Secrets and Fries at the Starlight Diner

by Helen Cox

  I nodded and looked up at him with as much warmth as I could muster.

  ‘Oh, Bonnie.’ He put a hand to the side of my face. ‘Don’t take this so hard. I’m just being honest with you. I’m really pleased you told me. It was brave of you to come clean about something like this.’

  ‘Sure.’ I nodded. ‘It’s only fair, you know.’

  He withdrew his hand then and I unlocked the door for him so he could step back out into the cold Manhattan streets. Sighing, I locked the door and wondered if that was the last time I’d ever see Nick and why, if it was, I wasn’t more sad about it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  There was no way I could’ve set off for Atlantic City, not knowing if I’d return or wind up in prison for many years to come, without saying proper goodbyes to all the people I’d come to know at the Starlight Diner.

  ‘You about set?’ Jimmy asked as I gave Mona a third hug goodbye. ‘We really gotta get on the road.

  ‘Gimme a break,’ I said to Jimmy. ‘If the jury decide to lock me up tomorrow, hugs are going to be in short supply.’

  ‘I told you, you’re not going away,’ Jimmy said, shaking his head at me. ‘You got rid of all that blue junk out of your hair and you look like a vaguely respectable citizen now. I can get you off easy.’

  Jimmy had insisted that the blue hair made me look a bit nuts and when appearing in court that wasn’t the look to be going for. So I had done as he instructed and re-dyed my hair, banishing the blue. But I found I’d gotten used to it, and even sort of missed it.

  Being a brunette again, I was reminded of my old life.

  Before New York.

  Before Donald Reeves.

  Before the Starlight Diner.

  Life had been simpler for the brunette Bonnie, of course. She wasn’t facing the prospect of life in prison and she could actually hang out somewhere besides her place of work. But in a weird way, I’d felt freer in the confines of the East Village than I had anywhere else before. Not free physically, but free to be myself.

  ‘Take care of yourself, kid,’ Bernie said, without really looking at me.

  I rubbed his arm until his eyes finally did meet mine. ‘Thank you for being so kind to me. I’ll never forget it, no matter what.’

  Bernie put his other hand on top of mine. He didn’t say anything, just looked at me, specks of gold glinting in his brown eyes.

  ‘I can’t deal with this level of sentimentality,’ said Esther, who was leaning against the counter, wearing her uniform. ‘Can you just get in the car and go?’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said in a flat voice.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘Can’t help the way I’m built, you know how I am. But I’ll see you tomorrow when Jack testifies anyway. He’s under strict instructions to flirt like hell with the prosecution.’

  ‘A rather peculiar request from one’s girlfriend,’ Jack said with a wry note in his voice.

  ‘Like you’re not a big flirt anyway,’ Esther teased.

  ‘Only with you.’ Jack brushed Esther’s left cheek with the back of his hand and a faint blush trailed after his fingers.

  ‘What did I just say about the mushy stuff, Faber? Don’t you ever pay attention?’

  Jack just shook his head at Esther, probably wondering if he’d ever romance her into submission.

  The doorbell chimed and, still chuckling at Esther and Jack’s antics, I glanced over to the doorway and saw about the last person I was expecting to.

  ‘Bonnie?’ said Nick. ‘Your hair is all different.’

  That’s what he was focusing on? I hadn’t heard a peep out of the guy in six days and he wanted to talk hair? Still, on seeing him for the first time in nearly a week, it did feel a little bit like seeing him for the first time all over again. He was in his MTA security uniform, his muscles ever so slightly bulging at the sleeves and his stormy, blue-grey eyes looked somehow more intense than they had been when I’d closed the door on him last week.

  ‘Oh, yeah,’ I said, pointing at my head. ‘Brown.’

  Well done, Bonnie, I sneered inwardly. You’ve demonstrated you can tell the difference between blue and brown in front of the cute man. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jimmy glaring between Nick and me, but there was enough going on in my head without overthinking his every move too. If I happened to be attracted to a guy that wasn’t him, it wasn’t really any of his business.

  ‘I’m so glad I caught you,’ said Nick. He was holding a small bouquet of tulips and held them out to me. ‘Here,’ he said.

  I frowned at them, but then realised how ungrateful that must look. ‘For me?’ I said. ‘How come?’

  ‘I think these flowers fall into the “sorry I was a total idiot” category. I feel horrible about the way I acted the other night. You were being honest with me, and going through a really difficult time, and all I could think about was how it was affecting me. I’m so sorry.’ Nick’s eyes pleaded for forgiveness.

  ‘Oh, well, that’s alright. I understand,’ I said, though I was still a little sore over the fact he’d been so quick to judge me. Well, who wouldn’t be?

  ‘You know…’ He lowered his voice so the other customers couldn’t hear. ‘I really do believe you’re innocent. Of course I do.’

  ‘Thank you, that means a lot,’ I said, and then thought how much more it would’ve meant if he could’ve leaped to that epiphany the other night.

  ‘And look, this is probably too bold…’ Nick said, taking another step closer to me and staring hard into my eyes.

  ‘What… what is?’ I asked

  ‘Well, the thought of not seeing you again is sort of getting to me,’ he replied, running a hand through the front of my hair. His attitude had yo-yoed so dramatically since the last time we spoke I couldn’t find it in me to say anything back, or even react. I just stared at him, wide-eyed and a little disbelieving. ‘What I’m trying to say is, I didn’t want you to leave without this.’

  Without another word Nick brought his arms around mine, dipped me backwards and planted a kiss on my lips. He was enough of a gentleman not to introduce his tongue into the mix, but his lips softly pressed against mine in a way that totally made me forget where I was. I mirrored his movements and ruffled my fingers through his thick, soft hair. Slowly, so slowly, he brought me upright again before withdrawing.

  ‘Well,’ I said, opening my eyes and trying to catch my breath. ‘Thank you for taking the time to convey that message to me.’ I giggled, and felt a blush creeping up my neck.

  To my left, Jimmy cleared his throat and the sound sent a guilty chill through me. I turned to see that my friends had been watching the whole display, Jimmy included. Mona had her arms crossed while Esther had a vague smile on her face and one eyebrow raised. Bernie and Jack were pretending to start a conversation about baseball, perhaps to make out like they hadn’t been watching like everyone else, I don’t know. But there was no mistaking the fact that Jimmy had seen it all. He was looking all hot in the face. Way hotter than the stuttering old heater Bernie used in the winter months could ever hope to make him. The skin crinkled around his eyes and his forehead was locked in a tight frown. There was a sort of sting to his eyes that made my stomach churn.

  Looking back at Nick I said, ‘I’ll… I’ll see you when I get back, alright?’

  ‘Sure. I understand you can’t make any promises right now. We’ll talk when you get back.’

  ‘Alright,’ I said, turning back to Jimmy. ‘You ready?’

  ‘Am I ready?’ he said, looking down at the lino. ‘We could’ve been out of here a lot sooner if it was down to me.’ He picked up my suitcase and, without so much as a wave to anyone, stalked out of the door.

  ‘Oh boy, this is going to be a fun trip,’ I said, winking at Esther and Mona, and they both chuckled.

  ‘Bye, Bonnie.’ Jack smiled, stood from his seat at the counter and gave me a firm hug. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow and soon this will all be over, alright?’

  ‘Thanks, Jack,’ I said, wishi
ng I could believe that everything would be alright, just like he said. I pulled back from his embrace, squeezing his arms as I did so. Then there was just time to give Nick one last nod and blow a kiss to Bernie before I waved to everyone and left, following after Jimmy.

  Our rental car was parked just around the corner from the diner.

  As I approached it, I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. It was a Peugeot 405 in silver.

  I stared at it and put my hands on my hips. ‘Really? You’re going to make a woman from Detroit take what is possibly her last car ride for twenty years in a French vehicle? Haven’t you ever heard of “buy American”?’

  Jimmy, leaning against the other side of the car with his hands flat on the roof, glared at me. ‘I ain’t buying, I’m renting. Now stop being so argumentative and get in the car. I made us a mixtape for the journey.’

  ‘You made me a mixtape?’ I said, knowing this would rile him up even further. Well, if he was going to be so snippy all the time, what was the point in treading on eggshells?

  ‘Us. I made us a mixtape.’

  ‘Really. What’s the first track?’ I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  Jimmy went to open his mouth and then thought better of it. ‘You’ll find out soon enough, just get in.’

  Knowing better than to wind him up any further, even if it was a lot of fun, I climbed into the car and Jimmy started the ignition.

  Jimmy headed south on Clinton while I studied every brick and hydrant and hotdog vendor we passed. Winter still had the city in its icy grip but I rolled down the window anyway so I could breathe in the peculiar incense that could only be found in New York City: a blend of freshly baked bagels and stagnant sewers. I watched men with dogs chat up thin women out for mid-morning runs, and made a silent promise to a blind man playing the banjo on the corner of Broome Street that no matter how long it took, I’d come back to New York, someday. And when I did, I’d probably stay.

  A few minutes later, a sign flew up overhead for the Garden State Parkway and a switch flicked in my head. My shoulders tensed and I felt real thirsty all of a sudden.

  I was on my way back to Atlantic City.

  Back to the sickly scent of saltwater taffy. Back to the revving and grunting of the Jitney vans that shuttled tourists between the hotels and the slot machines. And back to that strip of glitzy casinos that lit up at night with a hellish orange glow.

  My stomach tightened. I knew right then I’d go nuts if I spent the whole two-hour journey to Atlantic City thinking about all the memories waiting for me there. Not to mention the people. The people that, if I had it my way, I’d never see again.

  ‘Jimmy, can we listen to the tape now please?’

  ‘No,’ Jimmy scowled. ‘I don’t want to, it was a stupid idea.’

  ‘Jimmy, come on, stop being a jerk and just let me play the tape. You know I love music. If I go to prison I’m not going to hear much music.’ I thought back to when Karen and I used to beg Dad for stuff on long car journeys as kids, back when he’d take us out for Sunday drives in his 1969 Dodge Charger. He was always in a good mood when he was driving that car, and almost always caved into our requests. I made my voice as similar to the one I’d used back then as possible. ‘Please?’

  ‘Fine,’ Jimmy said, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. He sighed, fumbled in his jeans pocked and chucked the tape at me while changing lanes.

  Ignoring his attitude, I opened the cassette case and pushed the tape into the deck. There was a brief crackling sound and then the music began. I tried not to let my eyes widen as the opening chords to ‘Take My Breath Away’ by Berlin played out. Surely one of the most romantic songs ever written? Well, at least in the last decade. And then I tried not to think about Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis making out in that scene from Top Gun, or me and Jimmy making out, right now. I looked across at Jimmy, who was pretending to check his rear-view mirror in a bid to avoid my eyes.

  If he’d really made this mixtape for us, surely he would’ve just picked out standard road-trip tunes. Like ‘On the Road Again’ or something. It couldn’t be a coincidence that he’d started off with something this romantic, could it?

  Staring at him, I said, ‘I love this song.’

  He looked at me out of the corner of his eye again. ‘I love it too,’ he said. The corners of his mouth were definitely slanting upwards. And something about that, something I couldn’t explain and didn’t want to analyse, made me smile.

  Chapter Twenty

  About an hour after we’d checked into our motel, two knocks sounded on my door. Followed by one knock. Followed by two more quick knocks.

  That was the signal me and Jimmy had figured out, so I’d know it was him on the other side of the door, rather than one of Frankie’s heavies. Jimmy didn’t think Frankie would make another attempt on my life so close to the trial, or in his home town, where the finger might be more readily pointed at him, but he also said there was no harm in being careful.

  I looked one last time in the small, square mirror hanging near the door. Re-dying my hair back to brown had made me feel, yet again, like I was staring at a stranger. It was odd. The blue bob was supposed to be a temporary disguise but somehow I’d felt more myself with that outlandish, weirdo hairdo than I ever had before. Being a brunette seemed so ordinary by comparison, and, any way you looked at it, ordinary was not a word you’d use to describe me. Still, my natural colour did bring out the green in my eyes and there was no denying how rich and full it looked next to my red lipstick. It wasn’t unattractive, it just wasn’t me. Not anymore.

  The rhythmic signal sounded out on the door again. The slightly quicker pace to it betrayed Jimmy’s impatience, and then he shouted, ‘Bonnie? You in there?’

  What was the point of using the code if he was going to just shout through the door anyway?

  ‘Yes, just a second,’ I called, glancing at my reflection one last time before opening up. Jimmy was standing outside, wearing his Levis, a white vest and a maroon plaid shirt. Over that he had on his sheepskin coat. It wasn’t as cold here as it had been in New York but it was hardly tropical either.

  ‘Hey,’ I said, smiling even though he had a frown on his face.

  ‘You have to leave me standing out here like that?’

  ‘I was only a second in answering,’ I replied. I really shouldn’t have found it so funny to see him agitated, but it always happened over such little things, it was difficult to take him seriously. It was even more of a challenge to keep a straight face today because just beyond him, across the road, was the giant backside of an elephant. Not a real one, I should add. The stress of the court trial had got to me, sure, but I hadn’t gone nuts and started imagining elephants floating around the place. It was a building shaped like an elephant – but I guess that didn’t make it any less bizarre. Her name, I knew from my time living in Atlantic City, was Lucy, and according to a little plaque that hung nearby she’d been built during the late 1800s as an elaborate viewing deck. People interested in buying real estate in the area used to climb up to the top of the elephant and have prime spots pointed out to them.

  Apparently, this all seemed normal to folks at the time. These days she was just a tourist attraction with an attached gift shop.

  The doorway framed Jimmy and Lucy’s rear end in such a way that even with the scowl on his face he looked nothing short of comical.

  ‘Oh, you think it’s funny to keep me standing out here?’

  ‘No. I—’

  ‘Well, if that’s the thanks I get for caring, maybe it’s best we forget tonight,’ he said, turning to walk away.

  ‘Jimmy,’ I said, my voice soft.

  He stopped but didn’t turn around.

  ‘You know I didn’t mean any harm. Why don’t you tell me why you’re so mad at me for taking a whole three seconds to answer the door?’

  He stood there with his back turned for at least another half a minute. His chest heaved up and down as he debated, I assumed, whether or no
t to do what I’d asked.

  Slowly, he turned to reveal a rare sheepish look on his face. I let my head hang a little to the right, signalling I was waiting for some kind of explanation. He pushed his hands into the pockets on his jeans and looked at me.

  ‘You got shot at two weeks ago.’ Jimmy said the words slowly, as though only just understanding the fact properly. ‘You were almost killed. While we’re here, do me a favour and answer the door faster so I know you’re not lying dead in the bathtub, alright?’

  So that was it. He was worried about me. Though I hadn’t meant to upset him, my heart beat harder at the thought of him caring that much.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, leaning against the doorframe. ‘I’ll make it clear I’m alive a lot quicker next time, I promise.’ At this comment, the corners of his mouth edged upwards enough to assure me I was forgiven. Then he nodded his head to the right, indicating it was time to go.

  Jimmy had insisted on going to dinner together. We were both hungry after the journey and there were some final points to go through before the trial tomorrow, things he said I should know before going in.

  Real quick, I turned back to the beige room, in which the only dash of colour was a floral shade perched on the lamp at the side of the bed, and grabbed a small, navy clutch purse. I’d bought it especially for my court appearance in an attempt to look more presentable, but it wouldn’t hurt to use it once tonight. It complemented the mustard shift dress I was wearing and matched the navy heels I’d also bought for the trial. I pulled my leather jacket on over the top. It didn’t go with the outfit at all but it was the only coat I had and it was too cold to go out without it.

  Swinging back around again, I closed the door and locked it behind me.

  ‘How far is this place?’ asked Jimmy as we crossed over the highway, walked past Lucy’s bulky grey form to get to the seafront and passed a massive billboard for the Taj Mahal Casino. The words ‘Where the jackpots never stop’ ran across it in gold type.

  ‘Only a few minutes along the promenade,’ I replied. ‘Sorry you’re not out on the boardwalk, enjoying the glitz of the casinos.’