Mistletoe & Kisses
Page 39
“Um . . . ” She turns around a few times, embarrassed by her outburst. “I’m so sorry.” She lets out a sigh before she continues, “Today has been a rough day. Actually, it’s been rough a while, but today takes the cake.” Then she bursts into tears. “Just . . . the one . . . just the one night, please.”
Everyone goes back to what they were doing before the outburst, and the lady behind the counter checks in. The bellboy takes pity on her, and just grabs her things to help her to her room. Isabella tips him and thanks him before falling onto the bed and crying. Crying for what she gave up. Crying for what would never be.
Isabella opens her eyes and looks around in the dark room. She realizes she fell asleep fully dressed and on top of the comforter, with her legs dangling off the bed. She quickly changes into her jammies and climbs under the covers, leaving the bathroom light on because she’s a little nervous about being all alone in a strange town.
The room is filled with light when she awakens. Groggy and a little confused, Isabella looks around and realizes she forgot to close the privacy curtains. She chuckles at herself, knowing there’s not going to be any more sleeping for her today. The morning sun begs her to start today off cheery and optimistic. Thinking to herself that she’ll give it a try, she gets out of bed, gathers her things, and heads into the bathroom to shower.
Once dressed, she pastes a smile on her face, and heads to the check-out counter. The same woman is working, so Isabella is a little embarrassed to approach.
“Good morning, Miss Roden. I hope you enjoyed your stay with us.” The woman behind the counter is friendly and makes no mention of her state of mind last night.
“I did. It’s time to get on the road, though. I’ve never done this part either, so I’m not sure what to do,” Isabella says, without looking up from the counter, her nerves obvious in the way she twiddles her hands together.
“Checking out is easy. Let me pull your information up on the computer and we’ll close you out.” The warm smile from the woman relaxes Isabella.
“Thank you.”
When she’s done, she packs up her car and leaves. The little bit of sleep she got did nothing for her aching heart. With each mile that passes, loneliness roots deeper inside of her. The tears stream down her face for so long, that she’s sure she’ll be dehydrated from the water loss.
After five long hours of driving and crying, and with a sore butt, stiff back, and headache, Isabella pulls off Highway eighty. Although there seem to be a lot of choices, she can’t decide if she’d rather eat fast or relax among people. She finally decides on Chester’s Chicken. It’s bustling with activity, and she hopes the chaos will ease her loneliness for the time being.
The families around her inside the restaurant don’t help the ache go away. In fact, the longing deep in her stomach is worse. She’d hoped to have a family of her own by now. Eric promised her the world five years ago, and, though it was wonderful at first, he didn’t deliver on anything.
“Keep your eyes closed, sweetheart. Just a few more steps.” He guided me along as he took me to the surprise he’d been alluding to for a few months now. She had no idea what he was up to, but she was so anxious to finally see it. They’d been married for a year, and she knew he wanted to do something special for her for their anniversary. He begged her not to spend a lot on him, since this surprise would really be for both of them.
When he finally stopped her, he whispered in her ear that he was going to count to three and then she could open her eyes. “One . . . two . . . three.”
She opened her eyes, expecting to be standing near suitcases or a car packed for a trip. Never had she imagined he’d buy her a house. Of course it was ostentatious, sitting at the top of the cul-de-sac, gated from the world, and the largest on the block. Nothing at all like what she wanted. It was beautiful, but not her.
The waitress disrupts her memory by asking if she’d like anything else.
She shakes her head no and, with tears leaking out of her eyes, ones she hadn’t realized were there, she hands over her money.
How would she ever recover from this? On top of it all, home wasn’t really home anymore. The southern California beaches were her home now, her only family. Her mom had died just after she left for college; her dad, a year and a half after she married Eric. Devastated and alone, she’d traveled home for her dad’s funeral. Her aunt had arranged it, knowing how hard it was going to be for her to do alone. Aunt Susan was her favorite person in the whole family, and Isabella had been so close to her cousin while they were young.
Eric made it a point to isolate her from her entire family. He never let her go home to visit, claiming she was too vulnerable alone, and he was always too busy to get away. Humph, he wasn’t as busy as he claimed, at least not with work. He sure as hell found time to wine and dine the masses, hoping to cash in on their fortune. Why didn’t he love her enough? She never asked for anything. Never expected him to give her the things he did. She wanted to work, but he would always say, “Men who make the kind of money I make don’t have wives that work. Join some women’s groups, work with charities, and enjoy being spoiled. You are so lucky to have those opportunities.” He never understood.
The miles stretched on and on. She thought about how things went so wrong. They had to have been good at some point, right? There is no way she’d been miserable all five years. The year they dated before getting married was a whirlwind of trips, gifts, and romance every moment. It was overwhelming for a small-town girl, but matched every little girl’s dream of being treated like a princess. When did the fairytale turn into a nightmare? How did she end up here . . . heading to the place she once called home.
Chapter Two
SHE WAS BARELY paying attention to the time as she drove, and found herself feeling at ease with the idea of seeing her cousin Daniel, Aunt Susan’s son, who had been like a brother to her. The rest of her family had died over the years. Daniel, although he has his mom and her house to take care of, still lives in the house Isabella grew up in. He’s been keeping it up and taking care of it while she was off living the “privileged” life, as he would say.
When her dad died, Isabella just couldn’t bear to handle everything. She never wanted to sell the house. She’d hoped to one day be able to take her own family there for a quiet vacation. Never had she expected to spend four full years away, but then again, she also expected to have a family by now. Sadly, she’s further from that dream than ever.
When the sun starts to set, Isabella realizes she’s been driving a long time. Her stomach is growling again and she’s exhausted. She exits the freeway at the first motel she sees, and vows not to lose it while checking in this time. After a few cleansing breaths while she parks the car, she goes in. The lobby is deserted and she manages to not make a fool of herself this time. Thankfully, she won’t have to spend any more money on hotels, since she’ll be able to drive the rest of the way home tomorrow.
The room at this motel is even worse than the first, but she doesn’t want to waste money. Eric made her get used to the finer things in life, but now she has to readjust to a normal life, without all the luxuries. Despite not needing them, she sure is used to them now. It takes everything in her to get into the old, dingy shower, but she knows the spray of the water will help wash away some of her sadness.
She takes the fastest shower in history, then gets dressed, pulls her hair into a ponytail, and heads out for dinner. Lucky for her, there is a Del Taco right next door to the motel. Not wanting to eat in the dirty hotel room, Isabella dines in the restaurant. It’s vacant and lonely, but then so is everything about her life right now. The loneliness isn’t new, though; she’s been feeling this way for at least a year. She’s positive that is when Pam entered Eric’s life and he exited being present in hers.
As she sat and ate her dinner alone yet again, she remembered the first time she felt he was cheating on her.
Moving the laundry to the laundry room, although Eric hated that she insis
ted on doing the laundry herself, she was making sure the pockets of his jeans were empty before throwing them in the wash. That’s when she found the first hint of things. It was his business card with a name and number on the back. She didn’t think anything of it and just set it aside for him in case it was important. His reaction when she gave it to him when he finally came home two days later is what made her curious.
“Why were you snooping in my pockets?” He snarled at her. She remembered feeling a pit in her stomach, but did her best to shake it off, hoping he’d just had a rough week.
“Answer me!” He screamed.
She knew this wasn’t a normal reaction, but she didn’t know what to say. She just explained that she was doing laundry. He made her feel like she’d done something wrong, packed his things, and left. It was a full week before she heard from him again. Deep inside, she knew that that number wasn’t for business, but she didn’t say a word. She hoped that he’d come home to her and forget about this Pam chick.
Once back in her room, the exhaustion hits her like a ton of bricks, so she goes straight to bed without even turning the television on. Her sleep is easy, deep, and uninterrupted, which is unusual in a strange place.
When the sun starts to shine through the curtains, Isabella wakes up and glances at her phone. She sees the time and notices there are still no calls or texts from Eric. Either he hasn’t been served, or he doesn’t care, which digs into the open wound a little more. Although she wouldn’t go back and try to make it work, it hurts to know she is expendable to him.
It doesn’t take her long to get dressed. After packing her things into the car, she checks out, and runs through the Del Taco drive through for a breakfast burrito and much needed coffee. Once she’s back on the road, Isabella finds a pop radio station to listen to in hopes of bringing her spirits up. She is a little happier today, with the knowledge that she’ll see Daniel again. It’s been four long years. They’ve talked a little online, but Eric was pretty insistent that she stay offline, saying it was dangerous because people would try to get to her because of him. She never truly understood, but never spoke up about it.
As she sang along to some upbeat songs, she tried to push thoughts of Eric aside. The last six years of her life had been all about him, but it was time to find herself again. Isabella is ready to spread her wings, and there isn’t anyone on earth she’d rather have at her side than her cousin Daniel.
She’d left home to go to college in New York; she wanted to be amid the hustle and bustle. After living in small town Illinois all her life, she wanted to see more of the world. The moment she learned she’d been accepted into New York University, she jumped at the chance to get away from home. Her parents were strict and she was ready for the independence that came with being on her own.
She’d only been at school for a few months when she met Eric. While walking from one class to another, she was busy studying flash cards when she literally ran into him, causing her to stumble, and her cards to fly through the air. When she looked up to see who broke her fall, she saw this picture-perfect man. He was tall, strong, with beautiful copper eyes, tanned skin, a prominent jaw line, and a bright smile. She was so taken aback by his beauty that she had to shake her head to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.
Then he spoke to her with that voice of silk. “Are you okay Miss?” A simple question that sent tingles through her body.
Unable to respond, she just shook her head and tried to get up. Things progressed quickly from there. He was in town visiting his little brother who also went to NYU. Eric was from California and was a junior partner in a big Los Angeles-based law firm that had satellite offices all over the world. He was rich, and spent the week showering Isabella with attention and gifts.
When the week ended, Isabella’s heart was broken. He was going back to Los Angeles and she would never see him again. Yeah, they’d exchanged numbers and all, but she knew he was a busy man and would find someone much closer to his age and his home. The age difference didn’t bother her, but she was sure with his position at work, he’d want his permanent woman to be closer in age. Dating someone nine years younger was not the way to climb the work ladder.
She was wrong, however. A few days after Eric left, he called her. She was overjoyed when she saw his name on her Caller ID. He begged her to come see him for Thanksgiving week, since he knew she’d have a break from school. When she agreed, his excitement seemed genuine. The trip was wonderful, and she was on cloud nine when she went back to school with a return ticket to spend her entire Winter Break with him.
By the end of freshman year, Eric had convinced Isabella to leave NYU for UCLA, and to move in with him. She thought she was living a fairy tale, that her prince had arrived and swept her off her feet. And for the next two years, it felt just like that. He’d done everything she could dream of, took her on trips to exotic places, bought her fancy clothes and beautiful jewelry, and gave her the wedding of every little girl’s dreams. She was just shy of twenty-one when they married. She had no college degree, but was living the high life.
The next year was wonderful too, they just spent less time together. He was promoted to partner just after the wedding, and that meant a lot more hours. By year four, he was gone more than he was home. There were no more flowers, no mid-day calls or texts, and barely any time alone together. The last year was worse. When Eric did come home a few times a week, he always smelled of perfume, and barely acknowledged Isabella. She even found receipts now and then for flowers and jewelry, but none of it had been given to her.
Finally, she’d had enough. Isabella called Daniel and told him she was coming home, but gave him no details. Embarrassed she’d made such a huge mistake, she packed her car and left a few days later, then filed the divorce papers and paid for them to be served. Eric hadn’t been home in days, and she was done caring.
The miles go on and on while she reminisces. The memories are less painful than they were yesterday, but it’s still hard for her to believe she was so naïve for two whole years. How in the world would she explain this to Daniel when she arrived? She didn’t want to hear, “I told you so,” from him.
Chapter Three
DRIVING THROUGH HER childhood town brings tears to her eyes. She can’t believe that she didn’t come home to see her dad after her mom died. As she looks around, memories of her growing up make her heart ache all over again. She can’t believe she didn’t spend more time with him once she’d met Eric. How could she allow herself to be so controlled? She had always thought she was strong and independent. Turns out, she was too easily persuaded. That will never happen again.
When she finally reaches the stop sign at the top of her street, she sits a little longer than necessary. There isn’t a car in sight, so she takes the time to gather her courage. Going home to admit she failed isn’t easy. Daniel’s disappointment isn’t going to hurt nearly as much as Aunt Susan’s will. I hope Daniel hasn’t mentioned my trip to her yet.
A quick series of honks startles her out of her thoughts, and she turns down her street. Isabella feels nauseated as she pulls into the driveway of her childhood home. She closes her eyes and takes a few deep cleansing breaths, hoping to muster little self-worth before heading inside. She steps out, grabs her suitcase, and turns to face the house. She’s surprised to see that Daniel has put a lot of work into it. It’s beautiful, freshly painted, with a completely manicured yard. It was in need of work, but she didn’t expect him to have done so much.
Daniel had planted the most beautiful fall garden she’d ever seen. The Joey Pye Weed were dying, but she could imagine them at their fall best under the large picture window in the front. She loved the way he’d sprinkled in the Ornamental Kale and Peppers underneath. The bluish purple popped under the browning bush. Her favorite were the Black Eyed Susans and Russian Sage in the raised planters along the side of the driveway. Asters were dying slowly throughout the other planters, but she could see the love and care he’d put into making it beautiful.<
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She stops at the porch and just turns to admire the yard. Of course, memories of running around in the yard as a child flood her mind. As the sun sets, the beautiful colors maker her a little more emotional. She feels like her parents are telling her they are happy she’s home. Her dad never said as much, but she knew he didn’t like Eric either.
The sound of the door opening startles her, and she stumbles off the step, almost falling into the planter.
“I don’t remember you being so clumsy,” a deep voice jokes.
She recognizes the voice instantly and lets out a little laugh. Just hearing his voice is calming. Daniel is home to her, and her soul knows it. Not living near him was torture at first, but she got used to it. Now she realizes how much she has missed him.
She straightens back up, and turns to look at him. She can’t believe how much he’s changed since her dad’s funeral. He’s grown a few more inches and filled out. Whatever he’s been doing, he looks good. And happy. There’s no sign of stress or worry on his face. Oh, how she hopes she looks that joyful one day.
“Izzy, you okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Just can’t believe how grown up you look. You look good, Daniel.”
“Not to be mean, but you look like shit, Izzy. What is wrong?”
“There is so much to tell. I’m not quite ready, though. Can I just come in and get settled?”
“Of course.”
Daniel takes her bag and opens the door for her. When Isabella gets inside, she looks around in awe. Daniel not only took care of the outside like it was his own, he completely renovated the inside as well. He took down the awful wallpaper that her mom loved so much. Her dad had refused to let her take it down after she died. But Daniel did, and the result is breathtaking. It opened the entry way and living room so much. It feels bright and warm now. The window looks like it’s sparkling, even in the dimming evening lighting.