Distorted Love

by T. L Smith

  “I dragged her.” Robert smiles at me. He knows. Barbie must tell him everything.

  “Still, I’ve tried to drag her here before but she’s never come,” Livia comments, taking pride in the way Stiles can get her to places.

  “Stiles invited me,” is all Barbie replies as she turns to watch the game.

  “That’s so cute. Look he’s coming this way,” Livia replies.

  Turning, I watch as he runs up the stairs to where we are. She stands, tucking her hands into the back pocket of her jean shorts as she faces him.

  “Wait for me to shower?” he asks. Saskia nods her head, a smile etched on her lips. He leans in and kisses her cheek. She drops her head, and a small smile appears on her face as she sits back down. When he walks off, he eyes me once before he runs off to shower.

  “Sass, he’s crazy for you. Everyone’s looking.”

  She doesn’t look, but I do. And she’s right. Absolutely everyone’s looking her way, trying to figure out who she is. It makes me mad. My fists clench and Livia places her hand on my shoulder.

  “Livia, did you hear about the girl who sold her virginity?” Robert asks Livia the same thing he previously spoke with me about.

  “Of course, it was news. I’m pretty sure it was on TV and everything.”

  “I’m thinking of doing it,” Barbie says.

  We all look at her after her random outburst.

  She shrugs her shoulders. “What? I have nothing to lose. It's only sex.”

  “No,” I state categorically, and everyone looks at me.

  Livia moves her hand from my shoulder.

  Robert’s mouth hangs open.

  But it’s Barbie who isn’t fazed by my words.

  “It isn’t for you to decide what I can and can’t do.” She reaches for her bag from the floor, stands and looks at Robert to join her.

  I stand blocking her so she can’t pass me. “Don’t be stupid.”

  She shakes her head at me.

  “Are you two friends now?” Livia asks behind me.

  I ignore her, but Barbie’s eyes skirt past me to Livia then back to me.

  “I’m not stupid! It’s my body, and I can choose who I give it to.” She pushes past me, looking down as she holds onto Robert’s hand and I hear him whisper to her, “You aren’t serious... are you?”

  I don’t hear her answer because when I turn around, I see Livia’s standing there watching me.

  “You like her! How the hell didn’t I see that before?”

  Shaking my head, I push past Livia and follow Barbie. I find her whispering to Robert just outside of the showers. Robert sees me approaching and takes a step back as I walk up to her.

  I touch her arm and turn her, but she pulls it free, tucking it behind her back. “Don’t do it.”

  “You have no right to tell me what to do.” She steps back. “I need the money. Some of us aren’t privileged and don’t come from money.”

  “I’ll give you money.”

  Saskia laughs at me. “You really are an entitled asshole.”

  “Company,” Robert whispers.

  I don’t turn, but she does.

  Stiles walks up to us, stopping to look at me before he slides his hand around Saskia’s waist. She smiles, stepping away, so his hand has no choice but to remove itself.

  “Goodbye, Ryken. Livia’s right behind you and wanting her date.” She turns to Stiles. “I’m off on mine.” Robert falls into step next to her as they all walk away.

  “Why do you care, Ryken?”

  Turning around, Livia is standing behind me. Did she hear it all?

  “It’s a stupid thing to do. The last girl who did it got murdered.” Another lie that falls from my lips but Livia believes me anyway.

  “And that’s the only reason? Because I can’t compete with her Ryken, not with Sass.”

  Stepping forward, my hand touches her chin. She’s worried, it makes me want to comfort her. The same way she did for me when I needed someone. Anyone.

  “Nothing to worry about.” At least I don’t think there is. Maybe. That’s a complete fucking lie. Saskia’s stuck under my skin, and I can’t escape her.

  “Can I come to your place? Maybe we can hang out?” Her hurt is gone, and it’s replaced now with seduction. She drags her hand up my stomach until she reaches my shoulder. “Or not. We could do other things.”

  My cell starts ringing just before I think about answering her. Quinn’s calling. What the fuck does he want? Pressing ignore, it starts again, instantly. Stepping back from Livia, I pull the cell up and press it to my ear.

  “What the fuck, Quinn? You want another beating?”

  “Your pretty little thing is on the internet. She was damn quick setting up that profile. She’s selling herself. Remember when he visited you, and your friend went missing?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Your father bought her to be sold to the highest bidder. Get her off the internet before he buys her.”

  “How the fuck did you find out?”

  “It’s my job to know all these things, Ryken, it’s why I’m second in command.”

  “Can’t you block the site from him?” I ask, walking away, completely forgetting about Livia.

  “For maybe a day before he realizes. He’s not stupid!”

  “Fuck.” Hanging up, I wonder how the fuck she got that shit up there so fast.

  “Is Robert good with computers?”

  Livia nods her head. “He’s the best. Computer companies are screaming for him.”

  Pulling out my cell, I send a message to Cane telling him I’m leaving.

  I need to buy myself a virgin.

  CONFESSION #3

  “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been a few weeks since my last confession.”

  My eyes close and I think of how mad I am right now. How the blood is flowing so fast through my veins that I want to hurt someone.

  “I’ve decided I need to bide my time. Work up to what I must do. Don’t you agree, Father? I mean, I can’t have everything at just the snap of my fingers. Killing isn’t a sport, it’s a lifestyle you must master.”

  The priest coughs. The door to his confessional clicks, and I know he’s waiting for me to continue speaking.

  But as I sit here, I try to decipher a plan.

  With hands or a gun, which would be the best weapon?

  Pulling my hoodie up to cover my face, I step out and make a quick exit before the priest can say anything at all, before his absolution.

  Chapter 12

  Saskia

  “Are you sure?” Robert asks.

  I nod my head, and he snaps a photo of me. I don’t smile, but that doesn’t matter. Within seconds, Robert passes me his cell phone and turns to put his things in his car while I look at it.

  I’m up for auction.

  My virginity is up for auction.

  If I could raise even half of what the other girl received it could change my life. Honestly, I could start up my own business. Do something, instead of living with my mother. Buy a car, perhaps. Most people my age have a car, and I want one. Even if I can’t drive, yet.

  “Are you ready?” Stiles is now standing next to me, looking from me to Robert.

  “Can we reschedule? I had plans with Robert that I forgot about.”

  Robert pinches me, but I don’t move as Stiles’ face drops. The game was a big step for me. I didn’t even want to come until he cornered me with Robert, who agreed for the both of us.

  “Can I have your number?” I don’t know why he asked that, I never have my cell on me. I usually keep it hidden in my mattress. I rattle the number off to him then he leans in again, and does that thing that he likes to do. He kisses my cheek, but when he does, he takes a deep intake of breath, breathing me in before he pulls away and walks to his car.

  Turning to Robert’s car as Stiles pulls away.

  “Holy shit, Sass...” He passes me his cell. My name and the set bid amount under it is way too high. There�
�s no way I will get that much.

  “Why that high, Robert? Who’d pay that much? We have to adjust it.” Handing the cell back to him when we get in the car, he laughs.

  “I didn’t put that amount in there, Sas. Someone has already bid that much for you.”

  My eyes bulge from my head. “How?”

  Robert shakes his head. “It’s more than you expected. Should I mark you as sold?” He looks down to his cell phone. “Name is Confident, and it’s two hundred thousand dollars. It’s a lot of money,” he says, passing the cell phone back to me. Looking down as he starts to drive, it vibrates in my hand, then again.

  “Ummm, I think it just went up.”

  “What? No way. How much?”

  “It says three hundred thousand now.” My eyes don’t believe what they’re seeing. I’ve never seen that much money in my life. And someone wants to pay me that much for what? What’s between my legs? Shit. “I’m accepting it. I can’t expect to get higher than that. Can I?”

  Robert shakes his head. “Give it another five minutes, Sas. What can it hurt?”

  “I’m not worth that much, though.”

  “Bullshit! You’re worth way more than that,” he says excitedly, pulling the car over to a stop.

  The cell phone dings again in my hand.

  “A hundred thousand more...” I say showing him the cell. “I’m stopping it. That’s almost half a million, Robert. Who has that much money to waste? They could feed and house so many homeless people. Pay for their kid’s medical bills. There’s so much that someone could do with that amount of money.”

  “What do you plan to do with it?” I sit back in the seat as he starts driving to his house. “The money I mean, obviously not your virginity.”

  “I want to start a business... something I love. And buy myself a car. Then I guess I’ll donate the rest.”

  Robert nods his head. “You could be selfish and use it all on yourself.”

  “How do I stop it?”

  “Are you sure you really want to do that, Sass? This could mean so much for you. And you are worth more. You’re worth every penny someone would pay for you. Trust me.”

  I shake my head at him. “No. Taking that much money feels wrong on so many levels.”

  “Take your morals and your attitude about yourself just for this once, and throw them out the window. Trust me when I say you’re worth way more than you think you are. Hell, if I didn’t bat for the other team you’d be it, baby cakes.”

  “I want to stop it, Robert. Please,” I beg.

  He pulls up out front of his house and grabs the cell from me. Presses a few buttons then looks up at me.

  “You have a date with Mr. Confident. Who will deposit the money into your account tomorrow.” He’s all bouncy with excitement, unlike me whose stomach is swarming with butterflies.

  “Fuck.”

  “I know, right?” He gets out of the car leaving me sitting there, and comes around to open the door. “Now you don’t have to live with her anymore.” He knows all about my mother, seen all the hand-me-downs that Livia gives me and how she helps me live.

  “Not until I graduate, I can’t be stupid about it.”

  He shakes his head at me. “I told you, you can live here. My parents adore you. Probably more than me.” He chuckles.

  “You have great parents, you should think yourself very lucky.”

  “Sorry, Sass, I didn’t think.”

  “You don’t have to. You know I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me, least of all you.” His cell dings as he opens the door and his mother envelops me in a hug, smothering me to her chest. She gives the best hugs, and she’s one of the only women I let hug me the way she does. Not even Livia cuddles me for long, it’s usually just a tap cuddle.

  “I’ve missed you, Saskia. Robert’s been so annoying without you here,” she jokes, pulling away as Robert tugs me away to his room and shuts the door.

  “Tomorrow. He wants to meet tomorrow night, Sass.”

  Tomorrow night? Tomorrow night I’ll be losing my virginity. Fuck!

  MY NERVES ARE SHOT, completely fucked. I’ve pulled everything I own out of my closet, and even though now I have almost half a million dollars in my bank to buy new clothes, I can’t seem to bring myself to do that either. I’ve talked myself out of it, at least fifty times today, then talked myself back into it.

  Deciding on a dress that Livia gave me, I get to the hotel that was requested. It’s a flashy one, that’s for sure. I’ve never been in or even wanted to step up to the front doors. It’s not something I’ve ever been able to afford. Well, I could afford it now, I guess. My only hope is that the man isn’t very old, and definitely not creepy. But then again, he probably is if he’s willing to spend that much on my virginity. For one night of something that I’ll never want to do again.

  Livia warned me it’s painful, so I’m not particularly looking forward to it.

  The room number and instructions were left at the front desk. Taking the elevator up, my hands become wet, like I’ve dipped them into water and forgot to dry them.

  Stepping off the elevator, I shuffle down the hall until the door number comes into view.

  My heart takes off.

  My head tells me to run.

  But somehow my hand manages to knock, knowing what’s to come after this one night. This one night of pain.

  FREEDOM.

  Ryken.

  My eyes go wide when I look behind him at the door number. This is it. I’m correct. This is the door number I was given. Why’s he standing in front of me?

  “Come in.”

  “You...”

  He smirks at me. “Me,” he replies.

  “You paid for me?”

  Ryken nods his head and steps back so I can step into the room. “I did, but let’s talk about this inside, shall we?”

  Stepping in, he shuts the door behind me. My legs want to give way, and my head is telling me to run as fast as I can to get away from him. Because I know I’d give my virginity to him willingly. I tried last time, but he pushed me away.

  “If you knew, does that mean everyone will know what I did?”

  He shakes his head at my words. “No. I have a lot more connections than the normal student would, trust me,” he replies with far more confidence than I have.

  My nerves are shot, I still can’t believe it was him.

  “How do you have so much money?”

  He sits down on the white sofa in the room. I sit opposite him, my leg bouncing up and down with nervousness.

  “Money isn’t an issue, Barbie. I’ve told you that already.”

  “Oh, that’s right. Rich family.” He lifts a glass to his mouth, then holds it in his hand swirling the brown liquid around, the ice cubes clanging against the sides. “So you paid for me.”

  “I did.”

  “No refund?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “No. No refund. The money is yours to do with as you please. But tonight, you’re all mine.”

  “How did you know?”

  Ryken smirks at me. “We’re very well connected.”

  I shake my head, my hands run down my legs. “You said that already.”

  “Stop that! No fidgeting tonight, Barbie.”

  “What about Livia?”

  He shrugs, his eyes dark. “What about her?”

  “You plan to cheat on her? With me?”

  He shakes his head. “We aren’t a couple, and you shouldn’t be concerned with my life outside of this room right now. It’s not what I’m paying you for.” The way he says it makes me feel dirty. Cheap. Like this is wrong. So very wrong.

  But I can’t back out now. Can I?

  “You’re right. How do you want to do this?”

  His cell starts ringing. Ryken looks to it then slides it onto the table looking back to me.

  “Maybe start off slow. Don’t you think? I’ve never been with a virgin before.”

  His words make me blush. “Does that bother you?
I wouldn’t think it would, considering you paid for it.”

  Ryken doesn’t move or blink as he watches me. My hands start to move again, but I desperately attempt to stop myself before he can say anything. I can feel my skin heating up, and the redness on my skin is shining through. And nothing I can do will stop it.

  “Do I make you nervous, Barbie?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you want to have sex with me, Barbie?”

  I answer him honestly, “Yes.”

  He smirks at my words. “I thought so.” He stands, stepping near me. His hand drops and he keeps it open, offering it to me.

  I take it because despite what’s happening, how I ended up in this position, I’m glad it’s him. I wanted it to be him, anyway. Tonight, I’m going to lose my virginity to a man that paid for it. He could have taken it freely. I know I would have given it to him freely. I tried, but he turned me down.

  Pulling me into a large room, I spot the bed. It’s all white—sheets, duvet, pillows—and I think about what Livia told me.

  The blood!

  Is white the smartest choice?

  Possibly not.

  “Last chance to back out, Barbie.” He stops in the room, dropping my hand from his. The way he looks at me evokes one thing in me—desire. And it’s pure and it’s for him, and only him.

  Why he makes me feel this way, and no others can is beyond me.

  Stiles kisses my cheek, and I get nothing. No butterflies or need to grab him for more. A simple glance from Ryken and I’m putty in his fucking hands. He makes me malleable, compliant and submissive all with one look.

  “You get what you paid for.”

  He shakes his head. “Don’t play that game. Right now isn’t about the money. You feel it as much as I do. The room’s buzzing with it. Electricity is bouncing off of both of us and zipping around the room.”

  Dropping my bag to the floor, I reach for my dress buttons.

  “This doesn’t change us, Barbie. Once this night is over, you must grasp the fact that we’re not a thing. Do you understand that?”

  I laugh at his words. “Do you think I’m that childish? I fucking know you bought me, Ryken. This...” I throw my hand around between us, “... isn’t leaving this room. I actually plan to never speak to you again.”