“I’m not sure,” Jill looks away and bites her bottom lip. Suddenly she jumps up from her chair and looks straight into my eyes. “But it’s a pattern. Their money problems must be bigger than my P.I. discovered, and money problems can make you do stupid things.” I raise my eyebrows at her and she backtracks. “No, not you, you’re not something stupid...you know what I mean.”
Unfortunately, I do.
Jill points a finger at me. “It doesn’t matter if he meant it. He said it. And that could be enough for Diana to retract her rumor about my skin-care line. Like you said, she won’t want people thinking her husband is running back to his ex-wife. How humiliating for her.” She’s the one who begins to pace now, shaking a finger as she does. “There is no chance you’re wrong about this?”
“No. The words ‘I made a mistake with Diana, and I still love you,’ are very much etched into my brain forever now.”
Jill clasps her hands together as she fully turns to face me. “Okay, okay...here’s the plan. Tonight at dinner, I will privately ask Diana to take back the stupid rumor she started. To fess up to it publically. If she doesn’t, I’ll tell her I know a secret of Adam’s that could ruin her.”
I bite my bottom lip, nervously. “What if she calls your bluff?”
“Then I’ll just tell her what Adam said, I’ll whisper it to her so the cameras don’t catch it and see her reaction,” Jill shrugs nonchalantly.
“What if she doesn’t believe you?” I then wonder.
“Won’t matter,” Jill begins to walk away from me, to her bathroom. “If it’s true that She and Adam are having problems, it will be enough to rattle her into thinking what I’m telling her has a chance to be true.”
I suddenly have a very bad feeling about opening my mouth.
Chapter Nineteen
Tonight’s dinner is set down in the village, an Italian eatery that Armin boasted serves the best garlic bread and eggplant parmesan. The short drive down with Simon, Brooke and Jill felt like it took hours. I kept biting my nails, looking over at Jill who smiled the entire time as she gazed out the window. Neither Simon nor Brooke noticed, what with Simon going on about a restaurant in Sicily that served the world's best eggplant parmesan.
When we reach the village, it’s after six o’clock and Declan’s crew is waiting for us outside the restaurant. We file out of the van and as I glance inside the restaurants windows, I spot Reagan, Adam and Diana already seated towards the very back of the room.
What if it was a mistake telling Jill? What if Diana goes completely insane, and stabs her? After all, there was that rumor about the ex-model friend and the flying fork…
“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
I look away from the three of them inside to Declan, who’s stepped up to me. He motions for me to follow him to the front of the van, and I do.
“What’s up?” I ask him.
“I just want to...” He abruptly stops, and looks behind me as if he’s worried someone may overhear us. When he decides we’re okay, he looks back at me. “You’re walking into the lion's den. Today’s meeting with Simon and Adam did not go over well.”
“Simon never said anything,” I tell him as I glance over at my fake boyfriend. He says something to the microphone lady who’s adjusting the back of his mic box and she lets out a roar of laughter.
“Yeah,” Declan says slowly, “I didn’t think he would. He’s waiting for the cameras.”
“Do you know what happened?” I ask.
He hesitates, and looks over at Simon quickly. “Uh, I can’t really tell you…”
“Right, because you can’t interfere…” I sigh repeating his words from days ago. He gives me a tight lipped smile and it bothers me. “Except you do, when its suits you, don’t you?”
He looks taken back for a second and then his face twists into a frown. “What are you talking about?”
“Never mind.”
He steps up closer to me, “Are you talking about...what happened between us?”
“No! I’m talking about…the reason you got fired after I left.”
He looks at me confusingly. “Fired?”
“I know you got fired after I left, and I know why,” I say, trying to show limited emotion.
“I got promoted after you broke the contract, and I chucked the promotion.”
I frown at him. “You weren’t fired?”
He opens his mouth to respond when Oscar screams his name. “Declan!” We watch him wave wildly at the producer. “Get over here! Now.”
Nothing in the director's voice is friendly.
Declan shakes his head at me, disappointingly, but he doesn’t say anything else as he walks away.
Why wouldn’t he take the promotion?
“Julie?” Liz, the microphone supervisor breaks my thoughts, “You’re next. Let’s suit you up!”
We film our entrance to the restaurant about five times, and when we finally take our seats, were informed that we’re receiving the chef’s special. I make it a point to sit at the end of the table, as far away as Diana and Adam as I can. Unfortunately, this puts me closest to Oscar, Declan and the crew.
Jill has managed to get the seat next to Diana, which surprises everyone at the table but me. When the waiter comes to the table, I reach out and grab his arm, “Can you just bring the bottle to the table? Thanks.”
Simon chuckles next to me. “Thirsty?”
“Something like that…” I answer as my fingers play with the stem of my wine glass.
“I can’t believe our time together is almost done,” Brooke says. “It was such a fun trip.”
“I’d do it again,” Adam reveals and he looks at Brooke, but afterwards his eyes fall to me. “I’d do the first few days differently, though.”
“I bet you would,” Jill mutters beneath her breath. Reagan, who sits next to Jill and across from me, gives her a glance.
I can feel my back beginning to sweat. The black sweater dress I chose to wear is a huge mistake.
“What would you do differently, babe?” Diana asks, she leans back in her chair and smiles at him.
“I’d show up earlier,” Simon announces, and he smiles at everyone before he places his arm on the back of my chair. “There’s so much to do here, I feel like we missed out on a lot. I think Jules and I will stay an extra day or two…”
Never ever.
“You guys would have liked maple tree tapping,” Brooke declares. “We had a great time doing that today.”
I watch Jill look at me briefly before exchanging a smile with Brooke. “I’m sad I missed that. Julie said you guys had a lot of fun. She said the instructor was super insightful.” Next to her, Diana cringes, just a little, just enough for me to notice. “Julie said you had some trouble Diana, and he was really helpful too.”
What, is she doing? This isn’t part of the plan. Did Oscar tell her to bring up Joe?
She isn’t supposed to egg Diana on. She’s just supposed to take her aside, ask her to admit and tweet or whatever that she started the rumor about Jill and that’s it.
Diana’s eyes dart from me to Jill back to me. Her relaxed stance is gone and she sits upright, hands balled into fists near her plate. “Did she say that?”
“How helpful was this guy, exactly?” Adam suddenly inquiries, he sits up in his chair and looks from Jill to me.
My mouth has become dry. “Oh, uh, he was, well you know—”
“No I don’t know,” Adam interrupts, “because I wasn’t there.”
“Adam, relax.” Diana gives him a stern look and pats his arm gently but he doesn’t seem to notice. His eyes stay glued onto me.
For a man who claims to be in love with a woman other than his wife, he sure is jealous that his wife may have been flirting with a lumberjack. Oh, wait, I forgot, the cameras are rolling.
“Adam, I’m sure Julie didn’t mean anything by it,” Simon comes to my defense with his usual charming smile. “
Knowing her, helpful means just that. Helpful.”
Adam barely gives Simon a glance. “I wasn’t asking you, was I?”
“Okay!” Brooke cuts through the tension quickly and with a forced laugh. “Oh, who else is excited for the ice skating tomorrow? There’s also an ice castle we can go through and I thought that would be fun on our last full day here—“
“Did you flirt with him or not?” Adam’s blusterous tone shakes the table and we all look over at the couple. Diana stares down at her plate, her face contorts angrily and eyes flash with irritation. Adam leans closer to her, his right arm rested on the table and the other on the back of her chair.
“Maybe you guys should take this to the side?” Brooke whispers across the table.
“Shut up,” Adam snaps.
“Don’t tell her to shut up,” Reagan’s sudden lash out catches the entire table’s attention and she silently looks away from Adam to her empty plate. But not before giving me a small glance.
My hands have turned ice cold and with every few seconds of awkward silence that pass, I squeeze my fingers into the palm of my hands.
When I don’t think anyone is looking, I glance at the crew. Oscar grins behind the camera, whispering something to his cameraman. Of course, he loves the tension. He’s hoping Adam explodes at the table. Declan stands behind him, arms crossed over his chest, a scowl over his face as his eyes dart from Diana to Adam, and finally to me.
“Why would you even care if I flirted with him?” Diana's voice is low but we all hear her. She remains stiff as a board, her eyes fixated on her empty plate. I can see the waiter coming our way with the wine but Oscar stops him.
“Why would I care?” Adam repeats angrily. “Why would I care?”
“She probably means because you’re still in love with Julie,” Jill states, casually reaching for her water. “Or because she knows you told Julie today you wanted her back. Whichever.”
I gasp, slowly my lips part. “Jill…”
She’s blind siding me.
She’s supposed to take Diana aside, privately!
I watch my vegan friend shrug as she takes a drink of her water and sets it back down. Somehow I manage to look over at Diana, whose eyes veer into me as if daggers. Her face has become as red as mine feels and I can see her hands ball into fists again.
“Adam,” she says his name savagely but keeps her eyes on me.
I have to look away, bringing my hands to my face.
This isn’t happening.
Next to me, Simon clears his throat, “Adam, is this true?”
“Course it’s true,” Jill claims. “A blind man could see it. He came on the show to get her back.”
“Shut up!” Diana shrieks, and a moment later I hear her kick the table.
“It’s not true,” Adam’s voice is stone and I pull my hands off my face when I hear his response. He leans back into his chair and adjust his thin black tie, casually. His eyes fall onto me, and they’re emotionless.
Is he kidding me?
“Are you—are you saying she’s lying?” Diana whips her head towards her husband. “Is she lying?”
“Why would she lie?” Jill demands of Diana. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
Adam throws his arm on the back of Diana’s chair again, his eyes so cold I almost shiver from his stare. “Because she told me she still loved me and I told her I wasn’t interested. She told me Simon is a mistake and she heard you and I were having problems, so she confessed her feelings. I promised her I wouldn’t say anything but it seems Jill decided to embarrass both me and her.”
Everyone looks over at me, with the same confused but suspicious glare, including Simon.
There is no way they can actually believe him!
“I never said that!” I tell them all, and I point at Adam. “He said that to me today, when I got back from the maple syrup trip.” I drop my hand and clench my teeth as I look at my ex-husband, “You are a piece of work.”
I’m so flustered I can barely breathe, let alone think.
Diana draws in a breath and shakes her head at me. “You still haven’t gotten over it, have you? You never moved on, you haven’t changed. That is a huge lie, isn't it? This was your plan all along. To come on the show and try to get Adam back.”
“I don’t want him back!” I exclaim. “I didn’t even want him back during the divorce proceedings! And believe me, I could have had him.” I shoot Adam a glare but he looks away from me.
“You’re a liar,” Diana accuses, a finger pointed at me. “A liar and a psycho. I know you poisoned my food the first night we were here. Did you do it to get me out of the picture?”
“Let’s not start accusing people of murder,” Simon says, he motions for Diana to settle down. “Let’s keep our voices down.”
“How can you remain so civil?” Diana barks his way. “She basically confessed to Adam that she’s using you to pass the time! How can you sit here and act all normal?”
“Because I believe her,” Simon shrugs as he leans back into his chair. “I believe she didn’t say that to him.”
“I believe her too,” Jill announces and she gives me a very noticeable wink.
Their support means little at this moment and I frown at Jill to show it.
“You two are both insane then,” Diana remarks. She pushes her chair away from the table and throws the napkin that was on her lap, down on her plate. “I’m leaving. Come on, Adam.”
He looks up at her, annoyed, “I already ordered. Why do we have to leave?” He glances over at me but I can’t look at him. Everything about him makes me want to heave the table against the wall.
I push my chair back so fast it falls on its side, “Don’t worry. I’m leaving. You guys enjoy your meal.” I step towards the crew member who holds onto our coats and bags. He pushes my coat out to me and I take it, chucking the strap of my purse over my shoulder.
I don’t wait to put on my coat, I do it as I’m hurrying across the restaurant.
“There she goes,” I hear Diana remark, “running off because she’s been caught.”
Once I’m outside, I don’t feel any better.
In fact, I feel…I feel as if I may cry and I have to bite the inside of my mouth to stop my eyes from watering any more than they already have.
Nothing is going as planned. Nobody is—I can’t trust anyone on this show and I don’t know why for a split second I thought I could. Even Jill—and Simon, conspiring with my mother.
I look as desperate and foolish as I did four years ago.
Don’t cry, Julie, don’t cry.
I spot the vans, parked across the street, and I can see the drivers leaning against doors, coffee in hand. When they see me crossing towards them, they stop conversing with each other.
“Hi,” I greet them, “I need a ride back up to the lodge.”
“What about everyone else?” one of the drivers asks.
“Come back for them after,” I suggest.
I don’t give the driver a chance to respond, instead I walk around the van towards the sliding doors. I pull the doors open, and hop into the first seat in the middle of the van. I drop my bag at my feet and buckle up as the driver gets in the front seat. Just as I’m about to reach over to close the door, someone gets in my way.
It’s Declan.
He doesn’t look very amused, and I notice he’s standing in front of me without a jacket.
I let go of the door handle and drop into the seat as I look away from him. I hear him sigh, and can see him lean into the van, a hand resting above the door frame. “You have got to go back inside.”
“No,” I declare. “Why?”
“Because Oscar wants you for the full two hours.”
My eyes flutter shut. “I don’t want to go back in there.”
“I know.” His voice softens. “But you have to.”
I unbuckle my seatbelt and feel the strap slide off of me. As I turn to Decla
n, I realize that’s as much as I’m able to move. He watches me, his left foot set inside of the van now as he waits for me to move.
“I didn’t say that stuff to Adam,” I tell him.
He nods, “I know.”
It isn’t much a consolation, and with a heavy head I look over my shoulder at the restaurant through the van windows.
If I go back into there, Diana will definitely pounce, and I can’t even look at Adam.
The thought of him makes me want to throw up. I can’t believe I almost ran back into his arms. God, I’m so stupid. And lucky, that Fin and Ang stopped me.
I shut my eyes, loudly chastising myself. “I can’t believe I almost went back to that jerk-off.”
“What? When?” Declan asks. He sounds thrown by what I profess, so I look back at him and catch his bewildered expression.
“After he signed the papers,” I admit, “he called and wanted to meet me. He wanted to leave her. If Ange and Fin didn’t overhear his message on the machine, I would have…” I can’t even say the words.
Declan’s mouth closes but he exhales through his nose slowly, his dark eyes run from me to the restaurant back to me. He doesn’t know what to do, I can tell. And truthfully, neither do I.
I don’t even know why I told him about the phone call. I sure as hell can’t trust him.
“Please don’t make me go back in there.” I sound so pathetic as I beg him.
Declan sighs again and runs a hand across his growing stubble, but he doesn’t take his eyes off me. He removes his arm from the doorframe and reaches over to me. I think he’s going to pull me from the van but instead, his hand comes to the side of my face delicately.
My breathing slows at his touch, and I watch as his eyes scan my face.
Is he going to kiss me, again?
The way he looks at me is so, so tender.
He comes closer, and I feel my breathe catch. A few inches away from my face, he smiles, and his hand comes off my face. I hear something click behind me and I feel the tug against my chest from my seat belt.
He put my seatbelt back on.
He touches my shoulder as he pulls away from me, out of the van, “I guess I didn’t catch you in time.”
Reuniting Reality Page 25