Controlling Circumstances

by Jean Kelso

  “No!”

  “Yes!”

  “Never,” he growls.

  I struggle, but he still doesn’t let go. I have no idea why he won’t, so I just give up with a huff.

  “Look at me, Belle,” Gabe demands.

  I look up with a frown.

  “How do you feel right now?” he asks.

  He’s seriously asking me that? “Frustrated,” I tell him.

  “Why?”

  Is he being serious right now? “Because you won’t let me go.”

  “I won’t let go because I want you to know while I hold your hands, I have the control, and while I have the control, I need you to trust that I won’t ever hurt you.” Gabe stares at me intently.

  This makes sense to me. He’s trying to make a point. Point taken.

  “Now, from a different point of view if not frustrated, how would you feel?” He gives my hands a squeeze.

  I know I feel trapped, I think to myself. When trapped and there’s nowhere to go, one mostly feels helpless. Like a light bulb switching on, I know this is what Gabe looks for. “Helpless,” I whisper.

  Gabe closes his eyes slowly and blows out a breath. “Yes. Helpless. That is how I feel.”

  I look to him, puzzled. Why does he feel helpless? “Why?” I ask him.

  He finally let’s go of my hands and sets them in my lap. Gabe sits back in his chair and speaks. “I feel helpless because I’m here with you, but I’m not really. I’m stuck standing on the outside looking in, watching you suffer from a past I can’t imagine of what you endured.” He runs his hands over his face and through his hair. After Gabe blows out a long breath, he continues. “I want to be the one to help, to help you escape that past and learn to trust the future that I hope we can have together.”

  My heart skips a beat. Things start to make a little sense. Just a little, though. Trust is a hard thing, and Gabe understands that. What I can’t figure out is how his control issues will help. “I do trust you, but you can’t control everything going on.” I unfold my legs and set my feet on the floor. I lean forward as I look up at him and lick my dry lips. “I need to control my life. Having lost it once destroyed me. You need to understand that you can’t have it all.”

  “I understand that. I really do. I don’t want it all. I just want you. I can help you. You don’t think I can see the anxiety, the panic that sits just under the surface? I can help with that. I want to help you with that. You just have to let me.”

  I love this man, I really do. I don’t want to push him away. The help he offers is something I most likely need. I can’t deny him. “Okay,” I simply say.

  “Thank, fuck!” Gabe growls. He lifts me off the bed and wraps my legs around his waist. I hold on tight, never wanting to let go. “We’ll go slowly, but I know I can help you, Belle. Together we’ll conquer this. I love you so much.” He peppers my face with kisses as tears start to fall down my face, and I start to laugh.

  “I love you, too.” I give him a peck on the lips and hold him tight.

  Gabe pulls back with a big smile on his face. His smile’s worth seeing after seeing broody and bossy Gabe. I return the smile.

  “Can I ask you something, Belle?” Gabe grins and raises one eyebrow in curiosity.

  I nod.

  “Has anyone else ever called you Izzy?” he asks. His expression becomes guarded. He probably expects the worst from me, but I only feel a quick thump of anxiety in my chest. I’m okay. Hearing that name is getting easier. In therapy years ago, my therapist called me that name to help me overcome the fear I attached to it. Believe it or not, it actually helped some.

  I bite my lip and swallow the lump in my throat as I nod. “That was his name for me—only him. To everyone else I’ve always been Belle. I’ve never been a fan of it.” I’m completely honest with Gabe. With trust comes honesty, right? “It used to be a trigger for me, but with therapy, things got better.”

  Gabe moves around the bed and lays me down. I release myself from him and relax into the bed. He lays next to me on his side. His arm wraps around my waist with his head being held up by his other arm. I turn my body slightly to face him.

  “Speaking of triggers, my holding you down and restraining you I guess…when I kiss you, is that another trigger?” Gabe’s eyes narrow. They hold many questions and possibly all the answers, too.

  “It is, but as you say with your control and with me trusting you, it’ll get easier. I’ll overcome that, as well.” I reach down and clasp my hand with his that lies on my waist. Hopefully, this talk with Gabe—touching him, reassuring him—will make it so he knows that I want him here, that I want his help and I just want him.

  With my free hand I reach over to Gabe and run my fingers through his hair. I smile at him and lick my lips. I feel like I need to show him that I need him, want him and love him. I move my hand to the back of his head and pull him down to me. I press my now wet lips to his. My tongue licks his bottom lip and encourages him to open for me. Gabe does, and I slip my tongue in as I search for his. Once our tongues touch, sparks begin to fly. My need for him intensifies, and I don’t think I can get enough.

  I can feel the heat rise in me as Gabe shifts. His body slowly covers mine. Gabe’s hands touch my body in just the right places. I begin to ache. I need him so badly. I reach my arms around his neck and pull him closer to push the kiss deeper. I want Gabe to know what I feel. I hope he feels it, too.

  Gabe’s kiss moves down to my chin and my neck to my collar bone. Little nibbles and sucks cause goose bumps to rise to the surface. Gabe’s hand slips under my shirt and I feel him pull the cups of my bra down. Breast by breast, Gabe plays with my nipples. It causes me to moan under him.

  He pulls back instantly and kneels while breathing heavily. “Shirt. Off. Now,” Gabe growls.

  My hormones rage, and there’s no way I’ll deny him or myself this. I reach for the hem of my shirt and begin to pull. I squirm and wiggle until I get the shirt up and over my head. I toss it aside and look to Gabe. His eyes are so dark, so intense looking. He looks like he’s ready to devour me whole. Heck, I’m going to let him.

  “Bra,” Gabe growls while raising his eyebrows.

  Talk about impatient. What am I talking about? If I could just snap my fingers and have us both naked, I would. God, I so would. These demands I can handle and meet. I lean up just enough to reach around and unclasp my bra and remove it.

  Gabe is on me before the bra even hits the ground. His warm, wet lips wrap around my nipple. Gabe sucks while his hand caresses and tweaks the other breast. The sensations that roll through me are unbelievable. Feelings I want to feel over and over again with this man. I reach down and grab onto Gabe’s shirt. I try to pull it up and off of him while he’s occupied with little success.

  Gabe grunts momentarily, leans back, pulls his shirt off and throws it off the side of the bed.

  I lick my lips at him and reach for his pants.

  Gabe smirks a sexy smile at me. He gets up from the bed. He’s quick to remove his pants and mine. I giggle, but not for long. Soon my giggles are moans of lust and want.

  “Stop teasing me, Gabe,” I groan.

  Gabe kisses my navel and moves downwards. It sends tingles of pleasure throughout me. Gabe’s hot breath on my naked pussy makes me want to come already. I’m so worked up and I need him to stop teasing me.

  Gabe’s tongue swipes my clit and sends a jolt of extreme pleasure to my core. I try to lift my pelvis up, to grind my pussy to his face, but Gabe stops me. He holds me by my hips while he devours me and takes his fill.

  I drive my hands into Gabe’s hair because I need to grab onto something. The pleasure is unimaginable. Gabe sure knows what he’s doing. He undoes me and puts me back together at the same time. A love I’ve never experienced and I don’t ever want to lose.

  “Ah, Gabe. Yes.” I moan through every lick and touch he gives me.

  My breath catches as Gabe pushes his finger deep inside me. I feel it curl just a little and
can feel him hit my sweet spot. Gabe pulls his finger out and two go back in. I’m so ready to explode. Again, his fingers hit the spot. I can feel the tension build all the way from my toes up. “Gabe, I’m… ahh…” In and out a few more times with his fingers and deep suck on my clit. I’m a goner. I burst. The mind-numbing orgasm makes me scream Gabe’s name and pull on his hair.

  The bed dips and Gabe moves up and over me. I can feel his dripping erection at my opening. I’m beyond ready for him. He crushes his lips down on mine that drip with my orgasm, but I don’t mind. I take Gabe’s mouth and allow him to take control. In one quick thrust, he’s in me and groans loudly.

  “Fuck, Belle. I love you so much.” Gabe pulls back slowly only to thrust forward faster and deeper. His hands roam up my ribcage, over my breast then to my hands. Gabe moves my hands to above my head and holds them there.

  Even though I’m in a lustful daze, feeling the anxiety of being restrained can’t be hidden. My body tenses slightly and I know Gabe notices.

  “Trust me. I got you,” Gabe whispers as he continues to hold my hands, removing one of his hands to leave both of mine in his one. He uses his free hand to caress my arm and then my breasts. Not once does he stop thrusting. Gabe brings me to another peak of orgasm. He kisses my lips and nibbles my ear and neck. He whispers continuously to me to reassure me. “I won’t hurt you. Relax.” Thrust. Groan. Grind. Moan. Kiss. Thrust.

  I feel my body begin to tense again and wrap my legs around Gabe’s waist to edge him on. So far, I’m doing okay being held by him. With Gabe reassuring me, it helps. My body relaxes and resumes accepting the pleasure it seeks. Score one for Gabe. Trigger, zero.

  I can feel Gabe’s body begin to shake and tense. He must be close. His breathing is heavy and he’s getting really sweaty. I clench my walls around his cock to let him know that I’m more than ready.

  “Gabe…oh—oh… I need to…” I pant.

  Gabe thrusts deep and hard once, then twice. “Fucking come for me, Belle,” Gabe growls and then he groans out his release as I scream out mine. Gabe bows his head into the nook of my shoulder and neck.

  Gabe breathes heavily as he slowly pulls out and rolls to the side, releasing my hands. I move my hands down and lay them on my sweat-soaked belly.

  I sigh contently. “That was amazing,” I mumble while still coming down from my orgasmic bliss.

  Gabe chuckles lightly. “Yes, it fucking was.” He faces me and traces little circles on my arm. “So, are you okay? I mean, with how I held you?” he asks softly.

  I close my eyes for a moment and gather my thoughts. This man just gave me two—count’ em—two amazing orgasms, and he cares about me. Boy, do I love this man. “Hearing your voice helped a lot. Feeling you, knowing it was you, helped even more.” I look into Gabe’s eyes, which glistened with love that I return wholeheartedly, and smile.

  CHAPTER 18

  Belle

  A KNOCK ON THE BEDROOM DOOR breaks our moment. Gabe reaches over and pulls a blanket over us. “Yeah?” he yells.

  The door opens and Jack walks in a few steps. “Sorry to interrupt the love fest, but I think you need to come watch the news.” The grim expression Jack wears means that it isn’t good.

  “Alright, give us a few minutes,” Gabe tells him. Jack walks back out and shuts the door behind him.

  Gabe tosses the blanket aside. Then he leans over and gives me a peck on the lips. Okay, time to get up. I roll to the side and am about to sit up when Gabe smacks my ass. “Hey.” I wince just a little and then laugh.

  “Opportunity knocked, babe.” Gabe chuckles as he gets up from the bed and begins to pick up his clothes from the floor.

  With both of us dressed and looking half-decent, I follow Gabe out to the living room. Mel sits on the big chair and cries while Jack stands behind the couch. He leans down and grips the back of the couch. What the hell is going on?

  “Jack?” Gabe asks.

  I go and sit on the couch. I look to Mel who in turn looks at me with red eyes and trembling lips. She nods her head towards the television. I turn to look. There on Gabe’s TV a live news feed is on. They talk about a fire engulfing an entire building—something about arson. The volume is on low so I don’t quite catch everything. I look to Mel and back to the screen. I don’t understand. That is until a picture, a live feed of the fire, comes onto the screen.

  I jump up from the couch. “Cock sucking, mother-fucker!”

  Gabe watches me as I begin to pace the floor in the living room. Gabe looks a little confused about the situation, and since Jack doesn’t enlighten him, I just blurt it out. “That rotten son of a bitch burned my place down.”

  Gabe turns to the television and growls. “Jack. We need to finish this.” Gabe comes to me and takes hold of my shoulders. I look up at him and see the anger that seeps from him. If looks could kill, Mike’s a dead man—but not before I get to him.

  “I can’t believe he did this,” I cry out. I try my best to keep my anger at bay, but it’s so hard. My heart begins to pound, and I fight to keep the tears back. “I hate him so much. He just keeps taking and taking. When will it end?” I grit out and look up to the ceiling. I can feel my body start to shake from the anger, the anxiety that wants to take over. How both of the emotions come together for me, I have no idea, but they do.

  Gabe touches my cheek and brings me back to him. “Belle? You need to calm down. Take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth. You need to take control. Stay with me, babe. You got this. Focus.” Gabe looks into my eyes and makes me focus only on him. He takes control of the situation at hand and helps to calm the anxiety that breaks at the seams to get out.

  I do as Gabe tells me. I breathe in, and then out. I focus only on him. His simple touch keeps me in the here and now. “He isn’t going to win, Belle. You have me. You always will.”

  I listen to Gabe’s words and focus on my breathing. My muscles relax and my anger gives way. Well, fuck. Gabe’s good at this control stuff.

  I slump into Gabe’s body and wrap my arms around him. I’m so thankful to have him by my side. I can still hear Mel crying over on the chair, so I release myself from Gabe and go over to her. I stand behind the chair and lean down to wrap my arms around her shaking form. “It’s okay, Mel. I’m okay,” I tell her.

  Mel sniffs and reaches up. She takes my hands in hers. “I know, but what if you were in there?” She sniffles. “You weren’t in the room. I was half asleep when the text came through and Jack turned the TV on. Seeing your home like that…” Mel blows out a shaky breath and continues. “I forgot you weren’t there and just about freaked. If it wasn’t for Jack reminding me you were here, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

  I give Mel a squeeze to let her know I’m here and not going anywhere. “I guess men are good for something, right?” I smile into Mel’s hair. I know this will catch her off-guard.

  Mel giggles and sniffs. “You jerk,” she says. “Men are good for many things, and you know it.”

  This time I have to laugh. I kiss the top of her head and stand up. I look between the men and ask. “So what now?” I don’t know if a plan of any kind will work or help to say the least, but I need to keep my mind occupied right now. I just lost my home—everything actually—and that stings like hell.

  Jack finally sits down on the couch and Gabe leads me over there, too. He sits first and pulls me onto his lap. “Well, first we call the police about the fire. When we talk to them about that, we’ll tell them our suspicions about Mike and everything else that has been going on.” Gabe looks to Jack and Jack nods.

  “Agreed. He’s taking this to a whole new level and as much as we say we can protect you…I hate to say it, but I don’t know if we can protect us all,” Jack says to me before he glances at Mel, who’s now curled-up into a ball on the chair, listening. “But first, I think everyone needs a good night’s rest. I don’t think I’ll leave and go to the hotel tonight. If you don’t mind, I’ll crash here.” Appar
ently, Jack had been staying in a hotel not far in another part of the city when Gabe called, so we had lucked out on him being so close by.

  “Yeah, no problem,” Gabe responds.

  “Okay, good. Gabe if you want to make the call then take your woman to bed. I’ll make sure everything is locked up tight here and set up some cameras for surveillance. Mel you can take the spare room, and I’ll sleep on the couch out here.” Jack takes charge of the situation—and here I thought Gabe was the control freak.

  Jack hands Gabe his cell and Gabe makes the call. I tune out the conversation and think about everything that has happened so far. I pray that nothing else bad happens. When I tune back in, Gabe hands the phone back to Jack. Gabe begins to stand while he holds me in his arms. “A detective will be by in the morning to talk to us. For now, everyone get some shuteye.” Gabe nods to Mel and Jack before he carries me to the bedroom.

  Gabe sets me on the bed and goes to the window. He locks it and closes the curtain—not that it’ll make a difference being a sheer fabric. Then Gabe goes to his dresser, grabs a pair of pajama pants and proceeds to strip out of his clothes. I can’t help but stare. He’s such a beautiful man, and I’ll never get enough of him. As for now? Yes, I’ve had enough. The events of the day are finally catching up with me. The amazing sex, the fire, my anxiety—I’m exhausted and didn’t even realize it.

  I stand from the bed and go to my bag. I pull out a pair of pajamas and shyly begin to strip out of my clothes. I can feel Gabe’s eyes on me and I blush.

  “You best be hurrying with putting those pajamas on, Belle. I don’t know how strong I am,” Gabe growls.

  Well, does that make a person feel wanted or what? I hurry to put my clothes on and turn to move toward the bed. Gabe is already in the bed. He holds the blanket back for me to crawl in. Well, isn’t that sweet.

  I do as invited and lay my head on his welcoming chest. Gabe wraps his arm around me and pulls me close. He kisses the top of my head as I snuggle close getting comfortable. “Good night, Belle. Sleep well,” I hear Gabe whisper.