We won’t be able to keep this up forever. They’re gonna know something’s up when they don’t see any of my things around the place when they come and visit. Yeah, it hurts. I’m not gonna be around. It’ll be like I don’t even exist. Well, okay. It won’t be that bad, but pretty damn fucking close.
“Soon,” she answers before climbing out the driver’s side. Yeah. I’m not so sure I believe her either.
All things considered, the short time we spent together in Salem went pretty well. It was just like how we were before. We talked, we laughed, she snored, I laughed some more, and I was enjoying being there with her. I was looking forward to spending another night alone with her in her room tonight, but because of Paul and Diane’s surprise, we’re not gonna have the opportunity to do that now. Nope. Tonight I’ll be alone in my room, and she’s gonna be spending the first night in our new place on her own.
They told us they bought the house right after they found out that Alexis was expecting, but they didn’t mention anything before now because they wanted to get the place up and together so it would be ready for us to move straight into. It’s an extremely generous gift, and the relief over Alexis’ face when she realized that she no longer needed to worry about where she was gonna live was a really good thing to see. I just wish I was the one who could’ve done this for her, and not only that, I wish I could be here with her like I was always supposed to be.
A tapping sound on the passenger side window brings me out from my thoughts, and I see Diane standing on the other side of the door, waving her hand around impatiently. Alright, let’s get this over with.
I unfasten my seatbelt and go over to join them on the sidewalk. Alexis throws me a smile, but doesn’t keep the eye contact for long, and we walk side by side behind Diane and Paul as we make our way along the pathway and up onto the porch, “You’re both going to love this!” Diane clasps her hands together excitedly as we step inside.
It’s decorated in neutral colors, and as we walk around the ground floor, I notice that there’s already some furniture and a few finishing touches in each of the rooms. Hell, they even have coffee mugs on the counter top and magnets on the refrigerator, “Well, what do you think?” Alexis’ father wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Could you see yourself living here?” Not the right question, Paul. Not the right fucking question to be asking me right now.
When I don’t answer right away, I see the look of worry crossing over Alexis’ face, “You know what?” I keep my gaze fully fixed on her the whole time. “I could. I really could.” He pats my shoulder a couple of times before heading over to join Diane in the kitchen. Alexis comes to step beside me and offers me a small, yet sad smile.
“Thank you,” she whispers and goes to walk away, but before she has a chance, I reach out and gently grab a hold of her arm. She pauses, and looks right up at me with a questioning look entering her eyes.
“I wasn’t lying,” I answer, my mouth now forming in a tight line, a seriousness evident within my tone. I drop my hand away from her, but she stays standing beside, studying me for a brief second.
She opens her mouth and goes to speak, but I shake my head and walk back toward the hallway. I think I need to take a couple of minutes away so I can try and get through this bullshit, “Don’t be sneaking off upstairs without us!” Awesome. Trust Diane. “We want to see the look over your face!” Yeah, we know.
The four of us make our way on to the first floor, and I follow them toward one of the white wooden doors just along from the top step, “Surprise!” Diane and Paul say in unison while opening up the door. They step to the side to give us room to walk by them, and Alexis walks in first, with me following closely behind her.
Wow. Just. Wow.
“Oh my God,” Alexis says, lifting her hand up to cover her mouth as her eyes dart around the whole room. “This is …”
“Unbelievable,” I mumble, and slowly walk further inside. Yeah, this room is fully furnished right down to the set of plush toys that have been placed on the shelving over on the opposite wall.
Seeing everything in its place is starting to make this whole fucking thing so much harder to deal with, and it takes all of my will not to say something. If I do then I know I’m gonna sound like an ungrateful son of a bitch. I’m thankful. I am. But, seeing all of this is just making me feel like the biggest loser in town. Why? Well, that’s easy. I should be the one taking care of her. I’m the one who was supposed to build the crib for our baby. Me. Not them. Me. I wanted to be the one to do all of these things.
“There’s a rocking chair over in the corner because we thought it would come in useful for when you’re feeding through the night, or day, whichever!” Diane walks in the room and heads straight over to sit down. “The first few weeks will be exhausting, but I’m sure you’ll both do just fine.”
Alexis nods her head slightly, briefly glancing toward me before walking over to gaze out of the window, “Me and your mom used to take it in turns. I’d do a couple of nights, and then she would do the next two. It worked out well for us that way.”
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I can’t do this. It’s too much. I’ve gotta get outta here, “I left my cell in the car,” I mumble under my breath, and head out the room and back down to the ground floor.
Alright, I get that they don’t know what our circumstances are, but I couldn’t stay in there and listen to them going on and on and on about all that shit. I just couldn’t.
“What’s wrong?” Like she really needs to ask me that. “Brandon?” Alexis walks up behind me when I reach the main door, and rests her hands on my shoulders.
I spin around to face her and she takes a step away, “I can’t do this, Alexis. I can’t be in the same room as them when they’re saying all of that stuff. I told you I was alright with this, but I’m not. I’ve never been alright with this.” I wave my hand between the two of us.
“I understand that it must be hard for you to pretend—”
“Don’t you get it yet? I’m not! I’m not pretending. I never have been and I never will be!” I grind out in a harsh whisper, and notice that she instantly flinches away. Resting the back of my head against the door, I let out a sigh and close my eyes. “Look, I’m sorry. I just … I wanted to be the one to do all of this for you.”
“No. No, I’m sorry,” she shakes her head, and then quickly glances over her shoulder before bringing her eyes back to mine. “I’ll tell them that you had to go or something. I’ll say that work called and you had to go and help out.” What she’s suggested will work for today, but what about tomorrow? Or the day after? Or the day after that? I shake my head and push myself off of the door. Once I’ve grabbed a hold of the handle, I glance over my shoulder and see the sadness seeping into her eyes again. “Thank you for trying.” Her voice is small, and she wraps her arms around herself before turning around and heading back toward the stairs.
“Hey, Alexis?” I call after her, and see her pause on the second step before she hesitantly turns back around.
“Yes?”
“I packed one of my shirts inside your bag,” I begin. Nope. I’m not gonna let it lie. “I thought you could smell it before you climb into bed tonight, so you’ll be reminded that I’m not the only one who’s finding this whole thing completely fucked up.”
I don’t wait for her to answer me because I don’t need to. She knows exactly what I’m talking about. Do you remember when she came to pick me up from my apartment and I caught her doing something? Yeah, well, she was clutching one of my shirts in both of her hands, and holding it up to her face. Yep. She was smelling my shirt. Now go ahead and tell me that she’s not missing me as much as I miss being with her.
“Brandon?” I hear her shout out to me when I make it through the front gate. “I’ll call you later.” I nod once before heading back toward my apartment.
She’ll call me.
Chapter Thirty-Two
SIX WEEKS LATER
What I wouldn’t give
to have just five minutes alone with that motherfucker. He shouldn’t be allowed to breathe for what he’s done.
It’s the day of Neil’s hearing, and I already took to the stand to give evidence a couple of hours ago. During that time, he kept his eyes firmly aimed downward. He didn’t even have the balls to look me in the eye when I had to retell and live every single detail about what happened that day. My leg’s jiggling uncontrollably, and my fists are clenched by my sides as I watch Alexis step down from the witness stand.
She did well up there. Really fucking well. Yeah, she was nervous. And, yeah, I could see how much she didn’t wanna be up there, but she stayed strong. I thought she was gonna cry a couple of times, but she didn’t. She held it together. Damn, she’s a lot stronger than I’ve ever given her credit for.
She takes a seat beside me, in-between me and her father, and when I turn to look at her, I see that she’s looking straight ahead. There’s no emotion over her face. There’s nothing at all. Good. Don’t let him see how much this is killing you, beautiful. He doesn’t deserve to see how much pain he caused her. How much he caused us. That motherfucker deserves to die.
We haven’t spoken to each other today. We haven’t been able to. I saw her arrive a little after eight this morning with her father and Diane, but we had to be kept separated until we’d given our evidence. Do I wanna pull her into my arms and make this whole thing go away? Of course I do, but I know that I can’t, at least, not yet anyways.
She moved into the new house the same weekend that we visited Salem, and yeah, she called me. In fact, she’s been calling me every day since, and we’ve even spent a few evenings together. I offered to cook dinner for her over at my place one time, and she accepted, though I don’t think she’ll be stupid enough to accept such an invitation in the future somehow. Yeah, I burnt it. Again. We ended up having a takeout instead. But, I tried. And, I’ll keep trying until I take my last breath if it means I’ll even have the slightest chance to make things up to her.
The judge calls time on the case for a lunch break, and I glance around when I see and hear people beginning to stand and exit through the different doors around the room. The whole courtroom is packed. You know who I feel sorry for the most? His parents. They came to watch this whole thing play out. His mom was sobbing, and his dad kept his arm wrapped around her the whole time. I bet they didn’t even recognize their son standing over there.
When I go to stand, Alexis grabs a hold of my arm and when I look down, I see her shaking her head and still staring directly across the room, “Look,” she tilts her head forward, and when I glance over, I see them taking Neil down some steps in cuffs. “Do you think he has any idea what he did to us?” Her voice quivers, and her eyes snap fully closed for a second.
I sit back down beside her, and lean forward so she can see me when I go to speak to her, “Listen, he’s up next. It’s not gonna be pretty. He’s gonna be asked about every little detail. They’re gonna go into a lot of things, and I don’t think it would be a good idea if you were here.” She nods, but still doesn’t look at me. “I think you should go home.”
“I’m staying. He hurt me just like he did you. He was my friend. I want to know why he did this, and most importantly, I need to know what happened to my mom.” She answers determinedly, and I can see that she’s already trying to fight back the tears.
“Alexis, you’re six months pregnant. There’s no way in hell that I’m gonna let you witness any of this.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she grinds out. She grabs her purse from off of the floor beside her feet, stands, and then heads straight over to meet her father at the top of the stairwell. “How? How are you keeping so calm about all of this?” She asks as she turns around to face me again.
“Me? Trust me, inside I’m burning with rage. But, I don’t want him to see what he did. It’ll make him happy knowing that he got to me, and I don’t wanna let that happen. You want me to show him how I really feel? Do you? Because I can let my guard down, and I can tell and show him exactly what I’m thinking, but I don’t wanna give him the satisfaction.”
She nods, and I can see that she’s trying to smile, but she really doesn’t need to try and fool me into believing that she’s okay. I already know that she’s isn’t.
We have an hour before he takes to the stand. Because I only gave evidence just before Alexis, I wasn’t able to see anything else that happened before I went up. There was a couple of witnesses acting against Neil before me, but we’re both none the wiser as to what went down. I guess we’re gonna find out soon enough, because next? Next up is the prosecution, and Neil will be answering their questions.
I really wish that Alexis would go home and wait. It’s not like it’s gonna do her any good in staying here. We’re not even gonna find out how much jail time he’s gonna get. It’ll probably be at least a week before the sentencing hearing takes place.
“There’s a coffee shop next door,” I tell her as we near the entrance doors of the building. “You need to eat something.”
“I’m not hungry.” She says quietly, and now that we’ve stepped out onto the sidewalk and into the daylight, I can see just how exhausted she really is.
”Did you have breakfast this morning?” I whisper, and see her shake her head while her hands rest over her stomach. “Then you’re eating.”
Between me and her father, we managed to persuade Alexis to eat some fruit, though I wasn’t overly happy that she only had an apple and a couple of strawberries. But, I guess that it’s better she had them than nothing at all. We sat in silence for the most part, and I just sat back and watched as she drifted off into her own thoughts.
Both her father and Diane tried to make light conversation, and it got a little awkward when they kept asking about how we’re both getting on in the house they bought for us.
“Go home and I’ll call you,” I plead with her when we’re about to walk back inside the courtroom. “Please, Alexis? This isn’t gonna do you or the baby any good.” I sigh in defeat when she walks straight by me, and I watch as she opens up the door before making her way through to find herself a seat.
This is it. We’re about to find out exactly what happened all those times. Not only has Neil been charged with what he did to me that day down by the lake, he’s also been charged on suspicion of the murder of Alexis’ mom, and Holly. Yeah, you heard right. After all this time, someone actually came forward with a witness statement, and they admitted that Neil was guilty of all of those things. Who? I have no idea. The cops wouldn’t divulge any further information.
Neil’s mom is looking right at me, but when she sees that I see her, she immediately looks away and hangs her head lower. She had pity in her eyes, but in a way, it’s her who deserves to be pitied. Her son, the one she always looked out for, cared for, turned into a complete fucking monster.
I take a couple of deep breaths as the judge introduces the prosecution, and from the corner of my eye, I see Alexis starting to grip her seat with both of her hands. I wish she didn’t choose to stay here for this.
The room is filling up again as I take my seat beside Alexis, and the whole place goes quiet as Neil approaches the stand.
You’re gonna pay for this you fucking son of a bitch.
***
“We’re here,” her father says as soon as he parks the car in the driveway. It’s a little after seven in the evening, and the drive back to her place was quiet to say the least. Diane is sitting up front, and me and Alexis are in the back.
“Alexis?” I reach over and stroke my fingers over her tear streaked cheek, but she doesn’t respond. She just sits there. It’s almost as though she’s oblivious of where she is or that I’m even here.
Out of all of the charges he was up against, he was found guilty on one. One fucking charge. The rest? Lack of evidence and conflicting statements got them thrown out of the courtroom. I’m actually quite surprised they didn’t throw me out at one point. You wanna know why? Well, I’ll
tell you. That fucking scumbag smirked directly over at Alexis when the prosecution started to ask him questions about what happened the night leading up to her mom’s death. As it turns out, Vinnie was a witness. For the prosecution. Yeah, I know. It’s hard to believe, huh? Well, I guess he bargained with them somehow. Neil pleaded not guilty to every single charge, and I suppose they must’ve offered Vinnie a lighter sentence if he was to testify against him. He’s still bound to get time for the crimes he committed, but I’m assuming he won’t get merely as long a time inside as he would’ve had he not helped with a few of the details.
Alexis twists in her seat to face me when her father and Diane climb out of the car, “Did you see the …? Did you see the way he looked at me when …? He … all the times he … I can’t deal with this… I-I-I—”
“Hey, come here,” I release her seatbelt and bring her over to sit on my lap. Even though she’s six months pregnant, she’s still pretty light and I wrap my arms around her waist, bringing her closer to me.
“He hired someone … to … to run her off the road but when she didn’t die from the impact … he went back and made sure … he slit her throat, Brandon. He slit my mom’s throat!” I tighten my grip on her, and pull her head down until she’s resting her face against my chest. She’s crying hard, but I have no idea what I can do to help her. We stay like this for a little while, and when her breaths finally even out and her sobs become lighter, she leans away from me until she’s looking directly into my eyes. “She saw everything. Vinnie told the judge that she was awake! She would’ve known … seen him, and….”
“I’m sorry,” my voice cracks, and the lump in my throat feels like it’s grown to the size of a tennis ball or something, “I’m so sorry.” I tell her, and she rests her forehead against mine before closing her eyes. I stroke my fingers through her hair, over and over again, only stopping when I see the rain starting to hit the windscreen.
“Come on, it’s starting to rain and your father and Diane are waiting by the door,” I tell her, and reach over to open up the door closest to us. “Let’s get you inside.”
Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged) Page 34