Secret Life

by David M. Jacobs

  Conversely, the scene might be sexually charged. It can contain a romantic fantasy with a boyfriend or girlfriend or simply a person to whom the abductee is attracted, and it might contain a sexual encounter. This agreeable scene creates loving and pleasant feelings in the abductee. At other times the images are mundane and commonplace, such as a scene of a pretty garden with a fountain, or a display of routine and normal family life. These scenes generally evoke a neutral response in the abductee.

  Frequently, an abductee is required to gaze at an inanimate object. For example, an alien might hold a box of some sort, perhaps eight inches square with a small red light on it. The abductee develops an instant fascination with the box and stares at it steadily. She cannot move her gaze from the box. The box appears to have no intrinsic or apparent function other than to provide something for the abductee to look at.

  All the imaging events have one fundamental factor in common: A Taller Being stands to the side of the abductee and stares deeply into her eyes while the procedure is in progress. Once again, he might be only inches away. She observes and he observes. It is this interactive staring that provides the key to these mental procedures. The aliens seem to want to analyze the emotional effects of viewing the images. The scenes themselves do not appear to have any prescient or prophetic value.

  Imaging can be profoundly influential on the psychological wellbeing of abductees, who can have a difficult time dealing with these sometimes anxiety-provoking scenes in their daily lives. Lynn Miller was thirteen years old when she had a profoundly influential imaging experience. A Taller Being took her into a room and picked up a paper lying on a table. The paper contained a list of male names. The alien told her to memorize the list because “There’s war and I’ll need to know these names.” At first this episode seemed incomprehensible until a staring procedure was revealed.

  They take me in the chart room.

  What’s the very first thing you see when you get inside? Is it light, dark?

  It’s light. I see the table.

  And then what happens?

  He picks up the chart and tells me to memorize the names.

  Do you memorize the names?

  I look at them. He told me I’m going to help them.

  How are you going to do this, do you know?

  I don’t know. He says I’ll know when the time comes.

  What are you thinking as you’re looking at these charts?…

  “Why are they doing this? Why are they picking me?”…

  Why do they need help?

  I don’t know.

  Does he seem to be very insistent about this, or is he casual about it, or is there some sort of demeanor about him?

  He said he would make me remember it.

  How long do you look at these names?

  A couple of minutes.

  Do you try to memorize them, or do you look at them?

  I look at them.

  Are you actively trying to commit them to memory?

  No.

  What is he doing while you’re doing this?

  He seems to be staring at me.

  Now as he stares at you, do you have any unusual feelings about it? Is he creating an emotion in you in some way?

  He seems to be doing something….

  Does he move close to you?

  He’s close.

  While he’s holding the chart thing?

  Yes.

  Does he ever take his eyes off you while you’re looking at the names?

  No.

  Now as you look at this chart he stands there, and he sort of looks you over. Is that right?

  He’s staring….

  Now, how does he know when you’re finished?

  He takes it away….

  And can you tell me what he says again?

  That there’s war and I’ll need to know these names. And then he tells me to memorize them.

  Does he say anything about how you’ll remember them later or something like that?

  No.

  (Lynn Miller, 13, 1967)

  Although Lynn remembered nothing about the experience after it was over, she became convinced that a war was about to take place. When her parents bought canned goods she would take some of them down to the basement and hoard them in preparation for the impending war. After a while she developed an intense interest in World War II and became a “buff,” studying the battles and leaders. This interest lasted throughout high school. Her preoccupation with war was quite unusual for any teenage girl, but it was all the more inexplicable because Lynn had grown up as a Mennonite and was very religious. Mennonites are not known for their interest in war.

  Jason Howard was working as an insurance salesman when we first began to explore his experiences. He later went back to college to get his Ph.D. in English literature. During one abduction episode, he was taken into a room and viewed a screen displaying an atomic explosion on earth.

  Can you get a sense of what the purpose of showing you this picture is?

  That something happens on the picture.

  Okay. So it changes while you’re watching it?…

  A white fog that comes out from the upper left side of the earth.

  What does that mean?

  Something’s wrong.

  Does this fog envelop the earth, or just stay off to the side?

  It grows big fast, but only around maybe a fifth of the diameter.

  … How does it make you feel when you see this? In other words, does it invoke an emotional reaction?

  Not a strong one. I guess it’s sad.

  … Does this Being explain any of this to you?

  Well, I understand what it is, and he understands that I understand….

  What do you understand?

  That something blew.

  Something exploded, you mean?… What happens next?

  We decide to talk about that.

  Okay. Does he begin the discussion?

  I do…. I say that that’s what happened in Japan in World War II.

  Are you talking about an atomic explosion?

  Yes.

  And what does he say?

  I think he’s surprised that I know that because I wasn’t born then, and he says that it’s not like what happened then because it’s much, much more.

  I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand what you just said.

  He said it’s not like what happened in Japan.

  Oh, the explosion that you saw was greater?

  Yes….

  What else does he say?

  Well, he says when that is.

  When this big cloud is?

  Yes.

  Is it now, or in the past?

  No, it’s ahead of time.

  In the future?

  Yes.

  Does he give you a date?

  No. He doesn’t give me years. It’s measured by my life span…. So when he said when the first one was, he said that it was a certain amount of moments before I was born, and the second one he says is when I’m a month away from when I would be forty. But he doesn’t use years. It’s just a measurable amount of time that I would have lived.

  Then how do you know that it’s a month away from when you would be forty?

  Because that’s the span of time that we understand.

  Okay. Is this going to be a cataclysmic event?

  Yes.

  How do you feel when he tells you this?

  I guess relieved that it will be that long.

  Now, when you’re talking with him, is he close to you?

  Yes.

  Where is he looking when you’re discussing this?

  At my face.

  Where are you looking?

  At his eyes.

  Now during this entire discussion, does he ever look away from your face?

  I don’t think so, no.

  Does he move at all?

  I think he kind of inches forward a little.

  A little bit closer?

  Yes.

  A
bout how close does he get, then?

  Pretty close…. A couple of inches.

  So he’s right there?

  Yes.

  (Jason Howard, 17, 1976)

  Envisioning

  Instead of viewing scenes on a screen, or gazing at objects, the abductee is frequently made to envision them in her mind. She may be still lying on the table in the examination room when she begins to “see” the scenes. Often the scene is so realistic that the abductee does not know until careful investigation that it is being played out in her mind. Sometimes the envisioned scene involves seeing a friend or relative. The abductee feels certain that the friend is “up there” with her. But the “friend” is really a Small Being made to appear like the friend in the abductee’s mind.

  When Karen Morgan was thirty years old, two aliens lifted her up from the table and held her at an angle so that the envisioning could begin.

  I don’t know why they’re holding me up because usually I’m lying down for this. But they lift me up, and he puts his hand on my head, and he’s telling me to look at the picture. And it’s not just like I’m looking at the picture, it’s like I’m in the picture. I can project myself into the picture.

  What is this a picture of?

  When my mother died. This time, instead of being where I was, which was at the bed, I’m looking at the picture from, like, a corner of the room, and I’m watching the whole thing again. It’s such a vivid picture, even now, all these years later I can see. I forgot what my mother was wearing but now I can see it.

  Is this a bedroom, or hospital room, or… ?

  No, she had cancer and she died at my uncle’s house.

  Are you there alone, or… ?

  No… there are a lot of [relatives] in the room. And everybody’s standing around the bed, and she wanted us to say the rosary like when her mother died. And I’m watching the whole thing. Why do they want me to watch this? He says I have to look at it. And I say, “No, I don’t want to look at it.” But he’s telling me to see something…. He’s telling me that I have to feel the way I did then. He’s telling me that I have to feel that again. Feel that. And I say, “Why should I feel it? I’ve already felt… why should I feel it for you?” But it’s hard not to, because when he puts me in the picture it’s hard not to feel all that again. And I’m really pissed off at him. It’s not horrible, it’s emotional. It’s very emotional, and he’s making me watch it. I’m trying not to pay attention to the picture, but somehow they’ve got me in the room. It’s like it’s just all happening again.

  What does he do while you’re envisioning this?

  Watching me….

  Is he causing you to feel a sadness or an emotion?

  He’s telling me I have to feel it, but I’m fighting it. I’m fighting it because I’m angry. He’s telling me not to fight it, and just to feel. But I’m getting so angry that I’m not feeling it, because I can’t get as completely involved in it as I would have to be… I’m aware that it’s a trick and I don’t like it. They’re telling me that this is happening now, but I know that it’s not, even though I feel like I’m in the room again. In my mind, I say, “Did they make a film of this so that they could play it for me?” That’s what it feels like. It feels like they were in the room and they made a film of it. But if they pulled it out of my mind, how did they do it… ?

  Now, is this a static scene, or does it move?

  You know what, they tell me that it’s a scene of my mother dying, but I don’t think it’s moved. It’s not really moved. It’s not going anywhere. It’s like it’s frozen. I don’t see anybody moving. But isn’t that odd? I can remember all the clothes that the people were wearing and stuff.

  Are you able to see things close up in this scene, or is this sort of a long shot, or… ?

  It’s as if I’m in the corner of a large bedroom and that’s how close up the people are.

  You see yourself standing there from the back, I assume?

  Mm-hmm, from the side. But I’m the one that I can’t see very clearly. I can see the other people. I can see the people who are on the left-hand side of the bed the best, because that’s the corner I’m looking down off. They want me to look at my mother, but I won’t look. And they want me to see her suffering. They’re horrible. Horrible.

  Do you ask him why he wants you to do this?

  No, I’m angry. I might say why, but mostly I say no. “I won’t. I won’t. I refuse to do it. I won’t.” They’re trying to tell me that somehow or other I’ll feel better if I see it. You know, that it’s somehow good for me. But I know that’s not true.

  Now, if he’s got his hand on your forehead, and two of the Beings are supporting you, would he be standing next to one of the Beings, in other words… ?

  No. They’re behind me.

  Oh, they’re behind you, I see.

  And he’s in front of me.

  But is he dead center in front of you, or is he off to the side?

  He’s directly in front of me.

  So then you must be down by the…

  Right. My legs are hanging. That’s why I thought my knees were up at first, because they were. But they were moving me. I’m sitting on the edge of the table.

  (Karen Morgan, 30, 1979)

  Patti Layne was sixteen years old when she had a profound envisioning experience. It took place after a needle had been inserted into her navel and after she had undergone Mindscan and bonding.

  And they said that they needed some parts, some things from me and that it would help everyone on the planet. They said that there are going to be some bad things that are going to happen.

  Do they say what’s going to happen?

  Well, they gave me some pretty vivid images…. But they didn’t do it in that room, they put me in a little room with a chair. Just one chair in the middle. But it was like across the hall. It was real little. There were two of them in there, two or three. That was a little later. And I sat on the chair and they put this scope on my head. It looked something like what they looked at me in. And it’s real bright now. It seems like a bright room, and they told me terrible things would happen to the Earth and that it would just blow up, and cities would crumble and mountains would fall and the sun would be black. And they said that it’s bad because people can’t stop being greedy and that they were doing something to help us, and I don’t know how. I couldn’t make the connection how putting something into my stomach would help us. But they were horrible images, the images I still see in nightmares. I have recurring nuclear war dreams.