Secrets and Fries at the Starlight Diner

by Helen Cox

  There it was, my first blush after waking up from a bullet wound. Jimmy’s eyes had a gleam to them as he looked between the two of us but he wasn’t so easily embarrassed as I was.

  ‘I’ll notify your doctor you’re awake. He’ll want to give you a check-up and talk to you about the healing process,’ the nurse continued. With the lightest and briefest of touches, she put her hand on mine. ‘You’ve been very lucky, but you’ll be alright now.’

  I’d heard that phrase a few times in the last month or so, people telling me that everything was going to turn out alright. But this time, more because I chose to than anything else, I believed it.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  ‘So, how’d it go with your parents?’ asked Esther.

  I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye to see she was sitting cross-legged on a chair next to me, flicking through a copy of the National Enquirer, while Jolene, a hairdresser who came highly recommended by the staff at the Starlight Diner, trimmed the ends of my bob.

  ‘They were a lot warmer than they usually are,’ I said, thinking about the way my dad had swung open the hospital door and sped towards my bed for a hug. I couldn’t even remember the last time he’d hugged me. Couldn’t remember the last time my Dad did anything other than frown at me.

  ‘I thought I’d never get the chance to say I was sorry,’ he’d said, and when I drew back from the hug I gasped to see there were tears in his eyes. Mama and Karen looked just as sorry, and though inside I knew there was a long journey ahead in terms of forgiving them for the way they’d treated me, I didn’t hold it over them right then. I was too surprised at their affection for me, and frankly, too exhausted. There’d be another time for The Big Talk. For trying to help them understand that nothing I’d done in my life was to spite or embarrass them. I was just following my dreams. I couldn’t help it. They may be content to be ruled by their heads but I had to follow my heart. It was just the way I was built.

  ‘I’m glad they were kinder to you this time,’ said Esther. ‘You didn’t deserve the way they treated you, you know that, right?’

  ‘I think I do,’ I said. ‘It’s hard though, when your parents talk to you like that, not just once but your whole life. When they tell you that the one thing you have to give to the world isn’t worth giving.’

  ‘Well, to be clear, much as I love to hear you play, you have a lot more to give to the world than just your music,’ Esther said. ‘But maybe your parents have had a bit of a wake-up call.’

  ‘Yeah. It’s pretty amazing what getting shot can do for family relations,’ I said, and then realised that was probably a sentence best kept in my head.

  ‘Oh Lord, you got shot?’ said Jolene, holding her hand, fingernails painted neon yellow, flat against her forehead.

  ‘Uh, yeah,’ I said, feeling the heat rising in my cheeks. ‘But I’m gonna be OK.’

  Jolene cocked her head to one side and frowned. ‘You in some sorta gang?’

  ‘No.’ I laughed at the idea and Esther joined in. ‘I just trusted the wrong guy.’

  Though Jimmy had been more than loving towards me during my four-day stint in hospital, I still hadn’t totally shaken Nick’s betrayal. The looks he’d given me right before he put that cushion over my head. The things he said about me being a loner that nobody would miss.

  ‘What happened to the guy?’ Jolene asked.

  I looked at Esther and she looked back at me.

  ‘He’s dead,’ I said, still not really believing it. Every time the topic came up I had to try, with all my might, not to think about his lips against mine, or all the lines he fed me that I swallowed down because I was confused and lonely.

  ‘I tell ya,’ said Jolene, pointing her scissors at me through the mirror as she spoke, ‘anybody shoot at me, they better make sure I’m dead. I’m not the forgiving type and as you may have noticed I’m somewhat familiar with sharp implements.’ Jolene snipped the scissors together a couple of times at this comment and a sneaky, mischievous smile crossed her lips.

  Looking at her, I couldn’t help but smile myself and as I did I realised that although I might not get over all that had happened to me in a hurry, it was going to happen a lot faster with friends around me. Friends like Esther and Mona and Lucia. Friends I may never have made if I hadn’t chosen to come to New York after witnessing that murder.

  I could just have easily decided to run home to my blood relatives. If I had, I’d have missed out on discovering my real family.

  ‘At least Nick can’t do any more to hurt you,’ Esther said, and then, as though sensing the issue of Nick was a bit raw, added, ‘So long as you don’t let him. So long as you look forward.’

  She reached a hand across and squeezed my arm.

  ‘Yes,’ I said, looking into her deep blue eyes. ‘For the first time in as long as I can remember there seems to be a “forward” to look to.’

  ‘And what will it look like? I take it you’re not in a hurry to get back to Detroit?’ Esther raised an eyebrow at me.

  ‘No.’ I gave my head a little shake and then followed that up with a ‘Sorry!’ to Jolene.

  ‘No problem, but you try and keep still now,’ she said, snapping her gum as she spoke. She blew one of her white-blonde ringlets out of her face and leaned in closer to the back of my head.

  Esther closed the copy of the Enquirer and gave me her full attention. ‘You’re not still thinking about California are you?’

  ‘No,’ I said, making eye contact with her through the mirror.

  A small smile fought its way onto Esther’s lips. ‘Are you going to stay?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘While the trial business was going on, I thought that life was trying to tell me something the hard way. But I don’t think that anymore.’

  ‘What do you think now?’ Esther prompted.

  ‘I don’t think life was trying to tell me something.’ Tears formed in my eyes as I spoke. ‘I think it was trying to lead me somewhere. Here. To you and Jack and Bernie and Mona. I think this is where I was meant to wind up all along.’

  ‘I see,’ Esther said. ‘And I suppose a certain reporter who happens to have been by your hospital bed night and day has nothing to do with this sudden desire to stick around in New York?’

  I laughed. ‘You think I’m nuts, don’t ya? To fall for a guy like Jimmy Boyle.’

  ‘Honestly, if I was setting you up on a date he wouldn’t have been my suitor of choice, but even I can’t deny that when it comes to you he’s proven himself as somebody who can be trusted. And believe me, I never thought I’d hear myself say those words. And I’m not sure you should be in a hurry to apprise him of it. Maybe it’s best to keep him on his toes,’ Esther said.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘I know he’s not your favourite person but I’m afraid he is my favourite person.’

  ‘Understood,’ Esther said with a nod.

  ‘Right,’ said Jolene. ‘Time to get you dried and styled.’ Without another word, she turned the hairdryer on and blasted it at my head. With my hair being so short these days it didn’t take long to dry, and sure enough, in less than ten minutes Jolene had expertly turned my hair under just below the jawline using a small round brush.

  She rubbed some serum into her hands and ran them through my hair.

  ‘There you go, what do you think?’ Jolene asked as I stared into the mirror.

  A woman with sparkling green eyes and a bright blue bob – salon quality, not shop bought this time – smiled back at me. She was the same woman who’d stared back at me that second night in New York, but somehow it didn’t feel like it. Even after all that’d happened, the woman I looked at now seemed less wary and had a glow about her I hadn’t noticed before. The special kind of glow a person gets when they know in their heart they are loved.

  ‘I think I look like who I’m meant to be,’ I said.

  ‘I’m not taking you to your party if you’re going to get all philosophical on me,’ said Esther.

  ‘Party? W
hat party?’ I frowned as I noticed Jolene smiling to herself in the mirror. When Esther had suggested I spend my first day out of hospital getting pampered at the hairdresser I figured it was just a way to cheer me up. Now it was clear this was all part of some plot I had no idea about. ‘I’m not sure I need another party after the last one.’

  ‘You don’t want to miss this one,’ Esther smiled. ‘You’ll see.’

  Chapter Thirty

  An early dusk was drawing in and on the short walk between Jolene’s and the Starlight Diner I spent quite a bit of time side-stepping the ice that’d glazed the sidewalks for weeks. Over the suffocating exhaust fumes and the smell of warm pretzels, however, a leafy undercurrent was blowing through the branches of the trees that line the streets of the East Village. Spring wasn’t with us, not yet. But the freshness in the air told me that it would be soon. That before long the frost of the winter would melt, giving way to light and warmth.

  Walking into the diner with Esther at my side, I smiled to hear ‘Love is Strange’ by Buddy Holly playing out over the jukebox just as Jimmy walked over to greet me.

  ‘Blue,’ he said with a smile, before putting his hands on my cheeks and giving me a kiss.

  A few moments later, once we’d both caught our breath, Jimmy put his arm around my shoulder and I looked at the familiar restaurant to see there were no customers today. Instead, there were streamers draped all around and a hand-painted banner hanging just above the counter that read, ‘Welcome Home, Bonnie.’ But most important of all, I had family there. The kind of family you choose.

  Jack, Esther had explained on the walk here, was running late, but everyone else was in attendance. Bernie, Lucia, Angela, Walt, Jean, Mona, Alan and a kind of awkward-looking Detective Rivera. Her eyes darted left to right as she stood stiff and straight, even though she was dressed casual in a pair of blue jeans and a deep green shirt. I smiled at her for the hand she had had in proving my innocence, and although this didn’t seem to be her scene, she tilted her bottle of beer in my direction and permitted a hesitant smile to cross her lips.

  Esther, Jimmy and me walked over to the counter where Bernie was standing.

  ‘This is the party you should’ve had at New Year,’ he said to me when we were close enough to hear him over the music and other chatter. ‘I guess 1991 starts here for you.’

  I leaned back against the counter, looking at him. ‘Well, I don’t do anything the way everyone else does so I don’t see why celebrating New Year should be any different. Would’ve preferred not to get shot though.’

  Jimmy, for all the jokes he’d made back at the hospital about me milking my injury, put his arm around me again at that comment. Instinctively, I rubbed a hand over my ribs. My body was still sore, not just from the bullet but from the stress and trauma of the past thirty days.

  ‘Hey, kid, all the best people get shot. The Kennedy brothers, Martin Luther King Jr., John Lennon. You’re just lucky enough to have survived it,’ said Bernie.

  ‘That’s an interesting theory,’ I said. Looking into Bernie’s eyes, I saw that gold glint in them I’d seen a couple of times before. ‘But I know it’s meant to cheer me up so I’ll take it.’

  Bernie patted my arm, which was about as openly affectionate as he got.

  Mona came over then and her husband stood just behind her.

  ‘Alan,’ I said, leaning up and pecking him on the cheek.

  ‘You doing alright?’ Alan asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

  ‘Thanks to you. You saved my life. Probably both of our lives,’ I said, remembering again how red Jimmy’s face had been when Nick was choking him.

  ‘Well, I don’t know. He still managed to fire a shot on my watch. A near deadly one at that,’ Alan said, his eyes lowering.

  ‘Please don’t blame yourself for that,’ I said. ‘I should’ve seen through Nick long before he put a bullet in my back. But he knew what he was doing. He fooled us all.’

  ‘Last time I trust a stranger just because he’s got a nice set of teeth,’ said Mona.

  ‘Anyway, who wants to think about him anymore? It’s all done… And I see the blue hair is back.’

  ‘Yeah, I got it re-coloured this morning, much to Jimmy’s delight, I’m sure,’ I said, laughing.

  ‘I don’t give a damn what colour your hair is,’ Jimmy said, kissing the side of my head. ‘Long as it’s not a his-and-hers kinda deal.’

  While I was busy giggling at the thought of Jimmy with blue hair, Mona looked between the two of us and asked, ‘Any thoughts on what you’re going to do now?’

  I looked at Mona’s warm, knowing face and glanced at my boyfriend out of the corner of my eye. ‘I want to stay here in New York. And I’d like to work on some of my own music.’

  ‘No more tribute acts?’ said Esther.

  ‘No,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘No way. Those days are gone. From now on, I’m going to sing what’s in my own heart. Not what’s in someone else’s.’

  ‘You didn’t happen to keep the costume though, did you? The one from the Sexties you told me about.’ Jimmy raised both his eyebrows at me.

  I laughed and stroked his cheek. ‘Maybe I did and maybe I didn’t. You’ll have to stick around if you want to find out.’

  ‘Hi, all,’ Jack said, out of breath but still taking a split second to peck Esther on the cheek before recovering himself. ‘Sorry I’m a bit late, I just had a meeting with my agent that I didn’t think was ever going to end. She kept going on and on about me auditioning for the new Batman movie.’

  Esther looked at Jack for a moment, her mouth twitching. Her eyes sparkled and then, without warning, she clamped a hand over her mouth and burst into hysterical laughter. Walt, on seeing Esther get this giddy, joined in and started sniggering.

  ‘Batman,’ Walt howled. ‘I hope you like your men in tights.’

  At this, Esther laughed harder than I’ve ever seen her laugh before, her shoulders shaking as she looked between Jack and Walt.

  ‘Alright, alright, it’s not that funny,’ Jack said, trying to temper his smile.

  ‘It is you know,’ Esther said, wiping a tear from her eye.

  ‘You don’t fancy a stint as the caped crusader?’ I asked, but even as I said it and looked at Jack, I realised how ridiculous it sounded.

  ‘Not my scene,’ Jack said, still sighing at how funny Esther was finding this. ‘Besides, I don’t think there’s a future in superhero movies. Nobody takes them seriously.’

  ‘No, and I definitely wouldn’t be able to take you seriously if you made a movie like that,’ Ether said.

  ‘You don’t take me seriously anyway,’ Jack quipped. ‘Anyway, what did I miss?’

  ‘Well, Bonnie’s hair is blue again,’ Esther said.

  ‘Yeah, I figured that out by myself,’ Jack said, and then pointed at himself. ‘Not just a pretty face.’

  ‘Some might argue not even that,’ Esther said, determined to out-sass her boyfriend. ‘And in other news, Bonnie’s going to work on some of her own music.’

  ‘You’ve definitely got the talent,’ Jack said.

  ‘Yeah, but funding might be a problem,’ I said. I looked at Bernie and tilted my head to one side. ‘What do you think? Am I a good enough waitress to keep on?’

  What happened next, I was not expecting. Bernie’s lips started moving in an upward direction. His lips parted, just quarter of an inch or so, to reveal a set of straight teeth which, while not white, weren’t as discoloured as you might think, considering he’d lived mostly off diner food for the last thirty years. I wanted to say something about his smile out loud, more to reassure myself it was actually happening than anything else, but I figured if I drew attention to it he might never smile ever again out of pure stubbornness, so I kept quiet.

  ‘You’re not only a good waitress, kid,’ Bernie said. ‘You’re a good friend. Of course I’ll keep you on. Besides, Esther tells me she’s become accustomed to working fewer hours so she can work on her “art”,’ he said
, drawing quotation marks with his hands.

  ‘Hey, I don’t think air quotes are quite called for, thank you.’ Esther narrowed her eyes at him but Bernie ignored her.

  ‘And,’ he said, looking over his shoulder to check that Jean, who was sitting in a booth talking to Lucia, wasn’t in earshot, ‘I can’t exactly up Jean’s hours. The kid breaks enough crockery as it is.’

  ‘So you don’t mind hanging on to a blue-haired waitress?’ I asked.

  ‘Huh, if you think you’re the weirdest waitress I’ve ever employed I’m sorry to tell you that you’re not even in the running.’ Bernie eyed Esther as he said this. Esther noticed and sighed heavily in his direction, but that was really all the effort she could be bothered putting in when it came to registering her displeasure.

  ‘Well, if I’m officially allowed to stay, I think I’ll celebrate with a drink,’ I said, looking up at Jimmy to check he was in agreement.

  I trailed along to the end of the counter while Jimmy followed behind me.

  ‘God, it seems like a lifetime ago that we were last stood here together,’ I said to him while pulling the caps off a couple of beers.

  ‘Yeah, it’s been one hell of a month, that’s for sure,’ he said, looking at me. ‘You going to keep staying at Jack and Esther’s?’

  ‘Yeah. Well, right now I don’t have much of a choice,’ I said, swigging from my bottle. ‘I can’t afford my own place yet. But maybe in time.’

  ‘Well, you know you’re welcome at my place, right?’

  ‘After what happened in Atlantic City I bet I am.’

  Jimmy laughed but then his face got all serious, like it did sometimes without any warning at all. ‘You know there’s more to this than that.’

  ‘I know,’ I said, noticing for the first time that his brown eyes were dotted with green.

  ‘Besides, I don’t want no girlfriend of mine sleeping on Jack Faber’s sofa any longer than she has to,’ he said, looking over at Jack, who had his arms around Esther while he chatted to Alan. ‘I want us to have our own place.’