Coming Home For Christmas

by Julia Williams

  Gabe whistled for Patch, and they set off up one of the sheep paths.

  ‘She was somewhere up this path last time I saw her,’ he said.

  Marianne pulled her scarf around her, and tucked her hand into her gloves, and she followed Gabe out into the twilight.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  ‘I came here to think,’ said Dan. He looked put out to see her, and it made Pippa feel melancholy. Time was when they couldn’t bear to be apart. Time was when this was their favourite place in the world.

  ‘About?’ asked Pippa.

  ‘Life,’ said Dan, ‘and how it turns out.’

  ‘Not how you expect usually,’ said Pippa, with a sigh.

  ‘No,’ said Dan a little sadly. ‘Why are you here?’

  ‘I needed to clear my head,’ said Pippa.

  ‘Oh,’ said Dan, ‘I thought you had everything sussed. The farm’s sorted, the woods are saved, you’re doing fine on your own …’

  ‘What?’ said Pippa. ‘What on earth makes you think that?’

  ‘You,’ said Dan. ‘You ditched Richard and have managed brilliantly on your own. You’re so capable and clever, you’re clearly better off on your own.’

  ‘I never said that,’ replied Pippa sadly. ‘Anyway, you’re doing better than me. At least you’ve got Andrea.’

  ‘Andrea?’ Dan said, looking confused.

  ‘Andrea? Your new girlfriend?’ said Pippa, herself confused now. Unless … She looked at Dan suspiciously. ‘Does Andrea actually exist?’

  Dan looked a little sheepish.

  ‘Um …’

  ‘Why on earth did you make up a girlfriend?’

  ‘Why do you think?’ asked Dan.

  ‘Dan, I honestly haven’t a clue,’ said Pippa. ‘I haven’t understood a single decision of yours, or known what was going on in your head for the last two years. Certainly not where matters of the heart are concerned.’

  ‘I was jealous that you were coping so well and I wasn’t,’ admitted Dan. ‘I thought you might stop feeling sorry for me, if you thought I was attached.’

  ‘What?’ said Pippa, sometimes he was so dense it made her want to thump him. ‘Did you have a bang on the head? Oh, sorry, you did, didn’t you? You are daft.’

  ‘I am,’ said Dan.

  ‘And incredibly stupid,’ said Pippa. ‘You can’t see what’s right in front of you.’

  ‘I can’t?’ said Dan.

  ‘No,’ said Pippa, and this time she felt sad. ‘It’s never been about Richard. I thought for a while it might be, but I was kidding myself. I know you felt you couldn’t be the husband I needed after the accident, and I know we’re divorced now and I’m buying you out, but it’s always been about you. Dan Holliday, wherever you are, whatever you do, I will never stop loving you. I’ve tried, and I can’t. There, I’ve said it. I’m sorry if it upsets you, but it’s how I feel.’

  There was a huge silence and Pippa felt incredibly stupid. What had she done? Time after time, Dan had made it perfectly plain, that he wasn’t interested anymore. And she’d just laid her soul bare.

  ‘Oh Pippa,’ Dan said, ‘I’ve been such a bloody idiot.’

  Suddenly arms were wrapping themselves around her, pulling her in.

  ‘Oh god,’ he said, ‘I’ve missed you so much. I thought I’d bring you down, that you were better off without me. But this year, seeing you getting on with your life, and seeing how little you needed me, it’s been torture.’

  ‘Did you think I wanted to get on without you?’ demanded Pippa through tears that wouldn’t stop falling. ‘You bastard, Dan, you bloody bastard. All I’ve ever wanted is you. I could have coped with anything with you beside me. But trying to save the farm alone – it’s been hideous.’

  Suddenly she was furious with him, and she couldn’t help herself from raining blows on his chest. How dare he put her through all this, how dare he?

  ‘How could you, Dan? As if the accident wasn’t bad enough, you had to bloody well leave me, when I needed you most.’

  She sobbed, and pulled herself away from him.

  ‘Pippa,’ began Dan.

  ‘Don’t,’ said Pippa, ‘just leave me alone,’ and she stumbled away. She didn’t care where she went, she just had to get away …

  It had started to snow as they walked up the well-worn sheep path that took them to Gabriel’s top field.

  ‘With any luck, she’ll have found the shelter up there,’ said Gabriel. ‘I hope so, I really don’t like the idea of her giving birth out on the hill.’

  He’d barely spoken to her since they’d left the house. Marianne had been quite glad of the silence. She wasn’t sure she had the energy for a big debate. The day before Christmas Eve and they were out rescuing sheep. Should they be rescuing their marriage too?

  They trudged slowly up the path in the gathering twilight. Gabriel calling out softly to the sheep. There were very few sounds on the hillside, the cawing of crows and the faint murmur of the brook were barely all they heard, and the snow seemed to be muffling them anyway.

  ‘What if we don’t find her?’ said Marianne.

  They were both used to these paths, but it was getting dark quickly, and a bitter wind was whipping up. From experience, Marianne knew how quickly a blizzard could blow up here. She didn’t want them to get trapped in the dark.

  Gabriel paused and looked around him. Conditions were definitely worsening.

  ‘We’ll give it half an hour,’ he promised. ‘And then we’ll turn back.’

  In the event they didn’t need to. Within ten minutes, they had reached the sheep shelter, and Gabriel ran forward as they heard a faint bleating sound.

  ‘Thank god,’ said Gabriel, and ran to the ewe’s side.

  ‘Is she ok?’ asked Marianne in alarm. The ewe didn’t look happy, she was panting heavily and her eyes were rolling in a very distressing manner.

  ‘She’s very weak,’ said Gabriel, looking anxious. He felt her tummy. ‘I think she’s ready to give birth. Let me feel.’

  He reached inside the ewe and looking grim said, ‘Damn, there are two of them, but the legs are the wrong way round. This is going to be tricky …’

  He rooted around in his bag, and found some rope.

  ‘Remember how to do this?’ he said, with a grin Marianne hadn’t seen for a long time.

  ‘I do,’ she said, vividly remembering the time they’d helped deliver twin lambs, many moons ago. She shivered. That time one of the lambs had died. She hoped that wasn’t an omen, ‘Come on, hand me the rope.’

  The snowstorm was raging all around them, but Marianne was scarcely aware of the cold as they worked on oblivious. Nothing mattered except getting the babies out safe. All her energies and focus went on that.

  It seemed to take a worryingly long time, but eventually the first baby slid out relatively easily, and was soon suckling on his mother, but the second one was more reluctant. Gabriel tied the rope around its legs, but twice it slipped away. Gabriel looked grim, and Marianne feared the worst, not again, please no. It had been so horrible the last time this had happened. Please let them be able to save this lamb.

  ‘Nearly there,’ said Gabriel. ‘I’ve got the legs. One two three …’

  With a lurch backwards, Marianne pulled the rope, and they both tumbled to the ground. Gabriel stood up holding a tiny bundle in his arms. Within minutes, it too was suckling from its mother. Gabriel and Marianne kneeled back in the straw in satisfaction, watching them.

  ‘Way to go, Mrs North,’ said Gabriel.

  ‘I think it was all your doing,’ said Marianne.

  ‘I couldn’t have done it without you, though,’ said Gabriel.

  ‘I suppose not,’ Marianne smiled.

  ‘In fact, I can’t do most things without you,’ said Gabriel. ‘I’m sorry, Marianne, I’ve been crap these last few months. Can you forgive me?’

  He looked so sincere, Marianne wanted to hug him, but she was still angry with him for what he’d put her through.


  ‘I’m not sure I can forgive you for being a total pillock,’ she said. ‘Watch my lips, there is and never has been anything going on between me and Luke Nicholas, I hope you’ll believe me now.’

  ‘I believe you,’ said Gabriel. ‘I was so angry about everything, it was an easy accusation to make.’

  ‘Maybe you’re forgiven just this once,’ she said, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek.

  ‘And about Steven,’ he said. ‘I was wrong and you were right. I know it’s not relevant now, as Eve’s leaving, but he is old enough to make his own mind up about things. I should listen to him more.’

  ‘You should,’ agreed Marianne, giving him another kiss. Gabriel, her kind compassionate Gabe, was back and that was all that mattered.

  The ewe moaned suddenly and Gabriel leant over and felt her. She was shivering all over.

  ‘Is she ok?’ asked Marianne.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ said Gabriel, looking worried. ‘Oh god we’ll never get the vet up here in this, and we can’t carry her down the hill.’

  In the event, they didn’t need to, as the poor thing gave a shudder and died.

  ‘Damn, damn, damn!’ said Gabriel. He hated losing sheep, and took it terribly personally.

  Marianne looked out at the weather, which had worsened. She touched his arm softly. ‘You can’t do any more for her,’ she said. ‘I don’t mean to sound callous, but we need to get the babies back.’

  ‘Yes, we should,’ said Gabriel. ‘We’ll have to leave her here for now.’

  They moved the ewe into the corner of the shelter, and then picking the babies up, they tucked a lamb each inside their coats, and got up to go.

  Marianne felt hers all wriggly and warm close to her skin. Despite the sadness of the moment, it gave her a warm glowing feeling. There was nothing nicer and cosier than holding a newborn lamb in your arms. It gave her hope that there was always a bright future on the horizon.

  ‘Come on, Marianne,’ said Gabriel. ‘Let’s go home.’

  ‘Mum, how could you!’ Mel was fuming, she’d been up in her room on the phone for hours and her eyes were streaming red.

  ‘How could I what?’ said Cat in surprise. Where had this come from? It was a long time since Mel had been so angry with her.

  ‘Do that bloody TV programme online?’ said Mel.

  ‘What’s wrong with it?’ asked Cat, feeling bemused.

  ‘You never told me Lou Lou was going to be in it,’ she said.

  ‘I’m sure I told you,’ said Cat.

  ‘But not that she was going to be an internet sensation,’ said Mel. ‘Did you know it’s gone viral?’

  ‘Yes I’d heard but—’ Cat looked at her daughter. ‘Wait a minute. What is the problem here exactly? Is it a boy?’

  ‘Yes it’s a boy,’ spat Mel. ‘A boy who thought I was Melanie Carpenter, an A level student, and has just discovered I’m Mel Tinsall, daughter of Cat Tinsall and mother to Louise Tinsall.’

  ‘You’ve got a boyfriend who doesn’t know about Lou Lou?’ said Cat in disbelief.

  ‘Not anymore, I haven’t!’ said Mel. ‘Thanks a bunch.’ She grabbed her car keys, slammed the front door and left the house in a hurry.

  ‘Mel!’ Cat shouted. ‘At least put a coat on!’

  The weather was looking decidedly iffy. It was the day before Christmas Eve, and snow was predicted.

  ‘Mummy?’ Lou Lou came tottering into the kitchen.

  ‘She’s gone out, poppet,’ said Cat, trying to be cheerful but feeling quite worried. She wondered whether she should send James after Mel, but decided to give her half an hour’s grace to calm down.

  The half an hour nearly up, the doorbell rang, much to Cat’s relief.

  ‘Mel!’ she said, flinging the door open with delight. ‘Oh.’

  Standing on the doorstep was a young man, looking very awkward and embarrassed.

  ‘Er, hello?’ said Cat, wondering who the hell he was.

  ‘Hi,’ said the boy, ‘you must be Mrs Tinsall – Melanie’s mum?’

  ‘And you are?’

  ‘Will Harris,’ the boy introduced himself. ‘Is Melanie in?’

  ‘No, she’s not,’ said Cat. ‘And I’m not sure when she’ll be back.’

  ‘That may be my fault,’ said the boy. ‘I think I overreacted a tad.’

  ‘If you mean you just found out who Mel really is, no I don’t think you did,’ said Cat. ‘I’ll try and ring her to let her know you’re here.’

  ‘She’s not answering my texts,’ said Will miserably.

  Just then the phone rang.

  ‘Mel?’ said Cat eagerly.

  ‘Mum?’ said Mel. ‘I’ve got a bit lost, and it’s dark and snowing, and the car won’t start. And I don’t know where I am.’

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  ‘It’s ok, Mrs Tinsall, I’ll go and find her. I’ve got GPS on my phone,’ said Will.

  ‘Yes but you don’t know the roads around here,’ said Cat. ‘I’ll come with you.’

  ‘James,’ she said, ‘you’re in charge. Can you ring your dad and let him know what’s happening. I’ll call you when I have any news. Come on, Will. The sooner we’re out there, the better.’

  She followed Will out to his car, as the snow swirled round them in thick angry flakes. This was a horrible night to be out. Mel hadn’t got a proper coat with her, she wouldn’t have anything to eat or drink. Cat felt sick to the pit of the stomach. She hoped her daughter had the sense to stay in the car. She’d freeze to death outside.

  As Will headed out of town towards the road that wound up to the top of the hill, Cat rang Mel again.

  ‘Mel, have you any idea where you might be? Which direction did you drive in?’

  Mel sobbed and said, ‘I drove up to the top of the hill to look at the view,’ – immensely sensible as it was getting dark – ‘and then it started snowing and I must have taken a wrong turn …’

  ‘Right, go this way,’ Cat instructed Will to take the road that led to the top of the hills.

  ‘Any idea where you took the wrong turn?’ said Cat to silence. Bugger, she’d lost the signal. She rang back twice, to no avail, while Will skittered dangerously on the road.

  ‘Go easy,’ she said, ‘it can be lethal up here.’

  She was about to try Mel again, when her phone rang.

  ‘Mel, thank god,’ she said, ‘I lost the signal. Are there any landmarks you recognise?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ sobbed Mel, ‘I skidded and the car’s in a ditch.’

  She sounded completely hysterical and it was all Cat could do not to join her. Mel’s car was in a ditch?

  ‘But you’re not hurt,’ she said, forcing herself to stay calm.

  ‘No-oo,’ sobbed Mel, ‘just cold and frightened.’

  ‘Take a deep breath, and stay calm,’ said Cat, ‘can you remember anything that might help us?’

  ‘Wait, I think there was a crossroads,’ said Mel.

  Crossroads? Crossroads?

  Bingo! Suddenly Cat knew where Mel meant, but the road up the hill was slippery and it was slow going.

  ‘Be very very careful,’ she said to Will, ‘you need to go this way.’

  It was nearly half an hour before they found themselves on the top of the huge stretch of hills. Cat tried to rack her brains as to how far away the crossroads was.

  Will was proving a bit of a find. He seemed the rugged outdoor type, and completely unfazed about the situation they found themselves in.

  ‘So you and Mel?’ Cat was driven with curiosity to ask, now that she felt a little less anxious.

  ‘She’s not mentioned me?’ said Will, looking hurt.

  ‘Well to be fair, it doesn’t sound like she really mentioned us,’ said Cat, ‘let’s just say I think she was trying to keep her two lives separate.’

  ‘We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months,’ said Will.

  ‘And?’ said Cat.

  ‘And I saw your TV programme. I recognised you from o
ne time when you came to pick Melanie up from college. I had no idea you were famous or that Melanie had written a book.’

  ‘Or had a daughter,’ added Cat.

  ‘Or that,’ said Will. He sighed. ‘I didn’t handle it well.’

  ‘I’m not entirely surprised,’ said Cat. ‘She is silly, she should have told you.’

  There was a pause, and then Cat said, ‘But Mel has had a hard time of it. Her previous boyfriend treated her very badly. Don’t be too tough on her.’

  ‘That’s why I’m here,’ said Will. ‘To say sorry, and see if we can’t give it another go.’

  Well, I like you, thought Cat.

  They were coming up to the crossroads Mel had mentioned, and Cat started to feel anxious again. Which fork would she have taken?

  Their first attempt was a mistake and Will nearly reversed into a ditch, but then they took the second fork, and halfway down the road, half covered in snow, was the forlorn sight of Mel’s little Ka.

  Will parked up and got out of the car. Cat followed at a distance, not wanting to get in the way. Mel opened the door to her car and looked at him in shock.

  ‘Will?’ she said

  ‘Oh Melanie,’ he said, ‘I am so sorry,’ and they threw their arms around each other.

  Cat looked on in relief. Her daughter was safe, and had apparently regained a boyfriend. All was well with the world.

  ‘Do you fancy Christmas at ours?’ she said.

  Pippa strode off in a fury, vaguely aware that it was getting dark, and maybe she should turn back. But she was so mixed up and angry, she didn’t care. After all that Dan had put her through in the last couple of years, now he had to tell her how he felt. Now, when they’d been divorced for the best part of a year, and she was finally making a life for herself. He was a, ‘Pig!’ Pippa shouted suddenly to the snowy wasteland around her. ‘Imbecile! Idiot! Bastard!’ She let out a long stream of invective and frustration. Why, why, why? Why did he have to say all this now?

  But you’re pleased, really, a little voice in her head said, just a little bit. No, Pippa’s fury answered her, I’m livid. But he still loves you, the voice persisted. It seemed to have taken on an annoying sing song tone. ‘Not listening,’ Pippa said out loud, as she strode onwards. It was dark now, very dark, and the snow which had been falling steadily all afternoon was piling up in drifts. This was stupid. She ought to get home, where she’d left the boys in charge of Lucy. It was unfair on them to be out so long.