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Page 33

by T L Swan


  My eyes hold his, and although I’m still foggy, I know I didn’t imagine him and Melissa at that nightclub.

  “Home?” I ask.

  “Yes, I’m here, and I’m not leaving your side. I’ve been frantic.”

  I frown.

  “I thought I had lost you forever.” He smiles softly.

  My eyes flicker to the nurse in confusion and she smiles. “I will go and get the doctor.” She leaves the room.

  “I know about your father.” Todd pauses. “I know about everything.”

  I stay silent as the tears fill my eyes.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks.

  I stare straight ahead, unable to make myself look at him.

  “I could have helped you deal with this. I could have protected you.”

  “What happened?” I whisper. What does he know? “I don’t remember much.”

  “You were kidnapped by your father’s men.”

  I frown.

  “He tried to kill you again, but thankfully he was shot dead.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat as I see him lying on the cold, hard factory floor. The pain pumps hard in my leg. “My leg?” I whisper.

  “You were shot.”

  I frown and my eyes meet his for the first time.

  He wipes the hair back from my forehead. “I’m so sorry, Shelly. We will get through this. I love you, we will get through this.”

  “Melissa?” I ask.

  He shakes his head angrily. “It was a mistake, a one-night, terrible mistake. We haven’t seen each other since. She has moved out of the apartment. I have been frantic and going out of my mind searching for you.”

  I turn my eyes straight ahead again and stare into space.

  The doctor comes through the door. “Well, hello.” He smiles broadly. “You are looking much better.”

  He picks up my chart and checks my vitals that the nurse has just taken. “From one to ten, what is your pain level?”

  “Ten.” I wince as I try to move.

  “I will give you some stronger pain medication.” He turns to the nurse. “Can you give her some morphine, please?” He turns back to me and smiles. “We operated, and thankfully the bullet has made no permanent damage. You will be up and about in no time.”

  My eyes hold his. “Do you know where the man who saved me is?” I whisper.

  The doctor’s eyes flicker to Todd.

  “He didn’t save you Shelly. He was the man who kidnapped you,” Todd replies. “You’re confused, angel.” He bends and kisses my forehead.

  I frown. “No.”

  The doctor takes my hand in his. “You have been to Hell and back over last month. I don’t want you to think about it now. I need you to concentrate on getting stronger, getting well.”

  “Where is he?” I whisper. “I need to see him—”

  “Shelly, listen to me,” Todd interrupts as he brings my face to meet his. “You are traumatized. I’m here. I’m going to get you through this.”

  My eyes fill with tears. I feel weak. I’m confused. “Where is my love?” I whisper.

  “I’m here, angel,” Todd replies. “I’m right here.” He picks up my hand and kisses the back of it.

  The nurse injects me, and as the tears roll down my face, I somehow drift into sleep.

  * * *

  I wake in the early hours of the morning. My room is darkened and the hospital is silent. I buzz for the nurse and stay staring at the ceiling for a while until a new nurse comes in. She’s young, younger than me.

  She smiles sweetly. “Hello. You buzzed.”

  “I feel like I need to go to the restroom,” I whisper.

  She checks my catheter. “I will just empty your bag.” She fusses about and empties my bag and then tops up my meds. “You are a nurse?” she asks.

  I smile softly and nod. “Yes.”

  She stands at the side of my bed in the darkness and picks up my hand in hers. My strength breaks down and my eyes fill with tears.

  “Do you want me to sit with you for a while?” she whispers in the darkness.

  I nod, unable to speak.

  She pulls up a chair and sits with my hand in hers. The tears start to run down my face.

  She doesn’t speak and neither do I, but having her here with me is enough.

  * * *

  I am woken up by Todd. “Good morning, Shelly.” He smiles broadly.

  “Hi.”

  “You look better today. How are you feeling?”

  “Fine.”

  I stare at him for a moment. I have to know. “What happened to the man?”

  He frowns. “That animal has been charged with your kidnapping and rape. He has been deported to Columbia for trial.”

  My face falls.

  “I hope they give him the death sentence.”

  “He didn’t rape me.”

  “Yes, yes, he did. His semen was found in a rape kit test carried out on you. DNA testing has come through.”

  “It was consensual,” I snap.

  His face falls. “You don’t know what you are saying, angel.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “No, you don’t. You have been kidnapped and beaten into submission by that freak.”

  “His name is Stace,” I snap. “Don’t speak about him like that.”

  His eyes meet mine.

  “I’m in love with him,” I whisper.

  He screws up his face. “You’re not in love with him. He has brainwashed you. You are traumatized.”

  “I’m not in love with you.”

  “Yes, you are,” he commands. “You have been through a lot.”

  “I’ve seen what it’s like,” I whisper.

  Todd buzzes for the nurse.

  “I don’t need a nurse,” I snap. “I need to know what happened to Stace. Tell me what happened to him!”

  The nurse walks in. “Can you give her something please to calm her down. She’s delusional.”

  I frown. “No, I’m not. Get out!”

  “I won’t be going anywhere.” He puts his hands on his hips in an outrage. “She is obviously having some kind of mental episode.”

  “Where is he?” I yell. “Take me to him.”

  The nurse buzzes for back up.

  “I wasn’t raped. He would never do that!” I snap. “You need to tell the police. Get them. Get the police for me now,” I whisper.

  “And then what happened?” The officer’s eyes glance up from his notepad.

  “I snuck onto the boat,” I continue. I have to get him out of this. He is rotting in a prison somewhere for something he hasn’t done.

  “We know that’s not true, Shelly.”

  I cut him off. “My name is Roshina.”

  The officer’s eyes meet and then the other one interjects. “We have been over this a million times over the last week. We have video footage of you being taken against your will and put into the trunk of a car.”

  “I wasn’t raped.”

  “You have been brainwashed. It’s not unusual for victims to become attached to their attacker,” the officer soothes.

  “I’m not… I’m not fucking brainwashed,” I stammer in frustration. “Listen to what I am saying. He didn’t touch me. He took me to save me from the other men. He helped me escape. I want him set free.”

  The officer’s eyes hold mine.

  “He isn’t even in the country anymore.”

  “Where is he?”

  “He has been extradited to the Columbian authorities and charged with your kidnapping and drug offenses.”

  “It was on American soil. Why has he been extradited? I don’t understand why nobody is listening to me.”

  “That is not your concern,” Todd snaps from the doorway.

  I glare at him. For a week now he has been pretending we are something that we’re not and that I’m simply going crazy. What he doesn’t know is that day-by-day I am getting stronger, and as my strength builds, so does my hatred for him.

  I have
n’t forgotten what you did, asshole.

  “We understand you are getting released next week,” the policeman replies.

  I nod. “Yes.”

  “You can’t be released out on your own. Where are you going to stay while you recover?”

  “In my apartment.”

  “You can’t. As the doctors and psychologists have told you numerous times, you are not well enough to look after yourself just yet. The doctors have instructed us that you are not of sane mind to be left alone and you are physically incapable of caring for yourself.” The policeman frowns. “Perhaps you should take the rehabilitation center option.”

  “I’m going home and I know my options. You can’t keep me against my will.”

  “I will be with her,” Todd replies.

  “No, you won’t.”

  “I’m looking after you whether you like it not.”

  I roll my eyes. Fuck’s sake, why won’t anyone listen to me?

  The policeman blows out a frustrated breath and shakes his head. He takes out his wallet and hands me a business card. “If you need me, just call.” I take the card and stare at it. My thoughts go back to the engagement ring specialist card that Stace had.

  I was so happy then.

  “The case has been closed from our end. I will not be in touch with you again unless you contact me.”

  I nod as I stare at the card.

  “Todd.” The policeman turns to him. “If you need our assistance, here is our card.” He hands him another card. “Here is the mental health crisis center line, in case you need it.” Todd nods as he takes the two cards. “I think I’m going to.”

  This is bullshit. “I’m not a child. I’m not unstable,” I snap.

  Todd’s eyes flicker to me. “Thank you, officers. I have it handled from here.”

  The officers leave and Todd falls into the seat along side of me.

  “Todd…” I pause. “We have to talk.”

  His eyes hold mine. I know I can’t tell him the truth because they will put me into a mental institution.

  “I don’t love you anymore.”

  “Yes, you do. We can get through this.”

  I shake my head and smile softly as my eyes fill with tears. “I’ve been through enough.”

  “I know, and that’s why you need me.”

  “I need to be alone. For the first time in my whole life, I want to be alone.”

  His eyes hold mine.

  “I’m sorry about Melissa, I’m so, so sorry. I love you. Please let’s work through this.”

  I shake my head and take his hand as empathy fills me. “I don’t think I ever loved you, Todd.”

  He frowns.

  “I am incapable of loving you.”

  He stares at me as he thinks.

  “I want you to walk out that door.”

  He looks to the door.

  “And I don’t want you to come back.”

  “I don’t want you to deal with this alone.”

  “I have been alone my whole life.”

  “Shelly,” he whispers sadly. “I fucked up, but I can fix it.”

  “It’s broken for good, Todd,” I whisper. “We can’t be fixed.”

  A knock bangs at the door. “Hello, Shelly. My name is Erica and I am a psychologist. We had an appointment booked for this morning.”

  Grateful for the interruption, I smile. “Yes, of course. Come in, please.”

  * * *

  I’ve been in rehab for two weeks. It’s been six weeks since I was shot. I finally got the message through to Todd and he stopped coming to see me, although he still rings me every morning and night. The psychologist has diagnosed me with Stockholm syndrome, and so, for now, I am just playing along and agreeing with them

  Six long weeks since I lost the other half of me.

  Does he think about me all the time, like I do him? Sometimes I wake up and I feel like I won’t be able to survive another hour without him.

  Are they right?

  Am I crazy?

  It doesn’t really matter anymore, I suppose, and I just need to concentrate on my health for the time being. One of the nurses from work is flying in to pick me up today and then fly back home with me. I’m assuming it’s my closest friend Moira, I think my boss would have sent her. I’m excited to be seeing familiar faces. It’s been a lonely six weeks and I’ve had no contact with anyone at all.

  I sit on my bed as the nurse goes through the last of my medication discharge notes with me.

  “And this one here is the one that helps you to sleep.” She scribbles onto the box, sleeping.

  I nod. “Okay.”

  “But remember, you can’t drive when you are taking these.”

  “Okay.” I smile. “Thank you. You have been wonderful.” I smile.

  “You going to be okay?” she asks.

  I shrug. “Yeah, I’m tough.”

  “No shit.” She smirks and leaves me to it. I walk over to the window and stare out over the city.

  I don’t like Vegas. I don’t think I will ever come back here.

  “Hello, love,” a familiar voice rings through the room.

  I turn.

  Annette Stace’s Mom.

  Tears fill my eyes.

  “Are you ready to go home?” she asks softly.

  “What?” I whisper.

  “I’ve come to get my daughter-in-law and take her home.”

  I frown, confused.

  “You can stay with me for a little while and I will take care of you. You can then move into Stace’s house in Manhattan”

  I stand still.

  “Where is he?” I whisper.

  “He’s in prison in Columbia.”

  My face screws up in pain. “Is he okay?” I whisper.

  “He will be better when he knows you are being looked after.”

  I smile through my tears. “Does he know you’re here?” I ask hopefully.

  She wraps her arms around me. “He sent me to come for you.” She kisses my face.

  She holds me in an embrace, and for some stupid reason, the skies open up and I cry stupid howling-to-the-moon tears.

  “Come on.” She eventually smiles. “Let’s go home.”

  I bounce down the street in Bogota in the ice-pink dress I had made. It’s a mirror image of the one Stace bought me for our first date. I wonder if he will remember. It has been two long years, but today he finally got out of prison. He was originally sentenced to five years, but we got it reduced to two on appeal. That was the best we could do with the cash that we had.

  He wouldn’t let me pick him up this morning. He said he has a surprise for me.

  I moved to Columbia as soon as I was well enough. I needed to be closer to him. I live in a beautiful house in the hills and life has been good.

  I needed this time alone, to find myself.

  To find out who I am supposed to be when I am not living in fear. I’ve finally forgiven myself for my mother’s death.

  It wasn’t my fault. I know that now.

  I’ve visited Stace in prison three times a week, every week. It was the maximum amount of visits he could have. The time has only brought us closer.

  We are so in love.

  He didn’t have the privilege of conjugal visits. The prison he was in was too overcrowded and didn’t have the facilities.

  Every time I said goodbye and put my hand on the glass, and he did the same, we both died a little without each other’s touch.

  Not even a kiss.

  He’s done it, though. The conditions were atrocious and yet every time I visited, he was more concerned about me and how I was doing. At first, I was petrified that Vikinos would have men in the prison. But, thankfully, that hasn’t seemed to be a problem at all. It would have been a different story had he been put into an American one.

  I’m not only in love with him.

  I like him.

  He’s a good man. My hardened criminal is a good man.

  I’m buzzing, buzzing with excitemen
t. Buzzing with anxiety.

  What if things have changed between us, and the chemistry has gone?

  It hasn’t. I know it hasn’t, but hell, two years is a long time to have a best friend and not be able to touch him.

  I turn the corner onto the safety deposit box street. We arranged to meet here and get our diamonds out together. I didn’t want to come back here without him. These are his diamonds, too. I keep walking and I catch sight of him. He looks up, our eyes meet, and in that moment my heart completely stops.

  He’s waiting out the front on the steps and he has a golden little puppy on a leash.

  An over the top smile breaks free on my face, and I walk faster. I skip and then I start to run. He laughs and walks toward me, and I jump into his arms where he spins me around. Our lips connect and I laugh through my tears.

  We kiss as his hands wrap tightly around me. Oh God, he feels so good.

  We kiss again and again and I feel my arm being tugged by the little, sandy friend.

  I bend and pat him on the head. “Hello.” I smile through tears. “What’s your name?”

  The little Labrador pulls back on his lead to try and escape this new form of torture. He does this pathetic little woof and I laugh out loud.

  “You got me a puppy?”

  Stace nods as he drags me to my feet, his hand holding my jaw the way he wants me and his tongue caressing my lips.

  Oh God, I’ve missed this.

  “We need to go home,” he whispers.

  “Diamonds.” I smile as I wrap my arms around his broad muscular shoulders. He’s much bigger than he was before.

  He walks me backwards until I am up against the wall, his hands on my face, his hard length up against my stomach. “I couldn’t care less about the diamonds,” he breathes into my mouth. “It’s you that I want.”

  His mouth drops to my neck and I close my eyes in pleasure as his whiskers dust my skin. We kiss again and he’s right, we really do need to get home. I could come on the spot.

  “Diamonds and home,” I breathe.

  He bends and picks up our new family member and we walk into the office and up to reception.

  “We are here to empty our deposit box,” he says. He hands over his identification and I watch him. He’s different. Harder, yet softer, if that makes sense. His body has changed from all of his weight sessions and now, when I look at him, I only see the Stace that I am in love with. The beautiful man who saved me, both physically and mentally. My attention goes to the little puppy as he grabs his lead in his mouth and pulls backwards as hard as he can. I smile as we play tug of war with his lead and he lets out a squeaky little bark again.

 

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