Worth the Trouble

by Becky McGraw

  Two weeks later, Roxanne sat out in the employee bunkhouse pushing her food around in her plate, not really listening to the loud conversations going on around her. Matt Walker sat next to her, toying with his food too. The rest of the ranch hands were digging into the hearty chili Jarvis had prepared as if it were their last meal.

  "Food not to your liking, Missy?" Jarvis grumped from his place at the head of the table. Jarvis took pride in everything he fixed for them, even tuna fish sandwiches, and if someone looked off of their food, he was going to ask why.

  "It's good, Jarvis...I'm just not real hungry," she told him, then forced a bite of the rich food into her mouth, chewing so she didn't have to say more.

  Matt elbowed her then leaned in to ask, "What's up with you?"

  She took a long drink of her iced tea then motioned to his plate with her fork. "I could ask you the same thing."

  There was no way she was going to tell Matt she was hung up on a man she shouldn't even think about wanting. As much as she tried to deny it though, she wanted Ethan Cassidy more than any man she'd ever met. Even more now that he was ignoring her.

  And he was so wrong for her, she knew giving in to her desires would amount to emotional suicide. But she was ready to take the plunge off the cliff with one indication from him that he was still interested. There hadn't been one single sign from him in two weeks though that he was.

  I like you and I want you, but I'm done chasing you.

  Those words had replayed in her mind a hundred thousand times since he'd muttered them. Every time they did, they drove her guilt deeper, and pulled her need for him higher. Since that night at the bonfire though, Ethan had kept to his word and hadn't even gotten close to the line with her, much less stepped over it. And It was driving her crazy.

  Flirty, playful Ethan was gone and had been replaced by a man she didn't even know. It was like aliens had abducted him and taken him to their spaceship where they sucked out his personality. Bland and boring, didn't begin to describe it.

  He interacted with the other ranch hands just fine, even laughed and joked with them, but he just ignored her. Well, not ignored exactly, he treated her like a casual acquaintance, polite but standoffish.

  During the riding lessons he didn't even really need anymore, he was patient and did exactly what she told him to do, but as soon as they were finished, he was out of there like his tail was on fire. She never, ever saw him after he left the barn.

  Even when she ate dinner up at the big house, while the other ranch hands were out on the trail, he was curiously absent from the table. One day she made the mistake of asking Terri about it, and had been told that she needed to ask Ethan.

  The irritating man occupied most of her waking thoughts, which was often because she was even having trouble sleeping. When she wasn't with him giving him riding lessons he didn't need now, just to spend time with him, she was thinking about him.

  And it was her own damned fault, because she hadn't trusted him, or had faith in him, had pushed him away one too many times, before she realized she liked him flirting with her. She lov--liked the way he made her feel about herself, enjoyed bantering with him, but she didn't realize that until he wasn't doing it anymore. Add into the mix that he saved her life, and Rocky was a goner. Now Ethan was just gone, and she missed him.

  But Rocky still wasn't sure she wanted to get involved with him. The man was still the smooth-talking city boy her daddy had warned her about. Maybe she could just sleep with him again to take the edge off and not let her emotions get involved.

  That was probably impossible though, because to date, except for that night with Ethan in the hayloft, Rocky had never slept with someone until she was sure about how she felt about them. When she met Ashton at twenty-three, she had still been a virgin. It took her four months to decide she wanted that with him. After she slept with him though, she wished she'd have held out a little longer, because it definitely hadn't been worth the trouble.

  She wasn't sure if she had feelings for Ethan or not, she cared about him, liked him a lot, but Rocky knew one thing for certain, she definitely wanted to sleep with him again.

  Matt finally spoke up and broke through her mental struggle.

  "My mama called me this morning and my sister's husband started drinking again. He left her and her kid high and dry. They have a big farm down by Henrietta, and she can't handle it by herself," he told her then sat his fork down on his plate. "I'm trying to find someone to help her, but by long distance that's hard."

  "So, go help her yourself," Rocky suggested swirling her spoon in her bowl.

  "I have to have the money I make here to help her, I can't just quit and go down there."

  "You can make it work if you want to, Matt. Joel will understand," she encouraged then told him, "Just talk to him."

  He studied her for a minute then a small smile flitted over his mouth. "I will...thanks, Rocky." He picked up his spoon and filled it with chili, before taking a big bite. After he washed it down with a sip of his tea he looked at her again and said, "Now, what's bothering you?"

  "I don't want to talk about it, really Matt, it's nothing," she told him. When his eyes narrowed she said, "Thanks for worrying about me though."

  "I do worry about you," he told her then tapped her forehead with his index finger. "You keep everything in here, and won't talk to anyone about anything. When you're at capacity up there, where will you be?"

  "Right here, sitting at this table," she said with a snort.

  "Maybe, maybe not."

  "What the heck is that supposed to mean?" she asked him then took a bite of chili and flinched as the hot stew burned all the way down to her stomach.

  "It means if you don't talk to someone about it, bounce things off of them to get a different perspective, you worry yourself sick, and go crazy," he told her then grinned.

  She took that to mean her words to him had helped him. "Glad to help, buddy," she told him and returned his smile. "I'll send you a bill in the morning."

  "And I'd gladly pay it, but I think I'm going to be a little short in the near future."

  "You going to Henrietta?" she asked surprised.

  "I think I am, but I'm going to sleep on it and talk to Joel tomorrow...we'll see," he told her then dug into the rest of his food.

  Rocky wished sleeping on it would solve her problem, but one had to sleep in order for that to happen. There had to be something she could do without coming right out and saying, "Ethan, hell yes, I'm interested, put me out of my misery."

  If she could just get him alone, maybe things would just evolve where she wanted them to go. Or maybe pigs would fly. It looked like Ethan Cassidy could be as stubborn as her when he decided on something.

  Regardless, she could break him, she knew it. She just had to get creative, use her noggin, and maybe something would come up.

  Ethan finished the last bite of the delicious steak that Penny had fixed them for dinner, then wiped his mouth and threw his napkin down on the plate. "God, if Penny keeps feeding me like that, I'm going to have to up my workout routine again," he said and grinned at Terri.

  "Yeah, you are getting a little chubby," she teased and took a sip of her tea.

  "Chubby?" he asked and lifted his shirt to pat his rock hard stomach. "Does that look like chub to you?" he snorted indignantly.

  "I meant in your head, brother dear," she said and rested her elbows on the table to give him that look. The one that said she was about to blast him. "It's about time you start earning your keep around here, don't you think?"

  Ut oh, she was back on the ranch medic thing again, he thought. "I thought the creek thing would buy me a little more time," he told her.

  "Your time has expired, it's been two weeks since the incident by the creek."

  He snorted then pushed his chair back. "Two lousy weeks is all you're giving me? I saved Rocky too, doesn't that count?"

  "It counts, but your free pass is over," she said a little more seriously than he liked.<
br />
  "I wasn't aware I had a free pass. You came to Henrietta to drag my ass out here in the boonies, so you could torture me," he reminded her.

  "And you better be thankful I did. You wouldn't be walking right now if you had laid your lazy butt in that bed another day, while you drove mama crazy." Terri leaned forward then told him, "I need an answer, Ethan. I'm not physically able to help with medical services in the field anymore. The creek incident proved that to me. If you hadn't been there, that man would have died. It's either you take the job, or I have to hire someone else."

  "Give me a few more days to think about it. I'm almost back on my feet now. With dad retiring, I was thinking maybe I could go back to the department," he told her without meeting her eyes.

  That thought had been playing around in the back of his mind for a week or so, and the more he thought, the more sense it made. He hadn't talked to his dad about it yet, but he wanted to. At the end of next month, his dad was retiring and that would leave the Captain position open.

  That job would be something Ethan could probably do, even slightly limited in his mobility. Since he added swimming to his workout routine, he was getting a lot stronger. Even though he knew he would never be back to a hundred percent, Ethan was starting to think he would be able to get very close. Besides, the men on the crew would handle the heavy lifting. He had the experience, they had the muscle, a win-win situation.

  Terri huffed out a frustrated breath. "Ethan dad is retiring so both of you can be out of firefighting, not so you can take his job."

  Anger surged up inside of him and he stood up then slammed his hands on the table on either side of his dinner plate. Terri jumped back and Joel scraped his chair back to stand.

  With a glance at Joel, Ethan met Terri's eyes and told her, "I am mentally capable of making my own decisions, Terri. I don't need you shoving a job down my throat that would only utilize a fraction of what I'm trained to do."

  She gasped and put a hand to her throat then stood and assumed a similar position to his. "I'm trying to offer you a job that is suited to your present physical condition and fits with what you're trained to do."

  "Don't upset your sister," Joel demanded and stepped around the table with his fists clenched at his sides.

  "Fine," Ethan said then walked through the arched doorway of the dining room. He was halfway across the living room before he realized he didn't have his crutches, they were leaning against the wall by where he had been sitting.

  "Well, I'll be damned," he muttered then took another experimental step, and another. Maybe he was ready to make that trip to the fire station now, he thought with a grin, continuing slowly across the living room, then down the hall to his bedroom where he slammed the door behind him.

  Rocky helped Jarvis clear the table, it was her turn, then as soon as she put the last plate in the dishwasher, she headed for her room to change. It was still early, and she was not tired yet. She thought maybe it was a good time to start working the plan that had been formulating while she ate.

  Tonight was a full moon, and the lake on the ranch property had some nice catfish in there. She'd gone fishing there several times with Matt and Dylan, and they had caught enough fish for supper the next night.

  Her rods were in the barn, so she would go get them and borrow some chicken gizzards from the freezer. She also knew a place near the lake where she could dig up some night crawlers, so she added a shovel to her mental supply list.

  Once she changed into shorts and her tennis shoes, she went out to the barn and got the equipment then loaded it in the back of her truck. Excitement, and not a small amount of fear and indecision, built inside of her when she parked in front of the big house and walked up on the porch.

  Sucking up her courage, she twisted the knob then went into the house. It was eerily quiet inside as she walked through the entryway into the living room, then made her way to the dining room where she assumed everyone would be. The room was empty, except for Penny who was picking up dishes to carry to the kitchen. Her face was red and she didn't look happy at all.

  "Hey, Penny...where is everyone?" Rocky asked hesitantly, hoping Ethan hadn't left the ranch tonight. She didn't know where he had been going while she was here eating with Terri and Joel, but assumed he had gone into town...to avoid seeing her.

  "Terri was upset, so Joel took her home. Ethan is in his room, I guess," she replied flatly.

  Something was definitely up around here.

  "Why was Terri upset?" she asked worriedly. Her friend was pregnant and Rocky didn't think it could be good that she was upset about anything.

  "I guess her and Ethan had a falling out of some kind and she was crying when she left," Penny said with a tsk and shake of her head.

  "They fought?" Terri was often sarcastic with Ethan, but he gave as good as he got, and neither usually got upset about it.

  "Yeah, I don't know what it was about, I was in the kitchen, but they were yelling at each other."

  "You know where his room is?" Rocky asked because she had no idea. The only rooms she had been in here was the living room, dining room and kitchen.

  "Yeah, third door on the left down the hall over there," Penny told her and stepped to the doorway to point at the hall. "I wouldn't get in the middle of it though, if I were you."

  "I don't intend to, I just want to find out what's going on," she said and patted Penny's shoulder as she passed.

  It looked like her impromptu fishing trip wasn't going to happen after all, she thought as she walked down the hallway to the door Penny indicated. After she checked on Ethan, she might go check on Terri to make sure she was doing okay. Joel was out at their house with her though, so they probably didn't want to be disturbed, and her husband would make sure she calmed down.

  Raising her fist, Rocky knocked loudly on the door in case Ethan was in the bathroom. It took a minute, but the door finally opened and Ethan stood there with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He'd obviously just gotten out of the shower, and her tongue tingled wanting to lick the droplets of water clinging to his smooth skin.

  She couldn't do anything other than stand there with her mouth flapping.

  "You gonna stand there gawking all night, or are you coming in?" he grumped then turned and walked back inside the room leaving the door open.

  Gawking? She was definitely doing that as her eyes feasted on his back muscles and spectacular butt, while he walked to the bed. When he got there he turned around and plopped down to stare at her.

  "Um, I wanted to see if you wanted to go fishing with me?" she asked, because she couldn't very well tackle him on that bed and have her way with him. But damn if she didn't want to do just that. Somehow, she didn't think that would go over very well.

  Taking a couple of steps inside the room, she closed the door behind her and waited for him to respond. When he just kept staring at her she asked again, "Do you want to go fishing?"

  "Do I look like I want to go fishing?" he asked her darkly leaning back on his elbows on the bed, which caused the towel to ride up exposing his upper thighs. His eyes traveled from her eyes, down her neck, across her chest then finally took a slow tour down her legs to her toes, before they raced back up to hers.

  No, you look like the big bad wolf again, she thought swallowing hard to dislodge the knot of desire in her throat. The look he had on his face right now was the same one he wore the night he had kissed her in the whirlpool room. Rocky had wanted to see that look again, just not like this.

  He was angry at Terri and wanted to use her as an outlet for his frustration.

  Her voice shook when she told him, "You look like you could use a distraction, and fishing works as well as anything else."

  "Not quite as well as one particular activity," he drawled, his green eyes sparkling dangerously. "I guess I'll have to settle for fishing though, since I'll be out with you," he added shortly. Rocky was relieved when he pushed up on his elbows to sit again, and the towel covered more of him, but not nearly e
nough.

  "Well, it's a full moon, the fish will be biting," she said with a nervous laugh.

  He snorted then pushed up off the bed to stand. "The mosquitoes probably will too, so if I wind up with West Nile, you're a dead woman," he told her grumpily with one corner of his mouth cocking up to mimic a smile. "I haven't ever fished before, so you'll have to show me how it's done."

  She hadn't ever shared a fishing trip with a man she was interested in, so this would be a new experience for her too. Rocky hoped she didn't regret her decision to start this with him again. From the looks of it, with the mood he was in right now, who knew what would happen if the fish weren't biting. The food she'd managed to eat earlier danced around the butterflies in her stomach and she put a hand there.

  Exactly what she wanted to happen, most likely.

  He raised an eyebrow and extended his hands palm up expectantly.

  "Well?" he asked.

  "Well, what?"

  Had he asked her something and she missed it? Rocky wouldn't doubt that had happened, because she was damned distracted around him. Especially with him half-naked.

  "You want the full monty, or are you going to leave so I can get dressed?"

  "Oh!" she said and spun around to face the door, then jiggled the knob in her shaky hand until she managed to get the door open. "I'll be in the living room," she told him then all but ran down the hall.

  A few minutes later, she was sitting on the sofa by the fireplace when he walked out of the hallway and across the room toward her. He had put on jeans and a white tank top that put the muscles of his chest and arms on prime display. He had a checkered long sleeve shirt draped over his arm. It was then that she realized he wasn't using his crutches anymore.

  With a gasp, she stood and ran over to him. "Oh, my God, Ethan! You're walking!" she yelled then threw her arms around his waist and hugged him.

  His eyebrows raised comically and he sucked in a breath. "Oh, my God, you're hugging me!" He pushed her away then told her, "You better watch it or I might get the idea you like me."

  Her elation at his accomplishment faded and she told him seriously, "I do like you."