by Sue Lilley
“It’s a long story,” she sighed. “It was such a horrible time.”
“So give me the short version?”
“The baby wasn’t planned,” she told him, reluctant to bore him with the details, but finding she wanted to talk. “I was taking the pill but there was a time when I ate something dubious and was violently ill. I felt so stupid when I realised. And Joe was so weird about it, we couldn’t really talk. I’ve felt ever since that losing the baby was my punishment for not wanting it enough.”
“Sounds like a ton of shit to deal with. Maybe a summer in the Spanish sunshine will help take your mind off it?”
“Jake, don’t!” she pleaded as he manoeuvred his position so he could kiss her. “That’s a fantasy. It isn’t real life. I’m due back at work in a couple of weeks.”
“I’d take fantasy over real life any day. Couldn’t you swing more time off? Say you’re not ready yet, or something? I get that you don’t want to leave your daughter but I meant what I said about bringing her along. No strings. No hassle. What’s to think about? You know you want to.”
Of course she wanted to but that didn’t make it any more possible. She lay back, her head on his chest, watching his hands stroking her arms. Even through her sweater, he had her skin tingling again. Already, after only a couple of days, she was wondering what her life would be like without him.
“I bet I’m the first proper fuck you’ve had in years. How can you resist?”
“You are such a big head!”
She twisted out of his arms and threw a cushion at him. But she did laugh. What was it about him, that he could make her feel so different? When he grabbed her again and kissed her neck, she felt herself beginning to melt. Would it be so bad just to go with the flow, for the first time in her life? Maybe he was right and real life could wait.
Needing to be the one in control, she eased him back against the sofa and reached for his fly. He sprang out eagerly into her hand. She kissed the length of him, twirling her tongue. Teasing. Inciting. But she couldn’t totally abandon her practical nature.
“You’ve stopped,” he gasped.
“There’s a condition.”
“Anything,” he groaned. “Name it.”
“We have to do something about the roof.”
“Later,” he promised. “Just don’t stop now.”
Later, he was as good as his word. As soon as the rain looked like easing off a little, Jake was bounding up a ladder he’d found in the shed. It looked more dangerous than she’d imagined.
“Careful! It’s very old. The rungs might be a bit rotten. Maybe we should wait until it’s properly dry?”
“Too late now for second thoughts. If I break anything, you’ll just have to kiss it better.”
There were a few broken slates and three completely gone, he called down to her, after what seemed like an eternity when she stood at the bottom of the ladder with her heart in her mouth. Two slates were still on the roof where they’d slipped. He pointed out the other one smashed in the overgrown vegetable garden.
“There’s a pile in the shed,” he told her when he was safely down again.
“A pile of roof slates?”
“You townies! No idea what coal sheds are really for. I noticed them when I got the ladders. I can probably do a quick fix.”
“You can do that? It’s not too wet?”
“You need some serious work up there but I can hammer in a couple of nails in the meantime. I’m sure the reward will be worth it.”
“You couldn’t? Not again?”
“Sounds like a bet to me. Hold that thought.”
Starting to wish she’d never mentioned the roof, she couldn’t stand there watching while he risked his neck. She escaped inside and tidied away their cosy little nest from in front of the fire. She wasn’t up to another night of passion on the floor. As she made up the bed in the spare room, she realised she’d just assumed that Jake would be staying around for as long as she wanted him.
Outside, the rain had started again with a vengeance. Jake came down the ladder, holding the ends of his filthy white shirt.
“This is my best rock-star stage shirt.”
“And you ruined it for me?” She handed him a towel and kissed him. “Thank you.”
“Not grateful enough. Keep trying.”
She kissed him harder, closing her eyes against the rain. She tugged off his shirt, stroking her hands down his chest and his arms. She couldn’t get enough of his tautness, his firm young skin.
“I’m surprised you haven’t got the obligatory rock star sleeve?”
“Tattoos? Not me. I’m scared of needles.”
“Feeble!”
“I’ll show you who’s feeble.”
He grabbed her. His kiss was sizzling as he pushed her back against the wall, his hands under the soft cotton of her sweater.
“Jake!” she gasped, as he pushed down her jeans. “It’s pouring and it’s broad daylight!”
“Why are you always so bothered about details?”
The stone was cold on the backs of her legs. She shivered as he nudged her knees apart and plunged into her. It was quick and hard, like nothing she’d ever known before.
Was it really only Saturday she’d met him? Four days ago, she’d been distraught. Since then she’d had more sex than she’d had in years and she’d loved every minute. She banished the thought that if she’d been so eager with Joe, maybe he wouldn’t have looked elsewhere. It was too late now to be thinking about Joe.
Jake held onto her hands and stopped her picking up her jeans. Her sweater was somewhere around her armpits. The rest of her was naked. She let his eyes rake over her. Normally she’d be rushing to cover herself up. How quickly she’d changed.
“Nice!” Jake grinned.
“You did not just lick your lips? And have you seen how filthy your face is? I can’t believe you made me kiss you looking like that.”
“I made you kiss me? And now you’re making me stand here in the pouring rain looking at you naked?”
“You could let me get dressed?” He stood back with another grin as she stepped into her jeans. “You don’t have to watch me.”
“Why not? It’s as sexy as watching you take them off.”
As he zipped up his own fly, she noticed he was looking a bit more serious. Her heart skipped a beat. Was this where he told her that now he’d had what he’d come for, he was leaving? But it wasn’t that.
“That last time, we didn’t use anything,” he said. “We kinda ran out.”
She hadn’t even noticed there weren’t any condoms but it didn’t seem quite proper to say so.
“I can’t get pregnant again, if that’s what you’re worried about?”
“I wasn’t but it’s good to know. I just wanted to tell you I get tested. I’m clear, if you’re worried about the risk?”
How could she say it had never crossed her mind? If that was the kind of conversation people had these days, she was way out of touch. But it didn’t seem to be bothering Jake. He’d already moved on.
“Well, now we’ve cleared all that up,” he said. “I’m starved, not to mention drenched. Can you find me something dry to wear?”
She had a big black T-shirt, too sparkly for anything other than wearing for bed. Somehow on him, it took on a rock-star vibe. Or maybe she just fancied him so much, she’d like him in anything. She checked out the fridge while he washed his face and hands at the sink.
“There’s not much left. Scrambled eggs okay?”
“For an older woman with a Beemer, you’re a pretty cheap date.”
“Just for that, I think I’ll let you make it.”
“Just for that, I’ll let you show me later how grateful you are.”
Chapter 15
Joe woke with a jolt, the splash of rain on the windows making him need an urgent run-off. He’d meant to stay in the safe zone at the edge of the bed but Lisa was snuggled into his side, her arm thrown across his belly. He had to nudge her c
arefully off him, to avoid them both tipping onto the floor.
It was nearly nine o’clock. He’d slept better than he had a right to but the wet weather had left his dodgy leg aching. He felt stiff and grubby and keen to be out of that dismal room and on his way.
He had a quick shower but was too impatient to bother with a shave. When he came out of the bathroom, he was relieved to see Lisa was up and fully dressed. He gave himself a little mental pat. Not many guys could have spent a night in the same bed without touching her. Well only a little bit of touching, considering he was only human.
The weather forecast was on. Not great news for the south west. The M5 seemed to be getting the brunt of it. Cameras zoomed in where flooded fields were lapping right over the hard shoulder in places. He hoped Evie was okay in that cottage on the cliff and that he could get there before the worst of it reached her.
He started to shove things into his holdall. If he’d calculated right, they were less than 20 miles from Cheltenham. He could drop Lisa off at home and be on his way in no time.
“We’d best get a move on,” he urged. “I don’t want to get stuck in this place.”
As he picked up the sketch book, Lisa spotted the drawing and took the book out of his hands before he could close it.
“When did you do this?”
“Last night, when you were asleep.” How come that sounded so pervy?
“Do I really look like that? I love it.”
“I’m a bit rusty but it isn’t bad, I suppose. Keep it, if you like?”
“Really? Will you sign it?”
She passed him a pencil and a bit embarrassed, he scrawled his signature in the corner. She sat on the bed, obviously thrilled with the drawing. He’d forgotten how it felt to make someone so happy. He had to clear his throat.
“Come on, are you ready to go? We’ll grab some breakfast to eat on the road.”
Outside, he saw the car park had turned into a lake overnight. The few cars still there had water inching up their wheels. The woman in the café was full of doom and gloom but she didn’t need to persuade him not to hang about so she could close up and get herself home.
The rain was black and oppressive. Joe had never driven in such appalling conditions. Everything was crawling along, inching forward, trying to get where they needed to be before the water crept too far up their wheels. There were already cars abandoned on the hard shoulder.
He clicked on the radio, trying to control his frustration. He was starting to fear that twenty miles may as well be two hundred. At this rate, he’d be lucky to get to Cornwall this side of Christmas.
“They’ll be closing the motorway if this keeps up,” he muttered. “The Cheltenham turn-off has got to be soon. Get ready to give me directions. I don’t want to waste time going the wrong way.”
She nodded glumly. “Fine.”
“What’s the matter? Won’t you be pleased to get home?”
“I’d rather be coming to Cornwall with you.”
He laughed, hoping she was joking. “I’m meeting my wife, remember? And you’re just trying to put it off. Once you bite the bullet, it’ll all be fine, you’ll see.”
“Easy for you to say. You don’t have to face my mother. She’s going to be livid she wasted all that money on school fees.”
Joe doubted that would be the first thing her mother was going to think about but he let it drop as he finally pulled onto the Cheltenham slip road.
“Which way at the roundabout?”
“Left.”
He went right. “Cut it out, Lisa. Don’t go all sulky on me now.”
Joe’s heart sank when he heard the beginnings of a snuffle. He hated it when women cried. Always made him feel guilty, even if it wasn’t his fault. He tried to block out the sound but he could see her hunched miserably in the seat beside him. Jesus! Was this nightmare journey ever going to end?
“So, which way?” he prompted, as kindly as he could manage. “The truth, this time. If you don’t mind.”
“The station. Just follow the signs.”
“Why the station? What are you planning now?”
“I arranged to be picked up from the three o’clock train.”
“You’re not on the train,” he said through gritted teeth, starting to wish he could chuck her out and make her walk the rest of the way. “I said I’d take you all the way home.”
“No point. I don’t have a key to get in. It was in my purse when it was stolen. I’ll have to wait at the station until they get there.”
“You could call? Say you got an earlier train because of the weather? Use my phone, it’s right there in my pocket.”
“No thanks. Just drop me at the station and I’ll wait.”
It was just after one. He tried not to groan as he followed the signs to the station, weighing up what to do next. She wasn’t his problem and he was really tempted to drop her off and leave her there. But it didn’t take much to see the area was pretty grotty. It didn’t feel right to let her hang about alone for the best part of two hours.
And maybe he was being a bit hard on her. Must be a big deal for anyone at sixteen, telling your parents you’re pregnant. Worse if the boyfriend doesn’t want to know.
He took a deep breath. His heart was thudding. It felt like his nerves were being fed through a shredder. Was he just trying to make amends? Play a hero for Lisa because he hadn’t been there for Evie? The scenario was way too close to home.
But if he waited with her, his chances of getting to Cornwall tonight would be zero in this weather. Hard to believe it was half way through Tuesday and he still hadn’t got there.
“Well, I suppose I could do with a hot cup of tea,” he said reluctantly.
“I don’t want to hold you up.”
“A bit late to mention that now.”
He forced a smile. No point having a go at this late stage of their journey. And he’d already caught the flash of desperation in her eyes.
They went to a nearby pub and the girl who took his order did the usual hair-flick thing. And the leaning forward so he could look down her top thing. She was definitely up for it. He knew he definitely wasn’t. How many years had he wasted on ego trips like that? He wished he’d realised sooner that he had all he wanted at home.
The girl brought the food, taking her time to put the plates on the table. Almost stared him out to make sure he caught her drift.
“My ex-boyfriend supports Newcastle United. You’re him, aren’t you? That striker?”
“I wouldn’t mind his millions but not guilty, sorry.”
He turned his attention to the food and she went away disappointed, not sure if she believed him. Joe didn’t remember ever denying it before.
“Do girls always flirt with you like that?” Lisa asked. “You’re not him, are you?”
“Would a famous footballer really be here, in this grotty little pub? Anyway, he’s Italian isn’t he?”
“Don’t you ever pretend?”
“What would be the point of that?”
Not any more, anyway. He hoped he never felt like going there again.
Despite his frustration at being delayed yet again, it was actually a relief to be getting a break from driving in the rain. And he was hungry, he had to admit. The toasted sandwiches were tasty. Lisa wolfed hers down. Then wanted chocolate fudge cake.
“Not suffering from morning sickness, then?”
“Not so far. Did your wife have it bad?”
“It was a long time ago.”
He gulped at the last of his tea, wishing they’d never got onto that subject. He could hardly admit he wasn’t around for Evie’s first pregnancy. Nor the second, come to that.
“You look too sexy to be somebody’s dad. My baby won’t have a dad, thanks to that bastard, Simon.”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine without him. But you need to start thinking about what to say to your parents.”
“You could come with me? Be there when I tell them?”
“Oh, they
’d love that, wouldn’t they? They’d think it was mine.”
“I wish it was.”
“Sorry, Lisa. I can’t help you there.”
She sighed theatrically. But it didn’t hide the huge tears gathering in her eyes. She was clearly terrified. He truly hoped that Claire would never be that scared of telling him she had a problem.
“Do you know when you’re due?”
“Not exactly. I haven’t been to the doctor yet.”
“What? Tell me you did a test before you went traipsing half way across the country looking for the father?”
She bit her lip. “No, I just panicked as soon as I realised.”
Joe wanted to point out that the guy could have had his life turned upside down for nothing. But didn’t. None of his business, he reminded himself.
“Maybe you need to do that first, get it confirmed before you set any more cats amongst the pigeons.”
“I will,” she promised.
He was half expecting her to ask him to hang about while she peed on a stick. He couldn’t wait to get out of there. He glanced at his watch. Another half hour, max. Then he could wave goodbye and get on with his life.
He wondered if Evie was okay, down there on her own. He should’ve left earlier on Saturday instead of messing about. He hoped she hadn’t been leaving messages for him at home. She’d think he was avoiding her.
At long last, he drove into the station car park, trying not to count the minutes ticking by.
“I’ll never forget you, Joe. You’ve been fab.”
“You’re pretty fab yourself. Your baby will be very lucky to have you.”
A tear trickled down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb and kissed her. Just an affectionate peck. They’d shared a lot but he didn’t want to give her any more ideas. Lisa was clutching her portrait.
“I’m never going to part with this. And I’ll tell my baby all about how you helped me.”
“I think you helped me too. Helped me get a few things straight in my head. But you might want to roll that up and put it away in your backpack. Not that easy to explain how someone came to be drawing you in bed.”
She picked up her bag and opened the zip. “I wish you didn’t have to keep driving in this weather.”