Undeniable Heart (Legend of the King's Guard Book 4)

by Kara Griffin

  Brodin wasn’t being adoring or romantic. He used his aggressiveness to frighten her. She contritely admitted his plan worked. His brashness was somewhat punishment, she supposed.

  “Why did you kiss me?”

  Dallis stepped back. His voice hardened yet had a lyrical sound to it akin to a soft touch. He didn’t sound displeased which lightened her. “Whenever my mother upset my da, she would kiss him until he forgave her.”

  His gaze pierced her. “I am not so easily won over as your da.”

  “Why did you kiss me back?” Dallis couldn’t look at him when she asked. His silent glare caused a shiver to trembler her insides. “If you meant to frighten me … You don’t have to answer—”

  “Because your kiss wasn’t praiseworthy. I wanted you to ken what a proper kiss—”

  “Please, we shall just agree that the kiss was of no consequence.”

  “The hell it wasn’t.”

  She took a breath and decided not to argue with him. It was best to keep him amiable. “I wanted to explain … my reasons for …”

  Brodin sighed and his chest tightened the thin fabric of his tunic. “You deceived me.”

  “Aye and I’m sorry for it. I wish I didn’t have to …”

  He fisted his hands at his side and his usually bright eyes darkened. “I almost killed the last lass who deceived me. Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you?”

  As much as she tried to keep calm, a bristle of panic stiffened her back. Dallis took a step back to put a wee bit of space between them. And if she needed to run, it would be easier to turn and flee if he wasn’t standing so close. With his long legs, he’d likely catch up to her right quick. The thought of fleeing him was pitiful. She thought his question absurd. “Do you honestly expect me to answer that?”

  “Aye.” He folded his arms over his stomach in wait. “Give me one sound reason why I shouldn’t.”

  She ruminated for at least a minute. The silence betwixt them discomforting her to the point that sweat formed on her forehead. “If you wish to slay me, then do so. I couldn’t stop you and have not the strength to defend myself. At least I saved my gran and Flora’s bairn. Besides, I probably would’ve died at Alnwick for I’d rather die than let Sir Percy touch me.”

  He said nothing to her rushed retort. Dallis was just getting warmed up though. Now with a wee bit of resolve and fire in her veins, she took a step forward. “I had no choice but to bring you to Alnwick. It was the only way to ensure Sir Percy would free us. But then he didn’t keep his word. I didn’t expect him to be dishonest in his agreement. Then he harmed you and it hurt deeply to know I was the cause.”

  His jaw flexed and his bright blue eyes blazed. She wasn’t doing a good job at gaining his forgiveness. “I should have told you what he planned so you could protect yourself, but I only thought of my gran and that we would finally be given our leave.”

  “Aye, you should have. If you had told me, Gilroy would still be alive.” His voice hardened.

  “Mayhap, but I deem Sir Percy would’ve killed the lad regardless. Gilroy told me to get you to come by any means, which I did. I doubted he would still live by the time we arrived.”

  Brodin grabbed her arms and held her firmly. “You risked my life, Gilroy’s, and my comrades … all to save your own neck. You’re a devious woman.”

  Dallis drew a startled breath at his abrupt attack. “No, no that is not true. If I was devious, it’s because I had no other recourse. Don’t you see, I had no choice. I did it to save Gran, not myself. ”

  “You don’t care for your own life?” His brows drew together and his frown most frightening.

  Tears sprang to her eyes and her chest hurt at the admission. “No, I care not, especially if my life causes others harm such as my gran. Besides, what have I? Most of my family is gone. I haven’t seen my da in many a year. My mother perished from sickness and my brothers left to serve the king. All I have is gran and if she’s harmed, I have nothing.”

  He released her and Dallis turned away.

  “You have no betrothed?”

  His question came in a lenient voice. She turned back to him and sighed. “No. I was quite young when my da went off to defend Scotland. There was no time for my uncles or brothers to see to the matter. Gran is aged if you haven’t noticed. She’ll be gone soon and … I shall always be alone.” Emotion clogged her throat. Sure she’d return to her clan, but most of her family would be absent. Her lonely future waved before her like the pennon of Scotland and brought forth more tears.

  “You’re not alone now, Dallis.”

  “I may as well be.” She turned away again before he might spy her weeping like a bairn. Hastily, she wiped at her eyes. His tone suggested she had his support and that he might be sympathetic, but she wouldn’t be hopeful. “Before you go off, I wanted to impart that Gilroy told me to relate he was grateful that he followed you. He said the guard was honorable.”

  “The lad always caused trouble.”

  “He wanted to repay your kindness. There are sacks of coin in the ossuary in one of the tombs in the back. He wanted the guard to have the coins and said it was recompense for the years you looked after him.”

  Brodin firmed his lips and bowed his head. “We placed him in the ossuary and planned to bury him near the stream, next to Finley, Annag’s husband.”

  “We shall attend and give him a proper send off. I thought him a courageous lad.” She lowered her gaze too, unable to meet his scrutiny and uncertain what to say.

  Brodin lifted her chin with his warm fingers. “What do you plan to do with your maid’s bairn?”

  “I am unsure. He needs someone to care for him. I’m not ready to be a mother. Mayhap Flora’s family will take him in … although her parents were aged when she came to me as a maidservant.”

  Brodin started off toward the cave and kept his eyes ahead when he said, “We shall send for the Buchanans to come and escort you home. James is apparently searching for them, but we’ll ask the friar at the abbey if he can send a messenger.”

  She took two steps but stopped at his declaration. More than anything, she wanted to return home, but she hadn’t gained his clemency. Until she gained it, she had to find a way to stay at the caves.

  “Are you coming inside?” he asked.

  “Do you forgive me for taking you to Alnwick? I must have your mercy.”

  “You seek my mercy when it is too late. Perhaps one day I shall give you what you wish.”

  She sighed and shook her head. “I should like a few minutes alone.”

  “It might take time to forgive you, lass, but I certainly won’t ever trust you again.” With that, he reached the vines and disappeared beyond them.

  Dallis stood in the clearing rigid and forlorn. He’d never exonerate her for the misdeed, and he would never trust her. The man was too stubborn and obstinate and well … too darn appealing for his own good. There’d be no reasoning with a man with his standoffish nature. She wondered what caused him to be so distrusting and why he’d wanted to kill the woman he’d mentioned. Surely he understood why she’d betrayed him.

  Her concern for others should’ve warranted his understanding. Trust was another matter altogether. She’d have to win that on her own. Somehow she would get him to trust her and perhaps care for her just a wee bit.

  And yet, she suspected her efforts wouldn’t harvest a single grain of wheat. However challenging, Dallis wasn’t one to give up so easily.

  Chapter Nine

  Dawn was the best time of day. Dallis liked the quiet and solitude of the morning before everyone awoke afore the sun became too warm before she had to own to the idea that gaining Brodin’s forgiveness and trust would never be.

  She traipsed along a footpath that led to a great meadow. Her trek took her afar from the caves, but she was certain she’d find her way back. Being alone in the beautiful pasture, she spread her arms wide and tilted her face to the sun. The gloriousness of the day beckoned. At least, she would enjoy a few hours
of peace before she’d rejoin those in the cave.

  Taking her frock’s hem in hand, she flopped down and sat in the high grasses of the field. Nearby a fat rabbit hopped along trying to decide which patch of grass would taste best. The animal nibbled and ignored her presence. In awe of nature, Dallis surveyed the land and glimpsed a timid doe with her new fawn a few hundred feet from her. They too ate from the grasses but were more skittish at her presence than the rabbit.

  This day Brodin and his comrades would at last lay Gilroy to rest. Dallis saddened at the thought she’d only spent little time with the lad. She couldn’t shake the culpability at his death. Even though the ladies in the cave told her it wasn’t her fault, she held herself responsible. The least she could do was attend his burial and place a handful of flowers atop his grave.

  That was what brought her outside at such an early hour. She perused the land again and spotted a patch of blue down the slope in the distance. Seeing the bright blue blooms reminded her of home. As a wee lass, she’d roll in the flowers and giggle and oft come home covered in dirt and petals. How her momma would sneeze from the dust that usually covered her.

  She stood at the top of the small hill and a thought occurred to her—she was free. Somehow she escaped Percy, although others did not. But she was finally free.

  Dallis fell to her knees and rolled down the hill, over the bluebells. She laughed and continued to turn over until she came to a stop at the bottom of the slope. In the last six years, she hadn’t felt contentment. This day, her heart and soul lightened. She gazed into the sky and thought of Gilroy and what he’d said to her before she’d left on the mission. He didn’t want anyone to be saddened by his death and made her promise to let the guard know what happened to him. The sun shone on her as she lay in the meadow. Gilroy was smiling down upon her.

  She rolled to her side and spotted a pair of boots a few feet from her. Startled, she got to her knees and gazed upward and found Brodin standing close. “Oh, you gave me a fright.”

  “What in God’s name are you doing, lass?”

  Dallis hastily brushed the grass and petals from her skirts. “I was …” She tried to reason a plausible excuse for behaving so silly, but nothing came to mind. “I was rolling in the bluebells.”

  He threw his hand down and she took it. Dallis couldn’t discern what he thought of her childish act, for his face was devoid of any reaction. Lord, he was obstinate and downright sullen. How she wished to see his smile, certain his face would be even more handsome. How she wished she would be the one to bring about his joy.

  “We must return.” He yanked her hand and tried to get her to follow, but she released his hand even though she’d rejoiced at his touch.

  “Wait.” Dallis turned back to the bluebells and grabbed hold of bunches until she picked enough for Gilroy’s grave. She turned to Brodin and thrust them at his chest. “Hold these.”

  Brodin looked laughable holding the flowers. His scowl attested he was affronted, but his demeanor was priceless and she wanted to tease him. Hopefully, Gilroy watched from Heaven and got a laugh from it. Dallis pulled the ribbon she’d tied in her hair earlier that morn and her locks cascaded over her shoulders.

  “We haven’t time for this nonsense, lass.”

  She smiled and bid him to hold the flowers outward. “Hold still so I can tie the bunch.” Dallis quickly tied the mass of flowers with the ribbon and took them from him. She brushed past and walked toward the caves.

  All waited near the stream. Dallis moved to the front of the procession and peered into the dark hole. At that moment, she realized she could’ve died at Alnwick as well. She, her gran, Brodin, the guardsmen, James and his followers all could have died. God surely watched over them.

  Poor Gilroy. Tears gathered in her eyes. He was too young to be taken from them. Friar Hemm joined them and stood at the top of the grave and spoke prayers. When he finished, the men lowered the wooden box and covered it.

  Dallis waited until they finished and stepped forward. She placed the flowers on the mound of dirt and bowed her head. Her gran set a comforting hand on her shoulder. As she peered around at those who stood around the grave, her shoulders slumped at their sadness.

  “Gilroy wouldn’t want us to mourn him. He would want us to celebrate his life.” Annag smiled and nodded. “That is why I have made all his favorite foodstuffs. Come, we shall eat in his honor and ponder joyful thoughts of the lad. Friar, you’re welcome to join us for we have plenty of food.”

  The friar bowed. “I would like nothing better, but I must return to the abbey. Until we meet again my friends.”

  He left the group and all the others followed Annag inside except Dallis. She knelt and said a few more prayers. When she finished, she rose and saw Brodin watching her from the cave entrance. He didn’t move until she entered. His concern pleased her, although she was uncertain if that’s why he watched her.

  The meal Annag served smelled heavenly and tasted delicious. She’d made rabbit stew, sweet bread, and jellied fruit. No one spoke during the meal, making for an uncomfortable evening. She wanted to broach the subject of Gilroy’s requests but didn’t want to dishearten them further.

  One by one, the men left the table without a word. Brodin was the last to leave.

  “Where have they gone off to?” she asked, perplexed that they’d gone out to the darkness. Night had fallen and by the look of it, no moon provided light. Dallis never went out at night when she was home for it was too fearsome. She’d always been told monsters or the devil’s kin lurked in the dark.

  Kerrigan pushed her trencher forward. “They went to train and often do so in the night. It’s what they’ve always done.”

  “Are you not concerned for them?”

  “Oh no. It’s what they do. I think it was a kind gesture to place flowers on Gilroy’s grave. I fear we were quite shocked by his death and didn’t consider it …”

  Dallis pulled a tartan over her shoulders, becoming chilled. “You all knew him much longer than I did. I thought him a brave and honorable lad.”

  Makenna nodded. “He certainly was. He followed our men when they’d been exiled by the king and he learned much from them. The lad aided us time and again without complaint.”

  Brodin returned and rummaged through a trunk that sat with others next to the wall. He didn’t pay attention to them.

  Makenna continued, “It was kind of our king to rescue him from his mistress. She abused the lad and almost killed him. When Robert the Bruce found him, he took him on as his squire. But then when he left the guard abandoned on the isle, he left Gilroy with them.”

  “For their safety,” Kerrigan added.

  “Aye and Gilroy told me long ago that he planned revenge against his mistress. That he was saving coins and would one day leave and take his retribution. I’m afraid now with his death, he’ll never receive justice he sought.”

  Brodin stood and called out, “I will seek justice for him. That I promise.” Without another word, he left the cave.

  Dallis was stunned by Brodin’s vow. She dismissed him and returned her attention to the ladies who watched the vines as she did.

  “If anyone can find Gilroy’s mistress, he can. Brodin detested me when we first met. I never thought he’d befriend me, yet he did.”

  Dallis frowned at Kerrigan. “Why did he detest you?”

  “Our clans were enemies. The Campbells and Grants had a longstanding feud. It took a long time for him to come around and understand that I meant him no harm. Imagine … me harming him. It is quite laughable. But he came around eventually and now I consider him endeared as a brother.”

  “You are all so close.” Dallis saddened that she’d never had such friendships. It appeared they’d gone through considerable difficulties together and grew to respect and admire each other.

  “I tell you this because you must be patient with Brodin.” Kerrigan took her hand and squeezed it. “But once Brodin gives you his trust and adoration, he’ll never take it b
ack.”

  Her heart hurt hearing those words. Gaining his admiration would take a long time if ever. She’d probably be well long-in-the-tooth by then. “I shall try to be patient. There’s something about him that I …” She couldn’t confess her feelings for him and quickly changed the discussion. “How did you meet Graeme?”

  Kerrigan sat forward and clapped her hands. “Oh, it’s quite a tale and a wee bit complicated but … I met him in the woods.”

  Makenna laughed heartily. “She fails to mention … at night, during the battle at Methven.”

  Kerrigan scoffed. “I was following him. How was I supposed to know he was headed to battle? He got me away from the fighting and took me to Sweetheart Abbey. I loved him from the moment he frightened me to death in the woods.”

  The ladies shared a laugh. Dallis revered the women. “And you, Makenna? How did you meet Liam?”

  She pretended to pick a piece of lint from her overdress. “My home was attacked by the English and I … Well, I sought the king’s guard in hopes they would train me.”

  “Train you to do what?” Dallis stilled and waited uneasily for her response, but Makenna’s gaze seemed far off. “Makenna?”

  “Train me to kill my enemy.”

  “Did you?”

  Makenna shook her head slightly. “Nay, but Liam did. I was so angry with him for taking my revenge. Yet in the end, he saved me and I saved him. He gave me Darcy, his daughter, who I love more than life itself. And of course Ingrid, my sweet bairn. I am looking forward to giving Liam a son one day soon.” She patted the bulge of her belly.

  Dallis glanced at Lillia who had been quiet. “And you, Lillia? Have you as remarkable a tale?” The woman was beyond beautiful with her long blonde hair and light eyes. She was as fair and bright as Dallis was dark and dismal. She envied the woman’s loveliness.