Careful of the Company You Keep

by Angie Daniels

The waiter arrived and Kayla ordered a virgin drink. As soon as he left, she clapped her hands merrily together. “Well, I’ve got something for all of you to gossip about.”

  Leave it to her to try to change the subject. “What?” I asked.

  “Jermaine proposed.”

  “What?” We all squealed like teenagers.

  Nadine’s smile returned. “Oh my goodness! When did this happen?”

  “Last night. I’ve been dying to tell someone but I wanted to tell all three of you at the same time.” Kayla reached inside her purse and removed a platinum three carat diamond ring and slipped it onto her finger. She must have taken it off before walking into the restaurant. That’s definitely what I called bling-bling.

  I was impressed. “Hell nah! That shit is blinding!”

  Kayla was beaming with pride. “This ring is so heavy I’m afraid my finger is going to fall off.” She giggled.

  Nadine gave her a scolding look. “Shame on you. I am so happy.”

  “So am I. I never thought this day would come.”

  “Let me see.” Danielle reached for her hand and took a closer look. “It’s beautiful! I knew there was a man out there for you. You just needed to find him.”

  Tears started running down Kayla’s cheeks. “I know. Jermaine is the best thing to ever happen to me.”

  My eyes started to burn and I frowned. “Quit before you make me cry.”

  “Shit, she’s going to make us all cry,” Danielle replied as she dabbed at her eyes.

  Kayla was one of my closest friends. She had come from a dysfunctional household with a mother with low self-esteem and a habit of letting men use her. Kayla and her sisters inherited her traits. Kayla went through life letting men take advantage of her and ended up with two lowlife baby daddies. After a dead-end relationship with a shady Baptist minister who ended up murdered, Kayla finally came to her senses and realized love had been standing right in front of her. She was just too stuck on stupid to notice until five months ago.

  The waiter returned and took our orders. We’d been coming to this authentic Mexican restaurant for so long I knew the menu by heart. By far, El Maguey has the best margaritas and tamales in town.

  “So when is the big day?” Danielle asked after our waiter moved to put our order in.

  Kayla rested her elbow on the table, wearing a dreamy smile. “I don’t know. We talked about getting married in September, but I really don’t know if I can wait that long.” She paused and dropped her eyes to the table. “I’m afraid if I don’t marry him tomorrow something is going to happen and I’m going to lose him.”

  I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes. “Kayla, that man loves you. Shit, the size of your ring proves that. Quit thinking so negative.”

  “I know. I know. I just can’t believe that something this good is happening to me.”

  “Well, believe it, girl,” Danielle said with encouragement.

  Kayla gave us an uncomfortable look, then reached for another chip.

  That’s Kayla for you. Always thinking that she doesn’t deserve any goodness in her life. That’s from years of fucking around with a no-good penis-dick minister who told her that her fat ass wasn’t worth a damn.

  Kayla is a big girl. Always has been. But she is a beautiful woman, especially on the inside, even though she doesn’t think so. Hell, look at Mo’Nique—that sistah is fat, but so beautiful and confident and can dress her ass off that you forget about her size and all you notice is what’s on the inside. Kayla has so much going for her. She’s got a vanilla complexion, gray eyes to die for, and long cinnamon hair. She’s just a healthy girl, but like I tell her all the time, men like a woman with a little meat on their bones. Hell, look at me, I’m thick—ass, legs, and no breasts.

  Nadine touched Kayla on the arm. “It’s your big day. When would you like to get married?”

  Kayla shrugged.

  “How about a June wedding?” Danielle asked as she tapped an acrylic nail on the table.

  She frowned. “No, my cousin’s getting married then.”

  “Okay, how about July?” Nadine suggested.

  I nodded. “July is nice. It’s also one of the busiest times of the year. If you’re going to do a July wedding, then we’re going to have to start planning right away because March is right around the corner.”

  Danielle agreed. “Yep, that’s five months away.”

  “I’ll help.” Nadine was so excited you would have thought it was her gay ass getting married.

  “Hopefully all of you will help me,” Kayla replied, then glanced around the table. “I can’t do this without my three best friends.”

  We all nodded in agreement.

  Here it was, one of my best friends was getting married while my ass was one step away from divorce. I guess I could be a party pooper and say marriage is for the birds, but I know that isn’t true. I just haven’t found the right man yet. But damn, how long is it going to take? My ass has already been married three times.

  4

  Renee

  We ate, drank, then made plans to meet over the weekend to start planning the wedding. I headed home and glanced down at my phone, and John’s number flashed on the screen. “Die, bitch!” I screamed. What the hell did he want? As usual, I let it go to voice mail.

  I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being scared. Hell, after years of fucking around on my husband, then wondering what the hell I was thinking when I agreed to marry him in the first place, here I was finally free and I was scared shitless. Now don’t get me wrong. The last thing I needed was to be married to a booty bandit. Nevertheless, here I was at thirty-eight, starting over and nervous about failing my children. I’m a failure at love. After three husbands, I just wasn’t in a rush to go down that road again. Mario was my high school sweetheart; we lasted long enough to conceive two kids. The second one was military. I was married to Troy six months before I discovered his stupid ass was also married to someone else. And then there’s John. Other than the legal formalities, as far as I was concerned, he and I were through. But his calling me was just making matters worse. I wanted to move on and start a new life, but his punk ass just wasn’t willing to let me do that.

  After I caught John and Shemar together, he moved into an apartment while I stayed in the house long enough to sell it. John tried to reconcile, but my attitude was we didn’t have shit to talk about except how to split the money.

  When I moved back to Missouri, I purchased a three-bedroom house on the north side of town. Smaller than I was used to, but it was all mine and I didn’t have to share it with some booty-bandit mothafucka. Hell, my ass is even working a part-time administrative job on campus. Having a job took some getting used to, but at least I have the flexibility to work on my erotic novels when there isn’t shit else to do in the office, and I like that. Which reminds me, I have a book due in three months and need to put some fire under my butt if I’m going to meet my deadline.

  I turned onto my street and noticed a black woman was standing off to the side waving her hands frantically in the air. I pulled up beside her and rolled down my window.

  “Sistah, can you help me?”

  I took in her Goodwill wardrobe and the slobber running down the side of her mouth. Her eyes were as yellow as her teeth. Ugh! I leaned back in the seat. That bitch better not slobber on my Lexus. “Help you with what?” I tried to focus on her eyes and not her mouth, but that wasn’t easy to do.

  “I don’t get my food stamps until Friday and need some money to get some vegetables.”

  She looked like she was ready for her next crack fix. “Sorry, I don’t have any money. I’m trying to hang on until payday.”

  “Okay.”

  I was amazed at how easily she gave up. Anyone on drugs would have kept begging and pleading until I either cussed their ass out or gave in. Instead, she turned and walked up the gravel driveway to a raggedy duplex that looked like it had seen better days. I drove off feeling guilty because I had almost fifty dollars in my
purse and enough in my checking account that I could have spared five dollars. But I knew that she would be like a stray dog. Once you gave her something, her ass would keep coming back.

  Even though I drove off, she was heavy on my mind. I don’t know, but something in her eyes reminded me of my mother. Bernice Brown was bipolar with a crack habit. I haven’t seen her since Tamara was five. We were all at Big Mama’s house having Christmas dinner when my mother came waltzing in drunk and smelling like a skunk. Mom had been MIA for the last six months. My aunts and uncles all acted like it was every day she came in carrying a half-eaten sweet potato pie. My older sister Lisa and I stopped eating and glanced at one another. Mama was in rare form that day. Singing, laughing, talking loud, obviously she had stopped taking her meds. Big Mama refused to believe anything was wrong with her daughter and moved to the kitchen to fix her a plate. After dinner, Mama disappeared again.

  It had been a pattern since we were teenagers. One day we came home from school and found a note on the door that said she went to Washington, DC, to find work. It was two months before she returned, and by then my stepfather had come down to take Lisa and my younger brother Andre back to Chicago to live with him. Paul never liked me, so I wasn’t invited to go. I stayed in the house until all the utilities were turned off, then moved in with my kids’ daddy, who was jealous and possessive. I put up with him for four years. Then when he started trying to beat me upside my head, I decided it was time to go before I spent the next twenty years behind bars for murdering his ass. That was a lonely time in my life. My mama gone, Lisa and Andre far away. My stepfather never cared for me and rarely let me see my brother and sister and screened my calls. I heard him once say he didn’t like me because “she acts like her damn daddy.” I found that ironic since I didn’t even know my real daddy. He had been murdered when I was too young to remember.

  Our relationship has been strained ever since, and while Lisa was alive she did everything she could to try to bring me and my stepfather together. Even when she was struggling with ovarian cancer, she made me promise to reach out to Paul and I tried, for Lisa, but now that she’s gone, I wrote him off like a bad debt. As far as I was concerned, I couldn’t care less if I ever saw either of my parents again. Although it would be nice to at least know that my mother was okay.

  I pulled into the garage then stepped into the house where my kids were sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly.

  My sixteen-year-old daughter, Tamara, sprung from the chair. “Mama, you ready to go driving?”

  I rolled my eyes. I’ve been slowly teaching Tamara how to drive, but after she ran my car through the garage door two weeks ago, I don’t think my nerves could take it. “Tomorrow. I’ve been out drinking.”

  She turned her nose up at me. “You’re always getting drunk.”

  “Girl, be quiet. I ain’t had a drink all week.” I’ll admit I’ve been drinking a lot more lately. Shit, I’m stressed. But what the fuck? I’m married to a fag.

  I looked over at my tall eighteen-year-old son, who was probably stealing money from the bank while Tamara’s back was turned. “Quinton, I thought you were working tonight.”

  “I was, but it was slow so they sent some of us home.” He worked at Popeyes Chicken.

  I shrugged, grabbed my mail from the table, and let them get back to their game.

  “Mama, John called my cell phone looking for you!” Tamara called after me.

  Ugh! I wish that booty bandit would leave me alone. I fell back on my bed with a scowl and stared up at the ceiling fan above me. What I needed was some dick. It was time for a girls’ night out.

  5

  Danielle

  I spent Friday evening arguing on the phone with Mama. It’s been five months and nothing has changed. I still can’t understand how she could take sides with Portia when it was clear who was in the wrong. Is Mama not understanding what she did? My daughter had lied about sleeping with my boyfriend and had pretty much ruined my life. No, she can’t come back and live with me. Is she crazy? That would be like Portia getting her way. As far as I’m concerned, she can just keep on staying with her daddy.

  As promised, Alvin filed rape charges, and just as I had been trying to tell his dumb ass all along, Portia waited until the day before the case was to go to trial to admit she had been lying. Told you so!

  Ron was released, which was a good thing. I was all prepared to testify on his behalf even though he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.

  My friends think I’m stupid for turning my back on my daughter, but I don’t agree. Portia’s lies caused me to lose my soul mate. I would do anything to have him back. Really. If Ron called and told me he’d take me back, I would have him. I know he isn’t perfect, but Ron is everything I love in a man. A thug to his heart. He knows the streets, and let’s not forget the brotha is no joke in bed. Sure, he had a bunch of kids, and bitches be calling me at all hours of the night. I dealt with the BS because I believed my man was worth it. The only reason we weren’t still together was because my daughter had described my man’s dick. Not too many brothas running around uncircumcised, but Ron was one of the few. Not that it affected his performance in any way.

  The last five months have been miserable. I feel lost without him. Even though I have a new man in my life, all I think about is getting back with him. I’ve left him messages. Dropped by his mother’s house, but he never responds to any of my advances. I know after five months it’s time for me to try and move on, but it’s hard.

  I reached in the back of my closet looking for something to wear. I hadn’t been out in months and it was definitely time for me to get out of the house. With Ron and Portia both gone, unless I was spending time with Calvin, I was usually bored and lonely. Yep, I was definitely ready to get a drink. Who knows, maybe I’ll meet someone new tonight to take Ron off my mind.

  Yeah, right.

  In a small town like Columbia, Missouri, there wasn’t anyone worth meeting because chances were they had already gone through half the skanks in town. And after my breakup with Ron, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to handle another thug just yet. Right now I needed a dependable, no-stress relationship, and that was Calvin.

  Speaking of Calvin . . . I glanced over at the clock. He was prompt and should be calling just about . . . now. I reached over and grabbed the phone before the second ring.

  “Hello, may I please speak to Danielle?”

  I rolled my eyes. He knew good and damn well I was the only one living in the house. I didn’t know why he always tried to act all professional and shit. Sometimes it pissed me off so much.

  “Hey, Calvin. How’s the conference?”

  “Long and boring.” He’s a university police officer and was in California attending a CSI training seminar. “I can’t wait to get back and hold you.”

  I smiled. “Me either.”

  “What do you have planned this weekend?”

  “Me and the girls are going out tonight.”

  “Don’t have too much fun,” he warned with laughter in his voice.

  “I won’t. Are you doing anything fun tonight?”

  “Me and a couple of the boys are going out and Regina’s tagging along.”

  I chuckled. Regina was the new administrative assistant in the department and had a mad crush on Calvin. “Maybe I need to be worried about you being in Cali with another woman,” I teased.

  “Sweetheart, you don’t have to worry. There’s only one woman for me.” His voice sounded sexy as hell. “I can’t wait to get back on Sunday. I hope you’re ready.”

  “Ready for what?” I asked as if I didn’t already know.

  “You know what.”

  I chuckled. “I’ll be ready.”

  “Good. I’ll call you tomorrow, love.”

  “Okay.”

  Calvin was such a nice guy. And so faithful that I never had to worry about him messing around. Regina didn’t have a chance in hell of taking my man from me. Damn, if only I
could love him the way he deserved. We’ve been together over six months and I’m crazy about him and the sex is good, but my feelings for him are nothing like what I felt for Ron. If I could feel like that with Calvin, I would have the perfect man. I wanted that heart-stopping, can’t-be-without-my-man feeling that I used to have. I like a man who knows the streets and doesn’t have a problem telling me what he wants in and out of bed. I’m not sure if anything other than a thug would ever do. Some people saw it as a problem. I saw it as simply having a preference.

  6

  Renee

  Tonight was not at all like I had planned. Kayla didn’t want to go out because she was going to spend the evening with her fiancé, and Nadine and Jordan were too busy making baby plans. What the fuck! Couldn’t either of them put their lovers aside for just one night so that the four of us could hang out for old times’ sake, but noooo, and I had to go out with Danielle by my damn self. I knew the minute I told her the other two weren’t going what club she was going to pick.

  Athena’s.

  I can’t stand that place, but without my cheering team to back me up, it was either go with her or go out by myself.

  It was after eleven when I stepped through the doors, and immediately I felt like I had just stepped inside Chuck E. Cheese’s. Nothing but a bunch of goddamn kids. What the fuck? That’s what happens when you live in a college town. Students were back after a three-day weekend, and everyone was out trying to get their drink on. I walked in, late of course. Danielle had paged me an hour ago to tell me she was heading over early so she could get a table. So she was in here somewhere.

  I strolled in wearing a long-sleeved blue-jean jumpsuit and four-inch gold platform shoes. I’ll admit the music was jumping and people were everywhere. I could barely get through the door. As I moved around the room looking for Danny, I saw a few cuties looking my way and even smiled at one until I noticed the sweatshirt he was wearing said RBHS Class of 2005. Rockbridge High School. What the hell? He was nothing but jail bait.