Merry Ex-Mas

by Sheila Roberts

  “Okay, fine with me,” Larry said. “We’ll kick back and have a beer in your honor. Just make sure you’re well by Friday.”

  “I’ve never missed a gig,” Jake assured him, and loaded his guitar in its case.

  He pulled up in front of the house fifteen minutes later, just as Ella and the slime in a suit were arriving. Jake got out of his truck and eyed the Lexus with disfavor. What a wussy car.

  They didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get out so he took his time going up the walk. They kept sitting in the wussmobile. Jake ditched his guitar and let Tiny out for some air. Tiny was happy to see him and equally happy to trot around the front yard, sniffing the bushes. Jake stood on the porch and watched…Ella and Axel.

  Finally Fuchs got the hint and vacated the car, going around and opening the door for her. She slid out and flashed a well-curved leg from under her winter coat. Ella had great legs. Heck, Ella had great everything.

  Here they came up the walk together, both frowning.

  Three’s a crowd, huh? Too bad. He stood in the open doorway, leaning on the door frame. “Hey, kids, how was the dance?”

  Ella glared at him, but Axel refused to rise to the bait, merely smiling pleasantly. Always the good businessman.

  Now they were on the porch. “Were you going in?” Ella asked pointedly.

  “Tiny’s not done.”

  “I can watch him,” Ella said.

  “I don’t mind.”

  Axel gave up. “Well, I guess I’ll be going.”

  “I had a great time,” Ella told him.

  Great? Really? It was just dinner. Oh, but dinner with fancy tablecloths. That made all the difference.

  “We’ll do it again,” Axel said.

  Not if Jake had anything to say about it. Oh, yeah. He didn’t.

  Axel went back down the walkway and Ella marched past Jake into the house. He called Tiny and followed her in, wearing a smirk.

  But once inside she wiped the smirk off his face. “That was mature,” she said as she slipped off her heels.

  He played dumb. “What?”

  “You know what. You’re such a hypocrite.”

  “What!”

  “You can have other women but I can’t have other men? Is that it?”

  “I never—” he began.

  She cut him off. “You always. I’m going to see Axel again and I’m going to have a life. And I’m going to get a Christmas tree and get this place sold!”

  He wasn’t sure what a Christmas tree had to do with anything, but he got the general gist of that tirade. He was out of the picture. And once they sold the house, he’d be out of her life for good. Now would be the time to say, “Baby, we’ve been so wrong. Let’s sit down and talk, really talk. Let’s lose the suspicion and the anger. Let me make love to you.” Instead, he just stood there in the hallway, glaring as she went upstairs.

  His life was like a bad country song. All he needed now was for his truck to break down and his dog to die.

  As if reading his thoughts, Tiny whimpered.

  “I didn’t mean it, boy,” he said. “Come on. We’ll go out to the kitchen and get us some chili.”

  * * *

  Ella threw her shoes in the closet and fell on her bed. She could hardly wait to sell this house and get away from Jake O’Brien. Him and his immature behavior and his tacky country songs. He was probably downstairs right now, messing up the kitchen, just like he was trying to mess up her life.

  Well, she wasn’t going to let him. And she was going to learn to appreciate jazz if it killed her.

  9

  Ella was getting ready to go to the shop on Friday when Axel called. “I just wanted to give you a heads-up that I’ve got a couple arriving in town who are looking for a second home. I think they might like your place.”

  “That’s great,” Ella said. If these people were looking for a second home they obviously had money. They might even be willing to pay the asking price.

  “We’ll be over this afternoon, so if there’s anything you need to do…”

  Like have Jake pick up his underwear and clean the sink? Very diplomatic. “I’ll make sure the place looks good,” Ella promised.

  As soon as she ended the call, she went searching for Jake. It wasn’t hard to find him. She just had to follow her nose to the kitchen, where he was frying an egg, spattering grease all over the stove. Everywhere he went he was a mess in progress.

  “Axel’s bringing over some people to see the house this afternoon,” she said.

  His only response was a grunt.

  He’d been downright hostile since her dinner out with Axel, which meant it was difficult to make any kind of reasonable request. She made hers, anyway. “So, you will clean up the kitchen, right?”

  “Yeah,” he said, obviously insulted.

  “Thanks,” she said and left the kitchen. She didn’t have time to stand around and exchange rude looks. She had to get to work. But first, she’d run up to the attic and get a few decorations, Christmas the house up a little. Staging was important.

  So was getting to the shop on time. Mims was a stickler for that. Ella picked up her pace, opening the door to the attic and hurrying up the narrow stairs.

  The closed door kept it nippy. She rubbed her arms and did a quick scan of the odds and ends lying around, pieces of their life together. There was the picnic basket Cecily had given them for a wedding present. Off in the corner lay Jake’s old catcher’s mitt. She’d gone to all his softball games back when they were a happy couple. There sat the old trunk they’d gotten at a garage sale. And over in the corner, carefully preserved and bagged, hung her wedding gown. She quickly averted her gaze.

  Jake had put the decorations away last Christmas and the boxes were shoved in a corner every which way. Fortunately, she recognized the one with her candles and the Fitz and Floyd snow globe. Those would be perfect on the mantelpiece. Just the right touch until she could get a tree.

  Maybe she wouldn’t even need a tree. Maybe the couple Axel was bringing by would fall in love with the house and make an offer today.

  Conscious of the ticking clock, Ella took the box and hurried down from the attic.

  After arranging her decorations, she ditched the box in the coat closet and left for the shop. Hopefully, before the day was over, the house would be sold. History. Like her and Jake.

  * * *

  Jake had just finished some song charts and was recharging with a cup of coffee when he saw the silver Lexus pull up in front of the house. The wuss was here. And he wouldn’t be happy to see Jake. Well, Jake wasn’t going to be happy to see him, either, so that made them even. Anyway, this was still half his house and he had every right to stay.

  He stood by the window, watching as Axel and his clients got out of the car and started up the front walk. The couple was older, maybe in their fifties. He looked like a model for The North Face. She was wearing a coat trimmed with some kind of fake fur over slacks and heels. Her hair was as phony as the trim on her coat, a youthful blond chin-length and carefully coiffed. Everything about her said, “My man has money.” Yuck. This was going to buy his house?

  Axel spotted him at the front window and his smile stiffened.

  Yeah, I know. You were hoping I’d be gone. You’ve been hoping that ever since you started drooling over Ella. Jake saluted him with his coffee mug and chuckled to see the smile slip into a frown. But then Axel put his salesman’s game face back on and began talking to the two fish he had on the line as he ushered them up the steps and onto the porch.

  Suddenly, Jake heard a noise that didn’t bode well for Axel and the fish. It was a great thundering woosh that sounded like Santa and a million reindeer were using the metal roof as a slip ’n’ slide. Uh-oh. Ella had been in the attic getting Christmas decorations before she left for work. She must’ve left the door open—not a good thing because that meant a lot of heat had been rising up to the attic for a long time, enough to melt the snow accumulation and send it sledding down onto�
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  He heard the scream, saw the avalanche and then watched in horror as one of the icicles he’d forgotten to knock down hurled itself like a sword at the feet of three snow people, making them all jump back. The woman’s shriek was enough to break off all the other icicles that hadn’t already been dislodged.

  Jake ran to the door and pulled it open. “You guys okay?”

  “What do you think?” Axel said through gritted teeth.

  The couple was in shock. They both looked like the abominable snowman’s cousins. The woman blinked out at Jake from behind a snowy mask. She whimpered as she brushed at her face and then raked the cap of snow from her hair, leaving it plastered to her head. “Oooh, my hair.” That wasn’t her only problem. Her eye makeup had run and she looked like Barnabas Collins in drag. Her husband, who was sweeping the snow from his shoulders, appeared ready to murder someone.

  So did Axel. Jake was sorry his clients got dumped on, but Axel—that was another story. It was somehow satisfying to see the guy drenched in snow from the top of his smarmy head to the tip of his expensive shoes. Jake almost laughed, but the realization that Ella was not going to be happy about this kept him sober.

  “What was that?” the man demanded.

  “This happens sometimes with metal roofs,” Axel said smoothly. “Nothing to be concerned about.”

  “Nothing to be concerned about?” the man echoed, his voice rising. “One step closer and that icicle would have gone through Annabel’s skull.”

  There probably wasn’t much in there, anyway, Jake thought. “Come on in and get dry,” he offered.

  The woman took a step back. “I don’t think so.”

  Now Tiny was at the door and let out a bark of greeting.

  “Eeep!” cried Annabel.

  Another icicle stabbed the front porch. “Eeee!” Annabel turned and fled down the steps.

  “Show us a condo,” her husband said, and hurried down the walk after her.

  “You blew that sale,” Axel told Jake, glaring at him.

  “Hey, I’m not responsible for snow sliding off my roof,” Jake snapped. “That was an act of God.”

  Axel looked as if he’d like to say more, but instead, he brushed the last of the snow from his expensive overcoat and stalked off down the walk after his clients.

  “Good riddance,” Jake said, and slammed the door after him.

  Ella wasn’t going to think that.

  Sure enough. An hour later Jake’s cell phone rang. Figuring the best defense was a good offense, he didn’t give her a chance to say anything. “El, that was not my fault.”

  “You didn’t knock down the icicles and I asked you to. How is that not your fault?”

  “Okay, that part is,” he admitted. “But not the snow thing. I went up and checked. You left the door to the attic open. All that warm air drifting up there all day warmed the roof and loosened the snow.”

  That shut her up. But a moment later he could hear sniffling. “Oh, come on, El, don’t cry. Someone will buy the house.”

  “Not if we try to kill them with snow and icicles.”

  “Look, the icicles are all gone and I shoveled the snow off the porch. So next time…”

  “I don’t even know if there’ll be a next time. Axel was really mad.”

  “Well, Axel can go—” Jake bit off the rest of the sentence, realizing it would hardly be productive.

  “Oh, why am I talking to you, anyway?” she said miserably.

  Then she hung up before he could say, “Because I’m the one you come to when you’re upset, because you still love me.” He looked down at Tiny, who was watching him, head cocked to one side. “Let me tell you, being a guy is a lot easier for you than it is for me.” Love shouldn’t be this hard.

  Now, there was a good title for a song. Too bad it was also the story of his life.

  * * *

  Cass closed the bakery an hour early on Friday so she and Dani could pop over to Lupine Floral and pick out flowers for the wedding. It was December 1, and the town was buzzing with shoppers.

  About this time the following day the town square would be packed with visitors, watching the tree-lighting ceremony. This included a carol sing, an appearance by Santa and an invocation from one of the local pastors. Then there’d be a countdown and the hundreds of lights on the giant fir in town square would burst into glorious colored bloom and the handbell choir would play “Joy to the World.” The week before Christmas there’d be something going on every night, including performances by choirs and the local folk-dancing club. In addition to all that, bonfires would blaze by the skating rink every evening so families could enjoy roasting hot dogs and toasting marshmallows. Icicle Falls knew how to celebrate the holidays.

  And bring on the visitors. They’d had a rough winter the year before with little snow for the skiers and winter sports enthusiasts, but they’d learned from that. The town was now holiday party central. Besides Christmas, they’d found a festival to celebrate something every season. And more were in the works. Their little town was quickly becoming a destination.

  Even Lupine Floral had come up with a way to lure in holiday visitors, offering special Christmas corsages featuring red carnations and small candy canes that women could pin on their winter coats and hats. Cass counted half a dozen as she and Dani hurried through the Friday afternoon crowd toward the florist’s.

  The shop window was a winter work of art, a study in white and silver, with a river of silver ribbon running among arrangements of white roses and carnations in silver mercury-glass vases. A small forest of baby’s breath stood tall in milk-glass vases linked by faux-pearl swags. A table-size flocked tree sported silver balls and shiny blue ribbons.

  “I could go for that,” Dani said as they walked in.

  “Which part of it?” Cass asked.

  “All of it.”

  Cass could see the money flying away. She nodded gamely and followed her daughter inside, wishing she’d saved more.

  Even if Dani had given her a year, she wouldn’t have been able to sock away the kind of money she suspected they’d end up spending on this “small” wedding. She should have started saving long ago. Cheer up. By the time you’ve paid for this Amber will be engaged and you can start all over. Thank God one of her children was a boy.

  Kevin Carlyle, looking spiffy in designer jeans and a gray cashmere sweater, was just saying goodbye to a customer when they walked in. “Here’s the bride-to-be!” he greeted them. “Congratulations, Dani. We’re so happy for you.”

  “Thank you,” Dani said.

  “There’s nothing more beautiful than a Christmas wedding,” Kevin went on.

  Or more expensive, Cass thought. If Dani and Mike had been getting married in the summer they could have culled flowers from all their friends’ gardens and saved a bundle. But that would have been tacky, she scolded herself. It was important to support local businesses, and heaven knew Heinrich and Kevin had bought enough goodies from her bakery.

  Heinrich emerged from the back of the shop where he’d probably been working on a floral arrangement. Kevin was barely into his forties, but Heinrich was pushing fifty. His brown hair had begun to thin and he was edging toward fashion’s dark side—a Donald Trump comb-over. He, too, wore expensive jeans topped with a black mock-turtleneck sweater.

  “Ladies,” he greeted them, “this is going to be so much fun. I haven’t done a December wedding in ages.”

  “I hope you can do one on a budget,” Cass said, earning her a dirty look from her daughter.

  Heinrich laughed. “We’ll make it work. Come sit down and let’s talk.” He took a slim laptop from under the counter and led the way to a white ironwork table and chairs in the corner. Like everything else in the shop, this little meeting spot was a delight for the eyes, the table covered with a white cloth and, on top of that, a square glass vase bearing a holiday floral arrangement.

  Kevin brought them bottles of Perrier, and Heinrich opened the laptop. “What’s your color
scheme, darling?”

  “Gosh, I thought I wanted red and white,” Dani said. “My gown’s white with white faux-fur trim.”

  “Your gown?” Dani had already picked out a gown?

  “I was going to show it to you,” Dani said to Cass. “I saw it last month when I was visiting Daddy in Seattle.”

  “You went to a bridal shop with your father?” The green-eyed monster landed on Cass’s shoulder, and began breathing down her neck, souring the moment.

  “No,” Dani said. “I just…went.”

  “All by yourself?” Where was the fun in that?

  “Babette and I were out shopping.”

  Babette! The child bride, Mason’s trophy wife? Her daughter had been looking at wedding gowns with Babette?

  “We happened to walk by the shop and I saw it,” Dani said. “I didn’t buy it or anything, Mom. I was waiting for you to come with me.”

  But she’d already tried it on. Babette had seen it. So what, she told herself. So what, so what, so what!

  It didn’t help. She could feel tears pricking her eyes.

  Heinrich cleared his throat. “Well, red and white are perfect for Christmas.”

  Cass jerked her petty self out of that Seattle bridal shop and back to the present. “I think Dani might be leaning toward something else now.”

  She must have succeeded in straining the hurt from her voice because the pink in Dani’s cheeks faded and her shoulders relaxed. “I really like the white and silver combination you have in the window.”

  “That would go with almost anything,” Heinrich said. “What color are your bridesmaids’ dresses?”

  “We haven’t decided yet,” Dani said, “but Ella has some great dresses at Gilded Lily’s. There was a really pretty gray one that my bridesmaids liked.”

  “That would go well with silver and white. And we could accent with red, maybe in your bouquet.” Heinrich smiled at Cass. “And your mother could design an amazing cake using silver and white, maybe a little red.”

  Good old Heinrich, trying to use flattery as a salve for wounded motherly pride.

  “I like that,” said Dani.

  “And where are we holding the wedding and reception?” he asked.