by Miria Masdan
“Okay, I’ll play your game,” he says. “But I don’t think you’ll be leaving anytime soon.”
I look at him. He’s smiling, and I know exactly what he’s thinking.
“I’m willing to bet Benson will pay a hefty ransom to retrieve you from my clutches.”
“I don’t want to go back to him,” I say. “I’d rather be banished.”
He laughs, “I love that you think you can negotiate with me.”
“I’m not negotiating,” I say.
“What causes a beautiful, well to do lady to turn to a life of crime?” he asks. “Who beat you up, Benson?”
“Yes,” I say.
“I’ll tell you what,” he says, “I’ll let you kill him, and then I will let you leave. But I want the codes, the money, and you are going to stay here with me until I get them.”
“I’m broken,” I say; my voice is quiet. “It won’t be too much longer before they find out about me and then I’m done.”
“So what are you suggesting?” he asks, “you want to join forces with me?”
“No, I just want the last few people that I care about to be safe,” I say, “and if that means I work for you, then so be it.”
“I killed your friend,” he says. “I will kill the rest of them if need be.”
“Then you’ll never get what you want,” I say. “Why do you want the codes?”
“It’s none of your business,” He gets up and walks over to me.
He’s standing right in front of me. I can feel his heat. He is even more handsome up close. His hand slips across my lower back, and he draws me to him. He looks at my eye.
“You won’t want to leave,” he says. He brushes my hair away from my face. “Why would anyone want to harm you?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Quinn
I look at the monitor. Max went home hours ago, and I decided to check out the footage to the room the girl was in. I find the footage of when she was alone with Max.
I lean back and just stare. Her words keep replaying over and over again in my mind: she loves me. Who is she? Why would I have chosen to forget her? Max said I couldn’t stop thinking about her, that it was too painful?
I almost killed her, this woman that loves me. I look at the footage again. I can see the fear in her eyes, but there is something else too. Sorrow, forgiveness; I’m not sure, but it chills me to the core. I decide to go to her apartment. I need to talk to her.
It is 2 o’clock in the morning, and the halls are dark. I stand at her door. I think about knocking, but I know she won’t let me in. I lean my ear to the door and listen. It moves. The door is not latched. Why would she leave her door opened? I pull my gun and slowly push it open.
I step in, and the whole place is dark. I creep through the hall. I stop; something crunches under my feet. I walk into the living area and look around. I head to the bedroom. The bed is made. I go back and check the bathroom and the kitchen. She’s not here. I turn on the kitchen light.
The fridge door is ajar. I walk over and look inside. I see a picture of Mandy and below it is written: Grace, Pam, and Quinn.
I close the door and walk back into the living room. I turn on the light. The room is a mess. The couch is pushed sideways; the table is knocked over, and there are papers everywhere. I look in the hall. There is a glass, water, and blood. My heart sinks.
“What the Hell happened?”
“Emma!” I hear myself speak, but I don’t recognize my voice; it is shaky and full of fear.
I look all over for any clue to where she could be, or what happened to her. I see a notepad on the desk. There is a pen on top of it. I pick it up and look. I can see the imprints of words. I can’t make out all of them, but I can read Dear Quinn.
Then I remember seeing something poking out from under the pillow on the bed, I run in and grab it. I read it, and it explains; about the man, Mandy, how Adam is having an affair, how he hurts her and her plan to fix it. But it is the last part that shatters me; it’s written to me. She tells me that she is sorry, that she loves me, and that she can’t live knowing she is putting me in danger.
I drop the letter.
I can’t think. My mind is infused with pain, fear, and regret. For a moment I don’t know what to do; I can’t move. My heartbeat and breaths are all I can hear, echoing against my skull, in a thundering, explosion of panic.
I call Max. I can’t talk at first. I need to focus. I need to think.
“Quinn?” his voice sounds muffled, under my breathing. “Are you there…Quinn?”
“Something’s happened,” I mutter.
“Where are you?” I can sense fear in his voice.
“Emma.”
“What did you do?” he says. “Where are you?”
“Here…it’s a mess,” I say, “blood. Her place; I’m at her place.”
“Is she okay?” panic replaces the fear in his voice. “I’m on my way.”
“I know I promised to leave her alone,” I say, “but I had to find out.”
“What did you do?” He says. “Is she alive?”
“I don’t know,” I hang up the phone and leave everything for him to find.
My only clue is that she recognized the man at the Galleria from the other night. I head to the club. I have no idea what I will find, but I have to try and stop her.
I slip right in, unnoticed. It’s busy, and they aren’t expecting anyone to try and break in. I head to the lower levels. I don’t know where to look, but I follow a few men to an office area. I’m watching. And then I see her.
She’s with a man. I recognize him immediately; he’s Anthony Benson, and he’s been missing for two years. I graduated with him. Rumors are that his system failed, and he was deprogrammed and sent out into the wastelands.
It all makes sense. She was always the target. She was his way to hurt the family that turned their backs on him. I wait until they turn the corner and then I set off after them. I peer around and am met with the butt end of a rifle. I hit the floor hard, and everything goes black.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Emma
“I have to check you for trackers,” he says.
He places my hand on a receptor. It only takes a moment for him to find the program. He calls for a man to come and take care of it.
“Someone has been keeping an eye on you?” he says, “any ideas?”
“Adam?” I think about it. “No one else cares.”
“I don’t think it’s your fiancé,” the man says. “It’s primitive but very sophisticated. Benson would have had a professional program you.”
Who else? I think about Chris and his friends. He’s saved me twice. He just showed up when I’ve needed him. But I don’t know him. Who could he be working for? I don’t mention them; I need to maintain some of my, secretes. I might need help.
“While we wait for Benson’s answer,” he says, “I have a use for you.”
“What’s your name?” I ask.
He pauses for a moment.
“Getting kind of personal, aren’t you?” he says.
“You know my name,” I say.
He laughs, “Ian Black.”
“Well, Ian,” I sigh. “It’s nice to meet you.”
I leave with him. We’re going topside and then to the North City. He has business there, and he thinks I might come in handy.
He has a car waiting. We go alone. I look out the window as we pass the city limits. I’ve never left the East; I’ve always wanted to leave, but now it seems unreal. It’s dark outside of the city. We go through farmland and empty areas. It takes almost an hour before I see the lights of the North City.
It’s not as big as the East city, but that’s because the East City is the port to the rest of the Federation. All trade and all business are run out of the East.
“The lights of the city are beautiful,” he says. “Don’t let them deceive you. You seem impressionable by appearances.”
“I can take care of myself,” I s
ay.
“Not here,” he says. “You need to stay with me. Where we’re going is dangerous, and I need you in one piece if I’m going to get any money from Benson.”
“What are we doing?” I ask. “I don’t know how I can possibly help you.”
“I need you as a decoy, a distraction.” He says. “If you listen to me, you’ll be okay. We’re meeting Dante Rizzio.”
“Really,” I laugh.
“Again, don’t let the name fool you,” he says sternly. “He’s a dealer.”
“Of what,” I ask?
“Anything, anyone needs,” he says. “He finds it and delivers it for a fee and he is loaded.”
“Money means little in the Federation,” I say.
“He doesn’t just deal with the Federation,” he says. “He deals with the Unders, Rebels, and every country around. He’s from Canada, but he travels around and right now he’s here, and I need him.”
“So what is my part?”
“You just need to look pretty,” he smiles at me. “I’ll do the rest.”
“You can see, right?” I say. “I’m a mess.”
“What, your face?” he says. “That’s nothing. We can fix you up.”
We arrive at a large building with lights and a lot of vehicles. It’s similar to the Galleria, but everyone is dressed in formal wear. We pull up and stop underneath a large covered area and in front of a wall of glass. There’s a set of massive doors, and a man is holding one of them open and greeting people as they arrive.
“Are we at a hotel,” I ask?
“I take it; you don’t get out much?” he laughs. “This is the Grand Chester, one of the oldest hotels in Eleven.”
“It’s amazing,” I say.
He helps me out of the car and takes my hand as we walk into the massive lobby. We stand in line. He pulls me tight against him, as a man walks past.
“You are my wife,” he says. “We are celebrating my birthday. I uploaded all the information you need when we de-bugged you.”
“Great,” I think. If only he knew how messed up my system is and how difficult it is for me to access my files. I just smile at him, afraid to tell him.
He gives me a kiss on the cheek and turns his attention to the man behind the desk. I’m looking around the lobby. I’ve never seen anything like it before.
I feel a nudge; I turn to him, “yes?”
“Your hand,” he looks to a receptor.
“Oh,” I say. I hesitate for a second and then place my hand on it.
There is a brief moment of panic that runs through my body and mind. I can feel my heart race and my head swirl. I’m thankful that he has a firm grip on my waist because I feel like I might just tumble over.
“Enjoy your stay,” the clerk hands him a key and we walk away.
“You’re acting too nervous,” he says. “We’re supposed to be having fun.”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He’s still holding me. I scan the room. I notice the man that walked past us, in the corner; he’s staring right at me. I turn back to Anthony and lean in and kiss his cheek. He squeezes my side and turns me to face him. He looks over my shoulder quickly but draws his attention back to me. He smiles and kisses me on the lips. I can feel his hand on the small of my back.
I don’t resist. I think of Quinn, and that frightens me more than anything. I hope all my efforts will keep him safe. I need to convince Ian that I am on his side.
He pulls me tight. I bring my arms up his back and rest them on his shoulders. I can feel his guns, one under each arm. He pulls back and looks at me, and then over my left shoulder. He’s noticed the man too.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Emma
Our room is fabulous. It’s finished with the finest furnishings and there’s a balcony that overlooks the city. I step out onto it and gaze. My heart is heavy. I look over the side, and I think it might be a nice way to die. I could lose myself in the view; the lights from the city and the stars above.
I turn and look into the room, Ian’s talking on the phone. He looks up at me and smiles. I wonder what his plan is for me and what will happen if I allow myself to pretend that this is real, that we are here as a married couple, happy and in love and not controlled by the Federation laws.
He is broken, just as I am. We can feel; we can love, hurt and hate. I think about Quinn. He can feel more than the average Federation citizen, but only the senses and emotions that are allowed, all the others are dulled.
Is that why he was able to make the decision to reset and give up on me? I can’t hide my emotions any longer. I’ve been doing it for a long, time and I’m tired. I want to live. I want to be free.
I smile at Ian. If it were a different situation; if he hadn’t murdered my friend, maybe I could love him. Maybe I belong here because I know I don’t, belong top side or any place in the Federation.
A life of crime, who would have thought me, with my perfect scores and heritage, would end up here.
He puts down the phone, and he walks towards me. I realize that I’m staring at him like a school girl. I straighten and avert my eyes as he approaches. I lean against the rail, hanging on with both hands.
“You need to get changed,” he says. “We have a party to go to.”
“Why,” I ask. I need to know. “Why irritate the Federation? What does it do for your cause?”
“We need to be a thorn in their side,” he says. “We are forced to hide in the Under, with little rations and no services. But we are the lucky ones because we are still part of the Federation, unlike the banished.”
“I didn’t even know that the Under existed until the night Marcus was killed,” I say. “What’s the difference?”
“Between the Under and the Wastelands?” he asks. “We are considered useful. We run the mines, the power stations, the sewers. We are slaves to the Federations.”
“But you’re not online?” I say. “They can’t control you.”
“They control us,” he says,” they starve us, take our healthy citizens; they trade us and exploit us.”
“What about the wastelands?”
“The rebels have strongholds, but it’s wild and dangerous,” he says. “It is chaos…you wouldn’t survive. Most people are willing to take their chances with the Federation, than risk the dangers of the wastelands.”
I don’t say anything. He steps closer to me.
“I’m not sure what your plans are, but you can stay,” he slides his hands around my shoulders and pulls me close. “I can protect you.”
“Have you heard from Adam?” I push away from him.
“Still holding out for your freedom?” he says.
“He won’t care,” I say, “nobody cares about me.”
“So what are you going to do?” he asks. “Where are you going to go…the wastelands?”
“I want to be free,” I say, but I have no intentions to go to the wastelands. There is only one way to be completely free, and that’s death.
“If that’s your choice,” he shrugs, “but it’s a shame.”
“You’re different than I expected,” I say. “What happened to ruthless and cold?”
“You haven’t given me a reason to show you that side of me yet,” he says. “But if you betray me; I will kill you and everyone you care about, and it won’t be quick, and it won’t be pleasant.”
I look into his eyes, and he is telling the truth. He scares me and entices me, in a mix of heat and hatred. He pulls me to him, and he kisses me hard. I lean my head back, revealing my neck; he kisses me gently below my ear, my shoulder, just above my heart.
I look up at the stars. I close my eyes and think of Quinn. I think we once shared a night full of stars; I can see it in my head, but I don’t know if it’s real.
Each kiss draws me deeper. He’s a promise of freedom, a promise that I will finally be able to rest and finally be able to save Quinn. My mind shifts from pleasure to pain, as I remember Quinn with his hands around my neck; the same ne
ck that Ian is kissing, making feel desired and safe.
I open my eyes, and I am no longer looking at the stars. I search the darkness between their light, hoping for answers, wishing for peace. I make a promise to forgive him. As soon as I’m done helping Ian; I will return to my orchard, and I will finally find peace, the only way I know how.
CHAPTER FORTY
Quinn
I try to open my eyes. My right one is swelled shut. The room is dark, except for the outline of light around a doorway. I roll onto my back, and a sharp pain shoots through my body. I feel my chest and my ribs. I’m sure a few of them are broken. I try to sit up, but I can’t; the pain is intense. I try to breathe, but each inhalation sends my lungs into an excruciating spasm.
Numbness takes over, and I drift into darkness. My mind searches for something. I can feel it near, but I can’t see it or touch it. I run, but I cannot feel my feet upon the ground. I hear words drift down to me from someplace above. I listen, until all I can feel are the words, but I do not know what they are saying to me. Then they are faint, and all I can feel is my heart bursting against my chest, taking over every part of me until all I am is the beat. A shadow crosses in front of me. I see it dance against the moonlight. I know it, it feels safe and free. I run after it, around a corner and into the woods. I hear it, as it prances amongst the trees. I feel it as it swirls around me, touching every part of me. I come to an empty area; there’s nothing but me and my emotions. I can taste them, touch them, and smell them; they are sweet and pure. I open my eyes, and I see the tree. I sit under its branches and wait. I will wait until I can no longer wait until the days cease and the nights consume me. I will never give up on the feeling. It is all that I am and nothing more. I lean against the rough bark and look straight up into the branches. The moonlight shines down, and I feel alone. I look for the shadow, but the light has gone. A cold fog wraps itself around me, and I feel myself slipping. I hear it; it’s searching for me. I try to call out to it, but I am lost. I hear its voice, it’s worried, it’s sad, it’s frightened. I tell it I’m safe and to come to me, but it cannot hear me. It’s drifting, fading away. I call her name. I hear myself say it. I hear her words as they find my ear, but it is too late. I am lost.