Secret Life

by David M. Jacobs

  Now this feeling that’s being created in you, does this feeling last very long? Do you feel it sort of ebbing away as you’re lying there, or does this maintain a high level of intensity for a long period?

  It ebbs away slowly. It does have a slightly sexual component which I don’t recognize at the time. But in another way it can never leave. It’s there, as a perfect experience, and you always try to recapture those, don’t you?… I don’t think I’d want to give it up.

  (Jill Pinzarro, 10, 1959)

  From time to time the aliens will induce rapid, intense, sexual arousal and even orgasm in a woman as part of their Mindscan procedures. A few abductees report that arousal occurs through manual genital manipulation during Mindscan. Others think that it is a combination of physical and Mindscan procedures that quite suddenly creates sexual feelings. Most women, however, know that the feelings are being elicited from them almost as if the aliens were pushing a mental button. In spite of their attempts to fight it, sexual arousal builds to a peak in a few minutes and then subsides. As often as not, orgasm will take place. The orgasm is not a pleasurable event—it is usually something to be endured until it is over. Some women, knowing what is happening, become very angry and humiliated when this procedure begins, but control is not theirs.

  When Mindscan is completed, or when the sexual arousal procedures are at their peak, the Taller Being immediately begins a set of gynecological and urological procedures.

  REPRODUCTIVE PROCEDURES

  Reproductive procedures are a constant feature of the abduction experience and are ultimately directed to the production of offspring. Women endure a complex series of gynecological procedures designed to collect and implant eggs and to extract fetuses. For men, the urological procedures are focused on taking sperm.

  Egg Harvesting

  The Taller Being breaks off from performing Mindscan and begins what is reported to be ova harvesting. With one hand he presses on the woman’s abdomen in the region above the ovaries, and with the other he inserts a variety of instruments into her vagina. The first is a speculumlike instrument that creates an opening large enough to work with. Then he inserts a long, thin, flexible tube that women report goes in very far. One woman described it as being as thin as a “daffodil stem.” The women then realize that the tube is going to an ovary. Most women in some way know that he is taking an egg. As this procedure goes on, the women may feel ill, they may feel a “twinge” of pain, cramping (a little like menstrual cramps), or pressure. Some women perspire, feel dizzy, nauseated, and weak.

  In another common procedure, also presumably for egg harvesting, the aliens insert into the woman’s navel a thin needle attached to a “syringe” apparatus. When they did this to Betty Hill, the Beings evasively told her that they were performing a “pregnancy test.” Other women have reported that the Beings told them they were taking eggs. Still other abductees have felt that the procedure was related to both but not specifically to either. One woman stated that the needle in the navel was used to take an egg from the ovary when she was menstruating. On some occasions a slightly larger tube is placed in the navel and a liquid is injected. Abductees feel cramping when this procedure is performed. Sometimes the insertion of the needle is painful, but most of the time the aliens succeed in blocking any discomfort.

  Now they come up and they’re poking at my bellybutton….

  When they poke at your bellybutton, do they use their hands or do they use an instrument?

  An instrument.

  Can you describe what this one is like?

  It’s long and pointy. It’s like a needle…. It pinches.

  Do they insert it into your bellybutton?

  Yeah.

  Does it hurt?

  Yeah.

  Do they stop the pain, or… ?

  They put their hand on my head.

  Does that stop it?

  It seems to take it away.

  (Lynn Miller, 30, 1985)

  After the egg has been harvested, the Taller Being puts it into a container and places it on a cart or gives the egg container to a Small Being who quickly takes it out of the room. After he is finished with the egg-harvesting procedure, the Taller Being goes over to the woman’s head and stares into her eyes again. Some women “black out” or go to sleep when he does this as a wave of irresistible calmness overtakes them. Then the Taller Being turns around and walks out of the room.

  Embryo Implantation

  Implanting a fertilized egg into the abductee is another critical procedure of the primary experiences. Usually the woman knows that something is being inserted into her and left there. She receives the impression that she is now pregnant. She does not want to be pregnant, and she certainly does not want to be pregnant under those circumstances. The Beings ignore her objections. Karen, for one, was furious at the gynecological procedures performed on her during an incident.

  And now… I’m wondering what he’s doing, and I say in my mind, “You son of a bitch, I’d better be all right,” and he says, he’s down at the other end of the table, he says, “But you are all right,” or that he’s just making sure. And then he comes back up…. I think he takes an instrument, and I think he’s taking… it always reminds me of a Pap smear, but I think that’s what he does next…. I remember it feels like a long, rounded instrument.

  Thin, or… ?

  Thin. I can feel it. A long… I don’t know what he’s doing. This part is mystifying to me. I can’t see and I don’t know. It’s a long, rounded instrument.

  You mean, sort of tubelike, or… ?

  That’s what it feels like. I must have seen it at some time, too, because I have a better image… Is it something that would just sort of take a smear, or is it something that has an apparatus on the end of it?

  It definitely has an apparatus on the end of it, and it definitely has a hole somewhere on it, or an impression. I can see it. It’s sort of like a bullet. It’s something, it’s got a bullet in it. I don’t know how I know this. I don’t think this is for removing an egg, I think this is for inserting one.

  For inserting an egg?

  Okay. That’s why he gave me that exam. That’s why they were worried. He’s implanting an embryo in me, I’m positive of it. There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind.

  How do you know?

  I have no idea, I just know it. I have the impression of something being shot into me, or put into me, but I can see this instrument and I don’t know why. Stapled into me is a better way. I don’t know how I know this. But I know it, even while it’s going on. He must have told me, or I could see it in his mind. Because I’m saying, “This is repulsive! You’re not going to get away with this. I will not let you do this!” And he said, “Yes, you will let us do it. It’s very important.” They never say, “There’s not a damned thing you can do about it,” they always give you some reason. And I say, “I’ll remember this and I’ll have an abortion.” And he said, “You won’t remember this.” That’s a suggestion he’s giving me. He’s saying, “You will not remember it.” It’s hypnotic. And I’m saying, “I will, I will.” But then I’m thinking really fast in my mind, I can never get an abortion. How can I go into someone and say, ‘I’m one day pregnant’? And then I think, there’s got to be a way to get it out, because I know when they put it in they’ve got to take it out, and that means I’ve got to go back. And then he says, “You know there’s nothing to worry about. We’ve done this before.” And I think I know they’ve done it before, and it always makes me feel sick. I can’t believe it, they really are doing this. They really are doing this. And there’s nothing I can do.

  Does this take a while, or is this a very short procedure?

  Not as short as some of the others. But it’s not long and drawn out. They’re very careful. The other times they rush around, they give you a real fast exam. They usually focus on one part more than another, depending on what interests them. This time they’re focusing on this and they’re really careful, not because of you but b
ecause of the disgusting old hybrid embryos that they’re sticking into you. I feel like a cow. I’m so mad, but I’m also so exhausted. And I now there really isn’t anything I can do.

  What does he do when he finishes with this?

  The instrument stays in a while, and then he pulls it out. I have the impression there’s a lot of goo involved, but I never remember feeling it…. And he pulls this thing out and he… I don’t know if he hands it to someone or puts it down. He might hand it to someone. And then he pats my stomach or touches my stomach and says, “There we go.” I say, “You’re disgusting, get your hand off me! Take your hand off me! Take your hand off me!” And he does.

  Where was his hand, on your stomach still?

  He took his hand off my stomach, and he sort of shakes his head as if he’s puzzled. Shaking is too violent a term, he moves his head as if he’s puzzled, as if to say, “I don’t know what’s the matter with this one.”

  (Karen Morgan, 28, 1977)

  Karen woke up in the morning with a sticky, gelatinous substance between her legs. She was puzzled about how she got it and washed it off in her morning shower.

  Lynn Miller was with her son when they were driving to Cape May, New Jersey. They saw a huge object hovering by the side of the road, and Lynn felt compelled to pull the car over and stop. In the ensuing abduction, the aliens separated Lynn from her son, inserted a needle into her bellybutton, and then implanted something in her.

  He puts something inside.

  Do you feel whether this is going in just a little way, or a long way, or… ?

  It’s all the way in.

  Left side or right side?

  I don’t know. I can’t tell.

  Can you describe what this feels like? Does this give you any pain, or pressure, or cramping?

  It hurts.

  Now, is this after they do the bellybutton procedure, or before?

  After.

  And what happens next?

  It feels like there’s something still in there, but they’re done.

  Do you think that they put something in, or they took something out?

  It feels like they put something in.

  Okay. And what happens then?

  Then they make me get off the table.

  Just before that, now, this taller one, does he come over to you, say something to you?

  They tell me they’re implanting me.

  Does he say with what?

  No. He said I was implanted.

  Do they mean internally?

  I don’t know.

  What do you say when they say that?

  I don’t remember saying anything.

  (Lynn Miller, 30, 1985)

  Janet Demerest has also had events in which she felt that something had been left inside her. As it was for Lynn, it was difficult for her to tell what was happening during one of them.

  At some point the guy is there with this long metal thing, like a needle. But I don’t know what context [it is in]…. I think he stuck that thing inside me, and I thought it was going to hurt.

  Now when you say stuck inside of you, do you mean through your stomach or… ?

  Vaginally.

  What do you think he’s doing there? What is your impression?

  My impression is that he is putting something inside of me….

  Do you feel any pain?

  No, but I’m scared.

  Do you say anything to him?

  No, I’m afraid to move….

  I asked Janet what the thing looked like that had been left in her. She said that it was “a little round thing.” When the procedure was completed, a female Being helped her off the table.

  Somebody helps me sit up, pushing me from the back. I think it’s a woman, I don’t know.

  Okay. You sit up on the table?

  And all I can think is that I want to have a baby.

  And what happens next?

  Well, I think I kind of tell that to the woman, that I want to have a baby.

  Does she respond?

  No. She has no expression on her face at all…. I feel like I’m going to have a baby, and that I want to have a baby.

  Do you think that might be related to seeing that thing put inside you?

  I don’t know. I don’t know why all of a sudden I would want to have a baby.

  (Janet Demerest, 33, 1987)

  The procedures for implanting an embryo seem similar to harvesting an egg, and often the abductee cannot tell the difference. Similarly, it is often difficult to tell when the aliens extract an embryo or fetus from the abductee.

  Embryo and Fetal Extraction

  The extraction of the implanted embryo is the third critical gynecological procedure in the primary experiences. The abductee with the implanted fertilized egg may not realize that she is pregnant even though she stops menstruating. The abductee may have been extremely careful in her use of birth control, or she may not have had sexual relations of any sort for many months, and therefore there would be little or no reason to believe that she was pregnant. Nevertheless, her breasts swell and retain water, she may have morning sickness, and she may have a “pregnant feeling.” She may take a home pregnancy test that shows positive, and then she may go to a physician for a blood test that confirms her suspicions—she is pregnant.

  But about six to twelve weeks later her period begins again. She is inexplicably not pregnant. She has no miscarriage, no expulsion of fetal material, no indication that something was “wrong.” She goes to her physician, who confirms that the fetus has suddenly disappeared.

  Sometimes the pregnant woman decides to have an abortion. When the abortion takes place the physician is puzzled and mystified: There is no fetus. It has mysteriously disappeared.

  We cannot be sure of the exact number of times a woman has undergone the implantation and extraction procedures unless we know the number of pregnancies that are terminated in the first trimester. Even then, the pregnancy may be terminated after a very short time, and the subject may assume that she simply missed a period or two and never know she was pregnant. We also have indications that some extractions are completed just before the first menstrual period is missed so that the woman has virtually no overt signs of pregnancy.

  Lynn Miller described being painfully poked in the side by the Taller Being and told, “It’s time to take it.” The Taller Being began by using a speculum-type instrument followed by a long, black instrument with a “cup” on the end of it.

  Can you tell me what this looks like?

  It’s long and it’s black. It’s got sort of a cup on the end or something.

  Okay, you can go on.

  With a suction or something.

  Is this instrument attached to anything, or… ?

  To a machine.

  Is the machine on?

  There’s buttons lit up.

  Do you hear any noise from it?

  No, it’s silent.

  So he inserts this suction-cup device, and what happens next?

  It feels like he’s tearing something inside at first…. They’re not too gentle. I keep on telling them it hurts.

  Do they respond to that?

  No.

  Does he try to make it stop hurting?