They got in the car and John knew something was coming. They didn't even get out of the driveway before the questions started.
“The woman from the restaurant was the one you were with in high school,” Ethan began. “I remember seeing pictures of you two.”
“Yes,” John answered.
“Her daughter has no idea that you know her mother on a whole different level, does she?”
“Nope.”
“Talk to me, John.”
“What do you want me to say?” John asked. “There isn't anything to talk about. That was a very long time ago. We went our separate ways.”
“The looks that went on between you and her were not the looks of two people who went their separate ways. When you're ready to talk about that shit, I'm here to listen. There's something you're not telling me. I can see it. I'm not a kid anymore. You've got some major stuff on your plate lately. You need to talk to me.”
“I'm fine,” John said. “I just need to be alone. You've got enough going on with Julie. We'll talk about my problems after next week. We all need to be there for her. That is what matters right now.”
“Fine,” Ethan snapped. “Two weeks from now, we're going to talk. I want to know what's going on with you.”
The rest of the drive was quiet. John knew Ethan was pissed that he wasn't talking to him. He needed to get over it. It was bad enough Julie knew things. She knew things he hadn't even told his own brother.
John got out of the car and went inside. He was feeling stressed about everything going on in his life. They had court in just a few days. He wasn't sure what was going to happen or how Julie was going to be after that. Then there was his whole wanting to change his life thing. Add to that the woman he loved coming back and dropping a huge bomb on him. He didn't know what the hell he was going to do.
Chapter 18
John changed into a pair of running shorts and went to his gym. He blasted the music and took it all out on the bag that hung from the ceiling. By the time he was done, he could barely catch his breath, sweat was pouring down his face, hair, and chest, and he felt like every emotion was right there ready to break free. He turned off the music and grabbed his towel to wipe his face. There was a noise. It sounded like someone was at his door. He looked at his phone. It was midnight.
“Fucker can't let it go,” he mumbled, as he walked toward the door.
John had his face buried in the towel as he swung it open.
“Look, Ethan,” he snapped.
“John.”
He moved the towel and looked up. Neither of them said a word. Sandy stood before him looking totally defeated. Her face was puffy and stained with dried tears, but she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
“Come in,” he said, as he motioned and moved back from the door.
She walked in and shut the door behind her but didn't move away from it.
“I'm sorry,” she said, as she took a deep breath. “I had to see you.”
So many emotions flowed through him. Seeing her like that made him sad. He didn't want her to hurt. It sounded as if she had been doing enough of that on her own.
“I wasn't sure you would be home from your date. She was pretty. Do you like her?” she asked looking down.
“She was very nice,” he said. “We went back to Ethan's and watched a movie together.”
“I didn't mean to ruin your dinner. Kelly doesn't know who you are. She was just being nice.”
“I know,” he said. “She seems like a good daughter. Do you love him?”
“What?” she asked.
John stood tall.
“Luke,” he said. “Do you love him?”
She nodded. John took a step forward and lifted her chin in his hand. He looked into her eyes. Her skin felt so warm and inviting. John's senses were going crazy, and it felt like electricity was firing from his fingertips.
“Did you love him?” he asked.
“No,” she whispered. “We fought about that often. He always complained that I didn't care about him the way I did you. I never lied to him. He knew how I felt.”
“I don't understand why you were with him right after I left.”
His face was inches from hers. Her eyes drew him in, and he wanted to touch her.
“I don't either,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I went to a party and had some drinks. I needed to get you out of my mind. I don't even remember talking to him. I woke up next to him. I couldn't believe it. There was no way I would have been with him. I don't know how it happened. It has haunted me every single day. I love my daughter. She's my best friend. Her father doesn't treat her very well, but I do everything I can to make up for it. He's very good to our son. It hurts Kelly's feelings. I'm sorry, John. You have no idea how much I regret that I didn't leave with you that day. I should have gone.”
“Did you mean what you said? Were you going to leave when classes were over?”
“Yes,” she answered, as she looked up at him. “I was going to be with you. I wanted to be a part of your family. I wanted to help you and be there for you. I should have told you. I wanted to let you have some time with your brother alone. I never thought that you would change your mind or that anything would happen to ruin it. I loved you so much. You were my life, and I screwed it up. One drunken night ruined everything I had with you. You're all I've ever dreamt about. I've thought a million times about what my life would have been like with you. I regret it every day.”
“You're still married,” he said.
“When I left, I didn't take anything. I didn't want him to be able to use anything against me. It's taken me two years to save enough money to file for divorce. He's been served. It should be easy. My lawyer thinks I'm crazy for what I'm doing, and so do my kids. I don't want anything. There is nothing for him to fight about. It should only be a few months.”
“I don't understand. You should be able to take things from your house or at least get some of the money you made together. Why let yourself struggle?” he asked.
“I don't want any part of him. My two kids are safe. That was the only thing I wanted. They are both grown. Kyle has a job and apartment. His dad helps him. Kelly is married, and her husband is very good to her. I don't want any part of the business, bank accounts, or house. All I've ever wanted is my freedom. I have my life back. I don't care how hard I have to struggle. Not one thing I have is tainted with his lies or his charity. I may not have much, but what I do have is mine. I earned it by working hard. It sounds dumb. I know it does. Look at me. I'm forty-six, have an entry level job, a crappy car, and a tiny apartment. I wouldn't trade any of it. Not a single thing.”
She took a deep breath.
“I never meant to run into you. I honestly had no idea you lived around here anymore. I'm sorry. You have no idea how much. I've lived my entire life to keep my kids safe. I just want to live my life for me and make the best of what it has become. You have no idea how much I regret not leaving with you. It's the only thing I've thought about for twenty-seven years. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you and hoped you were happy. You've done a great job with Ethan. I'm surprised you don't have kids of your own.”
“Do you believe in love?” he asked.
“What?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Do you believe in love?” he repeated.
“No,” she said.
“Why not?”
“I need to go. I just wanted to see you. I shouldn't have come here. I won't bother you again. If Kelly contacts you about Kyle meeting Ethan, please don't tell her anything about us. She has no idea. All she knows is that you were at the accident. I'm hoping she doesn't bother you.”
He didn't step away for her open the door. Instead, he stepped closer to her with his hand still under her chin.
“Answer my question,” he snapped.
His heart was beating faster, and he could feel his muscles twitch. He was still slick with sweat from his workout. When she didn't answer, he s
tepped even closer. His bare chest was almost touching her and he could hear her breathing deepen.
“Why don't you believe in love, Sandy?” he asked in a demanding tone.
His free hand went to the side of her face against the door. When she took in a deep breath, he felt her clothed breasts rub against his chest.
“Why?” she asked. “You want to know why I don't believe in love.”
“Yes,” he said.
She stood looking him in eyes. He could feel the tension roll from her body. There was no way he was letting her off that easy.
“Tell me now. Why don't you believe in love,” he snapped.
She took another deep breath and it was like something snapped inside of her. He felt it, and they weren't even touching.
“I don't believe in it because I lost the only man I will ever love. I've spent the last twenty-seven years of my life miserable in a hell I never wanted. Love is a bunch of shit. Do you hear me? If it were true that true love could conquer anything, then I would never have lost you. You were it for me. You were my forever. I thought we were going to get married and have an amazing life together. It was all ripped away in one drunken night. A night I don't even remember. I go to sleep at night just so I can see you and feel your touch. You have no fucking idea how hard it was to look at that piece-of-shit every day and know that he had taken everything from me. So, the answer is no. I don't fucking believe in love.”
“I begged you to go with me. You didn't want any part of it,” he snapped.
“I didn't know what was going on. The thought of raising a teenager while I was still one myself scared the shit out of me. As soon as you were gone, I knew that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I had to finish the semester. My mom would have killed me if I didn't. I was going to be with you. I wanted you more than you will ever know, John. It was so hard to get up every day without you there. I let my friend take me to that party. It was wrong. I got drunk, but I never meant for anything to happen. I just wanted to numb the hurt I felt without you there. I never would have slept with him. That's why it doesn't make sense. I don't get it myself.”
“You turned me away. You gave up on us. You moved on,” John yelled. “You didn't even give me a chance.”
“What was I supposed to do?” she yelled back, as she pulled her shoulders back and stood tall in his face. “Did you want me to go to you? What would I say? You had just taken on raising a teenager. Should I have gone to you and said that I had slept with another man and gotten pregnant? Was I supposed to ask you to raise another man's child? I was nineteen. I was scared. My life was turned upside down. My mother told me if I didn't marry him she would cut me off. He was all about us getting married. There was no way I could tell you what I did. I loved you more than anything. You deserved a woman who would be there for you. One who would have went with you without a second thought. One that wouldn't be stupid enough to get wasted to the point she didn't remember having sex. I wasn't good enough for you. I loved you, John. As fucked up as it is, I still do. I will love you until the day I die.”
By the time she finished, she was no longer yelling. Her shoulders slumped and her head was down. She was broken. Just as broken as him. When she lifted her head, tears were sliding down her cheeks. He reached up, grabbed the back of her head, and covered her mouth with his. She gasped, as his body moved toward hers and pinned her against the door. John sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and grazed it with his teeth. His tongue pushed against her lips demanding entrance to her mouth. As her lips parted, he thrust into her mouth and devoured her. Her hand went to his hair, as her other arm wrapped around his neck. Their tongues danced together in a rhythm that was frantic and needy. He needed her more than he needed to breath.
John grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head. His hands went to her lace covered breasts. He couldn't help the aggressiveness of his behavior. It had been way to long for him to be slow and patient. He ripped her bra from her and rolled her nipple between his fingers. Her moan vibrated off his lips, as he pulled her harder against his mouth. There was no way her lips weren't going to be bruised when he was done. He lowered his head and took her other nipple into his mouth. Her body arched into him, as her head fell back against the door.
He slid his hand down her stomach and pulled at the button on her jeans. It popped loose before he pulled down the zipper. His hand went into her jeans and cupped her through the lace that covered her mound. She clenched her legs, as he moved the lace aside and ran his fingers along her wet path. His foot pushed between her feet forcing her legs apart. He nudged his bare knee between her legs against her heat.
“John,” she moaned.
He dropped to his knees and pulled her jeans down for her to step out of them. His hands pushed her feet apart before going to her panties. She was looking down at him when he looked up and ripped them from her body. He let out a growl before leaning in and licking her clit. The air she was holding left her lungs in one long breath. With his hands on her thighs, he spread her.
“You're so fucking perfect. So much better than I remember.”
He sucked and licked every inch of her, as he soaked up every bit of her juices that were dripping from her. He thrust a finger inside her, as he continued to suck her clit into his mouth. She moaned and took his head in her hands. Her hips ground against him. She tried to keep herself standing, but everything was so intense. He held her up as he continued his sweet torture until she cried out his name and shattered around his finger. As soon as he heard her breathing return to normal, he was on his feet.
His mouth covered hers again. She pushed his shorts down with his boxers and gasped. He pushed her body against the door with his and knew she felt his rock hard cock pushing against her belly. He took her face in his hand and continued to explore her mouth, as his other hand lifted her leg to his side.
“Are you,” he began.
“Clean,” she said through ragged breath. “And protected.”
“Good,” he said. “I need you. I can't wait another second to be buried deep inside of you. I haven't been able to get you out of my head since that night.”
“Take me, John,” she cried. “I need to feel you. I need your skin against mine. I need every bit of you.
He grabbed her other leg and lifted her. As he entered her slowly, he growled.
“You're so tight. It feels so good having you wrapped around my cock.”
When he had filled her completely, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him.
“Hold on, baby,” he said. “I'm going to fuck you hard and deep. There's no way I can hold back.”
“Give me everything you've got, John.”
He lifted her hips and slammed her down on his cock. She cried out his name, and he lost it. Her hands went to his shoulders as she rode him in time with his movements. With every pump into her, he knew she was his. He continued to lift and drop her down over him, as his name left her lips over and over.
“Fuck, John,” she cried, as her head fell back against the door.
Her back brushed up and down the door as he thrust up into her.
“Harder, baby,” she called out. “I need you deep. Oh, John.”
He thrust into her hard, as her fingers dug into his shoulders.
“I'm going to fuck you so hard that you're going to feel me inside of you tomorrow. You're going to remember who does this to you. You're pussy is mine, baby.”
He continued to fuck her harder than he thought possible.
“Yours,” she moaned. “I've always been yours. Only yours.”
She cried out his name as she came. Her pussy tightened and pulsed around his cock. He held her hips tight in his hands and thrust into her hard, as he burst into her over and over. Her body collapsed against his with her arms around his neck. He walked them through the house, up the stairs, and down the hall to his bathroom. Her body slid down his and her feet reached the ground. She steadied herself before letting go of his nec
k.
He leaned in and turned the shower on hot. She grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him. He smiled against her lips. John stepped into the shower, pulling her in with him. He grabbed the soap and began to wash her. The hot water ran down her body and over her breasts. He spent extra time cleaning them before moving his hands down. He pushed a finger into her as he washed her with his other hand. His fingers pinched her clit and she gasped, as her hands reached out for the shower walls. He pushed a second finger inside as he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked it between his teeth. She ground her hips against his hand as he fucked her with his fingers. He thrust them in deep and hooked them at just the right spot that sent her spiraling into another intense orgasm.
“Oh, fuck,” she cried out.
She continued to ride his fingers until she was able to open her eyes. He pulled his fingers from her and stuck them between her lips.
“Suck,” he demanded.
She did exactly as he requested before releasing them with a pop sound and dropping to her knees in front of him. He stood looking down at her, as she turned them so he was under the water. She took his hard cock in her hand and began stroking him. Her mouth went to his balls, as she licked and sucked them. He groaned from deep inside his chest. The sound echoed off the walls of the shower. Her tongue licked from his base to his tip. She swirled it around the head concentrating on the most sensitive spots. He loved the way she sucked him when they were nineteen, and she remembered exactly how he liked it. She took the tip of his cock into her mouth and sucked as she took him in inch by inch until he was at her throat. As she relaxed her neck, he slid in deeper. John wrapped his hand in her hair and moved in even deeper before pulling back. He continued to guide her, as he moved in and out of her mouth. She sucked him hard, and he growled out her name. With her hands on the back of his thighs, she took him in deep and fast.
“Your mouth feels amazing on my dick. Suck it harder, baby. Take it all.”
She smiled around him. He thrust in her mouth and felt like he was going to explode. John reached down, grabbed under her arms, and pulled her to her feet. He turned her around and put his hand on her back as he nudged her down.
Rescue of Love (Bachelor Billionaire #4) Page 10