Bases Loaded

by Lace, Lolah

  I have most of the stuff together but it’s a few details that need to be worked out. Jack did agree with me when I told him I didn’t want a Vera Wang dress. I know her dresses are what’s up but everybody and their sisters, mothers, cousin does a Vera Wang wedding dress. I wouldn’t be true to myself if I wore one. I want some obscure young Chicago based designer. I like artsy, unique and chic but not necessarily pricey. Plus I’m not wearing white. Pink is my favorite color. Everybody knows that. So pink dress it is.

  Toya is going to be my maid of honor. I am only going to have four bridesmaids, my brother’s wife, Sienna, Stacy my friend from high school and Mary my friend from a previous job. Robert’s was obviously Jack’s best man. His groomsmen were going to be his brother, my brother and two of his college buddies. One of his buddies was some black guy that was in the NBA. They went to college together. I didn’t follow basketball like that so I didn’t know who the guy was until I Googled him. He plays for the Indiana Pacers so I wouldn’t have known him anyway. I didn’t even know Jack had any real black friends besides my brother. Jack was always a surprise.

  I will never forget the day he shocked me with the, I cheated on you with my ex-wife revelation. I’m not holding a grudge about it. I’m just amazed at how sneaky he was. I didn’t have a clue. But Jack said he knew I was cheating so it just makes me think. It makes me watch him just as carefully as he watches me.

  My life was good. The only issue I had was my kid’s father. Lamar had been hitting on me a lot since he found out I was engaged. I’ve tried to be cool with him but he really thinks he has a shot. He thinks that we will get back together and be a family. Seriously? He’s been coming on strong and it puts me in an awkward situation because I want Trey to have a good relationship with him.

  There was only one man that could take me away from Jack. That man’s name is mud. That man’s love spell has been broken.

  Lamar had Jack fooled. Jack was acting friendly with Lamar and I hated it. They would be laughing and talking about baseball and all that metrosexual man stuff. They were two suit and tie dudes being all man chummy together. Gross. Lamar was taking Trey home with him tonight. School was out for summer so Trey was going to spend a week with Lamar.

  I hoped Jack would return before Lamar got here. Jack would flip out if he knew Lamar was getting touchy feely with me. Trey’s suitcase was packed. I didn’t like for Trey to leave me for more than two days. I worried about him. He was growing up but he was still my scootie baby nute.

  Low and behold Lamar showed up first. I opened the door and let him in.

  “I’m going to text Jack to see if he’s close by.” My first words to Lamar. I was trying to let him know that Jack maybe right around the corner with Trey. So Negro don’t get any ideas in your big ass head.

  My fingers were texting fast. My mind was screaming Jack hurry your ass home. Lamar made me uncomfortable. Being engaged made me care more about appearances and what was and wasn’t suitable behavior. Wonder if Jack’s best friend Robert will stop flirting with me now that Jack and I are to be wed. I don’t know. Robert is always joking so maybe that’s just his personality.

  After I sent the text I had to communicate with Lamar. Did I have to?

  “Hey, you got anything to drink?”

  The 7 Eleven got something to drink. “Sure, what do you want?” I walked toward the kitchen.

  “You got juice.”

  “Yeah cranberry, grapefruit and orange.” I opened the refrigerator and Lamar was right behind me, on my ass, damn near. “Back up.”

  “I want some of your juice.” Lamar grabbed my ass like that was allowed.

  I’m usually a strong chick but I just wanted to cry. I was tired of this. Damn Negro, you not tired? Shit it’s been one. I’m not interested. How many times do I have to say that shit? How many times do I have to push you off me? How many times do I have to threaten to tell my fiancée on you? I’m dog shit tired of this. I shouldn’t have to be in a complete panic in my own house. Be a father and keep it moving. Lamar is fine, Morris Chestnut, Tyson Beckford fine. There are a lot of chicks that would love to have him. I just ain’t one of ‘em.

  “Stop touching me.” I could barely get that shit out I was so tired of repeating myself.

  I heard the garage door open and Lamar removed his hand from my ass. I poured him a cup of orange juice and he had disappeared on me. He went back into the living room. I took a minute to fix my face. Which was basically inhale, exhale, breathe. I took the glass of juice into the living room.

  Jack was back with the Trey. He must have dropped Caleb off with his ex. Jack and Lamar were talking about something. I decided to drink the orange juice myself. Lamar was being his phony ass self. Jack looked over at me drinking what was now my orange juice.

  “Trey go get your stuff.” I said. Trey darted up the stairs.

  “Kari help Trey with his stuff. Lamar has to be back in Plainville by seven.”

  Does he? I didn’t say a word. I just went up the stairs. I got to the top and stopped. I’m not sure my reason but I wanted to hear their conversation. The way they talked when I wasn’t around. I started listening in.

  “How do you feel about Kari now?” Jack asked a weird random question.

  “What do you mean?”

  “If I were you I would be beating myself up for fucking up my chance with her.”

  “I’m good.” Lamar chuckled.

  “Yeah dude you don’t really have a choice now that Kari’s spoken for. I know what her pussy feels like and you do too. I know what her mouth feels like on my … well you do too. You two have a son together. I know if I were you I would try to get her back.”

  “Naw man, I’m straight. I got a girlfriend.” Yeah right.

  “Lamar, c’mon. I’m a man. You would be a fucking idiot if you didn’t try to win her back…a total stupid motherfucker. I wouldn’t blame you. Kari is the total package, looks, brains, good mother, good sex. That’s why I’m marrying her.”

  “Okay. What’s your point?” Lamar was getting pissed. I could tell by the tone in his voice.

  “My point is I understand how you may feel but Kari is off the market. I know you’re going to continue to check her out, look at her ass, fantasize, reminisce a bit, stuff like that. I get that. But touching, foul language anything else inappropriate wouldn’t be acceptable to me. I mean she’s going to be my wife. Kari is not the type to tell me anything. She thinks she can handle stuff all by herself since that’s what she been doing. But I’m here now. I have a cock and I know how it feels to want what you once had.”

  “This is a fucked up conversation.”

  “I wanted us to have this man to man talk for some time now. We have got to be on the same page in order for this to work. I think you’re cool. You’re Trey’s dad. I want to be able to call you a friend but my wife is sacred. As long as we have an understanding as men then we’re good?”

  Shit! I would pay money to see what Lamar’s face looked like at this very moment.

  After a few seconds. “We good.” Lamar said. I think I heard a clap. Did these fools just handshake on that shit. Well damn.

  How the hell did Jack even know I was feeling stressed about this Negro? See, that’s what I mean. Jack is too clever. He knows stuff. He’s sneaky. I cannot believe he just white boy checked Lamar. That shit was cold blooded, sexy, sexy, sexy.

  CHAPTER 9

  MASON

  I was back on a stakeout. I was following Uncle Jimmy. I hadn’t witnessed anything that would give me cause to worry but I had a bad feeling about him. His actions weren’t as innocent as they seemed. His walks near schools while recess was in session. His innocent lunches in the park while children were playing on the monkey bars. I didn’t buy it. He was preying on children in a slow calculated way. I wasn’t crazy he was up to something.

  Today he was walking the streets. That means I’m walking the streets. It was hot but I kept a black ski mask handy just in case. I kept the ski mask in th
e backpack I carried on my back. I had a few tools with me. My gun was securely kept in the front of my pants. I wore a baggy shirt to cover it up. I always wore sweatpants when I came out here to Long Grove. I stayed a safe distance behind Jimmy but it was a wonder that he never noticed me. He had a one track mind. That track only led to children.

  Jimmy was a distance walker. I was in a marathon almost every time I trailed him. We were far away from his place. He had stopped off at a convenience mart and I’m not sure what he purchased. I couldn’t get that close to him. I didn’t want him to realize he was being followed.

  When he left the store he started talking to a black boy that was walking by carrying a skateboard. The boy was maybe eight years old. My blood was bursting to break out of my flesh. They were walking and talking and we were on the street. It wasn’t deserted but not too many people were around.

  I wanted to kill Jimmy. I started making up excuses not to take his life. Things like he probably knows that kid. He likes little girls so he’s not going to rape a boy. He’s far from home so he’s just asking the kid for directions. He’s cured. He no longer molests children.

  Jimmy patted the boy on top of his head and I almost reached for my gun. My heart was beating fast and I had run out of excuses. My body was burning up from the inside out. I think Jimmy offered the kid something. I assumed candy but I was too far away to see the object.

  My paranoia was taking over. I started looking around for video cameras. We were blocks away from the store and I couldn’t find a video camera in sight. If I killed him I needed to get away with it. I needed there to be no proof.

  My job was my alibi but there couldn’t be any video evidence or DNA evidence. That’s why I never took the toll-way when I drove out here. I only took the streets. RJ would give me an alibi. He was the only person who was aware of my actions. RJ was a good young man. He would never turn on me. He truly believed la famiglia è la prima.

  It was really quiet in this area. Jimmy and the kid had ventured out of my line a sight. I slowly inched forward. I was hoping Jimmy went one way and the kid went the other. Sure it was daylight outside but I had no idea what I would encounter.

  I was thinking of all my options when I turned the corner and Jimmy and the black kid were gone. I didn’t see them at all. I realized that they had ducked into the alley. I back tracked and went down the alley.

  I was quietly listening for voices or any unexpected sound. It only took me a minute to hear the voices, the boy’s voice and the voice of Jimmy. They were behind a huge green garbage dumpster. I was standing and I could hear them but I couldn’t see them. I listened as I thought of what to do next.

  “I gave you candy.” Jimmy said. “Now what are you going to give me.

  “I don’t got nothing.” The little boy plainly stated. I wondered if they were sitting or squatting behind the dumpster.

  “I don’t have enough pockets for all this candy. Sometimes I keep it in my underpants.” Jimmy explained.

  “That’s a stupid place to keep it.”

  “That’s where I keep all my favorite candy. What’s your favorite candy?”

  “Twizzlers.”

  “I love Twizzlers. I think I got some in my underpants. You can have some if you get it yourself. My hands are tired.”

  I had heard enough. I wanted to puke. More than puking I wanted to beat the shit out of Uncle Jimmy. I emerged from behind the dumpster and that’s when I saw Jimmy with his pants down. I realized that I had my Glock in my hand and drawn. My face was hot. I had put the ski mask on in eighty degree weather.

  Jimmy and the kid saw me and fear was plastered on both their faces.

  “Kid. Get the fuck out of here.” The kid sat there and just stared up at me. “Kid!” The boy jumped. “Get the fuck out of here. Now!” The little boy jumped to his feet and took off running. Jimmy was sizing me up looking for an opening to charge me and take my gun. Jimmy was on his knees so getting the better of me would only be a dream and never a reality.

  I was there and things were happening but they felt like they were happening to someone else. I didn’t remember removing my gun, putting on a ski mask or taking a hammer out of my backpack. I was in a zone, a scary murderous zone.

  Jimmy was on his knees before me. I swung the hammer like it was a bat and hit him in the head. Shit. I did that. The blood was instant. He fell to his side and the red pouring from his temple oozed to the ground. He wailed in pain but I didn’t care. I kicked him in his throat and the scream turned into a choke.

  I was once again up at bat. I swung the hammer and hit his kneecap. I heard it shatter. I hit it again. It broke his knee into pieces. I didn’t need an X-ray machine to tell me this. I kicked him in the face and went for his other leg. I swing the hammer down to his knee. I heard the familiar crack. Jimmy tried to scream in pain but he was choking on his own blood. I went into frenzy with the hammer. I was aiming at his legs. I may have hit him in the cock. The blows were so rapid I was in a foggy daze. Something told me to stop. It sounded like my mother’s voice but I knew that was my mind playing tricks on me. I took a step back. I was holding my gun so tight. I looked at the Glock and raised it. I bent down on one knee and pressed the barrel of the gun to Jimmy’s forehead. He tried to look at me but the blood in his eyes was obstructing his view.

  “Jimmy Cooper, touch another kid and get a fucking bullet.” There was terror in his eyes and his fear invigorated me. I swung the hammer one last time and he was out. I didn’t think he was dead but I wasn’t going to check. Things transpired so fast. I don’t know how long I had been beating him. I paced the area for a second making sure I hadn’t dropped anything or left any DNA evidence. Once the police run this guy’s name and realized he is a convicted sex offender I would hope they wouldn’t investigate it any further. There are real crimes to investigate. A convicted child rapist getting a beating shouldn’t warrant any real police man hours whatsoever. I removed my ski mask and packed my accessories away in my backpack before I left the alley and went back out into the world.

  When I finally got home I showered. I felt good. I probably shouldn’t feel as good as I do but I do. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I haven’t felt joy since Kari.

  *****

  The next day my brother was on my ass. I was so glad I wasn’t the coach this baseball season. Mike was doing it and I said I would help him out on occasion. Hannah was no longer into it. I was secretly happy. I needed a break. I needed to get my head on straight. I had done something that I wasn’t sure about. It didn’t feel bad but I did feel like I could be spiraling down the wrong path. Mike’s son Brandon was having a game today and I told my brother I would help out. I went to a few games but I wasn’t a regular at the park anymore.

  I packed my kids up and we piled in the car. Hannah usually found some of her classmates and played with them. She didn’t pay any attention to baseball anymore. She was turning into a real girl. I guess she was always a real girl but the tomboy stage was over and done with.

  I was setting up the bases when I saw Kari. She was at the other baseball diamond across from mine. She was standing by the gate with a tall black man in a purple baseball cap. He was wearing the team’s colors. He was one of the coaches. I saw Jack walking toward them in his purple shirt. She’s still with Jack. It hurt to see it. I wished she was alone. Mike never told me Trey was on a team this year. He never told me Jack was a coach. Mike noticed them or either he noticed me noticing them. He walked over to me at second base.

  “Hey.”

  “You never said they were signed up.”

  Mike automatically knew who I meant. “I know. I played them a few weeks ago. I wasn’t sure if you cared or not.”

  “No I don’t.”

  “Good. Well Jack’s the coach and the black guy is his assistant coach. That’s Trey’s father.”

  “The black guy is Trey’s father?” I looked at the black man again.

  “Yeah, he’s cool with Jack. They seem to be
friends.”

  “Good for them.” I sarcastically said because I couldn’t really find any other words. It would be impossible for me not to steal looks at Kari from time to time. I wasn’t so stupid to lie to myself about it. I was just going to pretend to not be rattled by her. She looks happy. That hurts me. I’m miserable without her. She looks beautiful, sexy and completely over me. I looked back into the past and I can’t even figure out anything I could have done differently.

  An hour into the game Kari hadn’t once given me eye contact. Jack saw me but he didn’t give me any indication that my presence bothered him. They are a cohesive unit. I think Mike was right about the black guy. Trey was talking to him and interacting with him. He has to be his father. I don’t understand this. Jack has a relationship with him. I just don’t get it. Trey’s dad is Jack’s assistant coach. Where did he even come from? When did he appear back into the picture? He was a total deadbeat from what Kari told me.

  It was clear, there are other people living my life. Kari told me Jack was her number two. So if there was hope for me I wonder does it still exist. I can’t lie to myself. I think about her every day. I dream about her every night. I didn’t just stop loving her. I just stopped seeing her, and sleeping with her. I haven’t had sex with anyone since Kari. That’s been how many months, three, four? I don’t want to have sex with anyone that isn’t Kari. I don’t know what to do. Even if she doesn’t love me anymore, I will always love her. I haven’t given up but her number has been changed. It couldn’t be that she was pushing me away forever. I would like to think there was a good reason for the change. Maybe Jack made her get a new number. I don’t know.

  Every single chance I got I snuck a look at Kari. It hurt to see her and more than that I think I saw something that would send me over the edge. Was my mind really playing tricks on me? Once the game was over Mike and I packed up. I saw my Kari leaving the ballpark hand in hand with Jack.