Duty to Love

by Morgan King

The question caused Amelia to pause and consider her answer. Roeburn wouldn't have asked the question if he thought she was expected, but it wouldn't normally matter enough to ask in the first place. She didn't want to lie and say yes, but equally she didn't want to leave the way open to being turned away if Roeburn didn't feel it appropriate to disturb Arthur. He must be at home or Roeburn would have said otherwise as soon as she entered.

  “We didn't agree a time.” Amelia chose to be evasive, then pressed ahead. “Is he in the study? Perhaps Mary might receive refreshment in the kitchen.” It was common for Mary to accompany Amelia to preserve propriety, but with the wedding a day away and Amelia a regular visitor since childhood she felt excusing Mary would be acceptable.

  Not waiting for a response, she quickly proceeded down the hallway ahead of her leaving Roeburn, who had not denied the study as Arthur's location, to assist Mary.

  The soft tread of her slippers allowed Amelia to approach Arthur's room quietly as she slowed her steps upon nearing the study. It would be nice to see the expression on his face if surprised by her presence.

  Arthur was in his study but not alone.

  The two menmust have sensed an intrusion, her approaching presence, for they turned to face her. Their faces became animated upon seeing her, giving smiles so similar she felt the weight of their combined warmth pulling an upwards movement from her own lips.

  “James!” she uttered his name on a cry before racing forward and flinging herself into his arms. Unprepared his arms brushed her sides and hung around her back in a low, loose hold.

  Sensing his discomfort Amelia shifted back to look at him, then turned to Arthur. Were they upset with her? Now she was to be married to him, was Arthur concerned that she might appear overly familiar with James?

  She had thought James might be happy for her and Arthur. She would not be wedded to some stranger, moving to live far away; they could carry on, the three of them, friends as before.

  Things weren't the same, though; faced with two men, tension stiffening their postures, expressions equally tight, Amelia realized she had been naive. Marrying Arthur might well mean the end of her friendship with James. They could no longer be frequently in each other’s company, completely at ease with each other, for she would belong to Arthur. A married woman was an entirely different prospect for a friend than a young girl running wild.

  When Amelia had imagined James coming back from the Army and herself entering society, she had pictured them enjoying the season together, James, with his dashing good humor, providing light relief from the monotony of town entertainments. Now she would not be having a season, and James, while as dashing as ever, did not appear in good humor.

  “I'm sorry, Arthur, I did not think. It's James. You know I would not be so improper with anyone else.” She took a step back from James, glancing at Arthur anxiously.

  “Except me?” Arthur's tone sounded pointedly hopeful, and Amelia realized he was teasing her.

  Amelia grinned. “Except you.” It used to be that James was the only one who teased her. Even when the three of them had larked around together Arthur had always been the voice of caution, unintentionally acting as a springboard to James and Amelia's rebellion. Recently Arthur had begun to tease Amelia, and every time he did it added to the feeling of warmth that centered inside her when Arthur was near.

  Had James noticed the changes in Arthur?

  Amelia turned to look at James just as she felt him tug her back into his embrace. “Come here, you little hellion.”

  This time he held her tight, her breasts pressed flush to his chest and his hands cupping her hips. For all their previous play together Amelia had never been held like this before. It was no casual embrace; it seemed full of intent.

  Amelia only realized James' s intent when he leaned down and guided his lips to hers. The initial pressure was fairytale light, unexpected, and led to everything she'd hoped a kiss could be.

  It was teasing, playful; his lips glided against hers in subtle movements, retreating then advancing into firmer contact. There was a little nip of teeth and a quick taste with the tip of his tongue.

  Amelia let herself be kissed, and she reveled in the flurry of sensations her lips were experiencing. Greedy for more she let her hands roam freely over James's back, tracing the shape of his muscles, over his powerful shoulders to the unclothed skin of his nape.

  James's hands tightened on her, pulling her closer, until their hips pressed as close as their chests. Amelia felt breathless, heady. It was a novel sensation. She'd never been one for allowing her corset to be laced too tight. She'd never imagined Arthur could make her feel like fainting.

  But, oh God, it wasn't Arthur kissing her. Amelia jerked trying to free herself of James's hold. Arthur was watching her. He was watching her kiss another man. She was kissing her fiancé's brother while he watched. Well at least she wouldn't have to keep it a secret or confess, she thought a little hysterically as she finally managed to take a step back and remain steady on her feet.

  She couldn't bring herself to look either of them in the eye. Arthur's, the color of gray slate could hold nothing but cold condemnation. James's, well, she couldn't imagine what he was thinking. Maybe he was having a bit of fun at her expense, his eyes, a beautiful navy, might well be filled with merriment.

  “I think I'll go home now, if you don't mind.” Amelia forced the words out, then determined not to let herself be cowed. “I have a lot still to do before tomorrow.”

  If Arthur didn't like the fact she'd kissed another man he should have stopped it. Well, it would be his fault if she compared their kisses once Arthur they were married.

  “James, go order a carriage for Amelia. I wouldn't want her to walk home and not leave enough time to be completely ready to be married tomorrow.”

  Amelia heard James leave the room; he had nothing else to say for himself then.

  She refused to look at Arthur. He hadn't even sounded angry at James.

  “He wanted to marry you himself, you understand.”

  Amelia blinked at Arthur's words. It still didn't make sense, why Arthur would let James kiss her if he hadn't been merely playing.

  “I don't understand. Why did he kiss me? Why did you let him? He never did or said anything like that before,” Amelia said tentatively.

  “He asked your father for your hand a few years ago, but your father told him he must wait, ‘til after Francine was married. James trusted that his suit would be looked on favorably by your father if he waited. He didn't want to put you in a difficult position by confessing his feelings.”

  “A difficult position?” Amelia couldn't quite believe she hadn't known.

  “He thought you might hate having to wait, that you would be annoyed with your father for placing further restrictions on you. He knew how upset you were when he left for the army. He thought if he spoke to you about an engagement you would be even more worried.”

  “But to say something now, to come back like this, how is that fair to any of us?”

  “It isn't, just as it isn't fair to him that I am the one marrying you. I would let you marry him if I could,” said Arthur. Amelia knew he was aware of her knowledge of the contract with her father.

  Amelia fixed her stare straight at Arthur. “You don't want to marry me?”

  “Of course I want to marry you! I just ... I just value your and James's happiness above my own. He loves you,” Arthur said.

  “And you don't? You would be happy with me, but not as much as James would be because he loves me. Is that what you're saying?” Amelia's words were tinged with bitterness. She'd thought herself in love with Arthur, but what was the point if he did not want her love, if he didn't intend to build a partnership? As for James, how could he possibly love her? He'd left her and gone away. He didn't know her anymore.

  “No, not that! I don't how to say what I'm trying to say.” Arthur raked his fingers though his hair.

  “You don't love me, and if it weren't for a contract w
ith my father you wouldn't be marrying me. There's nothing quite like the actual words, is there?” Amelia was past ready to leave. Oh if only she hadn’t been so impulsive in deciding to visit.

  “Of course I love you. I want you as my wife more than I have ever wanted anything for myself before, but don't you see? I love you and James more than myself. Is that so wrong?”

  “You love me—but you'd give me away if you could?” Amelia didn't feel able to believe Arthur's words of love. Wasn't the love of a husband selfish, possessive? She selfishly wanted that part of Arthur that no one else had: she'd imagined that marriage to Arthur would be like the pleasure of hugging a secret to herself.

  “Not give you away: give you the freedom love each other, if that's what you wanted,” he said roughly.

  “I have never considered marriage to James!” As Amelia said this, she thought to herself that she'd never considered marriage to Arthur either ‘til he'd asked her. Why was he so keen to push her and James together? Even if her feelings for James were love it would be too late for them now.

  “You seemed to enjoy his kiss,” Arthur said pointedly.

  “I . . . I want to marry you, Arthur.” Amelia couldn't deny it. The feelings James's kiss had evoked caused her some concern.

  “Even knowing James is back and would elope with you in a second? Is marriage to me what you really want, or is it that you want to be a countess, or to have the freedom to be yourself, that you know I'll gladly give you? I would know what you want from the start.”

  What did she want? Amelia had always known what she wanted, within a limited range of options. She had been happy being the younger sister allowed greater freedom to roam the grounds of her parents' country house and the neighboring Henton estate. She had wanted, then, not to have to grow up too soon and settle down.

  Following Francine's death she had begun to want more. She wanted someone of her own to love, someone to understand her, and then when Arthur had proposed she had wanted to marry him. Despite having known him much of her life, Arthur was still an enigma to her; and with the aura of power he'd grown into with ease, she desperately wanted to know and please him. When she thought of marriage, she wanted passion and a family. She'd thought she would find both with Arthur.

  It was James that had just given her her first taste of passion, though. She couldn't imagine him not being in her life. She had pleaded with him not to go into the army, and she'd known part of her was missing with him. Life had been so serious without him around. It would have been anyway, with Francine's failing health and death placing a toll on everyone, but when she thought of James she felt happy.

  How could she know what she wanted when she wanted conflicting things?

  “I want to marry you, and I want James never to leave.”

  James clearly couldn't stay if there was an attraction between them.

  Amelia felt herself flushing. “I want us to grow to love each other as husband and wife.”

  “So you aren't just marrying me because of a contract?” Arthur asked.

  Amelia shook her head.

  “As for growing to love each other I can't imagine that I could possibly love you more, but if anything could make it happen I am sure it is marriage.” There was an unmistakable heat in Arthur's eyes. Was it new, or had she never noticed his fire for her?

  “I don't need the marriage to make it happen either,” Amelia said. It was a confession straight from her heart.

  Arthur cleared his throat. “You love me?”

  Yes. Whatever her feelings for James, Amelia knew she loved Arthur.

  With her nod, she found herself suddenly experiencing her second kiss. Arthur's lips molded decisively and firmly to her own. Earlier she had felt the flick of James's tongue just before he ended their kiss, and now she could feel Arthur's tongue probing against her lips. The instant she tried to draw breath his tongue moved forward into her mouth.

  Was this how people kissed? Surely not! Arthur's tongue was in her mouth, and he was groaning, the sound rumbling from deep in his throat. Amelia had to admit hearing Arthur groan was exciting. Normally so reserved, he now seemed lost in passion, lost in her.

  Always the sort to push back if pushed, Amelia touched her tongue to his. The dueling battle that commenced had her moans countering his before long.

  Breathing harshly, Arthur finally drew away. “Don't ever doubt that I want you. I want all of you, not just your duty to me, or your body, but you heart as well. I also don't want to lose James. Do you trust me?”

  “Of course,” she said with a tentative smile.

  “Let us be married tomorrow. I will do everything I can to convince James to stay,” Arthur vowed in-between peppering her face with heartfelt kisses.

  “How can James possibly stay, if he feels as you say? He kissed me, in front of you. We are to be married, and I don't want that jeopardized.”

  “Nothing is going to jeopardize our marriage. I will make this situation work. I want James to stay, despite the difficulties, and so do you. James will do what's best for the three of us. He has already assured me of that, for the best thing is the three of us together.”

  Amelia knew it couldn't be as simple as Arthur wishing it so, although his determination often made things happen. There was little she could do about it now. They would have to see what transpired once she and Arthur were married.

  “I'd better take my leave. I only wanted to see you before tomorrow. I never imagined James would be home.” Amelia felt slightly overwhelmed by it all.

  “I arranged it with his commanding officer. I guessed there might be problems, but I wanted them out in the open before we were married. Besides, I couldn't imagine getting married without James to stand witness. Now go, before I'm tempted to steal another kiss—I don't think that wise before tomorrow night!”

  Despite her concerns Amelia left with a smile on her face.

  Chapter Three

  James did better than order Amelia a carriage, he stood by while Griggs harnessed the horses and followed as they were led from the stable to the front of the house. In fact he lifted himself into the vehicle and made himself comfortable on the seat facing the driver so that Amelia wouldn't see him the instant she entered the carriage.

  He'd already asked Griggs to see that Mary, Amelia's maid, was seated in the driver's box, slipping him a guinea to ensure his compliance. Amelia being attended in the carriage wasn't an option.

  Griggs may well be loyal to Arthur above James. All the servants treated both brothers with respect, but they knew who their master was. Yet even if Griggs were to report to Arthur it would be after the carriage ride had taken place so James wasn't concerned.

  The interior of the carriage was dim, despite the light of day outside. James could barely see the worn fabric of the seats. It was his fingertips alighting on tell-tale rough patches that made him notice the age of the carriage, a timely reminder of Arthur's financial difficulties and the reason for his marriage to Amelia.

  What might Arthur be saying to Amelia now? How would he justify James's kiss? Whatever he said, or suggested, at least Amelia now knew that James wanted her as well. Wanted and intended to have her. Nothing Arthur had said had changed James's intentions. James felt a twinge of guilt as he thought of how honest and open Arthur had been. In comparison he hadn't had the nerve to tell Arthur he still planned to ask Amelia to marry him. It would hardly be a successful elopement if the fiancé to be jilted knew in advance. This way Arthur could rightly deny all knowledge, and Whitmore could hardly blame him.

  Checking his pocket watch James leaned forward to catch a glimpse of the front of the house. It was a good twenty minutes since he'd left Amelia and Arthur alone in the study, and still there was no sign of her.

  It was another five at least before he felt Griggs jump down and open the carriage door for Amelia, supporting her gloved hand as she climbed inside. The sudden switch from the brightness outside to the dim interior of the carriage affected Amelia's eyesight. Her e
yes widened, and she took a quickly indrawn breath the moment she saw him.

  James's anxious gaze traveled from the furrows on her normally smooth brow, down her small straight nose to the softly formed O of her mouth. She seemed surprised to see him, but not angry or in shock.

  “James.” The slight tremor in her voice suggested she knew the situation was potentially dangerous, not just to her reputation, but the future order of her life.

  “Amelia,” he said, enjoying the feel of his tongue shaping her name. Over the past four years he'd had far more cause to think her name than say it.

  “What are you doing here?” Trust Amelia to get straight to the point.

  “I hoped we might talk, as we haven't seen each other in so long.”

  Amelia gave a hesitant smile. “We do have a lot to talk about. You hardly ever write to tell us what you're doing.”

  Uncertainty rippled through James, followed closely by a sense of panic. Did Amelia already see Arthur and herself as an “us”?

  Pride on the line he pressed on. “I was hoping we might talk about your marriage to Arthur.”

  Amelia bit her lip and looked out the window. “You're unhappy about it. Arthur told me of your feelings.” Her voice cracked with regret. “I didn't know.”

  “I hate to think of you being pressured by your father into accepting Arthur. He's a good man, but you should have a free choice.”

  Amelia sighed. “I've always known I'd never have a completely free choice in whom I married. Even if Francine had married Arthur Father would still have wanted to choose my husband for me. I've made the most of my situation and the freedom I've been given until now, and even though Arthur is my father's choice, he is my choice, too.”

  Shaking his head, James touched a gentle finger to Amelia's chin silently asking her to turn towards him. “He's not your only choice. You have a real choice if you want. Amelia, I love you. You can choose to marry me instead of Arthur.”

  Amelia frowned. Her light eyes normally filled with warmth now flashed with condemnation as she sent him a grave stare. Sparks of alarm pricked his skin.