Tough Love (Hidden Secrets)

by Belden, P. J.

  “I think I’m falling in love with you,” she says nervously.

  “I think I might be too,” I whispered kissing the top of her head.

  “Well aren’t you conceited, falling in love with yourself,” she laughs and I smack her bare ass.

  Shaking my head, I made the long walk to my past. Sitting down next to the headstone, I traced the letters.

  HANNAH CONLEY

  Tears started to fill my eyes, “We were planning forever and I let you down.” My voice caught in my throat. “I didn’t save you, protect you.” Sniffling, tears land on the ground in front of her headstone.

  “I’ve met someone. I love her. She loves me,” my voice catches in my throat. “You were my friend first before we fell in love. So was Shannon. Hanz, I loved you. I loved you more than I thought I could, but Shannon… Shannon is so much more than love. She’s my other half. Hanz, what if I fail her like I failed you… I couldn’t suffer a loss like that again. I can’t. I’m not strong enough.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Shannon

  When the boys were taken, I was so scared. I’ve never been more terrified in my life. I had called Kayla straight away, but when I got the phone call. I had to text her back telling her never mind. Now, every little noise, every little sound, I’m freaking out thinking it’s someone coming for the boys again. Whoever this was wanted me. Why? I’m not sure.

  It had been a week since the boys were taken. The boys’ nightmares have stopped and they are sleeping in their own beds again. Me on the other hand, I’m still freaking out and have a hard time letting them out of my sight. I’m not sure I’ll ever go back to normal.

  “Sebastian? Atreyu?” I hollered from the kitchen.

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you guys want a picnic outside?”

  “YEAH!” They shouted, running out to the kitchen.

  Another wonderful thing that they did was put up all new privacy fencing around the backyard and bought a playground set. The boys love it. They call it a backyard park.

  “Okay go out back. I’ll bring out lunch in just a minute. You can play until I get out there okay?”

  Their cheering was left echoing even after they ran out the door. Laughing, I walked into the kitchen to start making their lunches. Just as I was setting out the ingredients for the sandwiches, there was a knock at the door. My heart started hammering in my chest. Slowly, I walk to the door. In my head, I’m telling myself don’t be scared, it’s nothing to worry about. But it didn’t stop me from panicking. It didn’t slow down my heart rate. It didn’t regulate my breathing. Slowly I reached for the door handle and pulled the door open. My breath caught in my throat for a whole different reason.

  “Jack,” I breathed.

  “Hey,” he said softly.

  Could he finally be ready to let me in? Was he back to tell me what’s been keeping him from me? Maybe that he loves me too? Or even better that he can’t live without me?

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Um, you haven’t been by the house, so I, uh, I brought the boys’ stuff over.”

  “Oh,” my heart broke all over again.

  “Do-Do you want me to bring it in?”

  “Y-yeah, um, excuse me a moment.”

  I went to my room and turned on the radio to drown out my crying. Forgetting the song that I had on repeat, it only made me cry harder. Lee Ann Womack’s The Fool started playing and it brought my tears out faster. Even after a week, I still held onto hope that he’d come to me ready to tell me everything. Ready to be a part of my life and let me be a part of his. I was wrong. How could I not see this coming? Was I that naïve that I couldn’t see he didn’t care about me?

  When I heard a car door closing, I looked out my window and saw his car drive away. He really did only come over here to deliver the boys’ stuff. He probably has someone else and can’t have a reminder of the former fling. My heart tightens painfully and jealousy leads way to nausea. Remembering the boys are waiting on their lunch, I walk into my bathroom. Blowing my nose, I splash water on my face to try and hide my tears. Then I head out to the kitchen, past all the boys stuff in boxes and into the kitchen. Opening the drawer, I pull out a knife and start spreading Miracle Whip on the slices of bread. Tears start falling down my cheeks again.

  Music started playing causing me to whip around coming face to face with Jackson. Jackson started singing along with Lonestar’s You’re the Reason Why. Tears started fresh and my knees gave out. Still singing along, Jackson kneeled down next to me pulling me to stand.

  Pulling me against him, he starts swaying us to the music. Singing softly in my ear, I was shaking against him. My mind couldn’t wrap around what was happening here. Was he telling me what I think he was saying? Jackson wasn’t saying anything. He just continued singing to the song. One hand held mine to his chest, the other was wrapped around my waist holding me tightly against him. I could feel his heart pounding beneath my hand.

  “Jackson, I…” My voice broke.

  “I love you, Shannon. I love you so much. It scares me. I don’t want to let you down, but I can’t keep going on without you. I’m not me without you and the boys. Please take me back. Please say you still love me,” he begs.

  “Jackson…” I sigh, pull away from him and move into the living room and sit on the couch. “I love you. It’s not something I can shut off, but I can’t…”

  “Her name was Hannah. We met when this girl Eli was into asked for a double date. She was great, actually a lot like you,” he smirked. “We had been dating for a couple months when she came to stay with me. She told me she was falling in love with me and I told her I was with her. I did love her Shannon. She lived a few hours away so we didn’t see each other as often as we wanted. Finally though she found a job in the area and we were going to move in together. She’d come down for the weekend to finalize everything,” he looks up at me with sad eyes. “We found out she was pregnant. I was excited, so was she. We had decided to keep it our little secret until we could get our families together. She was leaving that Sunday to head back to be there for the moving company to pack her up. I get a call about an hour later. She was in a car accident,” his voice broke and so did my heart. “She died on impact. I paid for her burial, I owed it to her. Everyone went to the funeral, but no one knew about the baby or that things were that serious between us. I failed her. I’m so scared that I’ll fail you too. It’d kill me if something happened to you because as much as I loved Hannah… I love you so much more than that. You complete me.”

  “Oh Jackson,” I sob and fall into his embrace.

  My heart broke for him. It was no wonder he didn’t want to let me in. Now I understood that night why he begged me to stop the kiss. He was blaming himself for what happened to Hannah.

  “It wasn’t you’re fault. None of it was. You can’t be expected to predict the future. If that was your fault then it was my fault when the boys were kidnapped.”

  “The boys were what!” He pulled away.

  “Uh, I thought you knew. A week ago, Kayla dropped the boys off and someone broke into my bedroom window and took the boys. They called me and said they’d exchange me for the boys…I could hear their muffled cries in the background. Then during the middle of the night there was banging on the door and when I opened the door the boys were there crying.”

  “I can’t believe no one told me this! I would have been here! I could have done something!”

  “In everyone’s defense, I did text Kayla back right after I called her and told her they were hiding.”

  He stared at me in shock. “You were going to go alone for the exchange weren’t you?”

  “Yes,” I said looking down at my hands. “They deserved to be given a chance to live. They had too much to still live for.”

  “So you were okay with them losing the last of their family?”

  “But they wouldn’t be, they’d be gaining one. So, really it was a win for them.”

  “How
do you figure?”

  “Because your parents agreed if anything were to happen to me they’d take care of the boys for me. So they’d be surrounded by so much love…” I shrug.

  “And what about the people that love you? What about me?”

  “What about you Jackson? You didn’t want me around a week ago,” I hissed.

  Moving back into the kitchen, I went back to fixing the sandwiches. I hear Jackson sigh behind me.

  “The boys aren’t here, Shannon. I had Jake take them to my mom’s. You don’t need to make their lunch.”

  I whirled around, angry. “What gives you the right to-”

  Jackson cut me off by slamming his lips down on mine. The minute that his lips touched mine the anger starts to melt away. My arms wrap around his neck and his move from my face to wrap around my waist. He pulls away slightly.

  “Please say you forgive me. Please say you’ll take me back. Tell me you still love me.”

  Smiling up into his eyes, “There’s nothing to forgive. Of course, I take you back. I never stopped loving you.”

  Taking hold of his hand, I lead him back to my room. “Wow, this looks amazing. The house looks really good. It feels like a home instead of a maze.”

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, “It feels like home now,” I whisper before pulling him back in for a kiss.

  Slowly Jackson backed us up to my bed. Lifting me, he crawled up on the bed with me never breaking the kiss. He pressed into me, his glorious weight pushing me into the mattress. We made short work of removing our clothing. Jackson was leaning above me on his arms.

  “I love you,” he says as he pushes into me. With each slow, deep thrust he breathes, “I’ll make you happy. I’ll cherish you for all of my life. I promise to put you first. To never leave you in the dark. To always talk to you. To keep you in my heart always. To hold your soul with my own. I will do all of this and more… If you marry me?”

  “What?” I breathed, looking up at him.

  “Shannon,” he continued his slow deep thrusts as he panted out. “You are it for me. There will be no one but you. I want you to be mine. With my last name, so all the world knows how much I love you. Please say yes. Please say you’ll be my wife.”

  My eyes filled with tears, they slowly made their way down my temples. “Yes,” I breathed.

  His thrusts picked up then as he leaned down and takes my mouth in a kiss so filled with love that it sent me over the edge. Jackson followed not long after me. Rolling to the side, Jackson held me to his chest as we let our breathing and heart rates calm down. Jackson’s stomach started to growl.

  Laughing, “Let me go cook something,” I said getting up.

  He pulls me back down on the bed with him. “No I want to hold you a little while longer.”

  His stomach growls again. I laugh. “No you need to eat if you’re going to be able to keep up.”

  Hurriedly, I got up out of the bed and found my robe sliding it on. I made my way out to the kitchen throwing the food away that had now sat out way too long for me to trust. Going into my pantry, I looked through my options. That’s when I heard music come on again. I loved this song. It was Rascal Flatt’s Nothing like this. Walking back out into the kitchen, I started to say, “You and this music…” but was cut short when I saw him kneeling down on one knee holding an open ring box.

  “I know you already said yes, but I wanted to make it official. Shannon Mitchell, you are the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, when I’m having a shit day at work, and when I come home at night you’re the last thing I see. I’ve been in love before, but it was nothing like I feel about you. You’re more than love. You’re…You’re my reason to live, to wake up every morning, to smile, laugh. You’re my reason for life. Please will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me.”

  Tears fell down my face, “Do you need my answer again? Because I meant it the first time.” I smirk.

  “Baby…” he choked

  I moved over to him, kneeling down taking his face in my hands, “Yes, yes, yes, yes,” I whispered before kissing him passionately.

  He broke the kiss, raining kisses all over my face, laughing. Then pulls back and slips a single diamond ring on a silver band onto my finger, then kisses my finger and ring. Looking at the ring a surge of excitement runs through me and I throw my arms around his neck, almost knocking him backward. He stands, pulling me with him, and spins me around in circles.

  Once he stops spinning us around, we start dancing to the song still playing in the background. My laughter was uncontrollable. For the first time in a while, I was so happy I was spilling over unable to control it.

  “I love hearing you laugh,” he said kissing the side of my head.

  “You know this should be our wedding song. I think it’s perfect.”

  “You think so huh?”

  Pulling back I look up at him, “I do, but do you?”

  “That’s a little premature. We haven’t even filed for the license yet. I’ll pretend with you too. I do.” He laughs.

  “You’re funny. When are the boys coming back?”

  “Well we’re actually expected at Mom’s for dinner in a couple of hours.”

  “What?”

  “What you don’t want to?” He asked confused.

  “No it’s not that. Ugh! I need to go shower so I’m not smelling like you and sex,” I say pulling away leaving a laughing Jackson behind me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Jackson

  We arrived at my mom’s and Shannon seemed real nervous. As I helped her out of the car, I pushed her against it and kissed her. I kissed her until I felt her body lose the tension and loosen in my hold. Once I was sure she was relaxed, I pulled away.

  “What’s wrong beautiful?”

  “The last time I saw Nick and Kayla, well and talked to Mary, they were mad at me.”

  Chuckling, “No, beautiful. They were mad at me, not you. Trust me, I was either visited or called by them. You have nothing to worry about.” Looking in her eyes, “There’s something else isn’t there?”

  “You’re…You’re sure that Sebastian and Atreyu are in there?”

  My heart broke for her. “Oh beautiful. They’re in there. No one is touching them ever again. Come on. Let’s go in so you can see. Okay?”

  She nodded her head and I led her inside. I could feel her shaking against me. We walked into the living room and the boys jumped off my Mom and Dad’s laps and came running up to her. She dropped to her knees and held the boys tightly against her. When I looked up, I saw the confused looks on their faces, but they could wait. Even I wanted to make sure they were unharmed. I knelt down next to them and pulled Sebastian into my arms.

  “Are you okay buddy?” I whispered.

  “I’ve missed you Jack.”

  “I’ve missed you too. I’m not going anywhere now though. Okay?”

  “Where were you?” He looks sad and steps away.

  “I made a mistake buddy. Have you ever picked up a toy that you really wanted to play with, but when another kid started crying you gave it to them to stop their tears?”

  “Yeah. When we went to the group there was a little girl there that always had bruises and was scared of everyone, but me and Atreyu. She always liked the toys I played with.”

  “Well, that’s kind of what happened. See I was in love with someone before your sister. We were going to have a baby, but she left my house one day and got into an accident.”

  “They die?”

  “Yeah, buddy?” My voice breaking.

  There was a gasp sound causing me to look up. My mom stood there with tears in her eyes. “Jackson, why…”

  Standing up, I walked over and gave my mom a hug. “No one knew. We were going to move in together and tell everyone once we got both families together. It just never happened.”

  “I’m so sorry baby.”

  “No Ma. Don’t be. She knew I loved her and I knew she loved me. It just took me a
while to accept it,” turning I looked at Shannon, who still hugged the boys. “Or maybe it was more it took the right woman.”

  Sebastian walked back up to me and I squatted down to his level. “But you left and these mean people took us.”

  “Sissy told me and I’m so sorry. I can’t take that back, but I’m here now and I won’t let anyone come near you guys again, okay?”

  We were all lead into the dining room, where Kylee and Nick were setting the table. We were all sitting around the table, everyone making small talk. As per usual, Sebastian and Atreyu were the center of attention. They cracked me up.

  Shannon’s phone rang and I watched her pale as she looked at the screen. Pressing silence, she puts her phone back in her pocket. It rings again and she jumps. Placing my hand over hers, I asked her to look at me.

  “What’s going on?”

  “N-nothing.”

  “Shannon, we promised to not leave each other in the dark.”

  “No! You promised those things!” She yelled as she got up and left the room.

  Sighing, I got up and went after her. Looking around I found her in the sitting room. Approaching with caution because honestly, I didn’t know what was going on and I didn’t want her to run.

  “Shannon?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you,” she said quietly.

  “You don’t need to apologize, but baby we’re in this together. There’s no more you and me. There’s only us. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.” I said as I wrapped her in my arms.

  After a moment, she speaks softly. “When the boys were taken, this woman called…”

  “And she wanted to trade you for the boys. You told me that.”

  “The boys were hurt because of me. Thankfully, one of the kidnappers had a conscience because they brought the boys back before they were severely traumatized. They’re going to get hurt and it will be my fault.”

  “No one will hurt you or the boys,” I promised. “But if I’m going to keep my promise, I have to know what’s going on, okay?”