, and there was no security desk, just a little table with an empty clipboard. I glanced up at Jake, and I could tell from the slightly widened eyes that he felt the same way. Luckily there was no one around as we made our way to the gym.
A set of doors stood propped open, and the flashing of a strobe light accompanied the thumping of bass from the music. Jake and I slipped inside, and we stood along the wall taking in the scene. The school had done a decent job of turning a sweat infused space into a time machine back to the nineteen-eighties. Granted the number of clichés in the room made me want to vomit, but still.
“The giant Rubik’s Cubes on the tables are a nice touch, huh?” Jake muttered, his breath hot in my ear. My pulse quickened at the sarcasm in his voice. What was wrong with me? “Let’s go find a place to observe the action.”
Jake pressed his hand against the small of my back as he guided me through the tables until we came to one at the edge of the dance floor. Most of the attendees seemed to be gyrating to the music that was definitely not from the time period they were supposedly portraying.
“This music doesn’t work,” I half yelled to Jake. He’d folded his tall frame into one of the chairs, and he had to lean forward to hear me. Instinctively I moved toward him, too, and our heads bumped. The laugh that broke from me put me at ease, and a moment later Jake chuckled too.
He scooted his chair closer so we could talk without shouting. I found the new phase of our friendship disconcerting on so many levels, the most distressing was the fact that I thought I might be developing a little crush on Jake. But that was absurd because it was Jake. I’d known him since we were just kids, and I’d never thought of him that way before. The mere tease of the idea of a crush seemed too ridiculous to actually entertain, so I stomped it down to the farthest reaches of my being.
“Hey, I don’t recognize you two.” A blond girl dressed like Madonna stopped in front of us, propping a hand on her hip. The way she swayed made me think she was drunk or at the very least tipsy.
I glanced at Jake. Going to this prom had been my stupid idea, and now we were going to get in trouble because some ditz had gotten smashed and decided to talk too loud. “Uh, are you sure?”
Jake smirked at me. I knew he was thinking that he could have given a better answer, but then why didn’t he? The blond girl pushed her shiny hair over her shoulder, balanced herself by grabbing onto the back of a nearby chair, and narrowed her eyes at us. I raised my eyebrows at her as innocently as I could. At our school crashing the prom would have led to a slap on the wrist, maybe detention, but I had no idea what the punishment would be for crashing another school’s prom.
“Margaret, are you bothering my cousin?”
We all turned toward the sound of a voice that held a hint of laughter. The blond girl, Margaret, took two steps back as she stared at the newcomer. “No. I didn’t know that this was your cousin. You should have her wear a name tag or something.”
“He’s my cousin, and no one wears a name tag at the prom. What are we, in preschool? Go outside for a few minutes, Margaret, or I’ll tell Ms. Simmons that you brought a flask.”
“Thanks,” I said as I watched Margaret thread her way swervingly through the dancers.
“No problem. I recognize you two. You’re Mary Beth’s boyfriend, right? And you’re that girl from the news. It’s cool that you’re here. Mary Beth thought you might show up. She told me to keep an eye out. She’s my cousin, but Margaret won’t remember any of this tomorrow anyway. I’m Cassidy, by the way. Have fun.” With that she flipped her overly teased hair over a shoulder and flounced away.
“Well, that was interesting,” Jake said as we watched her go.
“Did you tell Mary Beth that we were coming?” I felt a vague sense of dismay at the thought of him sharing our plans with her, especially after he had
told me they weren’t dating. It felt like a betrayal. No matter how many times I told myself that I didn’t care who Jake spent his time with, the fact remained that I did care. I really did.
“No. I have no idea how she knew we’d be here. Hey, who cares, right? Let’s dance.” Jake stood up, and held out his hand to me. I blinked up at him, and wondered why he wanted to change the subject so much. With a quick shake of my head I cleared out the suspicious thoughts, and let him help me up.
The DJ began to play an up-tempo number about some guy loving a girl forever, and that everywhere he went and looked there was always something that reminded him of her. I squirmed at the cheesiness and sentimentality of the lyrics. Well, that and the fact that Jake had pulled me close, and I could feel the heat radiating off his body.
“This is pretty much my song,” Jake said, then laughed. I tipped my head back up to look at him, but he was staring across the dance floor, a hazy look in his eyes. My stomach tightened into a knot even as I wondered what he meant by that. I decided to just let it go. There wasn’t any point pushing him to explain things that might drive us farther apart. I couldn’t risk that. If the past few months had taught me anything it was that Jake was more important to me than the path that I had been trundling down these past few months.
“I wish I had a song,” I said. As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt stupid, and laughed at myself. The sound of my voice seemed to jar Jake back to reality. He looked down at me with a question on his face. I just shook my head, and shrugged. What could I say that didn’t get me into a more complicated situation with him?
The music changed to another cheesy song, this one slow. All around us couples slowed down, and began to sway. I had never felt so awkward in all my life. The thing was I had danced with Jake dozens of times. I knew that any choice I made would complicate things further so I closed my eyes, inched closer to Jake, and rested my cheek against his chest.
Chapter Fifteen
The next night I had a date with Rory. He wanted to take me to some bar in the next town over to hear a band. I’d reminded him that I didn’t drink, and I didn’t have a fake ID so I had no idea how I’d get in. Rory had vacillated between annoyed and amused. Finally he’d said, “I’ll pick you up at eight.”
As I stood in front of my mirror inspecting my outfit for the tenth time, Brooke stuck her head around the door frame. “Where are you going tonight?”
I shrugged. “Out with Rory.”
Brooke giggled. “You make it sound like it’s nothing.”
“It kind of is nothing.” As soon as I said the words, I knew they were true. Going out with Rory had lost the sparkle and excitement that it had initially had, especially since I realized that it had driven a wedge between me and Jake.
“What do you mean?” Brooke asked as she entered my room, and settled herself on my bed.
I smoothed my pale pink peasant blouse once more before I turned to her. “Rory’s fun, but…I don’t know. Even though he’s older, he’s kind of immature.”
Brooke raised her eyebrow at me. “So why are you dating him?”
“I don’t know anymore. Ugh. I can’t believe I’m even talking about any of this. Shouldn’t I just be happy that a guy like him wants to go out with me?” I leaned against my desk as I sighed.
“No. If he’s not what you want, why should you care if he wants to go out with you?” Brooke shook her head, and her blond, curly hair flounced around her face. “I know you haven’t dated that many guys, but you’re smart enough to know that’s not how it should work.”
“I should take offense to that,” I said. “But I won’t since you are still merely a child.”
Outside a car horn honked. I grabbed my purse, and shot out of my room with a quick goodbye to my younger sister. I couldn’t dwell on what she’d said, couldn’t look deeper than the surface of this relationship or I knew I’d see all the flaws. Nothing was perfect, but sometimes I needed to cling to the notion that something out there somewhere was. That was my romantic idiot part that I always did my best to hide.
I dashed across the yard to where Rory was parked. He had an impatient look on his face when I slid into the passenger seat. When I had clicked my seat belt into place he leaned across the center console to kiss me. In the past I had felt a thrill shoot through me as he pressed me into my seat, and slipped his tongue into my mouth. It had left me breathless and giddy, with heat flooding my body in unmentionable places. Tonight? I felt claustrophobic as he moved in, and the kiss was slippery and slimy.
Not the best way to start the evening.
“You should have come to the door. My parents really want to meet you.” The snarkiness in my tone made me flinch. I hated nags, and there was no getting around the fact that I sounded like one now.
Rory leaned back into his side, rolled his eyes, and put the car in drive. “The perks of dating a high schooler.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I didn’t like the sarcasm in his tone but refrained from saying anything else.
“Exactly what it sounds like. You’re basically still a child, even though legally you’re an adult. I have to play by rules that I gave up a long time ago.” He paused as he turned onto a busier street. “Plus you’re a tease.”
He mumbled the last part, but I heard him loud and clear. Honestly, it stung. Tears pricked my eyes so I turned to stare out the window as the city flashed by. I wanted to say so many things, to rebuff his claims, to tell him that I’d never meant for him to get the wrong impression. What would it have helped, though? He’d made up his mind about what he wanted from our relationship, and it was not something I was going to give up to him so where did that leave us?
We rode in silence for a stretch of highway, until Rory pulled off at an exit for one of the smaller towns on the outskirts of the city. I knew where he was taking me, and despite our crummy start to the evening, I felt a flash of excitement. Club Lemonade. The establishment served both adults and minors so that everyone could come listen to the bands. And whoa, did they have bands. Several new up and coming groups had started at Club Lemonade, as unlikely as that seemed.
“You didn’t say we were going here,” I said with an undeniable squeal in my voice.
Rory flashed me a grin that reminded me why I had crushed on him in the first place. “I wanted it to be a surprise for our month anniversary.”
His words made me pause. Had we really been dating for only a month? It seemed a lot longer than that. In fact, I could have sworn we’d first gone out in March. That would mean that he had his dates mixed up or he had a different start date for our relationship in mind than I did. I told myself that it didn’t matter. Rory was trying to be sweet so I should appreciate that fact.
“Well, I’m really excited. I’ve never been. How’d you score tickets anyway?”
The smile on Rory’s face approached Cheshire cat proportions. “It pays to work in the news business. You’d be amazed at how many people you can get dirt on when you throw your credentials around.”
There was so much wrong with what he’d said, but I didn’t want to start another fight so I just looked away. I wanted to lecture him about the need for impeccable morals in journalism so that the profession could reassert itself as a noble field. Even in my head it sounded so self-righteous I wanted to smack myself. I didn’t think it would help things with Rory.
We climbed out of the car, and headed toward the bouncer at the entrance. Rory flashed him two tickets, and the velvet rope was lifted aside. I felt…glamorous for lack of a better word. The looks of jealousy on the faces of girls in the waiting crowd weren’t in my imagination. I knew there were people out there who had wondered how a girl like me could end up with a guy like that, and get in to this exclusive club without batting an eye.
To be fair, it was a great question, and I didn’t have the answer.
The air in the club was thick with the smell of sweat and alcohol. A heavy bass shook the tables as we wove our way toward the danc
e floor. I could see instruments set up on the stage, waiting for the band to retrieve them. Rory led me to a booth in a corner near the bar. He gestured me in, and when I took a seat, he leaned over, and yelled, “What can I get you to drink?”
“Lemonade,” I shouted back. The club’s signature drink, of course.
I watched Rory slip away into the crowd. My stomach twisted, and I felt a surge of fear. I laughed it away. These past few weeks my emotions had been coming on strong, with a healthy dose of confusion sweeping in behind. I had no idea how to sort through my feelings, and no idea who to talk to about what was going on in my head, and in my heart.
While I waited for Rory to come back, I concentrated on quelling the panic in my gut. The band came out, and began tuning up their instruments. I tried to focus on the minutiae of their movements. The lead guitarist’s fingers pressed the frets flat, and he cracked a grin at the drummer, a heavily tattooed chick with an amazing cloud of black hair. They really seemed to enjoy what they were doing. Wasn’t that the point of life? To be happy? One thing I knew right at that moment, as if a rock had been thrown at my head, was that I wasn’t happy.
“Here you go,” Rory said, plunking my drink in front of me, and swinging into the booth.
I took a sip, and nearly passed out. “What is in this?” I asked as I coughed and gagged.
“Just a little vodka. Come on, we’re out, just enjoy yourself.” Rory draped his arm along the back of the seat, and it took everything in my power not to shove him away.
He’d obviously never paid any attention to me when I told him about my aunt or why I vehemently refused to drink. Or if he had, he chose not to honor my wishes, which just seemed low. Part of this had to be my fault, too, though because I had noticed that when he drank Rory got mean. It didn’t take much of a leap to realize that he could go down the path my aunt had, even if he never abused alcohol.