I close my eyes and lower my head, breaking the contact, “Sure.” I say and step away, letting out a sigh before raking my hand casually through my hair. All-fucking-most. Her face drops, and I think I just made it more than obvious what I’d hoped she was gonna do. “Let me know if you need me to bring you anything up.” I offer, and she throws me a small smile before turning away and walking through to hallway.
Time.
***
I check my watch and let out a sigh. It’s already midnight, and I’ve been sitting in the living room ever since Alexis went to take a nap. I was hoping that she was gonna wake after a couple of hours and come back down to join me, but she didn’t. I was sure that I heard her moving around upstairs a couple of hours ago, but I must’ve imagined it.
I grab the remote from off of the arm of the couch beside me, and aim it straight at the television, turning it onto standby mode. I figure she’ll be up in her room until the morning now so there really isn’t any point in me waiting any longer for her to come back down.
Switching off the lights first, I head into the kitchen and then down the hallway, making sure the doors are fully secured before heading up to my room. When I reach the top step, I pause right outside Alexis’ room. Knowing that she’s this close, but at the same time so far away, isn’t gonna make this easy for me.
I head into my room, and once I’ve taken off my shirt and stripped down to my shorts, I climb on the bed. Pulling the blanket over me and laying back until my head is fully rested on the pillow, I stare out the window to the right of the room. I don’t have any drapes up yet, and the light from the full moon is shining directly in.
I turn onto my side and close my eyes, but it’s too quiet in here. I’m not used to this kinda silence when I go to bed at night. Living in the apartment was completely different to this. Located right in the city and above the bar, there was always some noise to distract me. Being here, in the suburbs, there’s nothing at all to keep me away from my thoughts. Restless is most probably the best way to describe how I’m feeling.
“No!”
What the fuck was that? I bolt upright, and automatically reach for the table lamp beside my bed. A couple of seconds pass by, but I don’t hear anything else. I take a couple of deep breaths as I lean over to shut the light back off.
“Stop!”
No, I didn’t fucking imagine that at all. I leap out of bed and head straight out of my room. That was definitely Alexis screaming. I don’t even think twice about knocking on her door. There’s no way I’m gonna give whoever’s in there an option of knowing I’m here.
“Leave her alone!”
I switch on the light, but pause right in the doorway. My mouth falls open, and my chest tightens when I see Alexis thrashing her head from side to side against the pillow. Shit. I jog straight over and kneel down beside the bed. Tears are streaming over her cheeks and she looks pained.
I reach out, and gently place my hand over her forehead as I lean in, “Alexis,” I whisper, and take a hold of her hand. Her fingers are gripping at the bed sheet and her breaths are heavy. “Alexis, wake up.”
“Stop!” Her eyes open up wide. “No!” Her piercing screams are starting to awaken the burning anger that I’ve been trying to suppress ever since that day. No. Don’t let it get you this time. She needs you. Calm. You need to stay calm and be there for her.
“Ssshh,” I try and soothe her, and she snaps her head to the side when she realizes she’s not alone, her eyes wide. She sits up and lifts her hands up to cover her face. “It was a dream. It was just a dream.” I stroke my fingers through her hair, trying to reassure her as I go to sit beside her, pulling her into my chest when she starts to cry.
She’s shaking and gripping onto me with everything she has, “I hate him,” she sobs against my chest. “I hate him!” Her voice is filled with anger and her whole body is tense. You know what? She’s been doing a pretty good job in hiding her feelings right up until now. Obviously I knew this would be affecting her, but I had no idea she was like this at night.
“You’re not the only one, beautiful,” I rock her from the side to side in my arms, and feel her shoulders starting to relax into me, her breaths calming some. “How long?” I ask, grinding my jaw from knowing that he’s still consuming her thoughts and affecting her in this way.
She pulls away, and reaches over to grab a handkerchief from off of the nightstand. Shrugging her shoulders, she wipes her eyes, and then brings her gaze back to me, “I don’t know … um, since the court case, I guess.”
“Your mom?” Stupid question to ask, I know. Of course she was having night terrors about what he did to her mom. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“How would it have helped if I had?” she counters me, shrugging her shoulders while wiping her fresh tears away. “Five years?” She shakes her head, stands up from the bed, and walks over to the trashcan in the corner of the room. “I’m sorry I woke you.” Once she’s disposed of the handkerchief, she heads back over to the bed, climbs back in, and settles back down. I reach out and bring the blankets over her, resting my hand on her ever-growing baby bump.
“Try and get some rest,” I tell her, lean forward, and press a soft kiss onto her cheek before I go to stand back up. She seems to have calmed down a lot, and I don’t wanna be outstaying my welcome. I know she’s alright now, and that’s enough for me.
“Brandon?” I hear her quietly say my name when I switch off the main light, and pause by the door before turning back around. “Will you stay? It’s just you help to make everything go away.” She wants me to stay with her? I can do that. Yeah. Yeah, I can.
I walk slowly back toward her and sit down on the bed, “Do you want me to just stay until you’ve fallen asleep?” Please say no. Please tell me I can lay beside you all night.
“No … I want you to sleep beside me tonight,” she whispers, and moves the blanket over for me to climb in beside her. “And every other night.” Thank you, God. I close my eyes, and sense her watching me while a smile forms over my mouth. “Hold me, please?”
I turn on my side, pull the blankets over the both of us until they’re waist high, and wrap my arms tightly around her waist as she turns away from me, “Thank you, Alexis.” I whisper in her ear, and she wriggles into me, her back firmly resting against my body.
It doesn’t take long until her breathing evens out, and she’s soon fast asleep. Me? I don’t think I’m gonna be able to catch any sleep tonight. Why would I want to? I’ve got Alexis in my arms and I’m back in her bed. The only place I wanna be. The place where I should’ve been all along.
Chapter Thirty-Four
TWO MONTHS LATER
“Brandon.” Huh. “Brandon, wake up.”
“Mmm,” I partially open my eyes, and see Alexis’ outline next to me. She’s kneeling down beside my side of the bed, and I lift my arm out to her, trying to bring her closer to me. “What time is it?”
“Time to have a baby.”
“WHAT? Are you serious?” The bright light from the lamp she’s just switched on blinds me for a couple of seconds, and I glance over to the alarm clock when my eyes finally adjust. It’s three fifteen in the morning. Time to have a baby. Time to have a … “Well, shit! Alright, um … what? I mean, what—?”
She stands, and notice that she already has her case down beside her feet, “We need to get to the hospital. The contractions are closer together now, and they’re only four minutes apart.”
“Four? Shit, Alexis! When did they start?” I leap out of bed, and start darting from one end of the room to the other.
“Since lunchtime.”
When she answers me, I twist around, and shake my head disbelievingly, “Since lunchtime? Then why the fuck have you left it … thirteen fucking hours? Are you kidding me?” Oh man. There’s no way in hell I’m gonna be able to deliver the baby myself!
She shrugs her shoulders, and heads toward the door, “The nurse said not to panic until they’re regular.” H
ow does she look so calm? Why am I the only one who’s a little bit concerned about this?
“Well, it would’ve been kinda nice if you’d at least told me!” I rake my right hand through my hair, and take a couple of deep breaths. Alright, that’s a little better.
Keys. Keys. Keys.
Found ’em.
“Alright, let’s go have a baby!” I toss the keys in the air as I walk by her and out into the hallway. When I reach the top step, I notice she isn’t following me. “Alexis aren’t you coming? It’s gonna be pretty hard to have a baby if you’re not gonna be there, y’know?”
She pokes her head around the door, and I can see a smile etching over her lips. Tell me she isn’t playing me. Tell me she didn’t do all of this just for her own fucking amusement. “Brandon? Do you not think that it might be a better idea if you maybe put some clothes on first?”
What is she talking abo—? Oh.
***
The drive over here should’ve taken a lot longer than it actually did, but I swear, I kept to the speed limit. At least, I think I did. There was hardly any traffic, anyways. Alright, that’s a lie. The streets are still busy at three thirty in the morning, but come on, Alexis is having our baby. We had to get here as fast as we possibly could.
Stubborn. That’s what she is. She should’ve told me when the pains started. But, no. She had to leave it right up until the last minute, and I think we’re cutting it a little fine, don’t you?
I usher Alexis through the automatic doors, and straight up ahead toward the baby unit, my hand firmly placed on the small of her back, “Nurse!” Surely the woman up ahead heard me calling her. Why in the hell didn’t she even bother to turn back around? “Hey! We got a baby over here!”
I glance down at Alexis when she digs me in the ribs with her elbow, “Brandon will you please stop?” she grimaces in pain, and squeezes her eyes shut. I shoot her a small smile, and look away. I was only trying to help. “It’s fine, I know you’re excited.”
Excited? Well, that’s one way of describing it. Or she could’ve said anxious. She maybe could’ve even thrown in clueless while she was at it.
We turn down a corridor on the right, and see the desk just ahead, “Can I help you?” The clerk asks as she steps around to meet us.
“Well, I sure hope so. My girlfriend here is having a baby.”
She glances between the two of us before her eyes land back over on me, “I can see that.” Did she just smirk at me? “Let’s get you up on one of the beds so we can take look.”
“Take a look at what? You can see she’s having a baby. Is her overly large stomach not enough proof for you?” I don’t think I like her.
She narrows her eyes on me, and I’m damned sure she just threw a sympathetic glance over to Alexis, “We need to see how dilated she is.”
We start following her, and I never once remove my hand away from Alexis, “How what?” I ask, but she keeps walking, and I notice Alexis leaning closer to me before she whispers in my ear. She’s telling me that they need to see what size her … oh. Of course.
We make our way into a small room, and I help her up onto the bed. She lays back, and she’s practically panting now, but not in a good way. I think I prefer when she’s panting after I’ve given her —“How are you feeling?” Way to go, nurse. You just totally ruined the images I was having of Alexis sprawled naked across our bed.
Well, I guess I should say something, “I think I’m okay. Maybe a little on the warm side, but …” Why is she looking at me like that? She’s hardly welcoming is she? You’d think with the profession she’s chosen to work in she’d be, I don’t know … a little more compassionate maybe?
“She wasn’t talking to you,” Alexis pipes up, and I see her shaking her head at me before she turns back to the nurse.
“Right. Sorry,” I take a seat on the edge of the bed, and grab a hold of her hand, placing it in mine before slowly stroking my thumb across the back. “So, how are you feeling?”
“I’m okay,” she answers, resting her head back some more while inhaling a sharp breath. “It hurts.” I can only imagine. The size of something so big coming out something so tigh— y’know what? I think you know what I was about to say.
I notice the nurse pull on some gloves as she comes to stand at the end of the bed, “Could you maybe sit on the chair just over there?” She asks me, and I see Alexis nod at me with a small smile.
“Okay, honey. I’m just going to see how far into this you are,” she starts to explain, and I sit forward, resting my chin in my hands while my eyes dart between the two of them. “Alex, I’m going to need you to open your legs a little more.”
“Hey, that’s my line,” I chuckle, but the warning glare I receive from the both of them isn’t so amusing. “What? I’m just trying to lighten the mood.”
As more time passes by, the louder her screams become with each contraction. I wish there was something I could do to help, but I have no idea what’ll help take the pain away. She’s fully dilated. Actually, she has been for the past couple of hours. I knew that this wasn’t gonna be a quick thing, but she’s looking more exhausted with each one she has.
In between the contractions, she’s been closing her eyes while trying to steady her breathing, and listening to the nurse’s instructions whenever she’s needed to. Me? Well, I’ve just been sitting here watching her, not knowing what else to do while I wait for something to happen.
Her screams, I can’t take them. I’ve started to pace the floor every time I hear her, and I hate feeling so helpless, “B-B-Brandon? B-Brandon, could I have some of that now?” Alexis reaches her hand out to me, and I look to see what she’s talking about. Oh, man. This shit was keeping me from going completely fucking crazy.
“Nurse? Have you got any more of this?” I hold up the oxygen mask before breathing in some more. “Man this is good.” It’s certainly been helping to take my mind off of Alexis’ pain. Before I know it, the nurse snatches it out from my hands, and passes it over to Alexis. Nice. Real fucking nice.
I sit back on the chair, and then lean closer to Alexis, making sure the nurse isn’t within earshot, “Where the hell’s her bedside manner, huh?”
I see her trying to smile, but she winces instead when the pain becomes a little more intense, “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts … Ahhhhhh!” Yeah, that was the loudest one so far. I kneel down beside the bed, and stroke my fingers through her hair.
“You’re going to be holding your baby in your arms in no time.” The nurse tells us. Alexis nods, and tries to smile, but then her words hit me. Oh. My. God. Shit. I’m um … My legs go a little weak, and I have to rest my hands on the bed to steady myself.
“Brandon? Are you okay?” I shake my head when she asks. My mouth has gone completely dry, my head’s starting to spin, and I have to move myself back some more until I’m sitting in the plastic chair because it’s just dawned on me.
“We’re … we’re, um …we’re having a …a b-b-aby.” Shit! Did they turn the heating up in here or something? I grab a hold of my shirt, and start tugging on the collar so I can try and cool myself down.
“Ahhhhhh!”
“Ouch! Jesus, Alexis! Do you really need to grip my hand so fucking tight?” I rip my hand from out of hers, and rub it with my other. My hand looks like it’s just been clawed by a cat or something. “It kinda hurts.”
“On three I need you to push, okay?” Alexis lifts her head up just enough so she can see the nurse, and nods before clenching her eyes firmly closed. “One … Two … Three…”
Her whole face screws up, and even with her eyes closed she still looks determined. When her face starts to relax again, she slowly opens them back up, “I can’t do this. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t.” She looks like she’s gonna cry, and sounds defeated. Seeing her like this is hard. So fucking hard.
“Why don’t you sit right beside her, put a cooling cloth over her forehead, and talk to her. Say nice things to try and calm her back down. Sh
e’s struggling, and she needs you.” The nurse whispers in my ear, and I swallow, nod at her, and then go to sit by her again, leaning down just enough so that we’re face to face.
“We need a doctor in here!”
Sure. She wanted me to calm her down, and then she goes and shouts shit like that out right in front of her. I narrow my eyes over on the nurse before turning back to focus my full attention back on Alexis, “Hey, don’t give up now. Everything’s going great, alright?” I keep my eyes right on hers, but she shakes her head, and doesn’t appear to believe a word I’ve just said.
“Everyone’s worried,” she says, and I see tears brimming in her eyes, her bottom lip trembling some more. “Why is everyone so worried? What’s happening?”
“What? No. I’m not worried,” I glance over my shoulder when I hear one of the doctor’s step inside the room. She has a clipboard in hand, and a serious look of concern across her face. She’s talking quietly with the nurse, and I notice that she’s listening intently. You know what I did just there? I lied. I just lied to her. Something I swore I would never do again. Am I worried? No. I’m fucking petrified.
“Ahhh!”
The sound of Alexis’ screams draws my attention back on her, and I rest my forehead against hers while she tries her hardest to breathe through this one. This has got to have been the strongest one yet.
“You’re doing really well, beautiful,” I place a kiss in her hair, and move back some to give her a little space. When I glance back to the nurse, I see that she’s looking even more worried now than she was before. “What? What is it?” I ask, walking straight over to her to see what in the hell’s going on.
Her eyes dart over to Alexis, and then back on me, “The baby is starting to turn, and if we don’t manage to deliver within the next few minutes then we’re going to have to perform a C-section.” Shit. “Keep her calm and we’ll try and do this without needing to go down that route, okay?” She rubs her hand on my arm a couple of times, and I nod. Keep her calm? This woman really doesn’t know me at all. I’m the master of calmness. Yeah, I don’t believe what I just said any more than you do.
Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged) Page 37