Worth the Trouble

by Becky McGraw

  "I won't bite, darlin'...unless you want me to," he drawled and one side of his grin kicked up cockily sending her heart dancing around in her chest.

  She should just walk out, leave him to wallow in his self-pity, but Rocky wasn't going to let him have the satisfaction of running her off, and she was determined to help him recover, for Terri's sake. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he needed her help and with more than getting in that hot tub.

  "I'll help you, but don't get fresh," she warned and walked over to the hot tub.

  He raised two fingers to his brow and said, "Scout's honor."

  She snorted then asked, "You were a boy scout?"

  "Troop leader," he replied proudly and dropped his hand to his thigh.

  "Of course." Ethan Cassidy would be a leader at everything he attempted. The problem was that right now he wasn't attempting anything to help himself get better.

  This nursing thing was way out of Rocky's realm of expertise, but she was going to try her best to help him. The problem was going to be making Ethan want to get better. Without that, there would be no hope of recovery. Unfortunately, hope is exactly what he was lacking now, and what she was determined to give him back.

  Horses were her specialty, not humans. A degree in equine science made her a damned good horse trainer, but it didn't qualify her to help this man. She knew how to rehabilitate horses, not people.

  But she was going to damn well try to help.

  Of course, she had heard about those programs and their successes with disabled kids and adults, but she had never visited a facility or taken training in it. To help Terri though, to help Ethan, she would learn and give it her best shot.

  The printouts from the internet that Terri had given her explained a lot, and the therapy lesson plan she had another facility fax to her were definitely going to help. With Ethan's cooperation and participation, Rocky felt certain she could do this, and that it would help him, but Terri had been on target when she said he was frustrated and depressed.

  Rocky could definitely see why. If she was in his position, she would feel the same way, probably worse, and could only hope that someone would step up and help her.

  When he was here last year, he had been hanging out of a helicopter to save his sister from a flooded creek, and riding bad ass bulls in the bull riding adventure here at the ranch. Seeing Ethan disabled and in a wheelchair now made her step back and appreciate how quickly life could change.

  Rocky knew men though, she had worked with them long enough, and coddling him wasn't going to get him anywhere. He needed a challenge and that was what she was going to give him.

  "Well, if you had finished your reps in the gym she wouldn't be pissed at you," Rocky told him accusingly.

  "What's the damned use? I can't be a firefighter anymore, or work with the Texas Task Force either. It doesn't really matter one way or another if I'm on my feet again, but she keeps pushing." His tone was a conflicted mix of desperation and despair.

  "She loves you, idiot, and she's worried," Rocky told him then shook her head and finished, "I had no idea you gave up that easily. The last time you were here you landed flat on your ass ten times, before you got a good ride on that bull. Every time you got thrown, you got back up. I was a little impressed." A lot more than that had impressed her about the man, but she wasn't trying to make his head swell here, she was trying to get him to want to get better.

  "I could get up by myself then. I wasn't a washed up invalid," he grumbled then put his palms on the edge of the tub and pushed up. His hand slipped, his legs slid sideways off of the steps, and he came down hard on his hip on the top step. Just before he tumbled down the steps, he caught himself.

  "Fuck!" he shouted struggling to find his balance.

  Rocky ran to him and put her arms around him to help steady him. His heart was racing and his body trembled. "Easy..." she said softly, soothing him like she would a skittish horse. "Giving up is not the answer, Ethan."

  "Neither is trying," he replied then growled, "People pitying me just pisses me off. Not being able to do shit pisses me off...I'm just pissed off." The defeat in his voice about killed her.

  She helped him get upright then sat on the step below him. "You have a right to be mad, this should never have happened to you. All you were doing is trying to help someone. That's who you are, what you do. Now, you need to let me help you."

  When his eyes met hers, they were filled with so much misery it took her breath away. "I don't know who I am now," he admitted, his tight jaw telling her how much it took for him to admit that.

  Rocky put her hand on his thigh and squeezed. "You're not Superman anymore, Ethan, but you are worth something. You'll figure it out, but it's gonna take time. Be patient and don't push yourself. Take it one day at a time."

  His lips twisted then he said, "Since all I have is time now, I guess that won't be a problem."

  "Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and walking around with a grudge against the world, focus that energy on getting back on your feet, and doing what the doctor tells you to do. Accept help from the people who care about you."

  "Needing help isn't something I'm familiar with. Other people leaned on me, I didn't lean on them. I'm not used to being...helpless."

  "You're not helpless. You are still that same strong guy you were before you got hurt, the only difference is the one you need to help now is yourself."

  Ethan stared at her a moment then dropped his eyes to his hands. "I haven't talked to anyone about any of this, so don't share it with my sister, please."

  "I won't...I promise," she assured him and stood. Grabbing his arm she told him patiently, "Now, let's get you in that hot tub."

  Heat shot through her fingertips and traveled up her arm into her chest when her fingers curled around his bicep. With a gasp she pulled her hand away, but he caught her wrist and his heated eyes met hers. For a moment, he just stared into her eyes, then with a jerk to her arm he pulled her to him. She fell awkwardly across his lap, before his arms closed around her.

  Rocky could get away if she wanted to, but she sat still.

  In slow motion, his mouth lowered toward hers and her breath caught in her throat. For just a second his lips hesitated over hers, electricity buzzed between them, then light as a feather he rubbed his lips over hers. Her hair stood on end and soft, liquid desire floated through her as he tasted her lips, before coaxing them open with a flick of his tongue over the seam.

  "Mmm...you taste like cherries," he groaned with a gentle nip to her lower lip.

  "Chapstick this time," she whispered hoarsely.

  Tentatively, Rocky leaned into him and slid her arm around his neck pressing her lips to his again. A slow languorous fire unfurled inside of her as he fully engaged in kissing her back...and then some. His fingers caressed her sides and inched upward toward her breasts ramping up the heat.

  This kiss was on a whole different level than any she'd had from him before, in a whole different universe. It was hot as hell, but sweet too, patient and not hurried. Slow and sexy, it made her want to sit here kissing him all night long.

  Five minutes of bliss was all she got though. The sound of the spa door opening had her pushing against Ethan's chest.

  "Oh...I, um," Terri stuttered in a shocked voice tinged with amusement.

  Cool air brushed her lips after Ethan dragged his lips away. His arms tightened around her when she tried to squirm off of his lap, and he put his forehead to hers.

  "Your timing sucks, sis. Guess I need to piss you off better next time," he told Terri, his voice a little husky.

  The physical results of their make out session was pressed hard against her hip, and she figured out quickly why he wasn't letting her stand. Rocky also discovered that her wiggling wasn't making the problem any better, so she stopped struggling. Heat baked her face when her eyes met his laughter and desire filled gaze.

  "I just wanted to let Rocky know the vet was here, and to make sure you weren't giving her a hard
time," Terri told them then added with her lips twitching, "Looks like ya'll are getting along well enough."

  Rocky jumped up off of Ethan's lap and said quickly, "Oh, thanks I need to go talk to him." Without making eye contact with Terri, she ran for the door.

  "Make sure you come to dinner tonight, Penny is making meatloaf," Terri yelled and Rocky heard her chuckle as she closed the door behind her.

  Needing to get herself together before she met with Wes Jepson, Rocky leaned back against the wall and wiped one sweaty palm against her blue jeans, putting her other hand to her racing heart while she took deep breaths.

  One lousy kiss and he had her all tangled up inside again.

  She shouldn't have let it happen, but with Ethan's vulnerability in plain sight like it had been, her defenses had crashed down. Seeing him like that had made him damned irresistible to her.

  Grudgingly, she admitted he was always irresistible to her for some reason.

  Even when he had been an asshole to her, she had made excuses for him. He's hurt, he's embarrassed, and although that was true, she was evidently a glutton for punishment too. Because she knew opening herself up to this man again was leaving herself wide open to be hurt.

  With a deep breath, Rocky pushed off of the wall, and headed for the barn and business. Wes was waiting out there to talk about Chancey, the gelding a greenhorn guest had ridden through a cactus patch. The horse had a cactus needle embedded in the frog of his hoof, and although she had removed the needle and dosed the horse with Bute, she wanted Wes to check him out and give him some antibiotics.

  When she got to the barn, Chancey's stall door was open and Wes was inside. The top of his brown felt Stetson was visible just above the wall.

  "Wes?" she called out as she walked down the aisle toward the stall. He stepped out of the stall and gave her a wide smile in greeting and took off his hat to run the rim around his fingers.

  "That cactus got him good, huh?"

  "Yeah, I took the needle out and gave him some Bute, but I think he needs something stronger for pain and antibiotics," she informed returning his smile.

  "I think we need to put a boot on him to keep it clean, and soak it. I'll leave some pills with you, and I gave him a shot for pain."

  "Thanks, Wes...I'm sorry to call you all the way out here, but I was worried it would get infected," she told him and walked around him to go into the stall. Chancey nudged her shoulder then sniffed the pocket of her jeans looking for a treat. She rubbed his muzzle then scratched between his ears.

  "You know I never mind coming out here to see you," Wes said with a curious little smile. There was something different in the vet's tone today, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was.

  Her eyes met his and his smile widened causing little laugh lines to crinkle beside his warm gold-flecked hazel eyes. Funny how she'd never noticed how good looking the vet was before now. Tall and leanly muscled with a square jaw, and short-cropped sandy brown hair which was usually covered in a cowboy hat, he was not quite classically handsome, but damned close.

  That wasn't something she wanted to notice though, Wes was just her friend. She definitely didn't want to ruin that either.

  She knew that Wes was divorced and she had met his ten-year-old son, Trey. From what she'd heard through the grapevine, his wife had left him and their son to go find herself in California. What that meant, Rocky had no idea, but the cowboys she worked with seemed to think it meant she didn't like country life, because she had been a converted city girl who fancied herself an actress. Those guys gossiped worse than old women sometimes.

  Taking another circuit around the brim of his hat with his fingers, Rocky would swear Wes was scuffing the toe of his boot in the dust at their feet too. He cast his hazel eyes downward shyly, and she wanted to laugh. He was usually so forthright and confident, but right now he looked damned uncomfortable.

  Finally he raised his eyes to meet hers again and asked quickly as if he couldn't get the words out fast enough, "Rocky would you go to dinner with me tonight?"

  "Dinner?" she repeated stupidly as if it were a foreign term.

  "Yeah, you know food, conversation...company," he said with a chuckle. "There's a new steak house in town I want to try out, and I'm tired of eating alone. I also have a proposition to talk over with you." His face looked unsure as he waited for her to answer.

  Maybe it was because Ethan had stirred up her hormones earlier, maybe it was a full moon, she had no idea what was causing it, but for some reason Rocky was thinking every man in her vicinity was hitting on her, which was ridiculous. Like he said, Wes was probably just lonely and wanted to talk. They talked all the time when he came out to the ranch, so this wasn't any different.

  With a nervous laugh she edged around him and walked back out into the aisle. The stall had become entirely too small to hold both of them and the twelve hundred pound horse.

  Wes really was a nice man, and it had been a long time since she'd been to town. And he said he just wanted to talk. Rocky was damned curious what he could want to talk about, and what his proposition would be. This was a business dinner, not a date.

  What would it hurt?

  She could use some friendly company too. It would also give her a reason to avoid facing Ethan at dinner. That was the man she needed to avoid so she could get her head together.

  The path of lesser evil, is what Wes represented right now, and as cowardly as that was, she was going to take it. "Sure, that sounds good. Let me go get cleaned up. I'll be back in a few minutes."

  CHAPTER THREE

  Finishing reps in the gym never came up again. When Terri helped Ethan out of the hot tub, she didn't mention it and neither had he. After wheeling himself to his room, he grabbed clothes and showered in the master bathroom, on his own, using the shower chair and bars Terri had installed. He even managed to shave, since Terri's mirror was lower than his mother's had been.

  Ethan was sore, and grumpy, but had to admit he felt better than he had in months.

  Coming here had been a good idea, he was feeling stronger and for some reason the dark cloud he'd been living under was parting just a little. It wasn't full blown optimism he was feeling, but it was a helluva lot more than he'd felt since the accident.

  His stomach growled and he put a hand over it and chuckled.

  Hunger wasn't something he'd been plagued by either since the accident, but all the working out had definitely changed that too. Ethan towel dried his hair, then tossed the towel into the basket in the corner, before wheeling himself out of the door and down the hall toward the kitchen.

  Penny the cook had probably already served dinner, and he was late. She wouldn't be happy. The ranch hands weren't around, they were out on the trail with the guests, so the only ones at dinner would be family, and probably Roxanne.

  Anticipation of seeing her again tickled in his chest. He hadn't wanted to see her again in the condition he was in, but Terri had forced his hand and he was glad now.

  Thinking of her, that night in the hayloft, and the hot kiss they'd shared in the spa had him getting hard again and he grinned. Everything definitely still worked. After dinner, maybe he could get her to go on a 'walk' with him and he could taste her again. Even after the shower, her cherry taste teased him.

  With a smile on his face, he wheeled himself into the dining room. When he saw only his sister and Joel at the big table, his smile fell.

  "Where's Roxanne?" he asked nonchalantly and wheeled himself up to the table. The smell of the meatloaf on the platter in the center of the table teased him and his stomach growled again.

  "You hungry, little brother?" Terri asked with a chuckle and took a sip of her sweet tea.

  "Famished," he admitted then dished himself up a plate and dug in.

  "Where's Roxanne?" he asked again when he took a break to sip his tea. He couldn't quite manage nonchalant the second time he asked.

  Terri dragged her eyes away from his and stared at her plate. Joel cleared his thr
oat and then told him, "She went to supper with the vet."

  The bite of biscuit Ethan had taken lodged in his throat. After swallowing a couple of times he managed to wash it down with some tea.

  "She what?" Ethan asked as evenly as he could manage. Jealousy wasn't a familiar emotion to him, but he could recognize that is exactly what he was feeling.

  "I saw her out at the barn and she told me she was having dinner with Wes Jepson, the vet, so she wouldn't be up to the house tonight."

  "She date much?" Ethan asked with his fork hovering above his dinner.

  "Not that I know of...I was kind of surprised too," Joel replied with a shrug then took another bite of his meal.

  "They're just friends," Terri blurted finally meeting his eyes. Hers held sympathy that he didn't want to acknowledge. That was the last thing he wanted to see there. He was damned tired of people feeling sorry for him.

  He wondered if that's why Roxanne had kissed him earlier, she felt sorry for him. Telling her all that shit about where he was mentally probably made him seem pathetic and needy. Ethan really didn't know why the hell he'd spilled his guts to her. All he knew was he damned well regretted doing it now.

  Now that he thought about it, it was awfully strange for her to kiss him at all. Considering the cruel things he had said to her, on top of refusing to see her since he'd been here, after their night in the barn, it was a damned miracle.

  As hard as he had tried to make her angry so she would leave him alone, she hadn't even gotten pissed, and he knew she had a temper.

  She definitely felt sorry for him, that is why she was acting so out of character from what he knew of her, and that is why she'd kissed him. The thought made the food he had ingested dance around in his stomach. He felt even more of a pathetic loser than he had before.

  Well, if that was her angle, he was going to set her straight real quick. He didn't want or need her help or her pity. If it took all night for her to get home, another thought that made him feel a little sick, Ethan was going to be out at that bunkhouse waiting to tell her that.