Secrets and Fries at the Starlight Diner

by Helen Cox

  ‘You know, I’ve always been up front with you, except when what I knew might put your life in danger. The least you can do is be up front with me.’

  Jimmy sighed a second time. ‘Fine, you want the real reason why I’m not getting involved with you?’

  The finality of that statement shouldn’t have cut me so deep – I’d only known this guy for a week, for God’s sake. But it did. It hurt real bad and I tried to mask my pain with a disapproving frown. Who knows what the hell that looked like, but I was past caring about that – or about anything except knowing once and for all where I stood with this guy.

  ‘Yeah. I think I deserve the truth.’

  ‘Fine. Like I said, things were different when I thought you were leaving town.’ He looked at me for a response, but I gave him nothing. I kept my mouth shut and my eyes still, in disbelief of what I was hearing and how cruel he was being out of nowhere. With no input from me, he continued, ‘I’m not in the market for anything meaningful. Having fun is one thing, but getting involved long-term with a person just ain’t for me, no matter how beautiful their eyes are or how good a kisser they happen to be.’

  Maybe I should’ve been flattered by those last two lines of his, but I wasn’t. They seemed like nothing more than platitudes to soften the blow of what he was really trying to say. ‘So you don’t have any feelings for me?’

  ‘I don’t have any feelings, period,’ Jimmy said, and this time he did look at me level, right in the eye.

  ‘Oh. Well, I guess that really was my mistake,’ I said, staring at him in the hope he’d backtrack, but he didn’t. ‘You know what? Maybe now isn’t the best time to go through all this stuff. It’s been a really long couple of days for me and I just want to get home, take a shower, listen to Sam Cooke singing ‘A Change Is Gonna Come’ on repeat and go to sleep.’ I started to stand and kept my face as still as I could.

  ‘Bonnie…’ Jimmy reached out and put his hand on top of mine.

  ‘Don’t touch me, please,’ I said to him. He waited a second, looking at me hard, but then pulled his hand away again to his side of the table. I shrugged on my leather jacket.

  ‘Bonnie,’ Jimmy said again, standing with me. ‘We do need to go through these terms, I don’t want them getting you on a technicality.’

  ‘Can’t it wait till tomorrow? I’ve got my first shift here in the morning and I finish at four. Why don’t you meet me here around then and I’ll be all ears?’

  ‘Alright, I could do that. Look, I didn’t mean to—’

  ‘Please don’t.’ I shook my head at him. ‘You’ve done me a favour, really.’

  I started to walk away. As I did, I could feel Jimmy’s eyes on me, but I had to ignore that now. He’d made it clear I’d been imagining some fairy-tale scenario like the chump that I was, when all the time the guy was only interested in a bit of fun.

  I walked up to the counter. ‘Hey, Esther, could I get your key to the apartment? I really need to go home and take a shower.’

  ‘Sure, as long as you’ll be at the apartment when I’m done here. We haven’t got a spare cut yet,’ she said, reaching into a pocket on the front of her apron and presenting me with a silver key attached to a key chain made of green rubber, cut in the outline of Slimer from the Ghostbusters movies.

  ‘Yeah, I’ll be there. Probably just dozing on the sofa bed. If you knock I’ll let you in.’

  ‘You and Boyle finished already? Doesn’t even look like you’ve touched your coffee.’

  I glanced back towards the booth. Jimmy’s head was turned partway in our direction. He wasn’t quite looking at us, but he was listening in. ‘I’m more tired than I thought. We’ll go through all the paperwork tomorrow.’ I reached into my pocket and pulled out a few bucks, leftover from my busking efforts before I wound up in a cell. ‘Here. This should cover the coffees, and I appreciate you letting me stay until the trial date by the way, and for the job recommendation. God, you’ve been so good to me.’

  ‘It was the least we could do.’ Esther shook her head, dismissing my thanks. ‘Working fewer hours would actually suit me better at the moment. I took up painting a couple of months back and want to spend more time on that.’

  ‘Well, either way, I’m grateful,’ I said. ‘I’d love to see some of your work when it’s finished.’

  Before Esther could say anymore, Bernie butted in.

  ‘We’re waiting on the laundry to be delivered this afternoon but Esther’ll bring home a uniform for you tonight.’

  ‘Great,’ I said. Clearing my throat, I added, ‘What time does my shift start, sir?

  Esther sniggered at my use of the word ‘sir’.

  ‘It wouldn’t hurt you to show me a bit more respect now and then,’ said Bernie, scowling at Esther.

  ‘You know all my sass is really love in disguise.’ She smirked at him and in spite of himself Bernie smirked too.

  ‘Your shift starts at eight o’clock,’ he said, turning to me. ‘And my father was “sir”. I think we’re past being that polite to each other, kid.’

  ‘Got it.’ I smiled at him. ‘I’ll see you guys later,’ I added, making sure not to look in Jimmy’s direction. Instead, I glanced again at the man sitting up at the counter. He was wearing a navy-blue uniform, with the Metropolitan Transportation Agency logo embroidered onto the sleeve. Just before I passed by, the guy’s pale blue eyes flitted up to meet mine. He didn’t exactly smile at me, but there was a sort of smouldering intensity about his expression that was hard to ignore.

  I shook my head and looked down to the red and white chequered lino. I was such an idiot, hallucinating that this guy with broad shoulders and a jawline that could cut stone was giving me a second look when in reality I hadn’t had a shower for forty-eight hours and I could’ve done with a comb through my hair. I really was getting a little too deluded when it came to the opposite sex. Jimmy’s words were still ringing in my ears and here I was again, not five minutes later, making the exact same mistake.

  When would I ever acknowledge the truth?

  That I was the girl who was difficult to love.

  Chapter Thirteen

  My first eight-hour shift at the Starlight Diner whizzed by and before I knew it the clock was reading a quarter to four. I never realised there was so much to learn about waitressing or quite how stressful it could be – servers always seemed so friendly and relaxed when you were the one sitting in the dining chair. Well, maybe the exception to that rule was Esther. The level of sarcasm she displayed towards customers depended on what kind of a mood she was in, but it was always there.

  Bernie had buddied me and Esther up for my first stint behind the counter and she sure was a patient teacher. A couple of times I’d forgotten to ask customers exactly what kind of toast they wanted or how they wanted their eggs. I kept getting the table numbers mixed up in my head too and took the wrong food to the wrong table a couple of times, but even during the busy lunch rush, when I didn’t stop moving for even a second, Esther never lost her temper. She’d just shrug and say ‘This isn’t life or death, you’ll get it right next time,’ and somehow, each time she said that, it felt more likely that I would.

  ‘Hi, folks,’ said Mona. She’d come in to take over for the evening shift. This was the first time I’d seen her since her husband had arrested me on New Year’s Eve.

  ‘Oh, hi, Mona,’ I said. Not really brave enough to look at her direct, I looked over at Esther instead who, like me, was standing behind the counter stacking plates and coffee cups, still trying to get the shelves back in order after serving the army of people who’d trooped in for lunch.

  ‘Been busy today?’ Mona asked, her voice was quieter than usual.

  ‘Served the world and his wife for lunch,’ Esther said. ‘But our new apprentice handled herself with incredible composure.’ She walked past me to put a saucer back in its rightful place and squeezed my shoulder as she did so. I smiled, and hesitantly looked back at Mona.

  ‘You know.’ Mona took a
few steps forward and leaned over the counter so nobody else would hear what she was saying. ‘Alan was up late last night going over the statement your former boss made in Atlantic City.’

  ‘He was?’ I said, following her lead, lowering my voice and leaning in. One or two of the regulars had seen me get arrested at the party, but it was probably for the best that people swinging by from out of town didn’t find out the Starlight Diner employed murder suspects. Last thing I wanted to do was ruin the reputation of Bernie’s business.

  ‘Well, officially, I don’t know nothing about this of course,’ said Mona, with a little smirk on her face. ‘But Alan said there were already one or two things that didn’t add up and that he’d be passing the information on to Boyle.’

  ‘I can’t believe he did that. He seemed so… I was convinced he thought I’d done it.’

  ‘Well, I’d be lying if I said we’d known from the start you had nothing to do with it. At first we didn’t know what to think and the evidence was pretty damning, honey.’ Mona crossed her arms. ‘And you gotta understand, Alan was all fired up when he learned his wife, and the mother of his child, might have been working in the company of a known murderer for the past week.’

  ‘I get that, it would be a scary thought for anyone,’ I said, nodding.

  ‘But Jimmy relayed the fact you were a witness and not the culprit and Alan started looking into things. Trust me when I say that man’s devotion to justice is nothing short of an obsession. His dinner has gone into a Tupperware box more times than I can count. Last thing he’d want to see is a young, innocent woman behind bars, and I don’t want to see that happen to you either. You just gave us a scare is all.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know about the warrant. If I had I woulda come clean right from the start,’ I said.

  ‘I figured that out, honey, but you’re not to worry now. We’re gonna look after you and it’ll be all straightened out.’ Mona put a hand on top of mine and squeezed it. I managed to raise a smile even though I could feel a bitterness creeping into it. A woman I’d met a handful of times in my entire life was doing and saying all the things my own family couldn’t. Or, more to the point, wouldn’t. I gripped her hand in return, hoping she’d glean from this small signal just how grateful I was for the fact she wasn’t going to hold what’d happened against me.

  ‘Excuse me, ladies,’ came a voice with an Irish lilt in it. It was the cute guy from yesterday. He’d come in for a slice of pie and a cup of coffee about an hour ago but Esther had served him so I hadn’t had the pleasure of hearing the deep pitch to his voice. Esther hadn’t mentioned it, but then again, she wouldn’t. As far as she was concerned, Jack Faber was the only eligible man in the known universe. I’d seen a couple of guys over the course of the day trying to keep her chatting longer than necessary but each time she just answered their questions or offered a polite smile before marching back to the kitchen, oblivious.

  ‘Hi, can I help you?’ I asked, using my new job title as an excuse to give him an award-winning smile and look deep into his eyes. They were a very pale blue. Like the colour of the Detroit River on a clear day.

  ‘I’ll just get the check if that’s alright with you,’ he said, with a small smile on his lips.

  ‘Sure, no problem.’ I reached up to pull his check down off the pinboard and spun back around to show him the damage. ‘That’ll be four eighty-nine.’

  ‘You know, it’s not often you see a person with blue hair,’ he said, taking a ten-dollar bill out of his wallet and setting it down on top of the check. ‘It’s a very eye-catching feature on a woman.’

  ‘Yeah, it’s been pretty entertaining watching people’s reactions to it since I coloured it. Can’t walk down the street without people givin’ me looks. Probably think I’m a total nutjob.’ I laughed and before I could stop myself added, ‘And maybe they’re right.’

  That’s right, dumbass, in the presence of a hot guy who is giving you every ounce of his attention, the best thing to do is announce the fact that people think you’re insane. The guy wasn’t laughing but by some miracle he wasn’t backing away either.

  ‘I wouldn’t be so sure that’s what they’re thinking. On you, blue hair looks a lot more magnetic than it does ludicrous.’ His smile broadened, the kind of perfect smile you’d expect to see in a toothpaste commercial.

  ‘Well,’ I said, trying a nonchalant shrug on for size, ‘I bet you say that to all the girls with blue hair.’ Even as I said this I could feel Esther, who was standing just a few paces away behind the counter, rolling her eyes. And yes, it was a pretty lame line to use, but subtle flirtation wasn’t really my strong suit and it’d be inhospitable to send this guy away without letting him know for sure I thought he was cute, wouldn’t it?

  ‘I’m Nick.’ The guy held out his hand for me to shake.

  ‘Bonnie,’ I said, putting my hand in his and letting my eyes wander, just for a second, down his body. He worked out, that much was for sure; the muscular shape to his arms was obvious even through his shirt. But I wasn’t convinced he’d always been so buff. The shirt looked a little tight around the chest. Like maybe he’d been a bit scrawnier but had started a new health kick and beefed up. He could’ve done with a size bigger really, but I wasn’t complaining.

  ‘Not seen you in here before, Nick,’ Esther said with a sharp note in her voice. Sharp enough to warrant a glare from Mona, who had up until this point been relishing the palpable heat rising between me and Nick. ‘You new in town?’ Esther added.

  ‘Not to town,’ he said, smiling over at Esther, ignoring the frosty edge to her words and still holding onto my hand. ‘I just got a new job working security at the East Village subway stations. I saw this place and decided to check it out.’ And then he added, looking back at me, ‘And I’m very glad I did. Shame to go back to work really.’

  I managed to smile even though his words were a sad signal that this delicious conversation was going to end any second. ‘Yeah, it is a shame, but it was nice meeting you.’

  ‘You too, Bonnie,’ Nick said, finally letting go of my hand. ‘I’m sure I’ll be in again. Things are a little crazy at work right now but maybe next week I’ll get a chance to swing by. Here’s hoping you’ll be on shift.’

  ‘I work most days. Except Tuesdays. Don’t come on Tuesdays,’ I blurted out.

  ‘No Tuesdays, got it,’ he said, completely cool, as though I hadn’t just made an utter chump out of myself.

  The doorbell chimed and as I looked over I saw Jimmy stepping through the door. Though I’d no reason to, I started turning red. My eyes widened as I looked between Nick and Jimmy. Nick, sensing my panic, like I was any good at hiding these things anyway, stared at Jimmy as he approached, and looked him up and down in a way that was sure to rile Jimmy up. Jimmy noticed, of course, and narrowed his eyes at Nick, who then looked back at me.

  ‘Well, like I say, I gotta get back to work,’ Nick said. ‘But I’ll see you sometime next week, alright?’

  ‘Cool,’ I said, sensing some odd relief over the fact that Nick and Jimmy weren’t going to spend much time in the same room together, although I wasn’t sure why that should be that much of a problem. Jimmy had been pretty clear just yesterday that he wasn’t interested in me.

  On his way out, Nick passed Bernie, who was coming in to relieve Lucia from her frying duties. He hobbled down to the counter, frowning at Mona.

  ‘Hey, you not in your uniform yet?’ he said.

  ‘Keep your hair on, I’m just going to get changed now,’ said Mona. ‘Couldn’t miss Bonnie getting chatted up by that dreamboat. Did you hear that accent? He was a smooth talker in every sense of the word. I…’ The whole time Mona had been talking a dark shadow had been lengthening along Jimmy’s face. She’d at last looked at him and realised just how annoyed he was getting. ‘I really have to go get changed for my shift,’ she said, speaking faster than she would usually.

  ‘No kidding,’ said Bernie, shaking his head as Mona scuttled off into
the ladies’ room.

  ‘Before Lucia clocks off, ask her to fry me a cheeseburger, will ya?’ Bernie said to Esther, who nodded and wandered off into the kitchen.

  This whole time, I’d been avoiding Jimmy’s eyes, looking at Mona, Bernie, Esther and the last few plates I had to stack before I finished my shift, but as I reached the last one I slowly moved my stare upwards to meet Jimmy’s. His breathing was sort of huffy but his eyes looked more wounded than angry. You better believe I stared him out though. Just the day before he hadn’t even flinched when he told me nothing was going to happen between us. He needn’t think he was going to get any sympathy from me today, just because he’d witnessed some guy paying me a compliment.

  ‘So how was your first shift?’ Bernie asked me, apparently unware of the tension mounting between me and my attorney.

  ‘I think I did OK,’ I said, offering Bernie the most sincere smile I could with Jimmy glaring somewhere in my peripheral vision. ‘No major screw-ups.’

  ‘Steady now, you don’t want to overstretch yourself,’ said Bernie.

  ‘My sentiments exactly,’ I said, in the driest tone I could manage, trying to draw a smile out of him. But he just nodded his head at me. Clearly I didn’t have Esther’s knack for sarcasm. Better safe than sorry with a new boss, I guess. ‘I’m just kidding Bernie, Esther seemed really pleased with me. And I promise to do even better tomorrow.’

  ‘That’s good to hear,’ he said. Still no smile but that golden glint was shining in his eyes again, the one I’d only seen once before when he’d talked about his wife.

  ‘You almost done here?’ Jimmy said, with a harshness to his voice.

  Nice.

  So he’d spent the last few minutes huffing and puffing, not even said hello to me, and that’s the first thing he decides to say? What a jerk.

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘I’m almost done. If that’s OK, Bernie?’

  ‘Yeah, you can take off your apron, kid. Mona will be out in a second or two.’

  I did as he suggested and took off the white apron all the waitresses wore around their waists. The candy-pink uniform worn by Starlight Diner staff looked nothing short of ridiculous next to my blue hair, truth be told – though that hadn’t fazed Nick. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was down to Angela’s theory about godawful clothes giving guys ideas about tearing the garments off of you.