Sidekick Returns

by Auralee Wallace

  Bart slumped onto the bench. Yeah, he wasn’t going to be much help. He was right, though. It probably wasn’t a bad idea for me to get suited up. I needed to be prepared for anything—like staying dry, after I pulled the fire alarms. I swung the door to the washroom open and stepped into the bright fluorescent lighting.

  Suddenly I froze. I had walked into the bathroom only to be confronted with … my reflection.

  A mirror. A full-length mirror stood in front of me.

  I already knew the dress was beautiful, but seeing it on was incredible. I stepped closer to the mirror, holding up the skirt. Queenie had tailored the fitted bodice perfectly, and the draping of the skirt was—

  I brought one shaky hand up to my face.

  Queenie hadn’t made this from the Elvis jumpsuit. Maybe she had taken some of the beading, but otherwise this dress was entirely original. She had used her money, or whatever resources she had for me … for me to have a second chance with Pierce. And I hadn’t seen it … not really. It kind of begged the question …

  What else wasn’t I seeing?

  My eyes moved up to my glittering face masked with the whisper-sheer veil over the eyes. I met my own reflection, and it was like I was meeting a complete stranger. I gave my head a shake and moved to a stall to change into my sidekick gear. I had to get a hold of myself. A superhero couldn’t be going around having bizarre out-of-body experiences. I needed to get my head in the game.

  When I was done, I stepped out and once again looked in the mirror at what was supposed to be … The Sidekick. I loved this suit. I had always loved this suit, but … but it was a joke. I didn’t belong it in. I was playing dress-up. I— The horrible feelings I’d felt on the stairs churned once again in my stomach. The overwhelming fear. Confusion. Self-doubt. It was happening again. I quickly moved to the sink and turned on the cold water, splashing some on my neck before I stalked out of the bathroom. No. No. I could do this. Bart was right. I needed to be brave, and do the hard thing. I couldn’t let my father get to me. I was in control. Nobody would get hurt tonight. I was going to pull the fire alarm, and—

  ‘Bart!’ I shouted. ‘Don’t you dare leap for that pterodactyl!’

  Chapter 28

  My eyes widened to take in all the horror. Bart was sitting on the railing, his feet swung over to the drop side. The wood plank was thick enough to sit on—kind of like a balance beam—but definitely not meant to be sat upon. Bart had one hand gripping to edge of the wood for support, and the other … the other was reaching up towards the skeleton of a pterodactyl suspended from the ceiling.

  ‘Bart!’ I yelled again. ‘What the hell are you doing? Get down!’

  He ignored me.

  I scurried over as quickly as I thought I could without startling him. As I neared, he mumbled, ‘Don’t touch me. You’ll break my concentration.’

  ‘You mean to tell me you’re actually thinking right now?’ I asked, carefully reaching towards him. ‘‘Cause it really doesn’t look that way.’

  ‘I can almost see them,’ he muttered, straining out an inch further.

  ‘See who?’

  ‘They’re over there somewhere,’ he said, pointing and wobbling a little. ‘I saw him touch her lower back, Bremy.’

  ‘Oh Bart.’ I shook my head. ‘You need to get down now. You’re going to get yourself killed.’

  ‘Never! I’m a youngish man who has been drinking. I am invincible! Every instinct tells me so.’ His words were strong, but his voice sounded dejected. He dropped his floating hand to his side. ‘I’ll get down.’

  I moved to help him, but he slumped his shoulders, resting on the wrong side of the railing again. ‘Bremy, I’m going to share something with you. Something that you should probably never bring up again once I’m sober.’ He paused. ‘I wasn’t always good with the ladies.’

  I snorted. Bart shot me a death glare. ‘Sorry,’ I said, resuming my serious face. ‘Continue.’

  ‘But I crafted my skill and went places that none of my kind have gone before.’ He shook his head, and I shot out my hands to steady him, just in case. ‘But then I let her in, and now I don’t know who I am. Who am I, Bremy?’

  I sighed. ‘That seems to be the question of the night.’

  ‘No, really, I want to know.’

  My eyes darted to the crowd below. ‘Um …’

  ‘Exactly,’ he said, sadly. ‘You don’t even know the answer.’

  ‘Well, actually, see all those security guards over there, running up the stairs?’

  His eyes flashed over to the stairwell.

  ‘I think you’re the guy they’re coming for.’

  ‘Uh-oh.’

  I nodded.

  ‘You know what this means, right?’

  I squinted my eyes. ‘Um, no.’

  ‘Time to build up your legend!’ Bart leapt up on the railing, reaching one hand towards the ceiling of this level, the floor of the next, to balance himself. ‘Everybody stay back! Or I’ll jump!’

  Chapter 29

  ‘I, Crime Mime, evil mastermind behind all of the city’s unsolved acts of villainy,’ he began in a booming theatre voice, ‘have been thwarted for the last time by The Sidekick!’

  The guards skidded to a stop at the top of the stairs, stumbling into one another.

  ‘Bart,’ I said, without moving my lips. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘I can no longer take this constant defeat!’

  I clutched the sides of my face. ‘Oh God, I never should have taken you away from your computers. That was your safe place.’

  ‘It is time for me to end it all!’ he shouted, before looking down and whispering to me, ‘Now you do something heroic.’

  ‘Like what?’ I asked through gritted teeth.

  ‘Say something inspiring! Talk me down.’

  I looked over the railing to the bottom floor. Yup, we had everyone’s attention now. ‘Um, okay,’ I muttered. Then I cleared my throat and boomed, ‘Life is precious, Crime Mime! Even one as a despicable as yours!’

  ‘Seriously?’ Bart whispered, looking especially judgmental with his mime eyebrows. ‘You think that’s going to get me off this ledge?’

  ‘You are never drinking again!’ I spat in a whisper. ‘Okay, um …’ I glanced over my shoulder at the security team. They looked … confused. I spun back around. Didn’t need that pressure. ‘It’s not too late to turn your life around! Do your time … Crime Mime … and then make something good from all that you have, um, done wrong. It’s … it’s a sign!’

  Bart started nodding up and down, but then quickly switched to side to side. ‘That was—’

  ‘I know.’ I closed my eyes. ‘You don’t have to say it. Just get down.’

  ‘Never! I will n—’

  ‘Seriously.’ I rolled my hand. ‘Just get down.’ Bart carefully shuffled his feet to turn back towards safety.

  I looked over to the security guards. ‘We’re leaving. Sorry for the disturbance.’

  I reached for Bart, who seemed unsure about the best way to get down. Getting up must have been easier. I rubbed my forehead. Suddenly, a din started up below. I barely had time to think, What now? before the—

  BOOM!

  Chapter 30

  ‘Bart!’

  I lunged for the leotarded belly of my friend as his arms pin-wheeled wildly, but I couldn’t get a handhold.

  ‘No!’ Oh God, he was going to fall! ‘Jump Bart! Jump for the pterodactyl!’

  Bart twisted at the waist and pushed off, hands reaching for the suspended bones dangling from the wires anchored to the ceiling.

  I slapped my palms over my face, but through my fingers I could see Bart’s form sailing through the air, fingers outstretched. No! He wasn’t going to make—

  Got it! He got it! I clutched my chest as I saw Bart’s hand wrap around the collarbone of the suspended dinosaur, the rest of him swinging below.

  ‘Bremy! Help!’

  ‘Grab my hand!’

  He reached towa
rds me, fingertips straining while the other hand stayed gripped to the bone. ‘I can’t reach you.’

  I heard people screaming below, but I didn’t think those shouts were for us. At some level, I registered smoke, and a flash of light, but none of that mattered right now.

  ‘Bart!’ I stretched up on my tippy-toes and leaned further out over the drop below, my stomach—almost my hips—resting on the banister. ‘Reach!’

  ‘Bremy, I’m not going to make it!’

  ‘Yes you are! Don’t you let go!’ I screamed. ‘Reach dammit!’

  Part of me knew he was right … the distance between our fingertips was just too great. ‘Bart! Don’t you die on me!’

  ‘Not what I want to hear right now!’

  ‘Help!’ I screamed. ‘Someone!’ I darted a quick glance behind me, but the security guards were gone, probably to see what was happening below.

  ‘I’m slipping, Bremy!’

  My eyes moved from his panicked ones up to his grip. His fingers! They were slipping!

  ‘Bart! No!’ He let go.

  ‘No!’

  I desperately lunged for him … but my reach … it wasn’t long enough—

  But someone else’s was.

  A long, muscular arm shot forward, hand snapping shut around Bart’s wrist.

  I jerked my head around to see Pierce, lunging forward, chest slamming against the railing as Bart’s weight snapped below.

  ‘Pierce!’ I clutched his shoulder. ‘You got him! Hold on!’

  He hunched lower, planting his feet against the railing, while swinging his other hand over to grab the back of Bart’s outfit. He then struggled to straighten his legs, fighting to lift with every muscle he had. He was hauling Bart up! All dead mime weight of him! ‘Keep going! You’re doing it!’

  Sweat broke out over Pierce’s brow, all the fine muscles in his face contorted into something very manly with all the strain, but I swear I never thought, for more than a tenth of a second, about how very hot he looked, all … bulging.

  Seconds later, both Pierce and I were reaching over to grab the fabric of Bart’s unitard, and together we heaved him over the ledge. He collapsed into a puddle on the marble floor. ‘Bart,’ I said, leaning down to put a hand on his back. ‘Are you okay?’

  He didn’t answer. Instead he gripped Pierce’s pants, then hand over hand clawed his way up his body. I realised he was also saying something. I leaned in, cocking my ear. It was, ‘I love you, man,’ over and over.

  When Bart got to the top of Pierce, he collapsed in his arms. ‘I mean it,’ Bart said, pulling back to look Pierce in the face, ‘I love you, man. I said to Bremy, right from the beginning, that you were too good for her … too good for everyone.’

  ‘Hey!’

  Bart peeked at me over his arm. ‘You should have pulled the alarm, Bremy. Why didn’t you pull the alarm?’

  ‘I—’ I began but was quickly cut off by another explosive crack … then a sizzling sound.

  All three of us instinctively ducked.

  ‘What’s happening?’ I shouted. ‘Are those bombs?’

  Pierce straightened, quizzical look on his face. ‘No, I think they’re some sort of fireworks.’

  All three of us moved to take in the situation below. There were lots of cringing rich people, lots of smoke, and lots of sparkling. Something caught my attention by the front entrance. A team of big men in suits and sunglasses stood in a line blocking the exits, while a group of women strutted through a break in their formation. Women in jewel-toned sausage dresses. Then he walked in … signature sunglasses and flashy white smile in place.

  Big Shot … Ricky.

  I should have known.

  Whatever this was that my father had planned, I suddenly knew it wasn’t going to be … violent. It didn’t make me feel better though. There were many different ways to hurt a person. And my father knew most of them.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Pierce asked.

  I shook my head. ‘It’s Big Shot.’

  Bart looked up to Pierce and asked, ‘What do we do?’

  ‘Hey! Why aren’t you asking me that question? I’m the one with the superheroing experience.’

  ‘Do I seriously have to answer that?’ Bart asked.

  ‘You know, you talk a lot for a mime.’

  Pierce cleared his throat. ‘I think maybe we should focus.’

  ‘Right. Sorry,’ Bart said, in a very serious voice. ‘Did you know that you bear a striking resemblance to Captain America?’ Thankfully, a microphone screeched, stopped him from going any further. ‘Helllooo everybody!’ Big Shot shouted with a staccato, Ha Ha Ha at the end. Suddenly he tilted his head, looked up at me and pointed. ‘Are we having a good time tonight?’

  There had to be at least a couple hundred people in the gallery of the museum and not a one spoke a word.

  ‘I said … Are we having a good time tonight!’

  The shout echoed coldly off the museum’s walls.

  He looked down and shook his head. ‘Oh, that’s sad … so sad. But that’s why I’m here.’ He threw his arms into the air and leaned back. ‘To bring the fun.’

  Big Shot snapped his fingers and one of his tanned girl minions sashayed forward with a book in her hand. ‘You see, I know how boring these events can be, so I thought I’d liven things up,’ he said, raising the book into the air. ‘But, sadly, for all of you, it won’t be free of charge.’

  I looked over to Bart to see if he had figured out what was going on, but he shrugged.

  ‘Does anyone know what this is?’ My gaze snapped back to Ricky.

  ‘No?’ He swung the book around for all to see. ‘What if I told you it was something you all desperately wanted?’ A confused murmur ran through the crowd.

  ‘And tonight it will go to the highest bidder!’

  ‘Wait,’ Bart said abruptly. He dropped his voice so that Pierce couldn’t hear. ‘My brain isn’t exactly at its normal running speed, but he pointed at you. Do you know this guy?’

  I nodded. ‘His name’s Ricky. Our … my family’s old pool boy.’

  ‘Okay,’ Bart said, bloodshot eyes darting over my face. ‘But that doesn’t explain why you look so weird.’

  ‘This little book, right here, has all your secrets …’

  I leaned closer to Bart. ‘I kind of had a thing for Ricky back in the day.’

  ‘Oh, Bremy,’ he said in a sad, disgust-tinged voice. ‘You had a thing with Mr Aviator Sunglasses?’

  ‘Oy! You just stop right there,’ I whispered, driving a finger into his chest. ‘I will not be judged by you … you who dates all the beautiful disasters and then becomes one yourself when you get dumped for the first time!’

  ‘… and I’m wondering who is going to be the highest bidder …’

  ‘Besides,’ I said, through my teeth. ‘It wasn’t a big deal. Just a kiss or two, and a—’ I caught myself.

  Bart smiled. ‘And a what?’

  ‘Well, he did give me a pretty significant hickey,’ I said, eyeing Pierce to make sure he was still focused on the soon-to-be auction below. ‘Like, seriously, it didn’t heal for weeks. If everybody has a superpower, his is suction.’

  ‘Gross.’

  It wasn’t though. I felt my heart swell a bit. ‘We were kids.’

  Pierce leaned in, breaking up our huddle. ‘If you guys are okay, I have to go. My camera man is waving me down.’

  ‘Go,’ I said with a smile. ‘This could be big. Maybe you’ll get a shot at one of those Periwinkle Surprises.’

  His brow crinkled. ‘Peri—oh! Pulitzer. Good one, Bremy.’ He walked a few steps then stopped. ‘Can you two stay out of trouble?’

  I nodded, and he trotted away.

  Bart cast me a sideways look. ‘You had no idea what it was called, did you?’

  ‘None whatsoever,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘But don’t you think it’s sweet that he thought I did?’

  Bart stared at me a moment, before turning back to the action below.


  ‘Here’s another little teaser for you! Mrs Winterbalm!’ Ricky shouted, flipping some pages. My eyes scanned the crowd for my favourite octogenarian. She was taking a long sip of champagne. ‘It says here that you have some peculiar tastes in the bedroom!’

  From what I could see, Mrs Winterbalm wasn’t showing much concern but her sons had gone deathly still.

  ‘It seems that somebody likes a little spank under her Spanx. And that’s only the beginning,’ he added, flicking some more. ‘I have pictures to prove it!’

  A gasp slash groan ran through the crowd.

  My eyes flew back to Mrs Winterbalm. All of her sons were casting pretty aggravated stares down at her, but she just threw them a disinterested shrug. ‘Now, who’s next?’ Ricky asked. ‘Maybe we should take things out of the bedroom and into the boardroom!’

  That sent a new ripple through the crowd.

  I leaned over to Bart. ‘Don’t you think it’s kind of weird that none of this is, well, about me yet?’

  ‘Only you,’ Bart said, closing his eyes. ‘Only you could say that sentence.’

  I slapped him on the arm. ‘You know what I mean.’

  Ricky’s voice interrupted us. ‘You don’t get to be as rich as you guys by always playing fair. Let’s see what dirty tricks I have stowed away in my book.’ He began flipping again.

  ‘Do you think we should do something?’ I whispered to Bart.

  ‘Meh. I don’t know. As far as crimes go, this doesn’t really seem like a super bad one. I mean, he’s kind of doing the vigilante thing himself by exposing crimes.’

  ‘For profit!’ I spluttered. ‘And by holding hundreds of people hostage!’

  Bart screwed up his lips and nodded as though considering. ‘But I’m kind of spent after my near-death experience. I just want to watch.’

  I backhanded him on the shoulder.

  ‘Ow! You seriously need to stop hitting me.’

  ‘Crime fighting is not a pick and choose type of deal.’

  ‘Jeez,’ he said, rubbing his shoulder. ‘Are you sure this isn’t your father’s plan? For you to humiliate yourself in front of all these people by trying to stop this crime?’