by Lace, Lolah
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Why do you think Tess lived with me in Indiana? She didn’t move back to Illinois until she went to college. She moved away from him. I never knew what was happening. He never touched me. I think he messed with Tess because she was shy. I was a big mouth rowdy kid. He knew I would never keep my mouth shut.”
“Who is he? Who is this family member?”
“It’s our uncle, our father’s brother.”
“What’s his name?”
“Jimmy Cooper, James Cooper.”
“I got therapy for Tess but she made me promise to never tell our parents. I wanted to tell but any mention of it, him, the terrible things that happened, sent her over the edge. The therapy and medicine only helped a little. She only really got better when he went to jail.”
“He went to jail for it?” I was trying to control my anger.
“No, not exactly. He went to jail for raping a ten year old girl he lured from a park. Tess would never come forward, press charges. If you would have seen her at that time then you would understand. She wasn’t strong enough. There is no way she could testify in court. She is terrified of him. It’s pretty clear she still is terrified of him.”
“Why. He’s in jail?”
“No, he just got out of prison. I didn’t really have a choice. I had to tell her. What if he shows up at our parents’ house? I had to warn her that he is walking the streets. I didn’t think she would react this way but I was prepared just in case.”
“Connie your face is bleeding.”
Connie wiped her cheek and realized that in fact she had been scratched. I needed a sit down. This information was enough to knock me off my feet.
“I’m going to check my face.” Connie rushed away and ducked into the guest bathroom. I heard the door close behind her.
There was so much I didn’t know. Tess was secretive with her family but I never imagined she was hiding crucial pieces of her childhood from me. I wonder why she felt she couldn’t share them with me. Was I a terrible husband for not probing into why she acted the way she did? My thoughts were running rabid in my brain. But one thought prevailed. I wanted to kill that son-of-a-bitch James Cooper. I looked down at the carpet and realized my leg was shaking all by itself. I grabbed my knee and stopped the shaking. I palmed my fist in my hand. I wanted to hit someone, something, no someone.
There was absolutely no way I could forgive or forget her uncle’s actions. I needed to sleep off this rage, this hate, this urge to blow his face off his body with my Glock.
My cellphone vibrated in my pocket. I grabbed it.
“Hey.” It was Kari, terrible timing, not her fault.
“Hey, what time should I be at the hotel?”
“Oh shit, I’m sorry Kari. Something has come up. I’m not going to be able to make it to the hotel.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. Tim is sick with a fever. You know he has bad allergies. I need to watch him closely.” Shit! I don’t why I lied to her.
“Okay, I understand.” I heard the disappointment in her voice. “Are you sure you’re okay? You sound a little strange.”
Damn, Kari knows me too well. “No, I’m cool.”
“I hope he feels better.”
“I gave him some meds. He should be alright. I just want to monitor him.” Shit! Another fucking lie. What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Okay, text me later and tell me how he’s doing.”
“I will. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Later.”
Connie returned just as I was slipping my phone back into my pocket.
“You okay.” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s just a few scratches. Tess freaked out as soon as I mentioned his name. I never been raped so I don’t understand all this panic and rage but I know it’s real. I know my sister tried to kill herself once right after Jimmy showed up at our parents’ house unannounced. She would never tell me exactly what he did but I know it was bad. I supported her wish to keep this between me and her but it’s a lot for me. I have a family of my own now. I need help with her. Is she even going to a therapist?”
“She was at one time but not anymore.” Connie didn’t know anything about Tess’ recent suicide attempt. I didn’t know she tried this before.
“She needs help and medication. That was one of the worse panic attacks I’ve ever seen. She was actually violent. She can’t be violent around the kids.”
“I know. I will get her help.”
“The day that asshole was convicted and sentenced was the happiest day of my life. Tess got so much better after that.”
“How long ago?”
“He did fifteen years. He is a registered sex offender.”
“Your parents don’t know any of this?”
“Well they know he went to prison and what he was accused and convicted of. Our parents stood by him. They even helped pay for his lawyer. But they don’t know about Tess. She would die if they found out. She thinks they will blame her and with our mother, anything is possible.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t know any of this.”
“How could you? Tess builds layers and layers of amour around her. She doesn’t let people in. She doesn’t have friends. She has always been to herself. That asshole made her that way. He threatened to kill her friends so she made sure she didn’t have any.”
“That’s sick and twisted.”
Connie took a seat on the couch next to me. “Mason, don’t look so down. Tess is my sister. I love her just as much as you do. I’m going to help her. I will never let that bastard win. I wish he would’ve just died in prison. If someone could’ve just killed him, shank him or shiv him, whatever they do in prison. Uncle Jimmy being out is the worst thing that could have happened to my sister.”
Connie’s words stabbed me and sliced at my heart. Maybe things would be different if I had loved Tess more. Did I remind her of her repulsive Uncle Jimmy? Did the sexual things I partook in remind her of the man that raped her? This thought made me sick to my stomach. I know now that she faked it. She probably loved me but the sex was something she could do without. I had something to do with her illness, her body image and her need to conceal things from me and the others around her.
I was so busy in my world. I was so busy trying to be successful in my business that I neglected to see things that were staring me right in the face under my roof.
I talked to Connie for hours. She told me about the allegations, the little girl’s testimony and a host of revolting and utterly disturbing information.
We came up with a plan to help Tess. We decided she should go into a mental health facility for a brief period so she could get aggressive intensive care. Connie assured me that she would get Tess’ consent. I didn’t think Tess would agree but much to my surprise Connie talked Tess into checking herself into a mental health facility with minimal security. She made it seem like a vacation for mental clarity. That’s actually what she called it.
Tess was embarrassed that I knew the truth. I told her it wasn’t her fault and she had nothing to be ashamed of but somehow I don’t think she believed me. In this brief time Connie and Tess were together they seemed close. I didn’t know why Tess stayed away from Connie. Seeing them together now made me question a lot of things about Tess. Connie had a gentle way about her and Tess listened to Connie.
Tess was only going away for a month. I couldn’t leave her now. I couldn’t file for divorce while my wife was in a mental institution. It seemed heartless and mean. I wouldn’t kick her when she was down. I couldn’t add to her heartache and pain. What kind of man would I be? What kind of father would I be?
How the hell am I going to break it to Kari that yet again there is a bump in our road to happiness? I know that I will spare her the gory details. Tess would never want anyone to know. Throughout our marriage she didn’t even want me to know. I don’t agree with that but I can respect it. S
ome things are better left buried deep within. I understand her reasons for keeping these horrific acts to herself. The things she endured in her childhood are horrific. I have never experienced anything that comes remotely close to that.
The only real secret I ever kept from my childhood was that Jeremy Mendoza had a crush on me in junior high and all the way up until senior year of high school. He hid his homosexuality really well. I think I was the only guy that knew he was gay. I don’t know why I didn’t kick his ass. I would fight anyone for any reason. There didn’t have to be a good reason for me to brawl. Instead I ignored Jeremy’s little teary eyed speech about liking me. I keep him close and when we got to high school I let him watch me have sex with girls. It was sick shit I know and something I don’t want anyone to know about. But if Jeremy learned anything from me, he learned to fuck. So I’m sure all his little gay boyfriends were satisfied.
Shit! I did have one more secret. I fucked Jeremy’s mother. He didn’t know about it. Shit! I was a fucked up teenager.
CHAPTER 5
MASON
I had learned a lot pertinent information from my sister-in-law Connie. Most of it made me mad, some of it almost bought tears to my eyes. Tess’ uncle was a monster. I had to see this child molesting rapist with my own eyes. I had to see evil in the face.
I drove the forty miles to Long Grove. I had the address and the phone number. I got the details off the internet. I checked the Illinois Sex Offender Registry and there was a photo of that motherfucker with all his convictions listed along with his parole date. I decided that I wouldn’t involve Connie in anything I was doing. My plan was just to see this man. I needed to asset the threat. I had a daughter of my own, a daughter that I cherished. The thought of any man touching her, violating her and stealing her innocence made the bile rise to my throat. I couldn’t sleep knowing James Milton Cooper may be preying on defenseless little girls.
I pulled across the street from his shabby decrepit wood framed home. The yard, the house and the fence were in ill repair. I had never met this uncle. He was in jail at the time I had married Tess. My investigation turned up a wife. This bastard had the nerve to be married. He got out of jail and went back to the waiting arms of his wife. Connie said they called him Uncle Jimmy. He had two sons, both are losers. One son is a drunk and the other son is in prison.
I wanted to hurt this old man I had never met, this sixty-three year old freak. The fifteen years he spent in prison weren’t enough. He should burn for what he did to Tess and what I suspect he’s done to other young girls.
It was my lucky day I suppose because after only twenty minutes of staking out his house, he emerged from the front door. His face was old and hardened. I’m sure from his stint in prison but he was in shape. He wasn’t a feeble old man. He had time to hit the weights in prison. I could see that much. That didn’t matter to me. I would put that old pervert on his ass.
Jimmy had all his hair but was completely gray. He was dressed like any old man. It was s disguise to look normal, less threatening, less menacing. I could see through it. I wasn’t fooled into thinking he was reformed. There was something deeply disturbed about a man who was attracted to little girls.
The sexual deviant was sick in the head. There was no cure for that kind of sickness. Jimmy hobbled his ass down the porch steps and down the cracked cement walkway. He went out the front chain length fence and started walking east down the sidewalk.
I thought about following him on foot but it was clear I didn’t fit in this rundown neighborhood. I would have stood out like a sore thumb. My clothes were sporty but they looked too new. The common folks around here looked tired and worn out. Their clothes looked the same. Not a diss just a realistic observation.
I waited a few seconds and cranked up the old Maxima. A Range Rover in this neighborhood would stick out like a sore thumb. I made a U-turn in the middle of the street. I had to see where this bastard was headed. Uncle Jimmy never looked back. He seemed to be on a mission. After following him for eight blocks, it was clear he walked all this way to gawk at the children playing in the school yard. It must be recess. Jimmy thought he was clever. He pretended to just be taking a leisure stroll but he slowed down when he got the sidewalk attached to the school. He also crossed the street to be on the same side as the elementary school. He did this for no apparent reason that I could see. There was absolutely nothing on that side of the street but the school.
Motherfucker! This is not going to work. I can’t watch shit like this. My heart rate sped up and I got agitated beyond belief. I wondered if I would feel this way if I didn’t have a daughter of my own.
I’m no expert but it seemed like this old dog was up to his same old tricks. I cannot allow another little girl to get hurt. I know I’m not the law. I’m no vigilante but this was beyond my scope of reasoning.
My mind was routed with ways to cause this sexual deviant pain. I made sure that Uncle Jimmy found his way back home without committing any crimes or harming anyone. I could sleep okay tonight.
Tess was safe and sound in a mental health facility that Connie picked. We both visited with Tess every day that we were allowed. Tess had a long way to go. But I was hopeful that she would recover. This time the doctors were aware of her childhood trauma. I didn’t know she wasn’t even sharing her past sexual assault details with her psychiatrist. That was the bad thing about Tess. She was secretive and ashamed of things that she shouldn’t be ashamed of. Tess had three more weeks in the hospital.
I was not acting like a sane man myself. I was watching Jimmy Cooper like it was my job. I was like this robot that couldn’t stop. I followed him to Tess’ parents’ house. I followed him to a park where he watched children play. I watched him peruse the local Wal-Mart. I was obsessed with him. I hadn’t caught him doing anything but I knew he would. I would bet my business that he would rape again. I sat in the shadows and wondered if he ever killed a child. I mean some people commit murder and get away with it. Killing a child would have to be one of the easiest things to get away with. Who the hell killed Jon Benet Ramsey?
I had two separate lives, one where I was a normal guy and the other where I hunted a child rapist. Jimmy had never touched a kid from what I could tell but I caught him following a kid, a little boy that was about eleven. This is confusing to me but I don’t think I had the capacity to understand the mind of such a vile man.
Kari was unaware of my new obsession. It wasn’t the kind of thing you share with your girlfriend. I hated to bring anyone else into it but I told RJ. Once I wanted RJ to watch the house while I attended to business at one of the work sites. I told him the backstory and he was cool with it.
Jimmy had a habit of staying in at night. He actually was home every day by five and it was lights out by nine. He had a routine and that made it easy to follow him. His wife, Beatrice walked with a cane and she rarely left the house. His alcoholic son visited once while I was on my stake out. I had learned to blend into the neighborhood. I had a costume of sorts that made me incognito.
I was maintaining but I was all over the place. Tess was in an institution. Kari was in the dark. I was the only parent my kids had around. My sister and brother helped me with them but I was preoccupied with Jimmy Cooper. I dreamt of slitting his throat. I hated that I had so much hatred in my heart for this man. I hated that I took my Glock with me every single time I went to spy on him.
*****
I had a date to see Kari. It wasn’t really a date. She was coming to the office to see me. I had been a little distant. I was distracted but I was getting back to the old me. I had willed myself away from Jimmy. I took a break from him. I was on day three of not surveilling him. I was at work, doing my job, running my company. I was thinking of expanding but now was not the best time. Tess’ mental breakdown was a setback in many ways but I couldn’t blame her. Her Uncle Jimmy getting out of prison was unforeseen. Me falling in love with Kari was unforeseen. Like I always tell RJ, shit happens.
RJ was a
t the front desk. I was back in the office. Kari would be here any minute. I couldn’t wait to see her. She was an angel in a world full of grim reapers. She was all I needed to perk up my fiendish spirit. My spirit was weak. My mind was weak. My will was weak.
Kari walked in my back office and closed the door behind her. I refuse to give into weakness.
“Hey.” She smiled.
“Hey, is RJ still out there?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong you look stressed?” Kari walked right up to me and kissed my lips. She tossed her arms around my neck and hugged me close. She pulled back to observe me.
“I’m stressed. It’s just really busy around here.” I lied. I don’t know why I was lying to her. My stress was not work related.
“Do you want me to come tomorrow?”
“No way. I need some of you. I need all of you.” That was the truth in its purest form.
“You are still a sexy man but you look like a sexy troubled man. Is Tess giving you problems with the divorce?”
“No, she isn’t.” Tess was locked away. I didn’t want to tell Kari. I wasn’t embarrassed or anything. I was just tired of all the additional crap that was constantly popping up. Kari made me happy and my happiness had become an endangered species. I didn’t want any of my problems to rub off on Kari. I love her. Her love was one of the last things that I had to keep me sane when I wanted to go insane. I wanted to remove Jimmy Cooper from this world so I could cure Tess. So I could sleep sound. So I could insure the safety of a few children who will never cross his path. That’s if I punched his time clock.
I shifted my mental focus from me killing Jimmy to Kari. This was easy to do. She was wearing Levis jeans and a fitted pink sweater. Her ass in Levis was a beautiful sight, a sight that could charm a snake. She could charm my snake right out of my boxers.
“Well something has you tense as hell. I can feel it in your shoulders.”