Accidentally in Love

by Laura Drewry

  “Ellie, please, don’t you think it’s about time you got over what happened between you and your father?”

  “No, actually, I don’t.” Ellie waved Gail toward the armchair in the living room before taking the far end of the couch. “He left me sitting in jail on drug charges when he knew damn well I was innocent!”

  Gail rolled her mug slowly between her palms. “You know why he couldn’t take your case. Even if he was a criminal defense attorney, being your father would have made him too emotionally attached to be able to present an objective case.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Elleanor Grace!”

  “I’m sorry, but that’s what it is. He’s a partner with Torbin, Stewart & Lye, for crying out loud, so even if he wouldn’t help me, surely he could have asked someone from the firm to represent me, but did he? No.”

  “Honey, you were living with a drug dealer, and with all those charges against you, try to imagine how difficult it was for your father at work.”

  “Difficult for him? It wasn’t about him! And for the ten billionth time, I didn’t know Kurt was a dealer!” Ellie dropped her head against the cushion and groaned long and loud before forcing herself to look back at her mother. “He ran that garage with his brother; they fixed cars, Mom. It wasn’t like they had a giant neon sign hanging outside flashing, ‘Heroin Sold Here.’ I mean, God, you knew him—did you ever suspect anything?”

  “No,” Gail sighed. “No, I didn’t.”

  Up until the day five years ago when the cops showed up at her door, Ellie hadn’t suspected a thing, either. Was it odd that Kurt left the room every time his cellphone rang? Sure, but he’d said it was because ambient noises made it difficult for him to hear on his phone. Was it odd that so many customers at the garage seemed to pay their bills in cash? Maybe, but Ellie worked retail, where most transactions were done on credit, so it seemed unusual to her when anyone paid cash.

  It was easy to see through these things now, but then…she’d had no reason to suspect anything was wrong. Just like she’d had no reason to suspect Kurt’s quirks were anything more than that. He’d always had a bit of a jealous streak, something they’d both laughed about, and by the time they’d moved in together, he’d already told her a couple of times that they’d be together forever. It seemed sweet back then, but once he was released on bail and started stalking her, she realized he hadn’t meant it in the loving way she’d thought.

  “Let’s not do this,” Ellie said, huffing out a breath. Sitting cross-legged, she met Gail’s unwavering stare with one of her own. “Tell me what happened with you and Buck.”

  Gail and Buck had always presented a united front on everything from family decisions to discipline to curfews and rules for dating. They had each other’s backs in all things, regardless of how big or small, and no matter how much anger Ellie held for her father, she had to give them both credit for that. So for Gail to leave him, it had to be something big.

  “Your dad and I love you and Gabbie more than anything in the whole world. I know it’s hard for you to believe that after what’s happened between you and him, but it’s true. You should hear the way he talks about you to his friends. He’s so proud—”

  “Mom.”

  Gail nodded a little guiltily before focusing back on the actual topic at hand. “Maybe this should wait until you get home from practice. I don’t want—”

  “Mom.”

  It took a few seconds, but eventually Gail sighed, her words starting slowly, barely more than a whisper, as though she was trying to make them easier to say. Or hear.

  “You know I didn’t have the best life growing up.” Gail’s expression clouded and chilled. “I swore if I ever had kids, I’d make damn good and sure they never had to live like that. I’d do whatever it took to make sure my children grew up with both parents, that they were fed, clothed, and had a safe place to live.”

  “And you did. We had all that, Mom, but what does that have to do with this?”

  Gail’s lips pursed tight for a second before she spoke again.

  “I was a high school graduate working two minimum-wage jobs when I met Buck. He was cute and funny and was always so nice to me. He had a way about him, you know, and I knew from the first time I talked to him that he was the kind of man who’d take care of his family. He was on his way up in the firm and needed someone to stand with him, to help him present himself as a good, solid family man. Sounds silly now, but back in the day, having a family meant a man was dependable and trustworthy, and it was those men who moved up faster.”

  Ellie didn’t respond, mainly because anything she had to say about Buck was only going to be rude and self-serving and this wasn’t about her. It was about her mom.

  “We got along so well,” Gail went on, sinking back in her chair and tucking her feet up beside her. “We both wanted the same thing, and we both knew we could help each other get it, and, well, I loved him so much I believed that would be enough, that it didn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same way, so…” She shrugged. “It made sense.”

  “What made sense?” Ellie croaked. “What are you telling me here, Mom? You married Buck knowing he wasn’t in love with you?”

  “Yes, but just listen before you say anything else. There are a few things I’d change about the last thirty-five years, but marrying your father wouldn’t be one of them. Think about all the kids you grew up with, Ellie. How many of those families stayed together?”

  She didn’t wait for Ellie to answer.

  “Not many, and I’d be willing to bet that probably had a lot to do with the fact that the parents didn’t really want the same things, and if they did, they weren’t willing to do whatever it took to get them. I loved Buck, and together we were determined to make it work. You didn’t hear us fighting over whose turn it was to drive you to ball practice, who did more around the house, or where the money went every month; we were a team. What benefited one, benefited all.”

  Oddly enough, Gail was right. Ellie couldn’t remember a time when her parents fought; they discussed, they debated, but they never fought.

  Conversely, how often did Buck ever get mushy with Gail? It wasn’t unusual to see Gail touch him or kiss him, and Buck kissed her goodbye every morning, but it was always a peck on the cheek. On those rare occasions when he did kiss her on the mouth, it was little more than a brush. They laughed, they talked about everything, and they obviously enjoyed each other’s company, so it had never occurred to Ellie that there was anything wrong.

  “I’m sorry.” As she ran her finger along the edge of her mug, Gail’s face blanched under the strain of what she was saying. “I know this sounds crazy, and I’m sure you have questions, but just listen first, okay?”

  What else could she do? It wasn’t like she could form a coherent thought at the moment.

  “Buck’s a good man, Ellie, and we make a hell of a good team.” Gail shifted in her chair and licked her lips. “And I know you’re going to want to blame him, but none of this is his fault. I knew what I was doing, and he never pretended to feel anything more than he did. He was honest and faithful, and that was more than I’d ever seen my mother have.”

  Ellie set her mug on the table and pressed her hands over her face. This couldn’t be real. Her parents had always been Buck ’n’ Gail, a single unit, not Buck and Gail, two separate people.

  As that ridiculous thought slid through her mind, she suddenly realized just how stupid it was, how much she’d taken her parents for granted her whole life, assuming they were both happy and fulfilled in their lives. In her own defense, though, how was she supposed to think anything else when neither of them had ever let on that anything was wrong? They’d let her and Gabbie live their lives believing that their parents were happy.

  They’d lied.

  Tucking her knees up under her chin, Ellie wrapped her arms around them and held on as tight as she could. “So why leave now?”

  Defeat. It was a look she’d never seen cross her mother
’s face until that moment, and it took Gail a couple of seconds to blink past it.

  “Because all these years, I kept hoping things would change, kept believing he would come to love me the way I loved him.” She dug a tissue out of her pocket (never went anywhere without one) and blew her nose hard. “Part of me thinks he does, but he’s never had to show it, never had to express it, so he doesn’t, and we just keep on going the way we always have.”

  “Mom.” Ellie’s eyes burned, her throat thickened, and her jaw quivered. “I’m just…I can’t…I don’t even know what to say.”

  “There’s nothing to say, sweetie.” Gail balled up the tissue and pulled out another one. “I just can’t do it anymore.”

  “All these years…” Dashing the back of her hand across her eyes, Ellie swallowed hard. “What does Buck think about all this?”

  A sound ripped from her mom’s throat, somewhere between a painful choke and a laugh.

  “That poor man doesn’t know whether to shit or go blind, so I’m still holding out a shred of hope that a little time apart will make him see me differently—”

  “Hold on.” Ellie closed her eyes and shook her head before tipping a look at her mother. “You’re playing hard to get? Is that what this is about?”

  “No. Maybe.” For the first time since she’d arrived, Gail’s eyes flooded with tears and a wave of guilt washed over her face as though she didn’t have the right to want more, as though she didn’t deserve it. Seeing that on her mother’s face sliced a long, thick gash through Ellie’s heart. “Is that so wrong? Is it wrong to want my husband to look at me like I’m the most beautiful thing in the world? Is it wrong to want to be kissed like…like…I’m a woman, not just a wife?”

  “No,” Ellie finally whispered. “Of course it’s not wrong.”

  “You think I’m ridiculous, don’t you? I’m almost sixty years old, for goodness sake, I should be happy with what I have.”

  “You’re only fifty-seven,” Ellie corrected. “And the only thing I find ridiculous about all of this is that we’ve all been living this lie for so long. I had no idea you were unhappy.”

  “Now, wait just a second. I was never unhappy,” Gail said, laughing lightly at the irony of her words as she mopped the last tear from her cheek. “Buck and I were blessed with the two most beautiful children in the world, we had a roof over our heads, and we never wanted for much, so don’t you think for one second I was ever unhappy. I wasn’t. My only regret is that I was never able to make him love me the way I love him.”

  Ellie was off her seat in an instant, trying to squeeze onto the chair beside her mom. There wasn’t room, so she did what she’d always done as a little girl: she curled up on Gail’s lap and tucked her face against her mom’s neck. Gail’s arms circled her like they always had, and they just sat like that for a long time, Ellie breathing in the familiar and comforting scent of Chanel and Gail smoothing her hand up and down Ellie’s back.

  “What can I do?” Ellie finally managed. “I mean besides finding you some farmers’ market honey, what else can I do? What do you need?”

  “Well,” Gail drawled, resting her chin on Ellie’s head. “You can let me stay here for a while, until I know for sure what’s going to happen with Buck.”

  “Of course.” Ellie pulled back far enough so that she could see Gail’s face. “On one condition.”

  When Gail raised an eyebrow in question, Ellie raised one right back. “Leave my deck furniture alone.”

  A small smile passed between them before Gail tightened her arms around Ellie, then kissed the top of her head and grinned down at her.

  “Go get your stuff or you’ll be late for practice.”

  “Mom,” Ellie groaned, dragging the word out. “Will you forget about practice—it’s the first one; no one cares if I’m there or not.”

  “I care.” When Ellie made no move to stand up, Gail nudged her off her lap, then pushed out of the chair and lifted her suitcase, a feat that took both hands and involved a soft grunt. “Tell me where I can sleep tonight and point me toward the shower so I can scrub some of the airplane and bus stink off. We’ll talk some more when you get home.”

  With a lift of her brow, she motioned toward the clock on the wall. Ten till six.

  “Better get a wiggle on,” Gail said, smiling softly. “If memory serves, last one in buys the beer.”

  Chapter 3

  “It only takes an extra second to be courteous.”

  —Constable Benton Fraser, Due South

  Brett got to the field early and pulled his truck in beside Nick’s, barely closing the door before Nick tossed one of the bases at him. After catching it in midstride, Brett left his glove inside the dugout and followed Nick to the baseline.

  “Heard you were making friends with Ellie again today.” Nick snorted out a laugh and shook his head as he walked the measuring tape down the line. “If I were you, I’d keep an eye out for a ball to the back of the head tonight.”

  Brett just shrugged. What happened while he was on shift was nobody’s business. He wouldn’t talk about Ellie and her driving record any more than he’d talk about the domestic call he’d been coming from when he pulled her over.

  After Nick measured out the distance from first, Brett dropped second base into place, took the hammer from Nick, and pounded the stake through the loop.

  “You don’t think this’ll cause problems with the team, do you?”

  “Nah, it’ll be fine.” Nick was already heading over to third, chuckling as he walked. “She’s— Hey, look who’s here.”

  Nick’s cousin, Carter, came strolling onto the diamond, his arm wrapped around Regan’s shoulders, a deep blush covering her face, a huge grin covering his, and both looking a little disheveled.

  “God’s sake, you two.” Ellie’s friend Maya pushed through the gate behind them, shaking her blond head. “Can’t you even go five minutes without groping each other?”

  “Red just can’t seem to keep her hands off me.” Pulling Regan in closer, Carter kissed the side of her head and laughed. “Not that I’m complaining.”

  The rest of the team wandered onto the field, but there was no sign of Ellie. Maybe she’d decided not to—

  There she was.

  Dressed in tight black baseball pants and a gray T-shirt with navy sleeves, she raced up to the field on a black mountain bike. While it was still in motion, she jumped off and left it standing against the bleachers, her helmet dangling from the handlebar.

  It amazed him, as it did every time he saw her, how good she looked in everything she wore. Hell, she could make a burlap sack look like something out of a Victoria’s Secret catalog.

  He didn’t let his gaze linger very long. He never did, never needed to, because he already had the image memorized. And besides, Jayne broke the spell the second she saw Ellie arrive and ran in her direction.

  Their voices followed him out to the field, but thankfully not a single word was mentioned about her license mishap. Instead, if what he was hearing was right, it sounded like Ellie had unexpected company. Male company or female company? Not that it was any of his business.

  A “she.” Hmmm. Her sister, maybe? Wait…no…her mother.

  Unexpected visits from parents usually meant one of two things: something was wrong or something was about to be wrong.

  “Okay,” Nick called out, lifting his gloved hand toward the darkening clouds. “Let’s get going before the rain starts again. Quick warm-up, then let’s have Carter pitching, Jayne catching, Ellie first, Leon second, Brett short, Delmar third, Maya right, Martin center, Kyle roving, and I’ll take left. The rest can bat. Oh, and Ellie—you’re down for the first case of beer.”

  Brett jogged over to his position, pulled his cap down a little, and took stock of the players around him. Leon and Delmar looked relaxed on their bases, no question they’d played before, but there was no way Ellie was going to be able to play first properly with that stiff new glove and those shiny new cleats.
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  He knew she’d played a little before, and she might look the part, especially after she tucked her long hair through the back of that faded blue ball cap. Looking the part, however, was a whole lot different from actually being able to play the position, and first base was crucial for a winning team, beer league or not.

  Carter took the mound and tossed a slow looping pitch a good six inches outside.

  “What’s the problem, Sparky?” Regan taunted. “Did I wear you out back there behind the dugout?”

  Catcalls followed, from both the field and the rest of the players waiting to bat, until Carter laughed and tossed another pitch, this one a perfect shot over the top corner of the plate. Stepping into it, Regan cracked a hard fast grounder between Brett and second base. Diving left, and with more luck than he cared to admit, he managed to get his glove on it, but had to spin before he could fire it to first.

  His throw was off, too low and too short, yet somehow Ellie managed to stretch impossibly far and snapped it up just before Regan’s foot hit the base.

  While the rest of the team cheered, Brett waited for Ellie to look at him so he could give her a nod of both appreciation and apology, only she never even glanced his way. In fact, she didn’t acknowledge any of the cheering, just laughed at whatever Regan said on her way back to the dugout.

  They rotated positions until everyone got time at the plate and as Nick cranked a liner to left field, the rain finally started and sent everyone running for the dugout. Everyone except Brett and Ellie, who remained at their positions, watching the rest of the team take cover.

  “Oh, come on,” Ellie cried from out in right field. “It’s just a little rain!”

  With a sigh Brett could hear across the diamond, she shook her head and started off the field, heading straight past where he stood near the on-deck circle.

  “Ellie?”

  She took another couple of steps before stopping and turning to face him.

  A thick smudge of dirt ran from the side of her nose down her cheek, and it only got worse when she scraped her forearm across her mouth. Brett punched his free hand in the pocket of his glove and cleared his throat.