Mistletoe & Kisses
Page 18
There was a lightness in my chest. Turning, I found both Colin and Greg standing behind me, talking to Marissa and Liam. Colin had his arm wrapped around Marissa and it was obvious they had no idea yet. When we turned around to say our good-byes, both Collins and Greg’s gazed narrowed in on my hand covering Danielle’s stomach.
“Holy shit. Congratulations!” Colin held out a hand and pulled me into a man-hug when I took it.
Greg’s reaction was similar. “Wow! That’s freaking amazing. I’m so happy for the two of you. Now what are you still standing around for? Get the hell out of here and get caught up.”
“Thanks, man.”
Taking Danielle’s hand in mine, I led her out to the car, wanting to get home as fast as possible so that I could change and we could talk. Now that the shock was starting to wear off, I was starting to wonder how long she’d known, and why she hadn’t told me before. Once we got back to the house, I changed and sat down in the living room.
“Dani, can we talk?”
Her eyes were full of apprehension as she walked into the living room. “Did you want a beer?”
“No, Dani, I want you to come sit down and talk to me.”
With a sigh, she sat down on the couch and waited for me to begin.
“How long?” I asked.
Her eyes dropped to the ground. “Before you left,” she said, never taking her eyes from the floor.
She’d known before we left. Why would she keep something like that from me? I was trying to find reasons to understand, but I didn’t, and the more I thought about it the more frustrated I got.
“Remember how I said I wasn’t angry, now I have to tell you I am a little bit angry. I just don’t understand how you didn’t tell me before we deployed. Why would you keep something like this from me?”
She whispered something quietly.
“What?” I asked, a small bite to my voice.
“You said you wanted to wait.” And there behind her words, I could hear the anguish in her voice.
I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her face to mine. The tear tracks down her cheeks wiped out any anger I’d been feeling. I pulled her into my arms.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I never meant that I wouldn’t want kids if it happened. I just figured if we were going to actively try we could wait a few years. This is such a wonderful blessing, and I’m sorry I made you doubt yourself.”
There I sat, holding the woman of my dreams as she pushed out the last of her tears and slowly calmed down. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Shh, you don’t have to be sorry. We can do everything together now that I’m home.”
“I love you,” she whispered against my chest.
“I love you, too. Now tell me everything about our little miracle,” I said cupping her stomach.
Danielle told me everything, from her first doctor’s appointment, to her upcoming ultrasound. Even though I was curious, she didn’t want to learn the sex of the baby. There was no way I was going against her, and the surprise was just as appealing. She already had plans on how to do the nursery to keep it as neutral as possible.
***
Over the next few months we spent all of our free time getting the nursery ready for the baby. Thanksgiving had come and gone and we were only a few days before Christmas—right around Danielle’s due date. If I’d thought she looked beautiful before, there was no way to describe my feelings as I watch her body grow with our child. It was much more than simply beautiful. It was almost untouchable.
As we prepared the house for everyone to join us for Christmas, Danielle was lying down since she wasn’t feeling well. She’d been plagued by Braxton Hicks. If you ask me, her lack of sleep wasn’t helping. To keep her relaxed the least I could do was get the kitchen cleaned up for our guests.
“Tanner?” There was a slight touch of worry in her voice. She’d sounded like that the all week. Not wanting to ignore her, I made my way down to bedroom where Danielle was standing up changing her pants and I noticed that the bed was soaking wet. It took a moment or two to register.
“Oh crap. Crap. Crap. Crap!”
“Relax, we’ve got everything already packed. All we have to do is put my bag into the car and we can leave.”
Forget butterflies, every one of my body parts was shaking.
“Are you all right? Do you want me to help you to your car?”
She turned to me. “Tanner, take a deep breath. I’m having a baby, not flying the space shuttle. Now grab my bag so we can go.”
We got loaded into the car and I sped off toward the hospital. I knew some of the contractions were getting to her, but she’d never admit that she was in pain.
When we arrived at the hospital Danielle’s breathing had gotten even heavier. The nurse took her back to an exam room while I filled out the paperwork, joining them as soon as I was done. By the time I stepped into the room, she was already in a hospital gown and lying in bed with a monitor attached to her belly.
“Good news or bad news?” the nurse asked once she finished checking Danielle.
Danielle cringed.
“Bad news, you’re too dilated for an epidural.”
Her eyes widened, but she pulled herself back under control quickly.
“The good news, this labor won’t be long at all. My guess is that you will probably be fully dilated and ready to push in about hour later.
About an hour and fifteen minutes later, I was ready to hurt someone for my beautiful girl. Watching her fight through every contraction was slowly killing me, because there was nothing I could do the fix it. She was being such a trooper. Five minutes later, the nurse walked back in to check Danielle again.
“Good news, you’re ready to push. Let me get Dr. Reese and we’ll get started.”
“About time,” Danielle growled and then clenched her teeth as she fought off another one. She was trying to use all the techniques we learned I child birth class, but none of them were really working.
The nurse came back in the followed by the doctor.
“Hello, Mrs. Marano. How about we get this baby out?”
“I like the sound of that.”
“All right, Danielle, on your next contraction you’re going to push as hard as you can. The harder the push the less of them you’ll have to do in the long run.”
Dr. Reese kept her eye on the monitor. “Get ready, and . . . push.”
Danielle grunted and groaned as she pushed with all of her strength. She continued to push through each contraction over the next half an hour. Panting, I could see the pain etched on her face as she tried to pull in more air.
“Your can do it, sweetheart.” I brought the damp cloth to her forehead.
“I think one more push should do it. Make it a good one.”
Danielle did exactly as she asked and, suddenly, a small cry filled the room. It was a sound that stole my heart, and I knew I would never be the same.
“Mr. And Mrs. Marano, say hello to your son.”
“Son?”
The doctor set the baby on Danielle’s chest for a moment before the nurse had to take him away to test all of his vitals. A few minutes later, Danielle was in a seated position and the baby was being brought back to her all cleaned up. As gently as she could, the nurse placed the baby in Danielle’s arms.
She looked up, eyes filled with tears. “What should we name him?”
“I know the perfect name. Let’s call him Nate.”
She looked down at our sleeping son. “You’re right, that is the perfect name.”
“Hello, Nate Tanner Marano. How about you say hello to your daddy.”
Danielle placed Nate into my arms and it was like holding a miracle in my hands. There were no words to describe what I was feeling.
“Hi, my big boy. Your mommy and daddy love you with all of their hearts. Welcome to our family.”
Epilogue
Danielle
AFTER SPENDING TWO whole days in the hospital, I was done
. Today was Christmas Day and all I wanted to do was spend it at home with my family. Nate was sound asleep in my arms after eating, when Tanner walked in with the car seat, having just spent the last half an hour filling out the discharge paperwork.
“You’re free.”
I placed Nate in the car seat and buckled him in. Once the nurse took us down to the car, we were off. My excitement at going home, combined with the fact that with was Christmas, was making everything amazing.
We pulled up in front of the house and everyone came out to help. Carrying Nate in, I sat in the recliner that they had set up for me. Everyone settled themselves in, while Liam sat on the floor to hand out presents.
Watching my family interact with one another, I felt the love throughout the room. It was one of those moments when you realize how lucky you are. There may have been times that challenged me, to the point that I worried about how I would survive from the pain, but I was stronger than that. I’d fought my way through and found my light and my reason for living. Tanner was my everything. And now Nate was here and I couldn’t feel more blessed.
It felt as if I’d come full circle. Beginning with a letter and ending with the birth of my baby boy. Finally, through all of the heartache and the hurt, the love and happiness, I felt I had finally come home.
Acknowledgements
There are so many people to thank it’s hard to know where to start. Let’s start with the readers who wanted more of Dani and Tanner, I can’t thank you enough for giving Letters Home a try. It’s a story that holds a special place in my heart. And while I know there were parts that broke your hearts, I’m glad that you stayed and fell in love with Dani and Tanner like I did.
Ryn, thanks for putting up with my crazy self and once and again helping to put Dani and Tanner in their best light.
Lisa, Coleen, and Tracy, thank you for keeping me on track and helping me dig myself out when I get stuck.
Brandi, you’re a great friend and your advice and ideas have been invaluable. You taking the time to read Coming Home means the world to me. Thank you.
Miranda, ever book is a new adventure for us and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Rebecca’s Readers, thank you so much for all that you guys do for me. I know how much time you guys spend helping me to get my name out there and I there aren’t enough words for how much I appreciate each and every one of you.
The final thank you goes to my family. They put up with me when I’m going on three hours sleep because I have a deadline. Thank you for encouraging me to chase my dreams. You three are my world and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
To keep updated on my books and new releases, you can find me these places…
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Christmas Wish
A Holiday Novella
Danielle Jamie
Disclaimer:
I don’t own any of the name brands i.e. Nike, Victoria Secret, etc. that might appear in the story.
Edited By: Kayla Robichaux AKA Kayla the Bibliophile
Chapter One
Callie
LIFE HAS BEEN nothing but a big fat joke, with me seeming to be the butt of it. I figured if I keep laughing along with it, maybe one day the rolls would reverse. But sadly, that isn’t the case, because I guess the universe hates me or something. There’s no other explanation for it. Today, I was just hit with the mother load of all jokes, and man is it a doozy.
I’ve been dating Jase for two years on and off. We fight like cats and dogs, but every time we break up, it isn’t two weeks before he’s back, begging for me to take his sorry ass back, and every damn time, I do. Well, the big kicker of this whole merry-go-round is that five months ago, I found out I was pregnant.
Sitting in my bathroom that day, staring at a pregnancy test and praying to every damn god known to man to let it be negative was the most nerve-wracking day of my life. As the two lines appeared, my worst fears became a reality. We were so not stable enough for each other, let alone a kid. I contemplated abortion. I even went as far as going to the clinic, but chickened out. Seeing the little blob on the monitor and knowing it was inside me and was a piece of me was overwhelming.
I was abandoned by my father, and my mother died of cancer when I was just thirteen. My grandparents raised me and were my rocks after losing my mother. They had my aunt to care for still, who was only eighteen at the time, but took me in with open arms when I had nowhere else to go.
When I turned sixteen, my grandfather died of a massive heart attack. It was as if the world had stopped spinning that day. My grandmother took his death hard, and with my cousin gone, attending Sienna University, she was the only one who was around to care for me. I had two more years of school left, and she did the best she could, but slowly, her health began to deteriorate too.
After I graduated, I had to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. With the help of my cousin Ella, we decided to put my grandmother in an assisted living home. I was accepted into the top beauty school in Albany and couldn’t attend college full-time, because it would leave my grandmother home to care for herself. In the end, it was the best decision, because she’s lived there for nearly five years and loves it. She’s made tons of friends and even has a guy who she says is just her friend, but they are always doing weekly dates together. It’s adorable.
She always says no one will ever take the place of my grandfather, which I believe every word she says, because her eyes light up still after all these years when she talks about him. But I also want to see her happy and living her life to the fullest. At 84 years old, she knows she’s never guaranteed tomorrow and always tells me life is too short to be filled with regrets and should-haves. Her motto has always been that we need to chase our dreams and never put off for tomorrow what we could enjoy today.
For years, I’ve ignored her advice. I settled for working in a salon with a bitch for a boss and a boyfriend who would love me one day and break up with me the next, because he’d decide he wasn’t ready to settle down. I stupidly thought I could change him. I wasted two years of my life waiting for Jase to finally grow up and want to settle down with me. I foolishly thought maybe the baby, even though a surprise—a very unexpected and shocking surprise—would get Jase to finally settle down and help us move on to the next step in our relationship.
Sadly, that didn’t work out like I’d planned. At first, Jase was amazing and doting when I told him I was pregnant. This totally shocked the hell out of me and gave me false hope, but his excitement quickly wore off and he was soon back to his out all night partying ways and picking fights with me just so he could find an excuse to yell at me that we were done once again.
That was at the end of my first trimester. Since then, I’ve spent the last two months sitting home alone while he goes out partying and doing only God knows what with his friends as I grow bigger and bigger with every passing moment. I have no desire to find another man; my focus is on my baby, unlike Jase, whose only worry is whose bed he’ll end up in at the end of the night.
Bitch Boss had the audacity while eavesdropping on a conversation my friend Gia and I were having on break one day to suggest I abort my baby. I had already contemplated the idea, only because I was scared I couldn’t raise a baby with Jase and I having such a rocky relationship. The second it all became real and I saw my baby on the monitor, I knew I’d never be able to go through with it. To have someone look down on me and act like my baby would be better off dead than me raising it as a single mom pissed me off beyond words.
I am sorry, but I will not kill my innocent child, just because the sperm donor of a father decided he had other things more important to do than help me decide on baby names and attend doctor appointments.
My mother ra
ised me all on her own, all while being a full-time high school social studies teacher. It wasn’t easy, but I can still to this day say my mother loved me unconditionally and made sure, even when we didn’t have a lot, that I was happy, healthy, and safe. I will do the same for my son or daughter. I miss my mom every day. She was my best friend, and the day I lost her, I lost a piece of myself.
She had a life insurance policy she’d set up when she started teaching and I was five years old. It wasn’t a lot, but enough to cover her funeral and leftover bills from her cancer treatment her insurance hadn’t covered. After all of her expenses, I had twenty-five thousand in my savings account. I used some of it for cosmetology school, because I refused to put myself into debt the second I stepped out of high school. I had the money and wouldn’t rack up student loans when it wasn’t necessary.
When my grandfather passed, his life insurance policy divided between my grandmother and my aunt Ella. My gram kept hers in a savings account we used for monthly expenses, since her social security didn’t pay her much. Now it helps cover her monthly expenses to live at the assisted living home she’s in.
My aunt used some of hers to invest in stocks, and the rest went into savings for her to use after college to start up her own business.
Now, a few years later, my aunt’s money has tripled. She suggested I do the same, but the stock market scares the crap out of me. I feel much more comfortable with my money put safely away in my bank account. Two years ago, Ella used a large sum of her inheritance to purchase a bed and breakfast in the Adirondacks. It’s in a little town called Lake George in upstate New York and it’s right on the water. She’s invited me the last two Christmases to come up, and every time, I declined the invitation, because I’d be spending the holiday with Jase and his family.