The Heaven I Found In Hell

by Ashley Andrews

  "Shit," Nathan cursed to himself.

  He was thinking about her again. How could she make him act like that? So lost? So helplessly in need of her? He shook his head and smacked himself mentally. He wanted to forget about her. He needed alcohol.

  "I'm sorry, did I do something?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

  Nathan looked at the stranger who stood before him. She was an Aphrodite…like Alex…but in a different sort of way. She had whitish blonde hair and the bluest eyes. They were the color of an ocean glimmering by the sun's rays. She was radiant, and the way she carried herself…arrogance surrounded her aura. In her bright red mini dress, she stood in front of Nathan with her left leg in front of her right, and in her silver Jimmy Choo's, her muscles tightened, her already long legs lengthening even more. Her skin was pale, an imperfection, or so he thought. Her kind of beauty was the opposite of Lexy's, but nonetheless, she remained stunning.

  "I was kind of surprised when you cursed me," she said smiling seductively. "Did you really?"

  Nathan smiled sheepishly.

  "No. You got it all wrong," he answered not at all falling for her flirtatious acts. "I just remembered something."

  "Oh," she replied innocently, brushing her arms against his in an accidental manner.

  Nathan moved away, and the woman frowned. She was surprised at how this guy was acting. Nathan Adams? Like this? And so…that must mean the rumors she heard from last year were all wrong, but if ever they were…what had happened to the playboy? She was expecting him to fall for her, caught in her gaze, hypnotized by her beauty. She was starting to get irritated. She needed to have him by the end of the night. She couldn't fail or her pride would be extremely hurt and that couldn't happen.

  "I'm Amanda by the way," Going for a different approach, she said before she pulled in for a hug from the model-worthy seventeen year old.

  Nathan hugged back, but his arms didn't circle Amanda's body tightly. He just didn't want to be rude, and the woman didn't want her new victim to be playing the hard-to-get game.

  "Nate," he said in a very soft voice.

  Amanda let out a very girl high-pitched squeak before she said, "I know. Everyone knows."

  Nathan sighed. Rumors. Speaking of which, he was wondering if whether his cool-off time with Alex would reach the tabloids. He hoped for the best which was that that would never happen. He didn't want the whole world to know about his life and how miserable it was, but before he could think more of the girl he missed the most, Amanda spoke up.

  "You don't talk too much," she said giggling. "Is anything wrong?"

  Before Nathan could get time to think, the rude monster in him woke up and answered, "Nothing that's your business."

  Amanda tried to keep her mouth from opening, but she failed. She didn't expect an answer like that to come from him, and so, that totally shocked her. What did she have to do to get him to loosen up? She wanted him…or what he could give her…by tonight.

  "Why won't we go sit down with my friends?" she asked, trying to get him to lighten up. "I'm sure they'd want to meet you."

  "Thank, but no thanks," Nate said in reply. "I have my own friends to go to."

  With that, he sauntered off to one of the table in the middle of them room. He took the seat beside Riley, and his sister could only look at her brother in concern. She didn't know how much he was hurting. She wanted to help, but how could she? Nathan himself wasn't opening up to anyone. She needed to talk to Alex, badly.

  "Hey guys, got to go to the bathroom," Riley said standing up and leaving the two guys, Anthony and Nathan, to have some 'guy time.'

  "Okay, we'll be waiting," Anthony said giving his girlfriend a small gentle kiss on the lips before she left.

  Nathan saw that minuscule act of affection, and suddenly, he felt his heart beating faster and his chest tightening even more. He had no one to kiss…anymore, but it wasn't all about the physicality…it was more…no, it was all about her. He absolutely missed her. He wanted her back in his arms, their lips crashing against each other, their bodies fitting one another perfectly, and their hands on each one's sides. He missed Alex Levi. He missed saying, "I love you."

  "Excuse me?" that voice of Amanda's asked. "Did you just say?"

  Nathan looked up from his plate to the sexy woman that stood beside him. He then moved his eyes from her, as they landed on Anthony's surprised figure.

  "What the hell is happening here?" Riley's boyfriend asked to no one in particular. "Who are you?"

  "She's no one," Nathan said, the harshness of his voice coming back.

  "Well, I'm Amanda," she said, stretching her hand out for Anthony to take.

  "Anthony," he returned. "And please excuse the ass I call my friend."

  Amanda frowned mentally and asked herself why her charms weren't working on her new eye-candy. If he had been somebody else, they would have probably banged each other, pissed drunk and too stoned to care. But here comes somebody…so mysterious…so harsh. But that didn't matter. He was god-ish hot, the perfect boyfriend for the head cheerleader. The only problem was…he wasn't cooperating like he should.

  "It's okay," Amanda replied. "I'm actually getting used to him and his attitude."

  Anthony smiled politely. He wanted her to leave. She needed to leave. She was just going to embarrass herself.

  "Are you done?" Nathan asked which made Anthony elbow him.

  "I was wondering if you two would want to ditch this boring party."

  "And?"

  "Well, my friends and I are heading over to the pool, to swim and drink," she said, smiling a mischievous and hinting one. "Interested?"

  "Actually…" Anthony said sounding unsure. Where was Riley? Where the hell was his girlfriend? "I'm looking for my girl…going to ask if she wants to come,"

  "Oh…" Amanda said in response, and then she turned to Nathan. "How about you?"

  "Sorry, but I'll just go hang with the oldies," he said, standing up and leaving his best friend with the girl he was so keen on calling…bitch.

  Anthony left Amanda and headed over to the hall where the bathrooms were. The place was empty, and all he could hear was the familiar loud voice of Riley. She sounded like she was talking on the phone. He walked closer to the sound and his eyes widened in surprise.

  "You have to come here, Alex," Riley said, as Anthony pressed his ear against the wooden door of the female's bathroom. "My brother is a mess!"

  Anthony opened the door and stepped in the women's restroom before he thanked God for it being empty. Boyfriend and girlfriend looked at each other in shock, neither one speaking nor talking. After a few seconds, Anthony opened his mouth.

  "I want to talk to her."

  Riley handed her phone to him, and the conversation went on for thirty minutes. The bill wasn't really a care, only Nathan's health and happiness.

  * * *

  Chapter 23: Since

  * * *

  Before I could think twice about what Riley had forced me to do, everything was too late. I had entered the plane and fastened my seat belt, while it, carrying a couple hundred passengers, started to move, as it ran in top speed. I was nervous even though I really had no reason to be. Well…that was what Ri assured me, but I was starting to worry already. What if Nathan completely ignores me? I couldn't stand that.

  During the ride, I started thinking about all the possibilities, the good and the bad that could happen with my visit. I still liked Nathan, still loved him with all my heart. I just didn't know if that feeling was mutual. I hadn't talked to him in a week's time, and in a couple of days, it was going to be Christmas. I had bought his gift already. It was a very sentimental one, and I had decided upon it when we were still together. I brought it with me just in case we'd make-up. If ever not, which I hope wouldn't happen, I still had to buy something, something in the line of friendship.

  Friendship. I didn't want my relationship with my most recent ex to be like that since my heart still beat for him. This, what I was feeling, wasn'
t an obsession, just merely a thought which clouded my mind 24/7. I am not trying to be funny, nor sarcastic or humorous, just truthful. I am not laughing, smirking, or grinning at the moment, frowning actually. Why? Because my plane had just landed, and I was to step out and meet my fate.

  My heart was throbbing, my chest tightening, and my knees weakening. I was wearing heels, and I could feel my legs wobbling. Shit. Was I serious? Was I really worrying? Damn. I've really been changed. I stepped out into the cool California air. It was snowing, but the flakes were nothing like the ones in New York. They were smaller, and the weather was less cold, but that didn't really matter. All that did was how Nathan felt. My train of thoughts continued until a white truck came and parked in front of me. I saw Anthony get out of the driver's seat, while Ri the passenger seat. Nathan was nowhere to be found. Figures. I eagerly hugged the both of them before I kissed each one on their cheeks. They returned my tight embrace and small peck.

  "Finally, we've been waiting for you," Riley said in enthusiasm as she helped me, Anthony included, put my luggage at the trunk of the car.

  "And I've been dreading this…" I answered in return.

  "Everyone knows except Nate," Anthony said with a small sheepish grin.

  Good thing the three of us entered the car and easily drove off because I had noticed a few photographers hiding behind large potted plants while most of them didn't really care if they were going to invade my privacy. They must have been able to take a picture or two but thank God they were nothing controversial. Rumors about me and my life were the last things I needed. I just wanted peace…and him.

  "Have you been waiting long?" Riley asked, striking up a conversation.

  "No, not really," I answered with a shrug of my shoulders. "Hey, you know New York is so much colder."

  "Yeah we do know," Ri said in reply, as she looked back to face me.

  "Nathan told us."

  They looked back at me, grinned, and then questioned my silence while I shrugged my shoulders in return. I looked out the window and saw a strip of the beach, snow, small but expensive shops, and a lot of million-dollar mansions which one, we stopped in front of. It was a Mediterranean styled house, its windows covered with grills, while dark grey columns marked the entrance. A huge door greeted us with brass knobs as we parked the car into the driveway. We got out, and I was hounded by Ri's parents. Both of them, separately of course, pulled me in for a hug; as if I was still Nathan's girlfriend who never did a nude photo shoot in her life. I smiled warmly at them because of their easy acceptance of me, and even though the weather was pretty cold and I was slightly shivering beneath my trench coat, my insides still felt the warmth.

  "You must be tired," Melissa, as I learned from Riley, said to me. "Your bedroom has been well prepared."

  I took in 'Melissa's' features and realized where Nathan got his light hazel green eyes from. They were the same shade of green that hypnotized me into admiration, but they were also the same-colored orbs that expressed emotion, too much I must say, that at times I couldn't help but feel distressed. Because of them, Nathan could never lie to me

  "Welcome," Steve, Nate and Ri's dad said. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

  I nodded, and then smiled again; however, before the conversation could go on any longer, the huge doors opened and out came a woman, as beautiful as she may have seemed to look arrogant. I felt her intimidating aura as she walked down the dark-colored marble steps. She smirked at me, her hazel green eyes glittering.

  "This is Taylor," Nate's mom said, and I could only flash their eldest daughter a smile.

  I didn't like the way she looked at me, as if I was an outsider. No, I have nothing against being treated as such. It was the way she looked down me, as if I was enthralled by their humongous beach-side house and it lush gardens. Not at all.

  "I've heard a lot of things about you," she said, still retaining her air of self-assurance. "Like what dad said, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

  "Likewise," I said trying my best to put on a genuine smile.

  All of us entered the house, and when I stepped in, I was greeted by a chandelier made of steel as the dark color matched the Swarovski crystals that hung onto it. I looked around, carpets, vases, authentic artifacts, jewelries here-and-there, nothing I haven't seen before. I looked at Taylor and saw her frown. She was disappointed that I wasn't bowing to her yet. Mistake there…I was never going to bow down to her.

  "Taylor will show you to your room," Steve said, as he made us go up the marble steps of their stairs. "It's beside Nathan's, so you won't have any problems communicating with him."

  I nodded and didn't do anything else. How was I supposed to return what he said?

  * * *

  "So, you're the supermodel?" Taylor asked once it was only the two of us.

  We were in a room that was supposedly going to be mine for the next week. Like every part of this house, my bedroom was luxurious, extravagant, and unaffordable by many. The bed itself held the best linen sheets and the softest pillow cases which contained geese feathers. I sat on the edge of the bed while Taylor comfortably rested her back against its headboard. She smirked at me, and in return, I held an unmoving composure that I hoped told her to stop what she was trying to do. She was at least a couple years older than me, but she was acting so immature by trying to impress me.

  I nodded my head to answer her question.

  "The one that posed nude?"

  Oh…so this is how it's going to be…well…two can play the game.

  "Which one? I'm not sure who you're talking about because Gisele, Adriana, Karolina and a lot more of my friends have done that."

  Her smile was now non-existent as her lips formed a thin grim line. I heard her let out a grunt, but she covered up quickly by smirking once more.

  "I was talking about my brother's ex."

  "Oh…well, then you're talking about me," I said, giving her the best smile I could muster.

  She put her legs up, her toes touching the side of my thigh as she twirled her fingers around her blonde locks. She was pretty, no argument there, but she was the most childish nineteen-year old I have ever known, trying to brag to me about her riches, that I must say were just ordinary to my eyes. Aside from that, she wasn't going to give up the fight. Why did she hate me? Was it my guts? Or was it what I did to her brother? The answer was the latter as I soon figured out.

  The door of my bedroom opened and in came a sweat-dripping Nathan clad only in a pair of jogging pants, his hair wet and his breathing rapid. At first, he only noticed his sister. With the way they looked sympathetically at each other, I could tell they were very close. They shared this somehow unbreakable bond and I immediately felt envious. When he turned to me however, his look of compassion immediately faded away. He looked shocked, and all he could do or say was, "Taylor, I need your help."

  The blonde merely nodded, and they both left me alone. What was I going to do in this house? Nothing. What can I do in California? Go shopping.

  I left my room and went downstairs to tell the rest of the family I was going to go to the nearby mall in order to relax. Hospitable as they really were, they lent me one of their cars and told me to be back at six-ish. There was going to be a Christmas dinner in their house where only the rich and famous in the O.C. were invited. Parties. Parties. Parties. I thought I had escaped it already when I left New York.

  * * *

  I bought a lot of things, and when I say a lot, I really mean it. My legs were sore from walking around while my hands and arms were aching with the load I was carrying. I bought everything from a pair of flats and heels, to a couple of pants, and a handful of tops. To top that off, I bought a new iPod. I was bored and sad. How else could I use the benefits my parents gave me to better use?

  I was about to leave Guess and head back to the residence I was staying in when a familiar voice called out my name. I turned to greet the stranger when I realized the person was no stranger at all. It was Taylor, and besi
de her, was no one else but her dearly beloved brother. He seemed surprise to see me, and that was the only emotion I could make out from his hazel green eyes. I didn't know if he was happy or sad to be standing in front of me. I just let it stay that way.

  "That's a lot of things you bought," she said, eyeing my bags. "You should've told me you were going to go shopping. Nathan and I would have accompanied you."

  I looked at the siblings and only stared at them in amazement. Wasn't she just talking so lowly of me a while ago? And now she's acting like we're the best of friends. Reality check. Nate's twin sister was my best friend, not her.