Worth the Trouble

by Becky McGraw

  "Something is always going on around here," Ethan shot back. "What's up now?"

  "No, this is bad, Ethan. I didn't tell you when I found out, because I hoped the fire investigator was wrong."

  "Spit it out, dad," he grated.

  Chief Cassidy sat forward and leaned his elbows on the desk, then pinned Ethan with serious eyes. "Someone on this crew tried to kill you the night of that fire. They could have killed us all, including that kid and her father."

  "That's bullshit, Cap, and you know it!" Ethan shouted jumping from his chair to lean on the desk. "These guys are my friends, nobody would try to kill me, that's ridiculous!"

  His dad's eyes shot to the door again, then he hissed, "Sit down, Ethan, and keep your voice down."

  Ethan stared down his dad for a second, then ground out, "Yes, sir," before he dropped back in the chair. Running a hand through his hair, he said, "I'm sorry, Cap."

  "Now, listen to me..." his dad said and leaned closer, his voice getting lower. "When we got on scene, Booker went and made sure the propane line was shut off to the house. The fire investigator found that not only was the valve wide open, the line had been cut. There was propane all over the place out there. That place was in the damned boonies, so there was nobody else out there to do that other than one of our men."

  Ethan snorted, then grumbled. "That's just unbelievable," but he was listening, because his father and the fire investigator were right. Nobody else had been out there that night except the fire crew.

  "I agree, and I didn't want to believe it when he told me either, but there's no other explanation. That's what caused the explosion, son. The timing of the explosion was just too coincidental for it not to be you they were trying to hurt. You were the only one left on the roof. I also told the investigator about the other close calls you've had recently, the respirator malfunction, broken axe incident. He thinks they might be related."

  "Why me?" Ethan asked flipping through the names of all the guys on the crew in his mind, men he had worked with day in and out, lived with while he was on shift. None of them that he could think of would ever do something like that to him. None of them had a reason that he could think of. He got along with them all like they were his brothers.

  "We haven't figured that out yet, but the investigator is talking to everyone who was at the fire that night. He'll need to talk to you too."

  "When?" Ethan asked.

  "I thought you could stay over tonight at the house, and drive your truck back to Amarillo tomorrow. The investigator said he could be here tomorrow morning."

  Ethan had the search and rescue class tomorrow with Rocky at the Ranger post in Lubbock. Since it looked like he wasn't getting the job here, he had to make it.

  "I have something I have to do tomorrow, Cap."

  "Cancel it, this needs to be done, Ethan," his dad told him firmly. "I want this settled before my retirement party on the thirtieth. I'm not leaving this hanging out there for the new Chief. He doesn't need to worry about trusting his men, and you don't need to worry about someone coming after you again."

  Ethan shook his head in disbelief. Half of those guys on the crew he had trained, or helped train. "Unbelievable," he murmured feeling betrayed, totally stunned.

  The tones sounded loudly echoing through the station, signaling a fire call for their battalion. The sweet music of the alarm sent adrenaline rushing through his veins and out of habit, Ethan pushed up out his chair and quickly headed for the door. His dad's hand on his shoulder stopped him, and Ethan nodded then took a step back to let his dad pass through the door.

  Watching his buddies pull on their fire gear and load the engine through the glass window in his dad's office was surreal. Ethan felt lost and out of place, and he needed to face it. This wasn't his life anymore, probably would never be again. Depression slammed into him nearly rocking him on his feet.

  Terri came bouncing down the hallway and Ethan stumbled out of the office to meet her. She smiled brightly and asked him, "You say your hellos?"

  "Didn't have a chance to talk to anyone but dad," he told her morosely.

  "And? Did he talk some sense into you?" she asked putting a hand on her hip.

  "Didn't have to. I don't have a snowball's chance in hell at the Captain's job," Ethan informed her then he added sarcastically, "But you tried to tell me that didn't you?"

  "I thought you might get it, Ethan. That's why I was pissed," she told him with a frustrated huff. "I need you at the ranch."

  "Well I need to be a fireman," he spat, then told her, "But it looks like you got yourself a ranch medic, sis. I don't have any choice, but to take that job now."

  With anger and despair almost choking him, Ethan held onto the wall and walked past her toward the front door. His chest hurt, and he could barely breathe.

  Terri walked beside him and asked, "You ready to head back to the ranch? Joel is having some of the guests up to the house for a special dinner tonight. I need to talk to Penny," she told him impatiently. He went to shove through the firehouse door, but her small hand on his arm stopped him. "Ethan are you okay?"

  "No, I'm not okay, Terri...can you drop me at mom's? I'll drive my truck back to the ranch tomorrow."

  "What happened? You were excited about coming here this morning..." she said and huffed out a breath.

  "It was a mistake," he told her flatly.

  One in a long line of mistakes he'd made since his accident. Believing he could make himself useful again if he worked harder in the gym was his first. That had resulted in the doctor telling him at his appointment that he was pushing his recovery too hard and needed to slow down or he might reinjure himself.

  His second was thinking he could get the Captain's job, which had resulted in him having to accept the fact that he was never going to be a fireman again. Then finding out one of the men he worked with had tried to kill him had about knocked him flat on his face.

  Believing they were his friends had almost cost him his life.

  All big mistakes, but not the biggest.

  His greatest mistake was having sex with Roxanne and not telling her what his plans were before it happened. There was no way the woman could miss the fact that he had been avoiding her since they made love by the lake a week ago.

  He had felt guilty, and he didn't want to face her questions, so he had avoided her like the coward he was. Ethan also knew if he was around her, they would make love again, and he couldn't do that to her, knowing that he might be leaving. Once was bad enough.

  She probably hated him and thought he used her now, which wasn't too far from the truth. He'd been a selfish, self-serving bastard.

  Ethan knew his time had run out, Rocky would demand answers when he got back to the ranch, would have demanded them before he left this morning, if he had stopped by the barn like she'd asked him to. Those answers would probably seal the deal on their fledgling relationship, and he was going to be stuck at the ranch seeing her day in and out, but not being able to touch her again.

  "I don't want to leave you like this, I'm worried about you," Terri replied frowning.

  He shoved through the door into the bright morning light and squinted to find her truck, which was of course parked at the back of the lot.

  "Stop mothering me, Terri. I just want to be left the fuck alone," he ground out and started toward the truck.

  It took him forever to get to the truck, and when finally made it, he felt like the old man that Rocky had teased him about being. Flinging open the truck door, he grabbed the overhead handle to muscle himself up into the cab. With an angry click he put on his seatbelt and folded his arms over his chest, hoping his sister would get the message that he didn't want to be messed with.

  Without a word or glance, Terri opened her door, got behind the wheel then cranked the truck and threw it into drive. She must've gotten the message, because she drove them the short distance to their parent's house, also without a word.

  When the truck stopped at the curb, Ethan didn't wai
t to see if she would start in, he yanked his door handle, punched the seatbelt open, then slid out the truck and slammed the door behind him.

  ***

  As her Grandma Nell used to say, Ethan Cassidy had been as scarce as tits on a boar hog since the night at the lake, which told her everything she needed to know.

  Ethan had used her, Rocky was sure of it now.

  She didn't have any problems seeing things clearly now. The fog of happiness which had dissipated more with each day that passed since she'd seen him had completely cleared today. Watching the dust behind the truck when he and Terri left for his doctor's appointment in Henrietta this morning, she realized what a fool she had been.

  He had fed her a line of bullshit the night at the lake to sleep with her, pure and simple, and she had swallowed it hook, line and sinker, then he had reeled her in. Even the hard to get act was probably calculated to chum the waters to make it happen.

  I won't be doing that anymore, so you don't have to worry about me coming on to you again. If you decide you want me too, you'll have to do the chasing, darlin'.

  Brilliant, she thought, impressed by the level of his smooth talking and treachery. Ashton had nothing on this man, he was a rank amateur. Ethan however was a master at it, and she had definitely been taught a valuable lesson for trusting him. He had conned her so well with his act, followed through so well on his plan, that by the night at the lake she had been determined to have him come hell or high water.

  To think she was afraid she was falling in love with him was just embarrassing now. To think he may have cared about her, even a little, ridiculous. Ethan had gotten what he wanted from her, yet again, and was avoiding her like the plague now because he thought she was going to turn into a clingy emotional woman.

  He obviously didn't know her very well, if that's what he thought.

  That was something he wasn't ever going to have to worry about with her again. He'd be damned lucky if she didn't stake him out on an ant pile and coat his ass in honey. Mental images of doing just that made her smile.

  How's that for clingy?

  She had asked Terri to have him stop by this morning, before they headed out. It wasn't to test him, and it wasn't because she wanted to see him, Rocky needed answers.

  Was he or wasn't he going to be in Lubbock at that class for the rescue team tomorrow? Wes had paid good money to reserve a spot for Ethan in that class, and he was taking up a spot that could have been given to someone more dependable. Those registration fees had come out of the precious donations Wes had raised for the team.

  And she had recommended him.

  Rocky was a big girl, she could handle rejection, even though Ethan's stung a lot. What she couldn't handle was a piss poor excuse for a man who abused a charitable organization and her friends, because he didn't have the balls to tell her he was having regrets and didn't want to see her anymore.

  Ethan Cassidy was a low-life coward.

  If Ethan didn't show up, she would be embarrassed for pushing Wes to include him on the team and in the class. And Wes would be out the registration costs.

  When Ethan got back to the R & R later, he had an ass chewing coming, and she looked forward to giving it to him lock, stock and barrel. If he didn't show up at that class tomorrow, Rocky was going to make damned sure he paid Wes back every penny that class had cost him.

  Rocky slung the feed bucket into the feed bin and slammed the lid shut then stomped down the aisle to the hayloft and scrambled up the stairs. Like a bad video, flashbacks of the night they had spent up there the night of the wedding played through her mind and emotion burned in her chest. Closing her eyes, she sucked in a deep breath, and fought it back, channeling her anger instead.

  Grabbing one of the bales, she pulled the twine and it slid toward her, then she jerked it off the edge and let it fall to the floor below.

  "Whoa there," Dylan said and she looked down to see the bail rested at his feet and would have landed on his head if he hadn't seen it coming.

  "Sorry," she said gruffly, as she climbed down the ladder and jumped to the ground.

  "Who put a burr under your saddle this evening?" he asked with a short bark of laughter.

  "Nobody," she grumped then grabbed the hay bale and picked it up. "Mind your own damned business."

  "This have something to do with Terri's brother?" he followed behind her to ask.

  She stopped in her tracks and spun around on him. "What the hell makes you think that?" she demanded. To her knowledge, nobody knew anything about her and Ethan, except maybe Terri.

  Dylan took the bale from her and started walking toward the first stall at the end of the row. "You think we're blind, Rocky?" he asked her with a snort.

  "Blind?" she repeated dumbly. Fear and embarrassment warred inside of her as she waited for him to respond.

  "I was out with Matt the other morning and saw ya'll come back together with mud all over you, half-dressed, with your fishing poles," he told her and dropped the bale, before turning around to face her. "I think two and two still equal four, sugar."

  "Butt out, Dylan," she said, not bothering to deny it, because his words told her she was busted. "I'm a grown woman, I don't think I have to explain myself to you."

  "You don't," he told her, then grabbed her arm. Turning her toward him, his eyes were serious, a rare event, when he added, "But I'm here if you need an ear, that's all I'm saying. You two have been throwing sparks off of each other like flint on steel since he got here. If he hurt you, I'll kick his ass."

  "If he needs his ass kicked, I'm more than woman to do it. I can take care of myself, Dylan, you know that," she ground out, then softened her voice. "But thank you for caring."

  Gently, she pulled her arm from his grasp then bent to cut the twine on the bale, before pulling out two flakes. She opened the first stall and walked inside, pushed on Diamond's rump to move her aside, then dropped the hay into the hay rack.

  "It's about time you got involved with someone, I just wish it had been someone better than him," Dylan told her, resting his chin on his forearms on the top of the stall door.

  "Butt. Out. Dylan," she repeated a little more firmly, as she walked out of the stall and shut the door, mindless of whether he had stepped back or not.

  His arms dropped to his side, and he took a step closer to her. "He has player written all over him," Dylan told her, then qualified, "And that's coming from a player, so trust me when I tell you it's true."

  "Dylan, I don't need to hear all this...you're not helping things," she told him with frustration building inside of her. "Don't you have chores to do?"

  "Nope, I'm off today. Next guests aren't coming in for two days, and you get them first," he informed.

  "Then go find something to do, other than pester me!" Rocky yelled throwing up her hands.

  "How bout I help you finish, then we can go fishing tonight?" he offered with a twinkle in his eyes. Dylan was her friend, and he knew she loved fishing. Usually that's all it took to cheer her up, and it was obvious that's what he was trying to do.

  Rocky did not want to go fishing, she didn't want to go anywhere near that damned lake, ever again. Unwelcome emotion she wrote off to embarrassment balled up in her chest again then pushed up into her throat. She sucked in another deep breath, because being emotional pissed her off.

  Turning her back on him, Rocky bent down and peeled off two more flakes from the bale and angrily threw them over the second stall door.

  "I've got a class to go to tomorrow," she said over her shoulder. "I want to read the manual tonight so I'm prepared."

  "What kind of class?" he asked following behind her.

  "Equine search and rescue. Wes is forming a team and asked me to join," she told him continuing to put out hay for the horses.

  "Wes Jepson, the vet?" he asked curiously.

  "Yeah, that Wes," she confirmed then brushed her hands when she put hay in the last stall. It was Reed's stall and he neighed a greeting, so she scratched his muzzl
e and he rubbed his face against her hand.

  "Now, that's a good man...you should date him," Dylan told her seriously.

  "Not interested in dating anyone," she replied shortly as she latched the stall.

  It would be a helluva long time before she made the mistake of trusting a man again, any man. They couldn't be trusted, smooth talking or not.

  "Now go away! I've got work to do," she said with a huff as she walked past him down the aisle to get the water hose off the reel.

  "Well, let me know if you change your mind. I have some ex-rodeo buddies who would definitely be interested in meeting you," he said with a chuckle.

  Rocky was at the end of her rope with Dylan, and hanging on by a thread. She was hot, tired and ready for a shower and to find some peace in her room.

  "I'm not interested in being a buckle bunny, either, Dylan!" she ground out, her fists clenched and her body vibrating like a volcano on the verge of an eruption.

  "You'd make a cute buckle bunny," he told her with a grin, but because he was a smart man, he said it over his shoulder as he ran for the barn door.

  Terri stepped around Dylan and looked back over her shoulder at him, before walking into the barn to ask, "What's a buckle bunny?"

  Heat rushed up to Rocky's face and she stammered, "Um, women who, uh, follow the rodeo circuit...rodeo groupies."

  "I see," Terri replied and put her tongue in her cheek.

  "Yeah, definitely not something I want to be. Dylan was just ribbing me," she assured her, then asked, "Trip to Henrietta go okay?" Rocky couldn't control the edge in her voice with her friend. What she really wanted to ask was "Where the hell is your low-life brother?"

  "Not so good, but I'm home now, so I expect things will get better shortly," she said with a chuckle.

  Against her will, concern surged up inside of her. "The doctor's appointment didn't go well?"

  "It's more than that, but I don't have time to talk about it right now. I just stopped by to tell you I realize Ethan didn't stop by here this morning to talk to you, and let you know that I did tell him."

  "Thanks," Rocky replied, then asked as nonchalantly as she could manage, "Where is he? I'll go find him."