My Girlfriend's a Geek, Volume 1

by Pentabu

  And I won’t deny that I’m feeling a bit of nostalgia.

  Ding-dong.

  I rang the doorbell and stepped into the apartment.

  ME: Hi, I’m ba—

  Y-KO: The gakuran!! Where’s the gakuran?!

  ME: ………

  What a shock.

  A bit hasty, are we?

  Not a “welcome back” or even a “nice to see you”?

  And have you been waiting in the entranceway this entire time?

  Y-KO: Come on!! The g-a-k-u-r-a-n!!

  ME: Okay, settle down. I’ve got it here.

  I gestured with my right arm, which had the gakuran-stuffed bag slung over it.

  Y-KO: Yahooooo!! C’mon! Get it on! Wear it now!!

  ME: Hold your horses. Oh, and here’s a souvenir from my hometown—

  Y-KO: I want the gakuran, not the souvenir! Get out that damn gakuran!!

  She seized the bag, pulling it right off my arm like a purse snatcher.

  … So you don’t even care about the souvenir I spent money on, just for you?

  Fear the fatal attraction of the gakuran.

  Y-KO: Aha… So this is the gakuran you wore in school…

  She pulled the outfit out of the bag and stared at it closely.

  “Hey, it’s ripped a bit here.” She grinned.

  Well, how should I put this?

  It was enough to make it worth bringing the thing back here.

  ………

  Which doesn’t change the fact that it’ll be embarrassing to put on, once she demands it.

  ME: … Oh, by the way, did you already bring your high school sailor uniform from home?

  Y-KO: What? Oh, you nasty, perverted boy. Of course I’ve got it! Not to worry.

  ME: Huh? Why am I the nasty, perverted one?!

  Y-KO: Ta-daa! Here’s my high school uniform!

  ME: Answer my question, please…

  Y-KO: Well, I guess I’d better put it on! Just hang on a minute…

  ME: Right.

  Y-KO: Go on. Take a shower and get changed yourself!!

  ME: Yes, ma’am…

  I grabbed the outfit and plodded off to the bathroom.

  Alas… So weak.

  The weakest of wills.

  I worked quickly and carefully,

  washing only my body and then turning off the showerhead.

  I wiped myself off with the towel I had prepared

  and looked into the laundry basket to put on the gakuran.

  ……

  It’s gone.

  I put the thing in the basket just minutes ago.

  But all that I see are my underwear and shirt.

  … Why?

  It didn’t take more than an instant to determine that it was Y-ko’s fault.

  Damn her.

  I wrapped the towel around my waist.

  I could have gone out just wearing my shirt,

  but I felt it would just be inviting pity, so I decided against it.

  ME: Y-ko, please give me my gakuran ba… ck… Why are you wearing it?!

  And there she stood,

  Y-ko wearing my old school uniform.

  Because of our height difference, the sleeves extended past her hands.

  She was also stepping on the hem of the pants.

  Y-KO: Hmm? Oh, sorry. I was just curious.

  ME: You couldn’t have waited just ten minutes…?

  Y-KO: Oh, who cares?

  If there’s a cosplay outfit around, it’s my job to put it on.

  ME: That uniform isn’t cosplay… And Y-ko?

  Y-KO: Hmm?

  ME: You wouldn’t happen to be wearing… nothing under that, would you?

  Y-ko was wearing the gakuran.

  The top button was still unfastened… but I couldn’t see any signs of a shirt on underneath.

  All I saw was bare skin.

  … Yes, it was damn sexy.

  I was in trouble. I had nothing but a bath towel fastened around my waist.

  Y-KO: Hmm? Maybe I am, maybe I ain’t.

  She shot me a supremely mischievous grin

  and put her hand on the second button.

  … No, Y-ko.

  Stop laughing and peeking at my bath towel.

  No!

  …… It’s time for my counterattack.

  ME: Y-ko.

  Y-KO: Hmm? What?

  ME: Didn’t you just say that “it’s my job to put it on”?

  Y-KO: Yeah, I did.

  ME: I guess that means it’s my job to take it off, then.

  Y-KO: Huh? Uh, what?

  And as I said that, I stretched my hands out to the buttons of the uniform.

  For an instant, she stood dumbfounded.

  Got her.

  My counterattack was a success.

  With this masterstroke, I will seize control of the situation.

  I moved on to the third button.

  Y-KO: ………

  ME: Hmm?

  She grabbed the hand I had extended to the button.

  What is this?

  Y-KO: Baby…

  She released her hand from my arm

  … and reached up to stroke my ear.

  Y-KO: Baby… Do you have to take it off?

  ……

  Um.

  … You would prefer to do it with it on?

  In that case, it is my job to see your wishes fulfilled.

  Looking back…

  2006/09/04 22:42

  Autumn, two years ago.

  I began a part-time job at an agency to which an acquaintance had introduced me.

  According to him, the work was easy enough, and the pay was good for what I had to do.

  Living as a student, I didn’t have the wherewithal to refuse the offer.

  My first day of work.

  Wearing an uncomfortable suit,

  I headed to the desk at which I would be sitting.

  Inside the office were several other people who had shown up to work before I arrived.

  As I was mulling over how I ought to introduce myself,

  a young woman slightly older than I was called out to me.

  WORKER: What’s wrong?

  … Whoa, an older lady.

  And she’s rather pretty.

  I was nervous.

  WORKER: Oh, you’re the new boy who came in for temp work… Um, **, was it?

  ME: That’s me.

  WORKER: I see. You’re going to be working for me, then.

  I guess you can call me—

  yes, how about Y-ko?

  And she smiled kindly at me.

  ME: Miss… Y-ko, then.

  It’s kind of pathetic to admit,

  but by this point,

  I had probably fallen head over heels in love with her.

  And so…

  I began my temp job working for Y-ko—

  Y-KO: Guess what? I’m not letting you go home or get any sleep tonight…

  ME: Yes, I know. By the way…

  Y-KO: What?

  ME: Do we get overtime pay?

  Y-KO: This is voluntary overtime.

  ME: As I feared…

  —We would share these conversations as we worked all night, composing documents.

  Y-KO: Hey, why do boys love girls with big boobs so much?

  ME: Don’t ask me…

  Y-KO: Well, I wish they wouldn’t leave those men’s magazines with the pinups lying around the break room.

  ME: Yeah, that’s kind of… uncalled for, isn’t it?

  Y-KO: Exactly. I wish they’d have some consideration for me and my tiny boobs. It hurts…

  ME: Don’t let it bother you.

  Personally, I value the overall aesthetic and beauty of the breast rather than the size.

  Y-KO: Okay, I know that I just described them as “tiny,” but you could be nice and deny it!

  ME: … Beauty over size is what I say.

  Y-KO: Don’t look away!!

  —We would share these silly, pointless exch
anges.

  ME: Wow, what is this place, Y-ko? It seems really fancy…

  Y-KO: Oh, don’t be so nervous. It’s just a restaurant.

  ME: I’ve never been to a restaurant that serves liquor before you get the food!

  Plus, I don’t know anything about elegant table manners!

  Y-KO: Don’t worry, let the nice lady show you how it’s done.

  ME: Y-you could have shown me before we came here!

  Y-KO: Ha-ha-ha! Your hands are trembling.

  ME: Don’t laugh at me…

  Anyway, how do you use these napkins?

  Y-KO: Don’t worry, I’ll give you a hands-on demonstration.

  ME: ……

  Y-KO: … What’s with the furious blush?

  —Sometimes she would even take me out for meals.

  … As sad as it is to admit, I was so nervous that I don’t even remember how the food was.

  Our relationship as friendly office worker and temp eventually ended,

  on a late night with a stunning full moon, as we left work.

  Y-KO: Wow, what a beautiful moon.

  ME: It really is…

  Er, Y-ko?

  Y-KO: Hmm? What?

  ME: May I hold your hand?

  Y-KO: Huh?… My hand?

  She seemed stunned for a moment.

  ME: Yes, your hand. May I?

  Y-KO: … All right.

  She hesitantly offered her little hand.

  Our fingers crossed and tangled tightly.

  Y-KO: … This makes me feel nervous.

  ME: Me, too.

  Y-KO: … Do you like holding hands?

  ME: Yes, I do.

  Y-KO: I see.

  ME: But more than that…

  I stopped still.

  She also came to a stop, one step behind me.

  I turned around, and she looked up.

  Our eyes met.

  Y-KO: … Hmm?

  ME: … I like you.

  Y-KO: … Huh?

  ME: May I kiss you?

  I lifted my other hand to trace her cheek.

  —She closed her eyes.

  Several moments later,

  after our lips broke contact, we looked into each other’s eyes again.

  Y-KO: … I just want to tell you one thing first.

  ME: … What is it?

  Y-KO: I’m an otaku. Is that okay with you?

  ME: … Huh?

  Y-KO: … Actually, in my case,

  I’m what’s known as a fujoshi… so… are you weirded out?

  ME: Uh, no. I’m just surprised. I would never have thought you were…

  Y-KO: Well, I keep it a secret from other people…

  ME: … So, what about it?

  Y-KO: Huh?

  ME: What’s the connection between me liking you,

  and the fact that you’re an otaku or a fujoshi or whatever?

  Y-KO: Um…

  ME: I like you a lot, and it has nothing to do with what you call yourself.

  And it was true.

  It didn’t matter to me whether she was an otaku or not.

  Y-KO: … Um, thanks.

  ME: Would you be my girlfriend?

  Y-KO: … Sure. I’d love to.

  And that is how…

  … Y-ko and I came to be a couple.

  Later, I would be amazed at the amount of manga in her room.

  I would attempt to put her idea for a Gundam SEED story into a novel.

  I would be shocked by her words and actions on a consistent basis,

  but we continue to live and love in a full and happy relationship.

  Sometimes my friends ask,

  “How come you talk so politely to her when the two of you are going out?”

  I still speak in polite language when I converse with Y-ko.

  I do have some good reasons, like the fact that she is older than me

  and the fact that I first knew her as my boss at work.

  But I think the biggest part is her fierce insistence that

  “Polite speech is moe!!”

  When my girlfriend is happy, I am happy.

  However, Miss Y-ko…

  When I first announced my attraction to you…

  And you gave me that disclaimer…

  I had absolutely no idea what fujoshi meant at the time.

  But.

  I’m still glad that I said I loved you anyway.

  And I always will be.

  And thus, my everyday life…

  2006/10/01 23:01

  And thus, my everyday life is full of shock at Y-ko’s words and actions,

  and I am constantly used and abused.

  It’s almost hard to believe that it’s been a full two years since we started this journey.

  Looking back, there are so many different memories that stand out.

  … But why is it that the ones I want to remember the least are the ones that show up the clearest?

  The fact that rather than the usual bittersweet memories of being young and in love,

  I only remember the downright painful memories of being manipulated by my girlfriend

  makes me feel kind of depressed inside.

  But I’m also surprised that her crazy demands and ideas are bothering me less and less as time goes on.

  It’s frightening what experience does to a person…

  … Hmm?

  What if they’re bothering me less, not because I’m getting used to them,

  but because I am slowly but surely traveling down her “path” in life…?

  … No! I don’t think I should bother pondering this too deeply.

  I’ll cut myself off at the pass right here and now.

  Now, as you have clearly seen, Y-ko continues to wreak havoc in my everyday life,

  and her fujoshi streak runs as deep as ever,

  with no signs of abating or weakening.

  She still flaunts her fujoshi nature safely in private.

  Even as I type this, she is sitting behind me,

  grinning and giggling over some BL manga…

  … Ah, I see.

  Now I realize why Y-ko’s words and actions no longer bother me so much.

  It’s quite simple, really.

  Being at Y-ko’s side and getting harassed by her crazy demands

  has become the everyday life I experience.

  My beloved girlfriend is at my side.

  That’s a pretty wonderful thing to have.

  I hope that this blissful life will continue on from here.

  I can’t deny that I still feel manipulated…

  … but even that is a happy thing to me.

  Well, everyone…

  … I hope that you’ll continue to read about my geek of a girlfriend.

  Pentabu

  * Read the continuation of this story at Pentabu’s blog “Fujoshi Kanojo Part 2.” (Japanese only.)

  http://pentabutabu.blog35.fc2.com/

  Epilogue Conversation

  What can I do to go out with a fujoshi?

  Recently, I’ve been seeing some questions in my mail folder along the lines of

  “What can I do to go out with a fujoshi?”

  So I’ll give you an answer here, but…

  Remember that fujoshi are still girls,

  and you can get close to them by treating them like any other girl.

  Invite them to movies or out for dinner, have nice conversations with them,

  and I can’t see why you wouldn’t have success.

  ME: … Plus, if you really love someone, you won’t really care about that stuff.

  Y-KO: Not to mention, normally the girl would prefer to hide her “rotten” hobbies from her boyfriend, you know?

  ME: … Strange, I thought I just heard you say something really hard to believe…

  Anyway, anything you’d want to warn about after you become an official couple?

  Y-KO: Like… accepting her fujoshi thoughts and finding out all of the things that turn her on, mayb
e?

  ME: I see. So what would those things be for you, for instance?

  Y-KO: Hmm? Well, obviously suits, glasses, all kinds of stuff.

  ME: What else?

  Y-KO: What else? Hmm… Maybe… cigarettes.

  ME: Cigarettes.

  So typical…

  Let me guess, next she’ll probably say “the sight of a man backing the car up.”

  Y-KO: I think I really have a thing for people who hold their cigarettes very elegantly. Even

  better if they take good care of their fingers and nails.

  ME: Aha…

  … Better write that down so I can practice it later.

  Wait—huh?

  ME: Uh, Y-ko, you know that I don’t smoke.

  Y-KO: Hmm? Yeah, I know.

  ME: … Can you love me even if I don’t smoke?

  Y-KO: Yeah. I hate the smell of it, anyway.

  ME: ………… Pardon?

  Y-KO: I like people who hold cigarettes fashionably, but I hate people who smoke them.

  ME: …………………

  Is this selfishness or just ludicrousness?

  What are you supposed to do?

  Sit around and eat cigarette-shaped chocolates like you’re really cool?

  … Hmm?

  ME: Why did you decide you wanted to go out with me, then?

  Y-KO: Huh?

  ME: I mean, you’ve never even seen me holding a cigarette.

  Was there anything else that factored into the decision?

  Y-KO: … These are really embarrassing questions you’re asking…

  ME: Oh, what’s the big deal? Just answer!

  Y-KO: Well, if I had to list something…

  ME: It would be…?

  Y-KO: You put bookmarks in your books.

  … Pardon?

  ME: Uh… bookmarks?

  Y-KO: Yeah. I thought that was really moe.

  You found that to be really moe?

  What a totally arbitrary thing!

  So I tried to do all these things to make you like me, and they were for absolutely nothing?

  I’m sort of shocked right now!!

  … And I can’t stand the fact that I feel relieved that I did put those bookmarks in!!

  Conclusion

  We’ve explained about various moe points that people might have, such as