Lost In The Darkness (The Lost and Found Series Book 1)

by K. L. Jessop

  “There’s been no word from your parents at all?” His voice is low.

  “No. Word has it my mother is dead and I never knew my father. I was never good enough as a son. As kids, we were never good enough. I’ve always assumed people like you, people with money, would judge me because I’ve never been in a position to take care of myself and will never have a substantial amount of wealth behind me. But then, I was lucky enough to meet your daughter, and she’s changed the way I think about everything.”

  He studies me for too long, and I can’t read a damn word from his eyes. I’ve jumped in too fast and fucked this up big time. He hates me, I know it. And who can fucking blame him?

  “Do you feel I’m judging you now?”

  “Honestly? Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m expecting this is the point you realised I can’t provide for Pepper or give her what she deserves. This’ll be the moment you tell me she needs a better man—a man who doesn’t have baggage or demons lurking in every corner.”

  He chuckles. “No human that walks this earth doesn’t have baggage, son.”

  If he’s trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.

  Stepping away from me, he lets out a heavy sigh and takes another mouthful of his drink before looking up at the night sky. “Dexter, please don’t feel that because of my wealth and your history that you’ll never be good enough for our daughter. We have money, yes, and so does Pepper, but it’s just money. Whoever said that money brings happiness was talking out of their arse. No amount of cash has made us happy since Persie died and no amount will ever bring her back. If her passing has taught us anything in life, it’s to hold onto the here and now before it’s too late, and right now, the sparkle in my daughter’s eye is more valuable than anything.”

  I swallow, wanting Pepper to be beside me right now because I’m unsure which way this is going to go.

  Turning suddenly, he straightens his back and looks at me head-on, his voice now more serious than ever before. “Answer me one question. Do you care for my daughter?”

  Like I never thought I would.

  “I didn’t at first. I was horrible to her in the hope she’d quit her job. I didn’t want her near me. But over time, Pepper’s made me realise what love is when I’ve felt nothing but alone. She’s making me believe that there is something in me to love when I never thought there was at all. I don’t just care for her: I love her more than life itself.”

  Stepping towards me, his face remains unreadable before a shit-eating grin spreads across his face. “Then that’s all that matters. In my eyes, you are good enough for my princess, Dexter,” he smiles, tapping me on the shoulder. “Welcome to the family, son.”

  “Thank you. That means more than you can imagine.” I let out a heavy exhale and my response must be noticeable because Andrew chuckles.

  “So it does work then?”

  I frown. “What?”

  “This talk that dads are supposed to do with their daughters’ partners. The look on your face told me you were shitting yourself.”

  “You mean all of that was a test?”

  He shrugs. “Not really. I did want to know where my daughter was in your heart, but I also knew it would be a way of getting you to talk, and now the tension has gone.”

  Sneaky fucker.

  “Oh man,” I chuckle, realising that even though everything is out in the open, I’ve also fallen into his damn trap. “Yes, the tension has gone. But now I feel you and Pepper will be a bad combination when you are together.”

  He laughs deeply, gripping my shoulder in a tight squeeze before moving towards the door. “Trust me, Dexter. You haven’t seen anything: Caroline hasn’t quizzed you yet. That woman will have you taped to the wall so tight the only thing you’ll be able to move is your mouth.”

  “Sounds like you’ve had plenty of experience?”

  “I only married her to shut her up.”

  I laugh out loud, entering the house and feeling more relaxed than I have all day. Not only have I been welcomed by her parents, I’ve been made to feel part of a family in such a short space of time, it’s overwhelming. But not in the way I was dreading.

  All this time I’ve looked at families as they’ve walked past me in the streets, judge them by what I didn’t know and grew hatred for others for having what I wanted—what I never got a chance to have. If tonight has taught me anything, it’s that it doesn’t matter how much you fight or how long you wait, your time comes eventually, and I believe that now is my time. The devil may awake again, but I know I’ve got people around me right now who actually want me in their lives and not me just being in theirs for the sake of it. I’ve got Pepper, I’ve got Emmet and although my heart is missing that final person, there’s enough love with those I have.

  However, there’s still this wedge of uncertainty that has laid heavy in my stomach all day, and not knowing what it is or why it’s there scares me.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Dexter

  “Okay, you ready?” I ask Pepper. We stand on the opposite side of the road to the building I want to show her. Her eyes are closed and I’m behind her with my arms around her waist. I hadn’t wanted her to see the artwork as we entered the top of the street, so I’ve made her walk blind, guiding her down.

  “You know what, I don’t think I am ready. I mean, I’ve only had my eyes closed for like five minutes.”

  “Less of the sarcasm, Blue.” I grin.

  I’ve finally got round to working on the commission for the beauty salon. I’d personally visited the salon to exchange ideas with the owners and fortunately, the idea I had in mind was exactly what they were after. I got working on it as soon as possible without Pepper knowing. She thinks I’ve been having longer therapy sessions because I need that extra support, but she’s about to find out that was a total lie. If she’d known what I was doing, she’d have wanted to come with me and watch.

  “Can I open them yet?”

  I squeeze her tight and rest my chin on her shoulder, excited for what she’s about to see. “Alright, open.”

  The second I hear her gasp my heart starts to race. I’ve been so eager to show her this from the moment it all started coming together. “I’ve not been having extra sessions with Dr Wyatt. I’ve been working on this.”

  “Dexter…” She squeezes my arm as she looks straight ahead, her mouth parted.

  Sprayed the full-length of the brick wall is a vibrant portrait of a dark-haired woman in front of a yellow and blue background. Her hair is swept over one side revealing her prominent collarbone and the bare skin of her shoulder. As her hair falls, a mixture of pink, purple and teal colours blend together and transform into feathers. Her face is contoured to give her the perfect shape, her lips are pouted a fraction but it’s her eyes that I enjoyed spray painting the most. The salon required something that was eye-catching and professional—it needed to represent women’s beauty. The only girl who came to my mind when I’d been thinking of that is the very one I’m holding.

  “Do you like it?”

  “Dexter, it’s... I’m speechless.”

  Other than the art of Tessa that’s on the outside of the gallery wall, this is the first piece of portrait work I’ve done for London to see. Pepper often mentions that more need to see the talent I have when it comes to my portraits, so this is a great way of getting my name out there.

  “Is that… me?” she whispers.

  I smile. It’s not often Pepper is speechless. “You are all I think of, all I need, and hold me up at times when I just want to fall. You live in my heart and I wanted everyone to know how beautiful you are. So I painted you.”

  My chest tightens when I notice her tear fall. “Do you not like it?”

  “I love it. I just didn’t expect it to be of me. And I wasn’t expecting you’d do anything like this either.”

  The number of people who have stopped to look at the wall since we’ve been here hopefully is an indication that I�
�ve done the job right. “You kept saying that people should see how diverse I am with my work.”

  She turns in my arms. “Because I saw something in you that you never wanted to believe was there. It’s a beautiful piece of art, Dexter, and I shouldn’t thank you because it’s not for me but I’m thanking you anyway for making it a part of me. I love it.”

  “And I love you.”

  I kiss her nose, and she rests her head on my chest, looking back towards the building as we stand in the street and escape from the rest of the world around us.

  For a long time, there had been a part of me that never showed any consideration towards others. There had been no acts of humanity ready to come out as I’d been so angry with the world and the way it had treated me, but Pepper has changed me, and seeing her happy in any way makes me feel so damn good I can’t even begin to understand it. Any tension still lurking has now gone. I’m open with her now about everything, even this unknown concern that has been with me since we were at her parents the other night. It still grips me when I least expect it and I’ve no idea why.

  I’ve wanted to speak with Emmet about it, too but he’s currently working every hour and I’ve not had a chance. So, instead, I’ve booked an extra session with Dr Wyatt to try and clear my head.

  “But I don’t like you for lying to me.” Her voice vibrates through my chest as I hold her.

  I chuckle, pulling back so she looks up at me. “Believe me, I’ve hated it, too, but I had to think of a reason why I was out of the gallery, and with Emmet at work, I didn’t have anything else. Therapy was my only excuse.”

  “Well, I guess I can forgive you this time, maybe.” Taking her camera out of her back pocket, she takes a few photos, no doubt to upload on the social media page and the website.

  “What would it take for you to forgive me?”

  “Buy me lunch. I want a box of macaroons.”

  I frown. “That’s hardly a substantial lunch. I told your mum you eat healthily, so I’d best get you a salad on the side.”

  “Ugh, don’t you start. The way you two were the other night, I’m surprised she hasn’t signed you up as her yoga partner already.”

  “Think of the flexibility, though.” I grin, wiggling my eyebrows.

  Linking my hand with Pepper’s, we head towards Camden to get her treats before heading back. Pepper now has a little spring in her step that makes me smile as her hair blows in the wind. She’s like fresh air and sunshine, even on a dull day.

  Turning to face me, her eyes widen as if she’s just remembered something and her face lights up like a child. “Oh, can we get a milkshake from that place on the corner.”

  “Care to elaborate which corner and what direction it’s in?”

  “Dexter, we spoke about this at breakfast. Did you not listen to a word I said?”

  I stop in my tracks, knowing damn well milkshakes had not been mentioned at breakfast this morning. “Pepper, darling, one can only listen to words when they are actually spoken.”

  She instantly let’s go of my hand and the look on her face—although playful—tells me she’s about to launch into a dispute as she folds her arms, looking at me with an attitude that only makes me want to fuck her. “Are you mocking me, Dexter?”

  I can tell she’s biting the inside of her cheek to try and stop herself from laughing. With each second she stands trying to remain confident, my own grin fights to break free. Fuck, I love this woman. Mirroring her pose, I lean forward. “Not mocking. One is just pointing out that the lady is wrong.”

  “I am not wrong. Women are never wrong.”

  Well, that’s bullshit.

  “Women believe they are not wrong. Men just agree that women are right for an easy life.”

  She gasps, her eyes widening with shock. “Are you saying you agree with everything I say just for an easy life?”

  I shrug. “Why are you asking me? Being a woman who’s always right, you should know. Or am I wrong?”

  “Answer my question.”

  “Answer it yourself. Because you’re likely to anyway.”

  I love these little playful moments we have, but I can’t stay here any longer because the way her eyes are running up and down me now will only lead to me pinning her against the wall and kissing the shit out of her, and as much as I would like to do that, I also know I won’t be able to stop with just a kiss because she’s so fucking intoxicating. In order to gain some space and keep this little debate flickering between us, I walk away, grinning like an idiot when I hear her gasp even louder than before.

  “Dexter Wilson, don’t you walk away from me. Get back here.”

  “Bye, Blue.”

  “Right, that’s it.” I can hear the humour in her voice as she tries not to laugh, but the next minute, I’m stopped in my tracks when something hits my shoulder. Looking down, I see Pepper’s purse at my feet.

  The little shit…

  Picking it up, I turn to face her. Her arms are still crossed, her hip is popped out as she rests her weight on one side but she has completely failed at keeping her composure as she’s laughing silently.

  “And that was because?” I grin.

  “You walked away.”

  “So you threw your purse at me?”

  “Isn’t karma a bitch.”

  Her reply takes all my words, and I burst out laughing as her own giggle finally erupts from her. Walking towards her, I hold her stare captive as she tries to regain her poise. Whatever thought had run through my mind about not kissing her can go fuck itself. I want that sassy mouth.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, sounding a little unsure through her laugh. When I get close enough, I grab the lapels of her jacket, push her against the wire fence and crash my mouth to hers, pressing my erection against her and kissing the absolute hell out of her so we both end up fighting for air.

  “Oh, wow,” she gasps, her eyes dreamy, “I should throw shit at you more often.”

  I chuckle. “Karma may be a bitch but she also creates the best results.”

  “Oh, yeah? And what result has she created?”

  “One that means you may have thought you won but has resulted in me about to take you home and fuck you senseless.”

  She frowns. “But that means we’ve both got something out of it.”

  “But it doesn’t mean that you were right to begin with.”

  I don’t even know what the fuck I’m talking about now and she knows it. She’s got me all kinds of crazy and I just want her pushed over the back of the sofa so I can have my wicked way with her.

  “Okay. We can do that,” she nods, pushing me back and stepping away, grinning as she walks backwards. “But if you want that, you first supply me with milkshakes and macaroons.”

  Fuck.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me?”

  “No lunch. No sex.”

  “Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to walk with a fucking hard-on?”

  “Oh, Karma really is a bitch today isn’t she?”

  “You, little...”

  She tries to bolt but I’m too quick. When I grab her arm, I spin her around and lift her over my shoulder in a fireman’s lift. Her scream of giggles bursts from her lungs as I head down the street, a shit-eating grin on my face.

  “Dexter, put me down. I’m showing my knickers.”

  “This karma’s getting out of hand don’t you think?”

  I slap her arse and she giggles louder. These playful times make up for all the shit ones I give her when I’m down. When I’m in my good state of mind, I want and try to do everything I can to keep her smiling because if I lose that, I’ve lost everything else.

  Damn this woman is wicked when it comes to sexual tension. I’d taken Pepper for lunch and also bought her some macaroons and a milkshake, and I’d insisted we took a taxi back to the gallery because I hadn’t been able to contain the sexual torture any longer.

  It hadn’t helped that with each bite of her lunch, she’d teased the shit out of
me and moaned, licking her lips and having me adjust my trousers because I was hard while we sat in a restaurant full of families. She’d known damn well what she was doing to me, and she’d felt the result of that when I’d pushed her over her desk and fucked her from behind before the gallery shutter had even hit the floor.

  “When did you know you loved me?” Pepper asks randomly, munching on her raspberry macaroon and feeding bits to me while she rests her back against my front. We are sitting on one of the huge beanbags I bought for the gallery.

  “Where did that come from?”

  “I’m just curious,” she shrugs. “So when did you know?”

  I’d known from our first kiss she would consume me. The night she’d crashed her scooter, I’d wanted to do anything I could to make her feel safe, but it had been the time we argued and I’d told her to leave that I’d realised how much I need her—how much I’d fallen for her. Back then I’d been fighting so many things in my head that telling her to go rather than admit my feelings had felt like an easy way out of everything. I hate it when I’m wrong and fight damn fucking hard to make sure I’m not, but the moment she’d slammed the door and my home had felt empty, my heart had told me there and then that I loved her.

  “The night I told you I didn’t feel the same and you left.”

  She looks up at me, “You knew then? And you still told me to go?”

  “Yeah. Digging my heels and pretending there was nothing between us was a battle in itself when I woke every morning thinking of nothing but you. I knew then.”

  She breaks off another piece of macaroon she’s just taken from the box beside us and feeds me it.

  “How about you?”

  “Around the same time—maybe a bit before.” She pauses. “Although, the second I first saw you I wanted to climb you like a tree.”

  I laugh out loud. “And now you do it most days.”

  “But you love it.”

  Reaching up, she cups the nape of my neck, moving me closer for a kiss. As much as I want to stay here all day and hold her, I’ve got commissions to finish. I’m past the point of working whenever the fuck I feel like it. I need to build this business like Emmett has been telling me to do for years.