Chapter Twenty
I waited for Simon to get back from the dinner before trying to go to sleep. He came back near ten o’clock and I could tell, from his pumped up demeanour the rest of dinner went as dramatically as the start.
“Oscar loved it, he said you handled it very well and he’s definitely putting the dinner scene into the first trailer,” Simon boasted. “He says he has no doubt that you and I will be the favorite of the reunion.”
“What happened after I left?” I asked him, watching as he sat down on the bed to remove his shoes.
“Well, Adam’s mood didn’t change. After you left he was his charming, snarky self. Diana barely said a word. I had to carry the evening,” Simon sighed loudly, raising his eyebrows at me. “Nobody was in great mood afterwards, Brooke was the only one interested in conversation, so it was incredibly difficult for me.”
Right, because it’s such a chore for him to draw attention to himself.
“So nothing else happened?”
“Oh no, something happened,” Simon’s smile became giddy. “I came back from the bathroom to find your friend, what’s her name again? The one with the black hair?”
“Reagan, her name is Reagan,” I replied crossing my arms over the front of my robe. “And she’s not my friend.”
“Well, she was having an argument with Diana. I don’t know what was said exactly but she stormed off, and Jill went after her. The cameras caught everything before that producer, the one who I don’t like, called ‘Cut.’”
“Declan.”
“Whatever,” Simon shrugged kicking his shoes across the room. “He and Oscar then had some words, privately. I don’t think he liked that Declan called the scene so quickly.” He rose from the bed and sighed, “I agree with him. We could have gotten more out of that dinner if he hadn’t called it.”
“Right,” I said slowly, narrowing my eyes at him.
I’ve seen Declan argue with Oscar more than once over the last week. Almost as much as I’ve seen him argue with Reagan.
“Tomorrow we meet back at the winter carnival for skating,” Simon stretches in front of me. “Then we have that spring gala party. Oscar told me it's a tradition to end the filming with some grand event.”
“Yeah, the first season we had a black tie charity ball, and the second season they all went to some governor’s party.”
“Well, in any case, it should be an interesting last day…” Simon gives me a smile, “and don’t worry. I have a grand surprise that’s going to blow Adam and Diana out of the water. I talked about it at the meeting with Oscar yesterday and he is ecstatic.”
Oscar being ecstatic about something generally doesn’t go over well for any of us.
“What is it?”
“You have to wait and see,” he laughed as he headed to the bathroom. “I’m going to call it a night, get up early to hit the gym.”
I follow him as he enters the bathroom, “Simon, what’s the surprise?”
He shuts the door in my face, snickering behind the door, “Can’t tell you!”
“But my mother knows, right?”
I waited, and a moment later, he opened the door slowly. His face twisted shamefully, teeth showing through his plump lips. “So you found out?”
“She called me,” I replied, peering at him. “I can’t believe you lied to me. After everything I told you about my mother!”
“On her assistance!” His voice shakes a bit as he points at me. “And only because she said if you knew she was involved, you would never ever do it. You wouldn’t agree to me being your boyfriend and you would have come clean or said we broke up or something.”
“I would have, yes!”
“But your mother said she could make you look better than everyone else, and she could get me an agent and my own show if I did exactly what she said,” Simon explains. “Julie, how could I not? I’m already thirty five! My career in the Olympics is winding down. I’m lucky if I even get into the training rounds next year! I’m passed my prime. I have nothing lined up for me. You have to try to understand why I agreed with her.”
I couldn’t even answer him. After the day, and the evening, I had no words.
I went to bed with mixed feelings, unable to sleep once again. Worried about what Simon has planned, what Adam will do next or…Declan.
And how he let me leave tonight, despite knowing Oscar would let him have it.
I know what I felt at the pizza parlor, and at the hotel bar.
I know what I felt in the van.
It looked like he felt it too, otherwise, why would he be doing me all these favors?
And he says he was never fired, he says he was promoted. What does that mean? Does it mean the executives were so pleased about his Adam and Diana thing because of the ratings, that they promoted him?
What if Adam’s right and he’s doing the same thing as last time? I’ve been distracted with Reagan and, and him, that I haven’t prepared myself for Adam or Diana. Was that Declan’s plan?
I scold myself for even allowing Adam into my thoughts. After what happened tonight, why should I believe anything he says? He was probably lying when he told me how he felt, knowing it would come up during filming, and knowing it would make me look like I was a jealous, insane ex-wife.
By two am, with Simon snoring on the floor next to the bed, I yank up the warm duvet over my head and pray that sleep gets me so I don’t look as wretched as I feel.
“Did you kiss?”
“No, he pulled away before anything could happen.”
“Jules...this is, I don’t know what to say…”
“There’s something else…” I’m standing a good ten or more feet away from Simon, Oscar and the rest of the crew. We’ve arrived back at Dirhurst, back at the winter carnival. The ice rink is in front of us. There are arches across the entire rink, garland weaves through them and tiny lights. I imagine it looks very pretty in the evening. I can spot Diana and Adam already on the ice. Off to the side, standing against the rink’s boarded wall are Jill, Brooke and Reagan.
When we arrived, Simon and Oscar went off among themselves and I took the opportunity to call Angie. To tell her everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours.
I’m careful to whisper as I tell her everything that happened. The last thing I need is someone over hearing. “There’s something I never told you about Declan.”
“How he was fired? Finley told me about that. Serves him right. I can’t believe Oscar would bring him back onto film the reunion.”
“No, not that.” I frown. “He wasn’t fired actually. He says he was promoted but he turned it down. He never said why.”
“Really? Why would he turn it down?”
“I don’t know.”
Angie pauses, “What else is there? That you never told me about?”
“Before I walked in on Adam and Diana, about a week before, after that big fight with Adam about moving to L.A. Declan came over with the filming schedule, Adam had already stormed out, and we ended up having one too many drinks—”
Angie’s gasp cuts me off. “Oh my God! Did you sleep with him?”
“No!” I exclaim, peeking over my shoulder making sure nobody heard. “No, we didn’t do that...we just, kissed, a little.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this?”
“I don’t know, because...because I was embarrassed,” I guess as I drop my head slightly. “I was still married and despite knowing my marriage was over, I felt, I don’t know...guilty.”
“Guilty? Jules, you caught Adam and Diana in a hotel room together. They had been sneaking around for months, and you felt guilty because of one little kiss?”
“It wasn’t just that!” I confess. I rub the space between my eyebrows with my fingers as I press the cold screen of my phone against my ear.
“What else was it?” she presses eagerly.
My hand slid
es up my forehead and I tug my long bangs away from my face, sighing. “I had feelings…” Saying the words turns my feet into jello, and gets my heart pumping. “I think I still do…”
I hear Angie exhale slowly. “Why didn’t you ever tell me this before?”
“The thing with Adam and Diana happened right after, and the divorce proceedings took over my life. I found out that Adam and Diana was Declan’s idea, then Declan showed up to support Adam during the divorce but he says he showed up to make sure Adam didn’t clean me out…I don’t know what or who to believe...” My voice cracks and I have to stop for a moment.
I feel like my eyes are about to water again.
“I can’t believe he did that,” Angie’s voice rings out angrily. “He messed with your marriage, showed up to cheer Adam on during the divorce and had the balls to make a pass at you? He’s a piece of work...Did you tell Jill this? Or Reagan?”
“I only told Jill about Adam’s confession. Neither of them knows Declan and I kissed.”
“Do you think he’s doing this all again for the show?” Angie asks me.
“Fin thinks so. And part of me, I don’t know, part of me thinks that he may be doing it again…”
This is exactly how it started last time. We were friends, spent time offset, and I stupidly confided in him about my failing marriage only to have it blown up in my face on screen, and off.
“You should ask Reagan, you said she’s spending time with him too. I think you should compare notes. It couldn’t hurt? See if he’s pulling the same kind of scheme as last time. Or flat out ask Reagan, you said she knew what Declan did back then.”
“I think she found out when Adam told everyone...”
“Wait,” Angie’s tone changes sharply. “Wait a second. Remind me, how did you find out about Declan pushing Adam and Diana together, again?”
“Adam told me, and he mentioned it to Jill back then too.” I’m being waved over by Oscar and Simon. “I have to go, Angie. Were about to film.”
“Alright, just be careful...try not to fall into anymore traps today.”
“I will, bye.”
I walk back to Simon and Oscar, where I’m patched up with my microphone. As my arms reach for the sky, I look upon Oscar, who is checking things off a clipboard he holds in his hands. “Oscar?”
“Yes?” he signs the paper on the board and hands it back to his assistant. He gives me a big, bright Italian smile. His curly brown hair brushing against his cheekbones as the winter wind blows.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, anything.”
“Why’d you bring Declan back?”
Oscar’s smile drops and he grimaces, as if I’ve reached out and slapped him across the face. “Why? Is he bothering you? He’s bothering you, isn’t he?” Oscar kicks the snow at his feet and shakes his head. “I warned him. I told him to keep his distance, I told him to stop getting so involved. Everyone else has noticed, haven’t they? Did Diana say something? She said something, didn’t she? I know Reagan has a problem it—”
I put both hands out, hoping he calms his sudden frenzied reaction. “Oscar. Stop. I’m not complaining. I’m just curious.”
Oscar’s eyes become small as he gazes at me suspiciously. “Curious?”
“Yes,” I reply.
“He called me,” Oscar finally says, “told me his documentary fell through and asked if we still wanted him. I knew you’d have a problem with it but I figured you would come around, eventually. Reagan, however, surprised us. I don’t think she’s made anything easy for him.”
“What did he do to her?”
The cameraman approaches and I step out of his way as he tells Oscar he’s ready to start. Oscar calls Simon over, and then looks at me. “He didn’t do anything to her. As far as I know, it all has something to do with you. I’ve spoken with him a few times but last night, I think I drilled it through his head. ‘Stay Away from Julie.’” He smiles proudly.
But I don’t want him to stay away from me.
Simon gets to us at that moment and our conversation turns. Oscar points down towards the ice rink, and I zone out as he gives the two of us our direction.
They’re fighting over me? Was it because I asked him to help me get more one on one time with her?
“Are we ready?” Oscar asks me.
“Ready,” I announce, and I look down towards Reagan. Jill and Brooke have already jumped onto the ice but she sits on the sidelines. I can see Declan and his crew, they’re hovering over the ice on a special contraption so they can get the action on the rink up close. Right now, and as we film our walk towards the rink, they stay focused on Diana and Adam.
Simon loops his arms through mine and begins to wave enthusiastically as we reach the rink, catching Jill and Brooke’s attention. “Hey-o! You guys look like pros!”
“Hardly!” Brooke laughs as she spins around Jill in her Christmas tree coat. “I forgot how to stop!”
I spot Jill skate away from Brooke, towards the exit of the rink, near us.
Simon gestures towards the small shack on the other side of the rink, “I’ll go get us our skates. Size?”
“Seven,” I reply and as he hurries away from me, I make a beeline towards Reagan who sits on one of the wooden benches, watching the skaters. She doesn’t look up at me as I sit down next to her, but her hands grip the bench, keeping me from sitting shoulder to shoulder with her.
“Why are you fighting with Declan?”
Reagan turns her head, and I can tell from the way her mouth opens, she’s surprised by my question. After I realize she isn’t going to answer, I decide to push her. “This whole time we’ve been filming, I’ve seen you arguing with him. Tell me why.”
“It’s nothing,” she says looking back at the rink as she crosses her arms over her chest. “And we’re not supposed to talk about this while the microphones are on.”
“Oscar told me it’s about me, you’re fighting about me,” I say directly.
“Oscar doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Reagan mutters looking down at her grey gloves.
But I want to know. “Tell me, Reagan.”
She sighs, and it’s full of annoyance that normally would cut me to the bone. “He’s getting too involved, okay? After last time, I thought he would know better. He disagrees. So every time he suggests something, I kind of snap. There. Happy? It has nothing to do with you.” Her nose twitches and she rubs her hand against it.
“You’re lying,” I guess.
“No, I’m not,” She argues, frowning.
“Yes, you are. I know you.”
I hit a nerve because she lets out a frustrated grunt and drops her hands on her knees, looking over at me. “Okay, Julie, fine. We fight about you. He’s pushy. He wants me to forgive you, to give you a break. And I…I want him to leave you alone. I want him to stay away from you.”
“What? Why?”
She doesn’t say anything, she just looks back out at the rink.
Oh my God.
How could I not have seen it?
“You like him,” I realize slowly. “You like Declan.”
“What?” she glares at me with revulsion. “Are you insane? I have a boyfriend!”
“So? There are lots of people who get feelings for other people when they’re in relationships,” I declare, and I check on Simon. He’s taking selfies with the girls in the skate rental shack.
“I don’t have feelings for Declan, please,” Reagan smirks loudly. “But obviously, you still do.” I yank my eyes off of Simon just in time to see Reagan give me a shake of the head. “I saw the two of you together five years ago and I see it now. Back then I thought that maybe it was real, and then I found out what he did with Adam and Diana and…Look. Never-mind. Drop it.” She takes her eyes off of me and watches the people on the rink.
“You were trying to protect me?” I suddenly realize.
Reagan ru
ns a hand through her long hair, but keeps her eyes ahead. “I heard about what he did, how he pushed Adam and Diana together. Then I remembered all the times you guys would hang out, and I put two and two together. He was using you, when you were vulnerable, and because of it, you shut us out. You shut me out. He was supposed to be your friend and he crapped all over it, so you thought I was the same…”
I turn to completely face her. “No, Reagan I never thought that. I never thought you were using me, or that our friendship was fake. I always knew you were kind and honest. I just couldn’t handle what happened. I was broken, and every part of that show would remind me of how stupid I had been. So I pushed you away.” I take a breath. “I regret that, every single day.”
She doesn’t look at me. Instead, she casts her eyes at Declan, and it makes me glance over too. He’s walking off the ice rink, making sure to stay out of the camera’s way, to where Oscar stands off the ice.
If Reagan even suspects Declan’s using me then…Oh God.
I’m the biggest fool there ever.
“I feel so stupid. Because I thought...I thought maybe he wasn’t like that. I thought maybe he felt what I felt. I thought maybe, that when we kissed four years ago it’s wasn’t because of the wine or beer. That maybe I was wrong, maybe it did mean something for him because there have been moments during this reunion, when I’m alone with him that feel…” I don’t have the heart to finish, and foolishly, I look down at the boots on my feet.
“You kissed him?” Reagan asks.
“A few days before I caught Adam and Diana,” I reveal. “I never told anyone about it back then, not even Adam. When Adam told me what he did, I realized it was all part of his scheme for the show.” I sniff back a sudden runny nose. “Maybe Fin’s right, maybe he’s just trying to get back the promotion he threw away. And I feel so stupid because I kissed him again the other day, or rather he kissed and I got caught up in—” I stop short when I see Reagan staring at me, confusingly. “What?”
“Are you sure Adam doesn’t know that?”
“Positive.” I chuckle then, as my eyes skate across the ice to look at him and Diana. “I’m pretty sure he would have killed me, or him.”
Reuniting Reality Page 26