by Lace, Lolah
“You love my brother. I get it. It’s not crazy. It’s just life.”
“Mason told me that they are over. He said he’s going to see a lawyer.”
“I think that he will. He knows that marriage isn’t working. I know him and I know he isn’t happy there. I don’t want anybody to divorce but I want my brother to be happy. He is happy with you. That’s obvious.”
“I’m being honest when I tell you that I love him. I want to believe him when he says we are going to be together but he has lied to me in the past and broke my heart…I sound stupid.”
“Mason wanted me to watch the kids for him the day this happened. I went over to his place and picked them up. Has he talked to you since you were caught?
“I saw him that night. I’ve been seeing him since that day. I don’t know what’s going on but he told me he’s leaving Tess but he’s getting her comfortable with the idea before he throws divorce papers at her.”
“Do you really think he is leaving Tess?” Karen asked very interested in my answer.
“Yes, no I want to believe him.” I thought we established that he was really leaving.
“I know he’s watching Tess, making sure she doesn’t hurt herself. I know I shouldn’t say this but I talk too much. Mason does love you back. He told me that he loves you. I don’t know if that makes you feel better or worse.”
“I don’t doubt his love for me. I doubt his willingness to leave Tess and make a life with me.”
“My brother does a lot of things I don’t understand. I should mind my business but if I hear anything good or bad, I will let you know.”
“Thanks Karen.”
We both eat peacefully. I did more drinking than eating. I was okay with the wine and I decided to nix the shot of Tequila. My appetite was messed up because of the Sienna altercation. I wanted to call her but I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t call her at all.
I got home before Jack. He came home and was acting like Sienna hadn’t told him a thing. I could tell she never even spoke to him. I even checked his phone when he was in the shower. Sienna hadn’t called or texted him all day. I sleep next to Jack that night feeling like a real hooker but he was none the wiser. I don’t know why Sienna didn’t run to her father and tell him. Now I have to find a way to break it to him before Sienna does.
CHAPTER 4
MASON
I checked out of work early so I could visit my neighbor. Donald Underwood lived a few houses down the street. Don was a lawyer and fellow Chicago Bears fan. He was also Paige the babysitter’s father. Don is not actually a divorce lawyer but he does practice family law. I called him up and told him I needed to have a talk. He invited me over for a beer. Before my visit with Don, I picked Hannah and Matty up from Karen’s. I didn’t fully trust Tess with my kids but this was the third day in a row that I left little Tim with her.
Tess and I were both doing an excellent job of ignoring each other. Before I walked over to Don Underwood’s I told Tess I would be visiting a neighbor. I made it clear I would be right back. I left her all alone in the house with the children. I didn’t want her to get any devious ideas. I don’t trust her. She doesn’t trust me. This is what our marriage has come to, thanks to me. Regardless, I have to take precautions. All my guns were locked up and put away.
Tess didn’t seem to be suicidal or homicidal. But I honestly don’t have a clue to what goes through that woman’s mind. I told Hannah to call me if Tess starts acting weird. Oddly Hannah didn’t ask any questions. She knew exactly what I meant by weird. I had given Hannah a cellphone. It was our little secret. Hannah was nine but she was a responsible kid. She took her phone to school with her but it was on silent. It was easy to keep things from Tess. She was in her own world.
When I arrived at Don’s there was no one home but him. He told me his daughter Paige was at her friends. Don’s wife died of breast cancer about three years ago. Tess and I attended the funeral. I can’t say that Tess and I were a perfect happy couple back then but we were content. I was comfortable. The life I had was peaceful, stress-free and mundane. I didn’t want anything more than what I had. Then a year ago I met Kari and I wanted more of everything I didn’t even know I was missing.
Yes the sex is ten times better with Kari but the attraction is too. The conversation is immensely deeper. The sharing of ideas, thoughts, knowledge and experiences with Kari is so much deeper than with Tess. Kari understands me. She embraces me not in the physical sense but internally. She listens in a way that makes me feel this profound intensity. It’s like my life has meaning for things other than my construction business and my kids. I feel whole knowing she exists in this world, in my world.
I threw on my hoodie and went to Don’s. It was kind of chilly this evening. My neighbor was grilling on his back porch. He offered me a beer. I thankfully took the brew and a seat in the lawn chair next to him.
“So what’s up neighbor?” Don leaned back in his chair and focused on his barbecue grill.
“I’m going to go see a lawyer. I’m filing for divorce.”
“Divorce?” Don questioned my words just as I knew he would.
“You got any recommendations?”
“You’re thinking of divorcing Tess?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged and put my hands in the pockets of my hoodie.
“You found somebody else?”
“Yeah I guess so.”
“You’re sure about this? Getting a divorce?”
“Well I think so. Tess caught me cheating.”
“Shit that sucks. She told you it was over?”
“No but I can’t keep my wife and my mistress.”
“I wish I had your problems.”
“No you don’t.”
“Ah yeah I do. Do you know how hard it is dating out here? All these dating websites, who wants to stare at a computer to find a date. I’m on the computer at work. I’m reading crap all day. Why would I want to read ten thousands dating profiles? Believe me Romeo I would love to have your problems.”
“You say that now.”
“So what now? Are you going to be with this other lady?”
“Yeah that’s the plan. If she waits for me to divorce but she’s a hot commodity. Her stock is up. There are other’s looking to steal my controlling shares.”
“You leave Tess and you’re going to have to pay out of your ass.”
“I don’t have a problem giving Tess whatever the court says she deserves.”
“That’s what they all say until the ex gets half of your future earnings. So you’re really serious about this?”
“Very serious. I want out.”
“Damn, I wish my wife was still alive. She predicted this. She actually said there was no way you guys would stay married. She give you guys five years and that was four years ago. She said you two were disconnected and too different. She used those exact words, disconnected and different.”
“She said that?”
“Yeah she was good at predicting things about people. Don’t take offense to it.”
“No offense taken. Your wife was right. We are disconnected and different.”
“The experts always say you should never jump from one relationship to another.”
“The experts have never seen my girlfriend.”
“Well, well, I know she has to be younger?”
“Only by four years.”
“You still got all your hair. You got a bigger pool of women to choose from. All us balding guys are stuck with the woman who can see that you used to look good before the receding hairline and male pattern baldness.”
“Don, you’re a lawyer. You will find someone.”
“I’ve been on a few dates with this Asian lawyer that works at my law firm. I’m not sure I can see myself married to someone of another race.”
“Why not?” I asked curious to hear his answer. I know Don is not racist.
“I’m not sure. Will Paige be okay with it?”
“You could always ask he
r, kids are more resilient then we may think.” It sounds good but I’m not sure I believe my own words. “Don, life is too short. You know that better than anyone. Your wife was taken from you much too soon. If you really care about someone and you want to be with them and if they make you happy, you should do that as soon as possible.”
After a nice juicy barbecue steak and a few more beers I headed home. I called Hannah’s cellphone a total of three times when I was at Don’s. Sure it was a bit excessive but Tess tried to kill herself and that was something I would never forget or forgive. Believe me I’ve tried to block that entire experience from my thoughts but I can’t do it. Tess’ suicide attempt is just like my love for Kari. I can’t stop thinking about Kari. My love for Kari is constant. It is a pleasant memory whereas carrying my wife’s lifeless body into the emergency room is an unpleasant memory.
I had been sleeping on the couch since Tess caught me with Kari. The couch was more comfortable. The only thing I hated about the couch was that it was downstairs and my kid’s bedrooms were upstairs. It made it hard for me to stay sleep. I could sleep when I knew Tess had taken a sleeping pill. I made sure I counted them every day. I waited for evening to see if there was a pill missing. If so, that meant I could sleep six or eight hours straight.
I needed sleep. Tonight I was able to get what I needed. I woke up the next morning and Tess was moving about upstairs. I had already made breakfast for my kids. They had taken over my new bedroom. Saturday morning cartoons were entertaining my kids. I decided to just sit alone in the kitchen and read the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper off my iPad.
I could hear my children bickering in the background but it was the good kind. The kind that made me feel they really loved one another. Although I lived in a surrounding suburb of Chicago the news of the endless murders that plagued the big city was a topic that was hard to escape. We were the murder capital and by the news in this electronic newspaper that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.
My tranquility was soon interrupted by the sight of my wife. She walked in and went straight for the coffeemaker. She poured herself a cup.
“Good morning.”
I looked up from the iPad. Was she talking to me? “Morning.”
Tess took a sip. She doesn’t like black coffee. She always adds cream and sugar but not this time. Why?
“Have you talked to a lawyer?”
“Not yet.”
“I need to ask you a favor.”
“Ask.”
“My sister is coming over. She says she wants to drop by. She doesn’t know anything about our marital problems. She doesn’t know anything about anything.”
“Okay.” I already knew Tess doesn’t share anything personal with her family members. I don’t understand it but I have respected her wishes for years and I still will.
“Mason please.”
I looked up from the iPad screen. “I said I won’t say anything.” There was a time that I would try to ask questions about the strange relationship Tess has with her family. Now things are different and mums the word.
“She said she’ll be here at one. Will you be here to watch the kids while Connie visits with me?”
“Yes, I will be here.”
“I’m not asking you to act like you love me or anything. I just don’t want Connie to know about us or our problems.”
“Fine, I’m asking you not to attempt to manipulate me in any way. I wouldn’t like that.”
My words pissed Tess off. She was holding her coffee mug so tight it was shaking in her grip.
“If you’re thinking about throwing your hot coffee on me, you better think again.” I was threatening her. I refuse to live in fear anymore. I’m tired of being worried she’s going to flip out and do something rash, like hurt my kids.
“I would never burn your face. I’m sure that’s what your girlfriend loves about you.”
I smirked. “You would think that.” I chuckled to myself. I know Kari would take my big cock over my looks any day. Tess is clueless. “I will play along with your little charade but this marriage is over. You can file for divorce if you like just to beat me to the punch but make no mistake I will do it.”
Tess’ anger turned to despair. My words hit her hard in the chest and knocked a tear from her eyes. Now I feel terrible. Why am I such a fucking prick?
She took another sip of her coffee. “One o’clock.” Tess turned away and left me sitting at the table alone. I heard her footsteps as they went up the back staircase.
Tess stayed away from me and I had no problem staying away from her. Later I made lunch for my kids and we walked to Sunset Park. That’s the park I held my past little league practices. I had good memories at that park. Kari was in some of them. I returned home with my kids at two. Tess’ sister was still here. Her car was parked in the driveway. It was time for me to play nice. It wouldn’t be hard if Tess didn’t make it unbearable. I actually liked Connie. I just rarely saw her. Tess was distant from her family and I didn’t interfere when Tess was so stubborn.
My kids ran inside and went upstairs to their rooms. I went into the kitchen for a glass of water, tap water. Shit, I ran right into Connie and Tess. I believe I ran right into a fight. What the hell are they doing in here?
Tess was swinging wildly into the air. Connie’s face was bleeding. Blood was on her forehead and cheek.
Tess caught a glimpse of me. “Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!” Tess wailed like she was dying. Her fist flew in the direction of Connie who was doing a terrible job of blocking the erratic frenzy of blows.
“Tess! Tess! Tess! Calm down! Tess!” Connie was begging Tess to stop. Some of Tess’ balled fists were landing on Connie.
I was lost and confused and somehow I was stuck in the entryway of the kitchen. Tess was like the cartoon Tasmanian devil. She was tearing up things in her wake. She grabbed a Teflon skillet off the stove and she started wielding it like it was a baseball bat. What the fuck?
I catapulted myself into the action. “What the fuck is going on?” Is Connie going to clue me in?
Connie’s eyes shot over to me as if seeing me for the first time. “Mason just help me with her.” Connie asked. “Grab her.” She ordered.
I leapt to the opposite side of the of the kitchen table. Connie and I had Tess boxed in. I reached out for Tess and she swung the skillet at me and almost took out my elbow. Damn, that was close. I was trying to find a way to take Tess down. My eyes were scanning my environment. I noticed there were chunks of hair in the kitchen floor.
Tess was moving side to side. Her eyes were glazed over. I had never seen her this way. I had seen something similar that day at the hotel parking lot, similar but not quite the same. I jumped forward and reached for the skillet. I snatched it from her hands. I turned to check Connie’s proximity. Where the hell was Connie? She left me alone in the kitchen with Tess. I took my eyes off Tess for a second to search for Connie. Tess’ eyes were examining the room like she was being attacked by some hokey invisible entity. Tess was shaking so bad. Her entire body was trembling in a way I had never seen.
Connie was back. “Mason, grab her.” She yelled.
When Tess turned her attention to Connie I seized the opportunity to subdue Tess. I charged toward her and grabbed her up with both hands and lifted her off her feet. Tess was thrashing and I was just holding her completely unaware of what brought about this fit.
Connie ran over to us and she injected Tess with something. There was a syringe in Connie’s hand. Where the fuck did that come from? What the fuck? In two seconds Tess went limp in my arms.
“Take her upstairs to bed.” Connie ordered as she backed away and took a breath. She was winded and I was puzzled.
“What was that? What did you give her?” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
What the fuck is happening? “Take her upstairs!” Connie waved to me.
I tossed Tess up into my arms capturing her legs. I rushed up the stairs. What the fuck is going on? Connie was right behind me. I put Tess in bed
. I couldn’t get the image of Tess uncontrollably shaking out of my head. She looked like she was having a seizure. Does she have seizures? I pulled back the sheets and covered Tess’ peaceful sleeping body.
I looked across the bed at my sister-in-law. I had a definite scowl plastered across my face. I needed answers right now. I air gestured for Connie to follow me out to the hall. I moved first and Connie followed me out. She pulled the bedroom door shut.
“What the fuck?” I whispered.
Hannah peeked her head out of her bedroom door. “Is everything okay out here?”
“Yeah ladybug. Mommy’s sleeping so keep it down. She needs her rest.”
“Okay dad.” Hannah ducked her head back into her bedroom.
“Let’s go downstairs.” I said and Connie followed me downstairs. We went through the kitchen to the living room. I turned on the TV just in case one of my kids came down the stairs.
“Connie.” I placed my hands on my waist. I had enough of whatever this was. I was getting madder by the second. I was confused and just all around pissed the fuck off.
“I swore to my sister that I would never tell.”
“Tell what?”
“I can’t do this all by myself.”
“Do what?”
“Care for her.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Mason, shit this is hard.”
“Would you just tell me what the fuck is going on around here?” My voice was a mix of anger and frustration.
“When Tess and I were teenagers there was this family secret that we held for years.”
“Secret?”
“Yeah Mason, it’s not the kind of thing you tell people. Our parents don’t even know. When Tess was about the same age as Hannah she was molested by a family member.”
I almost smiled but caught myself. I thought it to be a lie but the more I looked at Connie the more I believed her words. “Molested?”
“That’s not really accurate. Tess was repeatedly raped from the age of eight to sixteen. I didn’t find out until years later. I found out when I was in college.”