by Miria Masdan
“Population growth is regulated by the Federation, through programming, upgrades, selective conceptions and deprogramming,” Ian says. “But out there; there are no regulations, no superior systems…no, upgrades. They can conceive and birth their own offspring.”
“How do they ensure a healthy child, with no genetic flaws?”
“They don’t,” she says, “it’s all natural.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Come with me,” Ian says. “It’s time to see what we came here to see.”
He leads me up the staircase. We walk through rows of shelves with old books on them. I have a few at home that my grandmother gave me, but I’ve only seen so many in one place one other time, at the Elementary School.
I think about Peter. The women at the school said Peter would come for me, but I have no idea who he is, or when he will come. I wonder if Peter can answer my questions.
“What is this place,” I ask?
“It’s called a library,” he says. “It’s an entire building filled with books. People use to come here and borrow them, read them and then return them.”
“Why?” I say. “It seems so complicated. Wouldn’t it be easier to download a book to your program?”
“Some people liked it,” he says. “The world was different…people were different.”
We enter a room to the back of the library. It is long and wide. The walls are white, and the entire back wall is lined with windows. There are several tables with people sitting and working at computers. A young man looks up at us.
“Alec,” Ian says. “I’ve brought you, someone.”
The man grins. He is wearing glasses, just like the women downstairs and his hair is tied back in a ponytail. He has a long white coat on over his clothes. He reminds me of the workers in medical.
“It’s her,” he squeals. “She’s here. I can’t believe it. Can I keep her for awhile?”
“No,” Ian says, “she’s leaving soon.”
“What,” he stutters. “Where is she going? Up top, that doesn’t make any sense. It’s not safe. They’ll find her. I can’t believe they haven’t yet. And the wastelands - well, look at her. She wouldn’t make it a day.”
“No, one is keeping me,” I say. “What is he talking about?”
“She doesn’t know?” Alec looks surprised. “How could you not tell her?”
“There hasn’t been time,” Ian says. “I’m trying to tell her now.”
“What?”
“Emma, I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you,” Alec says. “We always knew it was possible…in theory, but no one has ever figured out how, until you.”
“I know you all think I’m special, but I can assure you there is nothing wonderful about me,” I say.
“Ah, but you couldn’t be further from the truth,” he says. “You are unlike any other human. You have a massive capacity for information. We don’t know exactly, but it might even be infinite. Your programming is untouchable none of us have been able to hack you. We can observe, but we can’t access. We can only speculate at what’s inside. Someone created you specifically for data storage and the implementation of the virus. You’re magnificent.”
“I’m not,” I say. “If this is true why can’t I access it?”
“We think you can,” he says. “You just don’t know how. Whoever created you wanted it to be secreted. We think they were smuggling information to the rebels. We think you are the perfect device to destroy the Federation.”
“No, I’m not involved in anything like that,” I say. “The only thing unusual about me is my heightening.”
“It was a defense mechanism,” Ian says. “We believe that they wanted you to be aware, to keep you safe and to fit in when they retrieved you. They intend for you to return to them, in the wastelands.”
“The wastelands are wild and dangerous,” I say. “The rebels are insignificant, compared to the Federation; a thorn in their side, at best.”
“You’re wrong again,” Ian says. “They are gaining strength and they are well organized.”
“So, how does Benson fit into this scenario?” I ask, “and Rizzio?”
“They must have found out somehow,” Alec says. “It didn’t take us long to figure out you were special, and it took even less time to piece everything else together. Whoever designed you made that mistake. They wanted you to fit in, but they underestimated your flaws.”
“My emotions,” I say.
“Yes,” he says, “they gave you away. From your logs, it seems they started to coordinate with the energy spikes, and the breaches.”
“It’s someone close to you,” Ian says. “They have access to you. They wipe your memory clean after each transmission.”
“Quinn was able to access my visuals right before,” I say. My voice weakens; I can’t say his name without my heart aching. “Maybe you can bring something up too.”
“I can try,” says Alec. “It shouldn’t take too long.”
“There’s more,” Ian says. “You have a series of upgrades that are not Federation issued. We’re not sure what they are, but they require a lot of data and take up a lot of storage.”
“So what am I?”
“You are someone’s vision of an ideal human,” Alec says. “You are also uncontrollable by the Federation. You can fit in and hide, but they can’t program you. They can’t access you, and they can’t change you. Your system morphs and evolves; it’s always a step ahead. And it shields itself from detection; you’re perfect and flawed.”
“I guess I’m not understanding, how this makes me so important,” I say.
“If you have codes and access information inside you,” Ian says. “The rebels will be able to use that information and mount an uprising, take over the Federation.”
“That’s not all,” Alec says, “I think you might possibly hold all the information inside of the Federation program, within your system. Everything there is to know could be inside of you.”
My mind is trying to sort through everything they are saying, but I realize that they are in a position to use me as a pawn. It is what Rizzio was planning on doing. He knew Benson wanted me and would pay any price. Ian can gain either way: to save the Federation or to aid the rebellion. My fate rested with the highest bidder.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Emma
The scan takes about an hour. Alec doesn’t find anything more than Quinn did a week ago. But I find out that I haven’t had any unusual spike, which Alec believes is a sign that my memory hasn’t been wiped recently.
Ian left during my scan. I’m sitting alone in an office, on a couch, wondering what he’s doing. Wondering if he’s decided to let me go or use me. I close my eyes and curl up. I’m exhausted. My ankle still hurts, but it is in a cast, and I took medicine to alleviate the pain.
I haven’t had a nightmare in over a week, but my mind is wandering, and my heart is heavy. I thrash around in my sleep. Visions of my family and my friends all tangled into horrific scenes of betrayal and loss. I don’t focus on just one person at first. I can see Pam lying in her pool of blood, my father and mother crushed and torn by the shuttle, Ryan pulling me down; Mandy’s bloody, body crawling for help, and Quinn in my arms gasping for his last breaths.
I quickly sit up, hitting my head on a lamp beside the couch, and falling onto the floor. I steady myself. I can still see all their faces: dead, bloody, and needing my help. I can’t shake the feeling of failure and betrayal. I cover my eyes and cry.
I failed them all. My sister had warned me, and I didn’t listen and she ended up dead because of it. My father’s last gesture, the hug, was a warning too. I was too concerned about myself. They had all paid the price for my existence. Ryan died trying to save me and Mandy died because I was too weak to help her. But Quinn, he is still alive. I might be able to do something about him. If I die, if I sacrifice myself, he might be spared.
Nothing Ian has shown me has changed my mind. I am going home. I will go to
my orchard and sit beneath my tree, and I will end it all. Whoever created me will have wasted their time. I will not be someone’s pawn. I will not be a spy. I will not be the cause of a revolution.
I close my eyes and picture Quinn. He’s in my arms. He’s dying, I hold him, comfort him. He says the words, “I promised.”
I wonder what it was that he promised. He whispered to me when we were in the Under at Maggie’s house that he would keep me safe. Was that his promise? It would make sense; that would explain why he always sacrifices himself to save me.
But he won’t be able to stop me this time. I will be alone. I will die alone. A cold shudder runs through my body.
I get up and walk over to the window. Below is a courtyard, surrounded by a stone wall. There’s a group of children playing in an open area. Their voices travel up to the window; they are happy. I smile. I think about my sister and my brothers. My smile is fades. My brothers, I was so caught up in my own despair, I hadn’t thought about them. They are alone. Our parents and Pam are dead. I am all they have left in this world. It’s been almost a week since the shuttle accident, and Pam has been dead for only a day. Where are they, and why wasn’t I informed?
The door opens. I don’t look.
“Emma?” Ian says.
I still don’t turn around. I’m looking at a flower garden. It is beautiful, but we are underground. There’s no sunlight down here.
“Are you okay?” he says.
“Flowers?” I ask.
“They aren’t real.” He says, “Ann likes to make them. She has gardens all over the city.”
“They’re beautiful,” I say.
“I’ve arranged for you to leave,” he says. “I wish you would stay.”
“I don’t understand?”
“You were expecting me to keep you,” he says. “I know, and the thought did cross my mind, but it wouldn’t benefit us.”
“So that’s it,” I say, “I can go?”
“Yes,” he says, “but I want to show you one last thing.”
He opens the door. A young boy enters. He has dark hair and crystal blue eyes.
“This is Nathan,” he says. “He came to us almost two years ago when he was two months old.”
“Came to you?”
“His parents couldn’t care for him,” he says. “He’s natural born and they couldn’t hide him anymore.”
“That’s impossible,” I say. “We can’t conceive. It’s not in our programs.”
“No, it’s not,” he says. “There are flaws all the time, but the Federation takes care of them before they become a problem. He would’ve been destroyed. His parents wanted him to have a chance, so they sent him here.”
“Where are his parents now?”
“They’re living by Federation regulations,” he says. “They aren’t together. They scored different components.”
“So why show me him?”
“You can make a difference,” he says. “You can help the people.”
“I can’t,” I say. “Besides, how will a revolution help anyone? It will bring death and destruction, nothing more.”
“You can bring the Federation to their knees,” he says. “You can make a change. They can’t control you, but you can control them. We can protect you.”
“Ian,” I say. “I feel terrible for the people of the Under, but I can’t make a difference. If the Federation finds me, they will destroy me, or banish me. They aren’t going to be afraid of one girl.”
“So you’ve made up your mind?”
“Yes,” I say. “I want to go home.”
“There’s no one there,” he says. “They’re all gone.”
“My brothers?”
“The just disappeared,” he says. “We looked all over for them. There’s no evidence that they even existed.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means that they were taken care of,” he says.
“Dead?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “We tried.”
So I am alone.
He sends the boy back out the door and walks over to me. I’m looking out of the window again. He places his hands on my shoulders. He gently rubs my skin. He kisses my neck. I turn to look at him.
“Please don’t go,” he touches my face.
“I have to go,” I say.
He kisses my lips. I pull back. He looks at me.
“It could work here,” he says. “We can hide you.”
“I have something I need to do,” I say.
“Okay, but you can always come back,” he says.
He leads me back through the library and out into the Under. We travel through the city streets and back to his building. It’s late, and I decide to stay the night and get a fresh start in the morning.
I’m awake but curled up. My mind is swirling around all the events of the last week. There are so many things that don’t make any sense. I try to piece everything back together, but I can’t. I’m missing so much information.
I laugh.
I am supposed to be filled with information, but I can’t fill in the gaps of my own life.
A bang from out in the hall makes me stop. I listen. I hear it again. I recognize the sound. It’s someone hitting the floor.
I get up and start for the window, but my door opens, and the light from the hall fill the room. I cover my eyes. I can’t see who it is.
“Ian?”
“Emma?” Quinn’s voice breaks the night.
“Yes,” I say.
He comes in and stands in front of me. He came for me again. “Are you okay?”
“You shouldn’t be here,” I say.
I hear a gunshot. I jump. He grabs my hand and leads me out into the hall. I see my guards, dead on the floor. I had just talked to them; we ate dinner together. They had reassured me that I would be safe. They had talked about their kids and their families. They were people. They were protecting the innocent people down here. It’s the Federation taking more innocent lives, and Quinn doing their dirty work.
We continue through the building. Each hallway, we come across dead people. They had come in and just started killing people. They didn’t ask, they just killed, without regard or emotion.
We entered the bar area, where I met Marcus for the first time. I remember his words “don’t trust anyone.” I should have listened. I should have just left and headed home.
I can hear Max, and he’s not alone. There are about twenty Federation Police officers. There are more, dead Under civilians. I see Ian. He is on his knees, with a gun pointed at his head. I break away from Quinn and go to him.
“What are you doing?” I grab the gun and push it away from him.
“Emma?” Quinn grabs me.
“He didn’t do anything,” I say. “He helped me,”
“Emma, don’t fight,” Ian says, “it’ll be okay.”
“Ian,” the tears are starting to roll. I know how this ends. I don’t want to see anyone else die.
“Find him,” he says. “You are all that he has left in this world.”
“Who?”
“He belongs to you,” I look at him. I have no idea what he is talking about. All I can think about are my brothers, but why is he talking about them in the singular? Is one of them dead?
“That’s enough,” the officer holding him down says, right before he bashes him in the head with the butt of his gun.
Ian falls forward. His hands are tied behind his back. He moans, and I can see blood trickle down his neck.
“Stop,” I scream. “Please!”
Quinn grabs me around the waist and drags me away. I struggle; I try to get back to Ian.
“They can’t kill him,” I cry. “Quinn…”
“Calm down,” he says. “You’re safe.”
I break free, but he catches me and wraps me in his arms. I throw my elbow, as hard as I can, into his chest. He gasps and releases me. I run back towards Ian.
“Emma no,” Ian calls. “Go with them.”
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“You should listen to him, Emma.”
I stop. I hear him, but I don’t want to turn around and face him.
“Emma,” his voice is calm.
“You,” Ian shouts, “stay away from her! I’ll kill you, Benson!”
He struggles with the officer holding him, and two more officers are on top of him: hitting and kicking.
I can’t take my eyes off of him. He’s looking directly at me. I see the pain.
I step towards Ian, but Quinn has me again. I drop, but he expects it and drags me back.
“Don’t let her go with him!” Ian says right before another blow comes from the officer guarding him. “If you care at…”
Another blow, but this time with his boot, Ian’s head hits hard. He doesn’t move.
“You’re killing him,” I scream. “No!”
I drop to my knees. The sharp pain returns, but this time it is more intense than I have ever experienced. I can feel my throat vibrate, as I scream, but I can’t hear myself. An excruciating pulse surges through my body, and it is all that I can feel. It consumes me. I demand death to take me and end my suffering, but the pain subsides.
Quinn pulls me back to Adam. My vision is blurred by my tears, but I hear the shot. I see the blood spread out from his body. I’m shaking, uncontrollably. Quinn is holding me tight, supporting all my weight in his arms.
I look at him. “What have you done?”
“Emma?”
“Kill me please!” I whisper, “please.”
He looks at me, confused.
Adam grabs my arm and pulls me up. He doesn’t let go. His grip is tight. I can feel each finger, as it digs into my flesh. I know I am in trouble when he gets me alone with him. I wonder if Quinn has any idea what he has done; if he will save me from his precious Federation.
“Quinn, do it,” I beg. “Please.”
Quinn stands and looks at Adam. He looks at his hand on my arm. He looks at my eyes. Can he see my fear? He looks away, towards Ian. Are his words ringing in his mind? Will he do as I asked; will he kill me and spare me this terrible life I have been given?
I close my eyes and hope for the piercing pain of a single, shot through the heart, but it does not come. I open my eyes and see Quinn. He looks lost.