Unexpected Oasis

by Cd Hussey

As I look through all the picture of Jim and me, in spite of all the smiles and happy faces, I feel nothing. In fact, as I drift through memories of my marriage, my mind continuously skips to memories of Trey—the dust storm, drinking scotch by the reservoir, the week of amazing days and nights at Merritec…

  Those memories fill me with longing and regret more intense than anything I've ever known. Certainly more intense than whatever I feel looking at the photos of my life with Jim.

  Decision made. I can't be with Jim. I don't have it in me. Not after knowing the true happiness I felt with Trey. I may never find happiness like that again, but I can't pretend with Jim. And I don't want to.

  I sleep surprisingly well.

  Sarah, acting as my moral support army, volunteers to hang out while I break the news to Jim. "Just in case you need backup…" she says.

  We await Jim's arrival in the kitchen with tea and minimal talking, like we're expecting some huge altercation and we're on pins and needles. Jim is the last guy who would ever cause any type of altercation, so it's kinda ridiculous. Still, even though the knock on the door doesn't surprise me, it makes me jump and my heart pause.

  It isn't going to be an easy conversation, no matter how you slice it. I feel strong even if I'm weak. I can do this and I will be fine.

  Sarah gets the door—just to give me a few more minutes to mentally prep.

  "Um, Andrea?" she calls from the other room. There's a weird waver to her voice. What on earth could she be seeing that would make her sound like that? I'm suddenly very nervous. "I think it's for you."

  Of course it's for me.

  With a deep breath I rise, taking a second to wipe my suddenly sweaty palms on my shorts and shake the nerves from my body before entering the living room.

  When instead of Jim's slender body standing on the porch, Trey's massive frame takes up the entire doorway. I stumble, my knees literally buckling.

  Shocked doesn't begin to describe how I feel. I'm well beyond shocked. Astounded, flabbergasted, stunned…? It's hard to come up with the right synonym since my brain has quit working.

  My mouth drops open and I think there are words in there somewhere. They aren't budging though.

  Somehow my knees become strong enough to walk all the way to the door, where Sarah steps aside for me. Once there, I grip the jamb like my life depends on it.

  His smile is tentative. With rapid, rushed hands, he pulls off his sunglasses. I'd nearly forgotten how gorgeous his brown eyes are, and for a brief instant, I'm transported back to a moment of perfection where we're laying on a rock hard mattress in post-coital bliss.

  I swallow to shake off the memory. Trey looks at me expectantly and I'm aware I should say something, but I can't. I can only stand there and stare at him.

  Finally, he clears his throat. "I thought this might be better than a phone call," he says.

  "Um," Sarah mumbles. "I'm going to grab something from the kitchen." She gestures vaguely toward the back of the house, gives Trey a thorough once over, and then gives me an, oh my God, look as she passes.

  I can relate. I'm still completely speechless.

  After a few moments of awkward silence, Trey clears his throat again. Clasping his hands together, he cracks his knuckles. "I realize you must be surprised to see me, but I can't deny I was hoping for a little more 'happy' and less 'holy fuck'…"

  Finally, I find some words but they're the wrong ones. "I just can't believe… How did you know where to find me?"

  His expression goes flat. "It's not difficult if you know where to look."

  "Oh."

  "Look, I know things got heavy at Site J and then the car bombing, and I understand why it might have freaked you out."

  "It wasn't just that." Once again, they are the wrong words.

  "Okay," he says slowly. "What was it then? Why'd you take off? Without telling me. Without saying goodbye."

  It's time for the truth. I suddenly feel incredibly guilty and vulnerable. "I did freak out, but it wasn't just my life I was scared for." I bite my lip. "I'm pregnant."

  "Pregnant?" After he wipes away the surprise, his face curls up into a broad smile. "Andrea, that's wonderful! So, the doctors were wrong?"

  "It seems so."

  His smile slowly drops and I realize he's putting it all together. He takes a step back. "Wait…" He looks at my non-existent belly and then at my face and then back to my stomach, where his gaze lingers. It snaps back up to mine. "It's mine, isn't it?"

  Oh God, I don't know how he's going to take it. Will he think I tricked him into becoming a father? I nod slowly. I know I must look like a deer caught in massive, blinding headlights.

  His expression swiftly moves through several emotions, bewilderment, happiness, and finally settling on anger. "What the hell. Why wouldn't you tell me?"

  "I—"

  "Andrea?"

  Jim stands on the sidewalk, staring at us. I notice his Prius parked out front. I didn't hear it pull up. Sneaky, silent hybrids…

  Trey turns, gives him a once-over and then turns back to me. "Let me guess…Jim." There is no shortage of disgust in his tone.

  "Yes, but—"

  He holds up a hand, effectively cutting me off. "Forget it. I know what's going on. I guess you got what you wanted."

  He heads for the road, not even pausing as he passes a dumfounded Jim, who looks like a little kid next to Trey.

  Jim stares at him and then at me. "Andrea, what is going on?"

  His accusatory tone snaps my brain out of hibernation mode. The physical contrast between them is only slightly less enormous than the contrast in the way they make me feel. Maybe I thought my life had been perfect before Jim betrayed me, but that was only because I hadn't tasted true perfection.

  Jim always found things that were wrong, whereas Trey found things that were right. Jim left me for another woman, Trey traveled half-way around the world to see me. I can't let him walk away. Not now. Not ever.

  "Wait!" I call, leaping from the porch and bounding down the sidewalk.

  "Andrea?"

  I ignore Jim and focus on reaching Trey before he has a chance to drive off in the truck he's about to climb into.

  "Trey, wait!"

  He has one leg in the cab when I reach him. I grasp his arm. "Please. Don't leave. It isn't what you think."

  "How do you figure?"

  "It just isn't. Please. Trust me."

  I see his ribcage expand in a deep sigh. Finally, he turns.

  "I should have told you," I say feebly.

  "Yeah, you should have. I get it though, I'm just the fling."

  "That's what I thought."

  His expression turns dark.

  "I mean, that's how I thought you felt," I quickly explain.

  He snorts. "You didn't give me the chance to feel differently."

  "I didn't think it was something you wanted. I mean, you said you tried living a normal life and hated it. Why would I think that had changed? I was the one who was supposed to be infertile. You didn't ask for this. I was worried you'd feel obligated to 'do the right thing' even if you didn't want to. I didn't want to put you in that position."

  "You could have given me the choice. Instead, you came running back to your ex-husband." He gestures toward Jim standing on the sidewalk behind me.

  "No," I counter firmly. "I didn't come back to him. He's been trying to get back together, but I don't…" I shake my head. "I'm not interested."

  "Then why would you leave? Why wouldn't you give me a chance?"

  "After we returned from Site J, I overheard you talking with D and Two Bit about the…altercation. You sounded so happy. And then when I found out I was pregnant…I just didn't want to take you away from something you loved. I couldn't put you in the position to choose. I want this." I touch my stomach fondly. "I mean, I want you too, but not at the expense of your happiness. And I'll always have part of you. Assuming everything goes okay…"

  His forehead falls against a clenched up fist pressed to th
e open truck door, his expression pained. I wish I knew what he's thinking. Is he happy, sad, apprehensive? And then abruptly he reaches for me, pulling me into his chest and wrapping his arms around me.

  "I'm so sorry I didn't say anything," I murmur into his shirt. "I never dreamed…"

  "That I would want to be with you? That I would be overjoyed to be blessed with such an amazing gift from such an amazing woman?"

  "Something like that."

  He pulls back enough to lift my chin and brings my gaze to his. "Then you'd be wrong." His lips cover mine in a soft, sensual kiss that leaves me with tears in my eyes. "And I hope, in the future, you'll trust me enough to talk to me instead of assuming you know what I want."

  I nod, unable to help the tears spilling from my eyes. Future? We have a future? "What about your job? You said you were miserable in normal civilian life. I can't ask you to give up something you love…"

  "Who says I'm giving up my love." He kisses me again. "I came here ready to be with you, and that was before." His kiss lingers. "Andrea, you make me happy. Happier than any job."

  "Really?"

  "Of course." Taking my hips, he lifts me into the truck cab. "Let's go somewhere more private to discuss."

  "We can go inside," I offer.

  Except Jim is now walking toward the truck. I'd say I'm surprised it took him this long, but I'm not. I'm actually surprised he's confronting the situation at all.

  "I have a hotel room," Trey says, ignoring Jim as he climbs in beside me and closes the truck door. But to my surprise, he rolls down the window when Jim knocks on it. He doesn't turn, doesn't even acknowledge Jim's presence, casually putting his sunglasses on as Jim looks him over and then looks to me.

  "Are you going to explain this?"

  I consider it for about two seconds. "No," I say. "I'm not."

  I see the corner of Trey's mouth lift into a small smile as he puts the truck in reverse.

  "Go home to Courtney," I call through the open window as we begin to pull away. "Maybe she'll take you back."

  ~

  Curled on my side on the most comfortable mattress I've ever laid on, Trey's body wrapped around mine, his bare skin warm and oh so firm, I can't remember being happier. There's an elephant in the room, though. We still haven't discussed, well, anything. On the drive here we talked about Kaihan and Site J and general topics—nothing heavy. And then once at the hotel… Well, here we are, naked and sated.

  His fingers delicately trace the contours of my hip, thigh, and abdomen, settling of the soft curves of my stomach. "Andrea," he murmurs in my ear. "We're having a baby."

  "Hopefully."

  He rises on his elbow to look at me. "What do you mean, hopefully?"

  I roll onto my back. The concerned furrow between his brows is deep and nothing short of sexy.

  "Well, unfortunately, at my age, first pregnancy and all, a miscarriage isn't out of the question."

  "Isn't going to happen," he says with complete conviction.

  "I hope not. But I'm mentally prepared, just in case."

  "Like I said, it isn't going to happen. But if it does, and it won't, but if, we'll just try again. It happened once, it can happen twice. My troops are strong. I have complete confidence in their ability to get the job done."

  His expression and tone are so serious and he says the words so matter-of-factly that I can't help but be convinced. Or smile. While the idea of a miscarriage is terrifying, the notion of trying again is definitely not.

  Still, I have my doubts. How can this be real? How can any of this be real? It's too good to be true. "I didn't think this was something you wanted," I say.

  "I never said I didn't want it. I said I couldn't make it work."

  "What makes this time different?"

  He doesn't hesitate. "You."

  As much as I love that answer, I'm too much of a realist to allow myself to get all warm and fuzzy about it. "Maybe that's true now, but we're still new. What happens when the newness wears off? You said civilian life was too boring for you."

  "I did, but I think I have the answer for that. Assuming…" he levels his gaze on me, "you're willing to relocate."

  "To Afghanistan? No."

  "I was thinking more D.C."

  It takes a minute for the letters to sink in. "Like District of Columbia? Washington D.C., D.C.?"

  "Yeah. I have some connections and a security job waiting for me if I want it. I'm willing to do the long distance thing, but I'd rather you come with me. There's a Hughes & Ralston office in the city. And a job opening if you're willing to transfer…"

  My eyebrows shove together. "You arranged this already? You didn't even know I was pregnant."

  "I told you earlier, I came here to be with you. Not that any man wouldn't gladly travel half way around the world to make love to you, but that's certainly not all that brought me here. So what do you say? You wanna take a chance on this old soldier? Try out a new life with me?"

  It's hard to believe my ears, but I can't deny the sincerity in his eyes. I refuse to stay afraid. My heart doesn't hesitate and neither should I.

  "Yes. Absolutely, yes."

  EPILOGUE

  The creak of the iron gate leading to our small front yard always manages to drop my blood pressure at least fifty points. Like Pavlov's dog, I've been conditioned to associate that noise with the wonder just beyond the brightly painted brick of our two-story row home.

  And once again I'm rewarded. Opening the door reveals Andrea curled up in the recliner, nursing tiny, perfect Jana. Though the baby is tightly swaddled, my wife is uncovered and the crest of her breast makes a beautiful backdrop to a scene that would make any man's heart swell with pride. Mine feels like it wants to burst.

  Andrea was born to do this. A natural mother, she watches Jana with adoring eyes, her fingers gently stroking the child's face.

  When I enter the room, her gaze lifts and a smile lights up her face. Her eyes sparkle with love and happiness—such a contrast to the dull sadness that filled them when I first met her. I saw the hint of the light that was within her first in the barn with Frank. Now I see it every day.

  Any residual stress from the day is forgotten. Though the job I've taken here has been more than adequate, and certainly interesting, it wouldn't matter if I had to flip burgers. This…these girls… my girls, would make any job worthwhile. As long as I get to come home to them, I'd happily do anything.

  I cross the room and kneel before the pair, placing a gentle kiss on Jana's head before threading my fingers in Andrea's silky brown hair and enclosing her perfect lips in mine.

  "Mmm," she murmurs. "How was your day?"

  I don't pull back, resting my forehead against hers. The smell of her skin, the soft suckling of the child between us… I would tear down mountains for these two.

  "Better now," I say. "Everyone survived the day, so I call it a success."

  "Was there ever any doubt?"

  "There always is."

  "Crazy…" she says. "Oh! Dinner's in the oven. Just got a little distracted." She gestures toward Jana. "Can you check…?" She makes a face.

  Jana isn't one to wait quietly when she's hungry. She definitely has her daddy's appetite.

  "Of course." I break away reluctantly and head toward the kitchen. Grabbing a pot holder off the counter, I pull lasagna from the oven. Cheese bubbling and glazed with a rich brown crust, I set it on the counter to cool.

  I wish Andrea would just let me take care of the cooking. Not that I'm much of a cook, but it only requires me popping pre-made dishes in the oven since I insisted on ordering meals from a delivery service—much to her disapproval. But the last few months have been rough on her physically. Bed rest for the final six weeks of pregnancy, an emergency C-Section… She's lucky I didn't hire a full-time cook and cleaning lady. I'm still a little annoyed I let her talk me out of it.

  I return to the living room as she's expertly switching Jana from one breast to the other. In a few short weeks, she has mast
ered the task beautifully, all the while dealing with healing sutures and a body struggling to recover. I haven't heard her utter a single complaint. She's pretty much my hero right now.

  "So, I have news."

  She frowns. "Oh?"

  "Good news." I think. "D is coming to the reception—with his wife and kids in tow." Given their history, I'm not sure Andrea is excited to meet the woman D was so eager to step out on. Perhaps it's because she understands the role D assumed in our reconciliation, how he insisted I hear her out when I felt hurt and betrayed by her abrupt departure, but once again she surprises me.

  "That's great news! I can't wait to meet the woman responsible for the Double D nickname."

  "Perfect. You sure you're going to be up for all this? It's only four weeks away…"

  She dismisses my concern with a wave of her hand. "I'll be fine. Stitches will be out by then. I just hope the doctor gives us the okay for a proper wedding consummation."

  We were married in a small civil ceremony right before she went on bed rest and there was no chance on consummating anything at that time. The postponed wedding reception was her idea, but I'll gladly put it off longer if it means any amount of stress for her. Just like as much as I'd love to be inside her, that too can, and will, wait until she is properly healed.

  "Are you sure you don't want me to arrange anything special with Jennifer?"

  "She's a professional party planner. I trust her."

  "No color/flower/food requests?"

  She shrugs. "No."

  I'm afraid she's simply trying to not be a burden. But I'm more than willing to accommodate any of her needs. I want her to be happy. Actually, I need her to be happy, almost as much as I need to breathe.

  "Andrea, you know anything you want, anything you need…I'll get it for you. You don't have to deal with any of it. Tell me and I'll take care of everything."

  "I think it'll be fun to be surprised."

  "You're sure? There's nothing you want?"

  "Everything I could ever want is right here in this room."

  How does a man respond to that? There is nothing I can say that is worthy except, "I love you."

  "See," she says, her smile brightening the entire planet. "Everything I could ever want."