by Ava Miles
Kissing her again, he said, “I’ll call you when I can.”
With another smile, she reached for her purse and took out her own keys. He watched with a mingled sense of wonder and guilt as she drew a brass one off the chain.
“Come whenever,” she said, fitting it into his palm. “You’re always welcome here. Day or night.”
He felt the significance of the action and wanted to meet it with a gesture of his own. Taking off his own house key, he gave it to her.
“I want you to feel the same way,” he said, watching as her eyes darkened with emotion. He’d had an extra one made a couple of days ago and had been waiting for the perfect moment. It didn’t get more perfect than this. “Can you remember my alarm code?”
Her smile was radiant. “I have a head for numbers.”
He told it to her. “And my password is justice.”
“Of course it is,” she said. “You’d better get going before I make you late. When I see you next though…be prepared to be loved within an inch of your life.”
“I can’t wait,” he said and made himself open the door and walk out.
Four hours later, he arrived in the trailer park after taking the time to change clothes and switch cars. He couldn’t very well show up in his Ferrari and his street clothes. Lenore met him at the door with No-no by her side, barking up a storm.
“Hush it,” she told the dog, grabbing his collar. “Good to see you, Toby. Thank you for coming on such short notice.”
“It’s all right,” he said. A few feet behind her, he could see a lanky gray-haired man he recognized from two very different photos. “It’s good to see you too, Lenore. And Mr. McGuiness, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
The man had on a denim shirt worn thin at the elbows and a loose pair of jeans without a belt. “Can’t say as I feel the same. You’ve caused me a lot of trouble, showing up like you did. Making me leave my girl. You have no idea what you’ve stirred up, boy.”
Vander fucking hated it when another man called him boy. “I’d appreciate you not calling me that, Mr. McGuiness.”
“I’ll call you—”
“Pres, this is my house, and you’d better treat Toby with respect. Come on in, honey, and give me a kiss. I thought we could talk in the back like we did when you were here last. I can keep No-no inside so we won’t be distracted.”
“Sweet tea in the same place?” he asked, bussing her cheek with his lips, aware that Preston was stewing beside him. “I’ll pour us some while you put No-no in the back.”
“Sounds good,” Lenore said. “Pres, you go on and sit outside.”
“Finally going to let me out of your sight, Mama?” he asked with an edge in his voice.
“Now that Toby is here, he can run you down if you take off again,” Lenore said. “Lord knows, I’m not doing much running these days.”
The man frowned and headed to the back while Lenore ambled down the hallway with the dog. Inside the kitchen, Vander poured the sweet tea, keeping an eye on Preston through the window. Seeing him in the flesh, there was no mistaking how much J.P. favored him, save for all the wear of hard living. And he saw plenty of Shelby too, which made him feel all the guiltier.
Once they were all settled outside with their sweet tea, Lenore said, “All right, Pres. This man came a long way to hear a story I’ve been waiting for you to tell me for nigh on thirty years. Get to it.”
His mouth tensed, and he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “I wish Shelby and the rest of them had never bothered to look for me. I’m no good for the kids. That’s why I had to leave. Please, Mama. It’s best for everyone to let sleeping dogs lie.”
“No, Pres,” Lenore said in a hard tone. “You promised you’d tell us, and tell us you will.”
The man sighed long and deep. “It’s not a pretty story, and I never wanted my kids to hear it. Neither did Louisa. She’s going to be as angry as a hornet if she ever learns I broke our agreement.”
Vander’s curiosity was piqued. “You tell it to me straight. I’ll decide whether anyone hears it.”
“Fine,” Preston said, gripping his knees. “I lost my job in the last year I was with Louisa and the kids. At first I couldn’t tell her. I was too ashamed. I had words with my boss, and he drew a hard line. Every time I turned around, the kids needed another book for school or a pair of shoes…and then Sadie was born. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.”
Unemployment was hard anytime, but Vander had seen lengthy stints of it break families apart. He shared a look with Lenore, and she patted Preston’s knee to encourage him to continue.
“I…couldn’t find a job,” he said, not meeting their eyes. “I did some odd jobs here and there, but it wasn’t enough. Louisa was pregnant with Sadie, and she got more and more frustrated with me as her due date came closer. We weren’t doing well. Were late on bills. She said I wasn’t helping enough with the kids or doing my part to provide for them. And then we stopped…you know. She said it was the baby and all, but I knew different. She didn’t want me anymore, and I…”
“She wasn’t right to treat you like that, Pres,” Lenore said. “A woman should support her husband. I never liked her. Not from day one. This cinches it.”
“Mama, please don’t interrupt me,” Preston said, rocking in his chair now. “I’ve kept this to myself for a long, long time, and it’s hard to tell.”
Lenore only response was to purse her lips.
“I got some odd jobs around the church during the week—sweeping floors, cleaning things up.” He put his fist to his mouth. “There was a girl who helped out with the kids on Wednesday nights during services. She was…one of those older-looking girls, if you know what I mean.”
Vander’s heart started to thud in his chest.
“I didn’t know she was fifteen,” Preston said, staring off in the distance. “She was always nice to me, and she was real pretty. It’s no excuse, but she made me feel like I wasn’t a failure. She…told me she liked older men, and I…”
“Oh, sweet Jesus,” Lenore whispered, putting her hand over her mouth.
“We…had sex,” Preston said, clearing his throat with three hard coughs. “I knew it was wrong. I felt guilty as hell afterward. But she pursued me, and I gave in again. After that, I knew it had to stop. She was still in high school, and none of my reasons held up in the light of day.”
Vander kept his face neutral, but inside he was seething. He’d heard both men and women justify having sex with a minor—anything from them looking and acting older to them wanting it. Whatever the reason, it was unequivocally wrong. He did the math. Preston would have been twenty-nine. Old enough to know better, especially with four small kids at home.
“I stopped working at the church,” Preston continued. “I couldn’t tell Louisa why, which only made her madder. Sadie wasn’t sleeping much and all she did was cry. I hated being home, even though the older kids never complained, especially John Parker. He was so easygoing. Susannah was the quiet one, and Shelby…well, she was always on the move. I never could keep up with her. I tried to be a good father to them, but…nothing seemed to be going right.”
Vander was trying to reconcile this man’s story with the family he knew. All of the McGuinesses were happy, well-adjusted people, but obviously this had been a dark time. He was glad Shelby didn’t remember much of it.
“The girl…” He coughed in loud bursts again. “Her name was Skylar. She…ah…oh, God forgive me. She got pregnant.”
Vander felt the shock jolt his system. Oh, fuck. Not this.
Lenore gave an anguished sound. “No, Preston. No!”
The older man pinched the bridge of his nose. “She tried to hide it, but her parents found out. Skylar told them it was mine, and they…they…told Louisa. You can’t imagine how she reacted.”
Vander had been a P.I. for long enough to see betrayal in all its forms. He’d seen destroyed marriages, husbands and wives decimated by a spouse’s infidelity. But
he couldn’t begin to imagine what a spiritual woman like Louisa must have gone through after learning her husband had slept with a fifteen-year-old girl at church and gotten her pregnant. Everything was starting to make sense to him.
Lenore was crying softly now, and Vander reached for her hand. She gripped it hard while Preston stared at the ground.
“The family…” Preston shook his head and wiped his nose. “They didn’t want their daughter disgraced by calling in the law on me. I was lucky that way, and I know it.”
Vander had never been a parent, but he knew intuitively he’d want justice. He’d want to make sure the man never did something like that again. He hoped to hell Preston McGuiness had learned this part of his lesson.
“They were going to send Skylar to her grandparents in Texas, but they were adamant that I had to leave town. Her daddy…he said he’d kill me if he had to look at me at church.”
That was more like it.
“I asked Louisa to come with me,” Preston said, rocking nervously in his chair. “I told her we could make a new life somewhere with the kids and start over. I promised I’d never cheat on her again. She wouldn’t hear of it.”
Vander’s admiration for the woman increased. He had a hard time when women stayed with men who’d treated them like shit.
“I can’t see as how I blame her,” Preston continued, digging his fingers into his knees. “She told me she and the kids would be better off without me. All she wanted was for me to leave and never come back because she couldn’t bear to tell our kids what I’d done. I was so ashamed. I’d done wrong by everyone around me, and I didn’t want the kids to know the truth. I told Louisa I’d go and never contact them again. She asked me to promise, and I did. God forgive me, I’m breaking it now.”
Oh, Shelby, how am I supposed to tell you this? Tell any of you this? He thought of Sadie and how she cried at the drop of a hat. This would decimate her. It would hurt all of them.
“Oh, Pres,” Lenore said, her mascara streaking down her face. “How could you? I raised you better than this!”
“I’m sorry, Mama,” Preston said, raising bloodshot-red eyes to look at her. “What I did was unforgivable. Can’t you see why I left Haines? Mister, you’re trying to open a box filled with hurt. I’ve already done wrong by my kids once, but if they find out about this… And Louisa will never forgive me—assuming she’s tried.”
Vander worried his lip when Preston hung his head. Lenore had her hand on her heart and was continuing to cry softly.
“I have another grandchild,” the woman whispered. “Preston, did you never try to find out what happened to your own flesh and blood?”
The man shook his head in defeat. “No, Mama. Never. I’ve never tried to find out anything about my other kids. Why would I look for that poor child I made in a dark moment with Skylar? Besides, her family wouldn’t want that.”
“But it’s your child!” Lenore said. “They’re all your children. How could you—”
“Mama, you don’t understand how it was!” Preston said, shooting out of his chair. “Marley Watkins didn’t want me anywhere near Skylar, and he was right. Louisa was right too. I…Mister, I’m begging you to carry this story to your grave. Don’t tell Shelby or the rest of my kids.”
Vander’s shoulders felt like they’d turned to stone, the weight on them was so heavy.
“Maybe Preston is right,” Lenore said, squeezing his hand. “I wish…I wish I didn’t know. I…I need to go inside for a spell.”
She released her grip on him and stood awkwardly, facing her son. Her lips trembled as she walked to the back door, leaving Vander alone with Shelby’s father.
“You must hate me,” Preston said in a hard tone. “Well, it’s no worse than I deserve. I’ve never had a moment’s peace since I left my family, and however much I run, I can’t escape it.”
Normally Vander wouldn’t have asked why someone had kept running in a case like this—it didn’t change the facts—but he had to know for Shelby and her siblings. “So all this time, you’ve been moving from one town to the next…for what?”
The man’s eyes blazed. “You can sit in judgment all you like, Mister, but you don’t have a fucking clue what it means to be so ashamed of yourself and what you’ve done that you can’t stop trying to run from it. Forget it ever happened. I leave a town almost every year like clockwork as a way of making sure I never get too close to anyone again. That way I can’t hurt nobody.”
The force of Preston’s reply slammed into his chest.
“That changed some with Pauline,” the man continued, “but it doesn’t matter now. I’m no good—to anyone. Including my kids. I don’t plan on ever reaching out to them. They’re better off without me. If you have any love for my daughter and the rest of them, you won’t tell them what happened.”
Suddenly it cut Vander to the quick to see the resemblance this man had to the woman he loved while he repudiated all connection to her except for the genes they shared. He rose slowly out of the chair and stared at Preston. “You said your piece. The rest is up to me to decide.”
He left the man standing all alone.
Chapter 33
Shelby awoke from a dead sleep when a warm body slid in beside her.
“It’s me,” he whispered, running a hand down her back. “Go back to sleep.”
Her body was lethargic, and she didn’t want to open her eyes. “What time is it?”
“Late,” he said, pulling her to his side. “I didn’t want to be without you tonight. Hope that’s okay.”
She managed to put her arm around his waist. “I love hearing that. How was work?”
His chest lifted as he heaved a deep sigh. “Tough, but I got through it. Shelby, I love you.”
There was something in his voice… She struggled more fully awake. “Can you talk about it?”
“Not now,” he said, smoothing her hair. “Maybe not ever. Some things I can’t talk about.”
“It’s okay,” she said, kissing the warm skin of his neck, wanting to assure him. “I understand, but I’m here for you when you need me.”
His arms tightened around her. “Promise?”
That made her lever up on her elbow. The room was too dark for her to see his face, but she could sense the invisible weight he was carrying. “I love you. Of course, I promise.” Goodness, he must have had a horrible day. “Let’s see if I can reassure you.”
She trailed her fingertips up his chest to his mouth, letting herself be guided by touch. When she leaned over to kiss him, he rolled her over until she was resting on his chest. He’d been right about how luscious simple skin-to-skin contact was. She reveled in the heat and hardness of his body under hers.
In that practical way of hers, she’d started keeping condoms under her pillow for moments like this. She located one and managed to fit one over him, feeling an urgent need.
He gave a dark groan when she straddled his waist and took him inside her body. His hands gripped her waist as she started to move, and when they shifted to her breasts, she was the one who cried out. He tugged and pulled at her nipples until she was increasing her pace, her desire for him driving her wild.
His fingers found the place where they were joined and caressed her there. She cried out and clenched around him as she came. When he followed her seconds later, she sank on top of him, flushed and sweaty and so filled with love for him—just the way she liked it.
She never wanted to be without Vander or this feeling they had between them.
He tucked her close and whispered, “I love you,” and she fell to sleep listening to his heart.
When she came awake, the shower was running. Light was peeking around the edges of the curtains. She grabbed her phone and made a sound. Seven o’clock? On a Sunday? She thought about joining him, but good Lord, she hated being up this early unless she had to be.
The shower shut off, and she closed her eyes again. When the bathroom door opened, she turned on her side, shocked to see he was d
ressed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
He started. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was going to leave you a note.”
She frowned. “It’s Sunday. Come here.”
“I have some work I need to do,” he said, approaching the bed. “It can’t wait.”
“But it’s Sunday! I thought we’d spend today together since you had to work yesterday.”
He looked down at the floor, and Shelby felt a moment of unease. Usually they were so in sync. He would say something like, “How do you wake up looking so beautiful and sexy?” and then he’d ruin it by adding, “Thank God you have morning breath like the rest of us mere mortals.” Something was wrong.
“You have church and family stuff today,” he said. “I thought you’d be caught up.”
He was always looking at her when they were together, like he didn’t want to look anywhere else, but now he was avoiding her gaze. Something was really wrong.
Sitting up, she tucked the sheet under her armpits. “Sure, I have church this morning, but I can miss Sunday dinner.” She still hadn’t decided to attend.
“Two weeks in a row? That’s not the Shelby I know. You love seeing your family.”
Normally she did. “I wanted things to settle down a little more. So you’d feel more comfortable coming.”
He crossed to the bed, leaned down, and kissed her on the cheek, not giving her a chance to pull him onto it with her. Then walked to the door.
“Don’t wait for me. Go be with them. I’ll call you later.”
He was really leaving? “Vander, what’s wrong? Because this…something doesn’t feel right.”
Was it her imagination, or did he sigh at the doorway? Fear washed over her like cold rain.
“It’s this case,” he said, clearing his throat. “Sometimes they bother me. There’s nothing wrong between us, Shelby. Would I have used the key you gave me when I got back in the middle of the night after a horrible day if that weren’t true?”
Logically, she agreed. But something was off. She could feel it.
“Promise me you’ll come over tonight,” she said, clutching the sheet.