In the Face of Darkness

by Sarah Dell

I woke up to the sounds of crashing waves and realized that I must have drifted off. The sun had moved lower in the sky, threatening to end my last day with Matthias. Matthias was still sleeping next to me. The weight of his arm gave me a comfort I couldn’t understand, but it also filled me with sadness because I knew I would never feel this way again. I would do anything to make this never end.

  Then I heard something like a voice calling to me from the water. It was like the water itself was calling to me and I couldn’t resist. I walked out into the waves, hesitating when I felt the chill of the water penetrate my skin all the way to my bones; but the call was too much to resist. I kept walking until the I was completely submerged in the water. I wasn’t used to the feeling of powerlessness that I felt as the waves took me deeper and deeper under the water. I realized that without my vampire powers I should be drowning, but I wasn’t. It was as if the ocean was giving me just enough air to breath.

  They saw me before I saw them; they were all beautiful young women with hair to their waists. Then I noticed that they were all naked. The one I had first seen made a motion with her head as if she wanted me to follow her. I copied her movements as she took me even deeper under the ocean. The other women followed behind us. I could feel the pressure of the ocean bearing down on me as we swam deeper and deeper. Just when I thought I couldn’t go any deeper we came to a cave. The woman I had been following stood on the ledge of the cave and motioned for me to go on without her. I stopped and looked at her wondering if she would follow me into the cave. She shook her head as if she understood my thoughts.

  The cave was dark and without my vampire sight I was completely blind. I had to feel the cave wall to know where I was going. I was beginning to think that this was madness, but what could I do now. I just had to keep walking. The woman had to have led me here for a reason. I just hoped it wasn’t so that I could die.

  Just when I was about to turn back I started to see faint shadows. They started as just gray flashes, but then I saw the streaks of light. I walked faster and the light grew brighter the farther into the cave I went. I realized that I was no longer in the water, but had walked into a pocket of air. I found that the light was coming from a fire.

  The fire was lit in an ornate hearth in the center of a large room. In front of the hearth was a woman lounging on a velvet covered couch. She was intently watching the flames dance in the hearth as if she had been there for hundreds of years just waiting for me to find her.

  “Come and sit with me in front of the fire so I can see what you look like” she said. Her voice was like honey, it was sweet and it clung to the air. As I came closer I saw that her skin was pale and looked as if it would be cold to the touch. Her hair was a warm chocolate brown, and it hung in loose curls around her heart shaped face. Her eyes were the palest green I had ever seen. I sat on the couch opposite from the woman.

  “I thought you would be prettier” she said once she got a good look at me.

  “I’m sorry…” I didn’t know what else to say.

  “Oh well… I suppose there is only so much bloodlines can do, and it's not as if you're ugly, I just thought you would be…well… I guess that’s not important” she said. “I see you found the Island” she said.

  “Who are you?” I asked. It sounded rude even as I asked it, but I did want to know and she didn’t seem to be volunteering the information.

  “You already know who I am” she said.

  “You’re my mother” I said.

  “Yes”.

  “I saw you when I was with the fortune teller, but you looked different” I said.

  “You saw me thru her eyes so you saw what she imaged me to look like” she said. “This is the first and last time you will ever see me, but I had to warn you that you can’t stay on the Island”.

  “But the Brotherhood says it is the only way” I said.

  “Of course they did” she said. “Those idiots will never understand destiny” she said. “You can’t hide from what you are. You have a destiny and you have to find it. All that waits for you there is death” she said.

  “The Brotherhood told me I could have a normal life” I told her.

  “They lied to you. They aren’t going to risk keeping you a alive. They are planning to kill you” she said.

  “How do you know?” I asked.

  “Caligari is my grandson and your nephew” she said. “His mother was one of my descendants, the last descendant before you. She died because she couldn’t control the power and she took Caligari’s father and his sister with her. Caligari is not going to risk letting you live” she said.

  “If descendants are so dangerous why would you risk making another one?” I asked.

  “I made you because you are different” she said.

  “How am I different?” I asked.

  “You just are” she said. “Now go.”

  “But where will I go?” I asked more to myself than to her. For a day I had believed that I could have a normal life, but now my mother was telling me that I had to give up this life. She was telling me that I had to risk the destruction of the world or let the Brotherhood kill me. Maybe this world would be better off without me. Maybe I should just let the Brotherhood kill me. It wasn’t the first time I had thought that death was the better option. I wished that this day had never existed, that I had never been allowed to see the life I was giving up. It had been easier when I hadn’t known what was taken from me.

  “Once you leave you will find your way. I wish you could have had a real mother who would have taken care of you and given you advice, but all I can do for you is to tell you to leave the Island. Don’t try to find this place again because you won’t be able to” she said. Her tone made it clear that our conversation was over. I stood from the couch and walked to the opening of the cave. I was suddenly emerged in water again. I looked back, but the opening to the cave was gone. I swam to the surface alone. Apparently the water women had better things to do.

  I walked back up to the beach to find Matthias waiting for me. I wanted to see his lazy half grin that I hated, but his face was far from happy. There was sadness in his eyes that I didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to remember him this way. I only wanted to think of him as being happy. I didn’t want to remember this moment. I didn’t even want this moment to happen, but I knew that I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t have had last night without having today. I couldn’t have had the sweetness of that one perfect day without the bitterness of goodbye. Even though I would not be staying on the Island I could still never be with Matthias. Our lives would be too different. Once I left the Island I would be a vampire again. I knew Matthias wouldn’t be with me as a vampire.

  “You should just leave now. I think it will be easier” I told him. “I don’t want to say goodbye”.

  “If that’s what you want” he said. I felt a wealth of emotion welling up inside me. I wanted to make the feelings stop. I wanted to not care that I would never see Matthias again. I didn’t want to think about what was going to happen the moment I left the Island. I just wanted to enjoy the last moments I would ever have with Matthias.

  “I love you” it was the first and only time I would ever say those words.

  “I love you too” he caressed my cheek as he brushed a lock of my hair from my face. I felt the feelings welling up again, but I managed to push them down. He pressed his lips hard against mine and I savored the touch. I drank in the sweet taste of his lips. I wanted to remember this feeling forever.

  “I’ve wanted my freedom for so long, but now all I want is you” he said.

  “You have to go and be with your family” I told him.

  “You’ll be safe here. Promise me you’ll stay here. Promise me you will make a life for yourself here, and that you will forget about me” he said.

  “I promise” I lied. How could I tell him the truth? How could I tell him that I would never be safe? I co
uldn’t tell him that I would never have the happy life I wanted. He would have a good life. He would be with his family again. He would find someone else, someone who made him happy. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy, and I knew that I would never make him happy. he needed to find someone else to make him happy.

  “I have to leave now. I won’t say goodbye, but I am going to kiss you one more time” he said. I lost myself in that last kiss. I lost myself in the way he molded his body to mine; in the way that our lips just knew what the other wanted. I wanted to stay lost forever, but all too soon I felt him pull away. I wanted to resist; I wanted to hold him there, but I wouldn’t do that because I knew that would only make it harder for him to leave.

  Once he pulled away my mind began to resister where I was again. The portal that would take him to the freedom he had always wanted was a few paces behind us. He picked up the bag I hadn’t noticed he had been carrying. Just before he left he looked back at me and shot me a lazy half grin, and I almost cried. He was giving me the one thing I wanted. He was giving me a good last memory and I would give him the same; so I held back the tears that threatened to fall, and I gave him the biggest smile I could muster. He knew I was faking it, but it didn’t matter as this last look was all we would ever have. I watched as he disappeared thru the thin veil of the portal.

  I felt the weight of a hand on my shoulder. Normally this feeling would give me comfort, but it didn’t this time. I knew the hand belonged to Caligari before I turned to look at him.

  “I need you to come to my office so we can discuss your place on the Island” he said.

  “What is my place here?” I asked.

  “I’d prefer to talk in my office”.

  “I’d prefer not to die”.

  “I wanted to do this quietly, but if you want to do this here we can do this here” he said. I noticed that Caligari was not alone. There were two large looking members of the Brotherhood behind him. Two days ago I wouldn’t have been afraid of three humans, but now I was realizing how small and frail I was as a human. I had wanted this, to be human again, but I didn’t want to feel this helpless. For the first time I wanted to be a vampire again. I wanted to feel the power I felt as a vampire. I didn’t want this to be the way it ended for me.

  “You don’t have to do this” I told him.

  “You have to understand” he said. “It’s not that I want to kill you”.

  “Then don’t, just let me stay here on the Island” I said.

  “I can’t risk anyone getting hurt because I didn’t do what needed to be done” he said. “You’re not the only water descendant out there. Several years ago there was a water descendant who lost control and killed many people, one of which was my mother. Don’t worry, I’ll make it as quick and painless as I can. That’s more than my mother got” he said. “Just turn around and look at the ocean. It will be over soon” I noticed the gun in his palm, and I felt chill down my spine. I used to think that if I couldn’t be human I would rather be dead, but now I was rethinking that opinion. I looked pass Caligari and into the thin veil of the portal that would take me back to the world that I knew. I could run for it, but I would never make it. All I could do was what Caligari said and spend my last moments looking at the ocean.

  I was tired of fighting and there was nothing I could do. I was just a frail human. This is what I wanted. I heard the gunshot and waited for the pain, but it didn’t come. For a moment I thought Caligari was right. I thought he had given me a painless death. I thought that the afterlife looked just like the beach on the Island.

  I heard a second gun shot. Then I realized that I was still on the Island. I turned and saw that the two brothers with Caligari were lying face down in the sand. Matthias was standing over the fallen men with a gun pointed at Caligari. Caligari was pointing the gun he held at Matthias. I wondered why Matthias would come back. He could have had everything he ever wanted, but now he had a gun pointed at his head.

  “You’re not part of this” Caligari said.

  “You’re wrong” Matthias said. “Lily, go” he said.

  “I can’t leave you” I said.

  “You have to” he said.

  “No”.

  “Lily, you have to go” I knew this was my only chance to get to the portal, but my feet were rooted to the ground. I couldn’t leave Matthias. Then I heard the shot and I watched him fall. I watched as Caligari turned to aim the gun at me. I ran for the portal as fast as I could. I was barely thru the thin veil before the gun went off.

  Then I was in the men’s room of the Jackson airport again. I slowly walked out of the stall. There was a man at the urinal who turned to look at me. I shrugged at him before I walked out of the restroom and in to the main terminal. I didn’t think Caligari would follow me though the portal, but I kept walking at a fairly quick speed, and I quickly was lost in the crowd.

  Once I was out of the airport I ran with my vampire quick speed. I didn’t care where I was going; I just wanted to be far from the portal. I stopped running when I came to a park. It was night so the park was dark and quiet. I fell to my knees in the thick green grass, and I let the tears fall. I let every tear I had ever held in fall onto the plush soil. It wasn’t long before I felt like every drop of water had been rung from my body.

  “It’s ok sweetheart” I heard the familiar sing song voice. I looked up to see Endora's sweet smile looking down on me.

  CHAPTER 11