“What?” he asks, offended.
“Don’t even think about it; Cam is out of your league, and she’s not the type to play. It’s all or nothing with that girl.”
“What, like I couldn’t be serious?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Lakin. She’s not the type that would go for you, let alone have anything to do with a guy like you.”
“Well, fuck you, too, big brother.”
“Oh now, don’t take offense. She’s just on a different wavelength; that’s all.”
“Whatever.” He slouches back, completely pissed. He’ll have to get over it; I wouldn’t let him near Campbell any more than I would have let him near Amanda when we went to the zoo. Those situations always collect collateral damage. No, thank you.
I laugh at his childish response and excuse myself to go to the restroom. I need a break from the emotional whirlpool that this table has become tonight. The bar is quickly filling up for the band that is supposed to take the stage soon. As soon as I step away, I already feel the weight of the previous conversations begin to lift. I’m hopeful that when I return, Vivian might be sitting there, and I can finally have the chance to explain things to her and not her friends. Her face is the only one I want to see.
Vivian
“Oh, my God, I think I’m going to throw up. Is he really out there? Do you think he’ll leave when he sees me? There is a reason why men are supposed to do this; women are too emotional for this.”
Amanda fluffs my hair for the hundredth time, and I smack her away. She’s been quiet since I explained everything to her, but after I gave her a little time to digest it all, she was supportive. The calls home were not as pretty, but I wasn’t expecting them to be. They will get over it; they always do. Even if my family is not entirely on board, I’m glad my friends are helping to pull this off. Even Katie stepped in to watch all the kids tonight, and agreed to keep it from Brooks.
Jen swoops in with a shot of vodka. “Here, hun, drink this; it will take the edge off.” She places the glass in my hand and physically moves it to my mouth. I throw it back, feeling the familiar burn of the alcohol, and I shiver as it makes its way down my throat.
“Like a champ!” Jen whoops before slapping my ass. The sound of her hand on my ass cheek echoes loudly, matching my yelp. I’m wearing the same tight green number that I wore on my first date with Brooks, so I would bet there is a red hand print under the thin fabric of the dress that would match the hair on top of my head.
“Geez, Jen, settle down,” I complain as I delicately rub my ass, trying to lessen the sting. Campbell joins us backstage, eyeing the situation before her. “Jen is a little amped up, and is having trouble keeping her hands to herself,” I explain.
“Just as long as she keeps her hands off my band,” Cam laughs. “Brooks is ready whenever you are. Jen and Carly got him wound pretty tight, but I think you guys are ready.”
“Excuse me?” I scowl at Jen. “You were supposed to get him here, and then you guys were supposed to keep him entertained to keep him here, not interrogate him. What did you guys do?”
“Oh, settle down, Viv,” Carly interrupts. “He’s fine, no permanent damage done. Besides, we didn’t say anything that didn’t need to be said.”
I look to Cam for reassurance, and am met with a supportive yet half-hearted smile. “He said everything that I needed to hear; I can honestly say that you deserve the man that’s waiting for you out there.”
I pull her into a tight hug, which surprisingly she returns. “Thank you,” I whisper, and I feel her nod into my shoulder.
“Now, go get him,” she says, backing away.
I take a deep breath and take a peek out at the swelling crowd mingling around the stage. The urge to throw up flares up once more, then I step away from the curtain to gain my bearings. I look back once more to my dearest friends, who are all silently encouraging me to get my ass out on the stage to take the leap that I’ve waited ten years to have the opportunity for. I close my eyes to take in the moment, letting my mind clear of all the pent-up anxiety, worries of loss and regret, and fears of rejection that I’m too late. My breath calms and I step out onto the stage, opening my eyes to see a faceless sea of bodies. The crew has turned off the stage lights, leaving a single spotlight directed at me. I can feel my body begin to move more and more towards the microphone, and I send out a silent prayer that I remember to keep my arms down at my sides so I don’t flash everyone my ever-expanding pit stains that I can feel developing under my arms.
There was supposed to be a single table with a lamp on it to help me find Brooks in the crowd of people. I look out into the masses and locate the table, but I only see Lakin sitting there. My heart sinks into my stomach at the thought of Brooks leaving, and I look back to my friends for a little extra nudge. They saw and talked to Brooks; they would know if he left, and surely Lakin would have come behind stage to warn me, so I step up to the mic and let my heart spill out.
“Good evening, everyone. I have been given permission to steal the stage for a few minutes, so if you would all bear with me, that would be wonderful.” I scan the audience for any dissension in the ranks, and I’m met with complete silence. Any chatter that had filled the void was now eaten up with my awkward address to the mob. In my mind, I keep replaying my mantra I’ve had since I crafted this plan, ‘You’re a superstar. You not only wear the big girl panties, you own the panty store.’
“Just a few nights ago, one of the most wonderful men I’ve had the pleasure of knowing stood up on this exact stage and put his heart out there for me. It was the sweetest gesture anyone has ever done for me, but instead of being forgiving and understanding of his flaws and working through our fears together, I rejected him. I trampled his heart and walked away so viciously, I now need to seek his forgiveness.”
I notice movement towards the back of the crowd of motionless bodies. I don’t need to see him to know that Brooks is on his way to me, and it gives me all the incentive I need to continue my speech.
“I need this man to know that I have forgiven his trespasses, and now I’m seeking the same redemption from him. He is my forever, and…”
Brooks
As soon as I come out of the men’s room, I see a crowd that has gathered around the stage. I bypass the route to my table and slowly head in that direction. When I hear Vivian’s voice over the speaker system talking about me up on stage last weekend, my leisurely-pace transforms into a speed walk that would make the jazzercise lady proud.
I feel every one of her words absorb into my soul and cannot get to her fast enough. The sea of people before me is frozen in place listening to her plea for me, making it difficult to get to the front. I don’t even bother saying excuse me as I bump into people trying to weave through the bodies. I earn a few dirty looks, but I don’t give them a second thought, as my entire attention is on the gorgeous woman on stage that is saying everything I could have ever wanted to hear from her.
I come to a standstill when she references my tattoo. She now knows the entire meaning of it, that I’ve felt that my father’s sins were my own, that it was only her who could release me from the debt of that turpitude, and if she accepted me knowing it all, I would give her eternity. I’m still at least fifty feet away from the stage, glued in place, mesmerized by her words like everyone else.
“He is my forever and…”
“Stop!” I shout over the heads in front of me. I know where the rest of that sentence is heading, and I refuse to let her steal the words that she deserves to be told. I have waited since the moment I woke up in her dorm room for the chance to ask her to marry me, and I’ll be damned if she asks me first.
The attentive crowd turns to see the source of the disruption, and I begin to race as quickly as I can to the stage, to Vivian. As I pass, people begin to separate, allowing a path for me, and when I reach my destination, I hop onto the stage. Instead of rushing to Vivian right away, I fight that instinct and proceed towards her slowly, w
aiting for a green light from her. When she smiles at me, that all-consuming body tingling-smile, I storm forward. As soon as I’m within arm’s reach, I cup her cheeks and pull her into me, crashing my lips to hers. I want her to feel my forgiveness, my gratitude for hers, and I want her to feel every ounce of love I have for her.
With a slow lingering kiss, I feel her smile against my mouth. “You’re here,” she whispers.
“My place is where you are, Clover; that is never going to change,” I murmur back to her, sealing it with a kiss on her palm.
Looking into her inviting eyes, I see that this my moment to claim this woman as mine forever, and I plan to seize it. I always thought I would be nervous, that I would feel hesitation and stumble through the words, but instead, I’m overwhelmed with the light of this woman and the love she has for me. “Vivian, I have something I need to say,” I tell her. She nods, but I can tell I’ve made her a little apprehensive. I maintain a serious expression, squeeze her hands, and begin my own speech for her.
“I have scars on my heart that you will never begin to understand, but make no mistake, they don’t make me weak. They make me strong enough to love you. They make me want to love you more fiercely than anyone will ever be able to love you.” I see emotions swirling in her eyes, threatening to pour over onto her rosy cheeks, but I continue. “For a long time, I didn’t think I deserved someone as perfect as you, but Vivian, after all of these years, I’ve finally realized something.”
“What’s that?” she asks through the tears that have escaped.
“That we are perfect together, and because of that, we deserve each other. I want a forever with you, Red. Will you marry me, and live a forever with me?” I let go of Vivian, reach into my jacket pocket, and take out her ring, holding it out to her, hoping like hell that she’ll take it. The spotlight shines on the center diamond, causing sparkles to refract off the ceiling of the club, earning gasps and awes from the entranced crowd.
Vivian’s face has morphed into an ugly-cry expression that she tries to use her hands to hide. She manages to nod an answer, and I quickly take her left hand, sliding the ring into place. When I kiss her once again, slamming my body into hers, the audience erupts into applause. Even when the band fills in behind us, their roars don’t soften. Within seconds, the girls surround us to yank us backstage, pulling Vivian and me into a group hug. The scene has left me floating. I’ve entered a bubble of bliss knowing that I now have everything I’ve ever wanted…my Clover.
The End
Colorado native M.L. Steinbrunn is new to the literary community, but has been in love with the world of fictional characters and plot twists since she was a child. Writing short stories and reading anything she could get her hands on, it could be argued that her hobby borders on an obsession.
She works full-time as a middle school and high school educator and coach in rural Colorado where she and her husband are raising their young children. Through education she has enjoyed guiding others on their paths and helping students build their stories. After countless evenings of discussing story ideas, it was her husband who encouraged her to follow her own path and publish her first novel.
In her free time M.L. enjoys travelling, Amazon one-clicking, watching movies, chauffeuring her children to their one and half million activities, and people watching.
She would like to add a big thank you to everyone that has been overwhelmingly supportive of this incredibly scary and exciting journey.
Where to follow her….
Facebook
Twitter
Goodreads
There will be many people that know me and my own history that will attempt to piece together scenes of this book as autobiographical. However, I must stress that this story is entirely fictional. The characters and events are creations of my own imagination. While there are some slight similarities, those similarities are pure generalities.
With that said, I would like to thank the many people that helped me to take the first step on this journey…
My Family: The idea to write this book was not my own, my wonderful husband is responsible for this book ever seeing the light of day. After seeing my nose stuck in a Kindle, reading hundreds of books, he encouraged me to pursue writing something for myself. Every time I thought that the task was too large or that no one would want to read the book, he was there to push me forward. He read scenes, gave me input, and took care of the house in the evenings when I needed to reach my word count goal or meet an editing deadline. He and my children have been extremely understanding of this project. Thank you, you guys; Mom will finally cook some good meals and do the laundry.
My Hometown: The first two hundred people that liked my Facebook page, and who continuously commented on my updates were the people within my hometown community. Even knowing that this was a romance novel, my tiny, conservative community supported this endeavor and has encouraged me every step of the way. A few of you even proofread my synopsis, gave input on my cover, and were my behind the scenes cheerleaders.
Indie Author/Blogger Community: I have found this online literary community to be one of the most inspiring and compassionate groups. There have been so many authors and blogs that stepped up to help me, talk me off the ledge, donate, and share announcements. I appreciate every one of you. There are individuals that had a major hand in this project and deserve a special thank you. Becky, Kayla, and all of the betas at Hot Tree Editing: Debbie, Jacqueline, Kristin, Peggy, Sue, and Teri. This team took my ideas and made it a story worth reading. Ari with Cover it Designs thank you for my gorgeous cover. Jovana at Unforeseen Editing did the formatting for this book, and she made it a work of art, not just words on a page. Tiffany at Chainsdesigns designed my wonderful swag and Lindsey with Daisy Dog Photography and Design created all of my awesome teasers. Nita at BookChick Blog Reviews made my fabulous trailer. All of the blog tours, review tours, and release blitz events were organized by Rachel at Dreams Come True Promotions and Kim with LipSmackin’GoodBooks. You ladies did a wonderful job, and I appreciate all of your hard work.
Readers and Fans: Thank you all so much for taking a chance on this newbie, no name author. This book and all future books in the series are possible because of you. None of my efforts would have mattered if I didn’t have your support. Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to follow this dream.
Forgive Us Our Trespasses Page 28