Knocking Up His Best Friend

by Kat Baxter

  Mom was gone now though. Cooper was it for me. He was the only family I had. Without him, I’d be all alone.

  I knew myself enough to know that I couldn't handle that. There weren't enough cookies in the world to balance out that kind of heartbreak.

  “Still, I’m not screwing up things like that again. Coop and I will never be more than friends. I adore him, but we just don’t fit that way. He needs Jessica Rabbit, not Thumper from Bambi.”

  Jilly cocked one perfectly sculpted brow. “You do realize Jessica Rabbit isn’t an actual rabbit. Your comparisons don’t work.”

  I snorted. “Actually they do. I’m definitely more animated bunny than I am animated bombshell.”

  Jilly laughed. “You’re adorable and sexy. It’s a combination that most women can’t pull off.”

  I barked out a laugh. “There’s not one sexy part of my body.” Except my underwear but that was always my little secret. “It’s all good. I know my strengths and my weaknesses.”

  “Okay, so don’t sleep with him, though that seems dumb. I’d jump on that ride so fast.”

  I giggled. “Stop it.”

  “You should marry him. It’s the perfect opportunity for you. Get that baby you’ve been wanting. And it’ll help with other stuff too.”

  “What other stuff?”

  Jilly’s breath exhaled slowly. “I was waiting to tell you until we closed tonight because I didn’t want you to stress. But Mr. Murdock came by yesterday after you’d left. He gave us the thirty-day notice that the rent is going up.”

  “Son of a bitch! Again.” I slammed the sugar down on the counter. “He can’t keep doing this. How am I supposed to afford the increase?”

  “You could marry your best friend and move into his house and then you wouldn’t have to rent the crappy apartment you currently pay too much on.”

  “I don’t know. That seems like too much of a sacrifice for him to make. He actually told me he wouldn’t have sex with anyone the whole time we’d be married.”

  “Would you?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Then why is it surprising he wouldn’t do the same thing?” She held up a hand. “You know what, that doesn’t even matter. Why don’t we make a pro/con list.” Jilly walked over to their board and grabbed a marker.

  “You and your lists,” I said. But I appreciated the suggestion. Maybe it would help me untangle my thoughts on all of this. The truth was I didn’t know what to do.

  “Okay, so pro number one is you’d get to have free fertility treatments.” She wrote it down.

  “Living with Cooper would be cheaper than above the bakery,” I added. “Oh and the baby would be on Coop’s insurance even after we divorced.”

  Jilly wrote down everything I said and so far the list was only pros. No cons. She turned to face me. “I think you’ve made your decision, Sweet Cakes.”

  Holy shit. I was going to marry Cooper.

  Chapter 7

  Somehow the last week had flown by in a flurry of activity. Ally had eventually decided we should get married. And today was my wedding day. Our wedding day.

  A day I never expected to have. Definitely not one I ever planned. But here it was and I was just waiting on my bride. I shook my hands out in front of me to try to get rid of some of the nerves.

  “She’ll be here, man,” Jackson said with a smack on my back.

  “I’m not worried.” At least not about that. I knew Ally would show. I was just nervous. Which was fucked up because it was just Ally. We’d always come as a pair. This marriage made sense. She’d get what she wanted—a baby.

  And I’d be able to give it to her without giving her money which really pissed her off. I had no use for my parents’ money. I made plenty of my own. I’d rather her have it. But she’d always been so damned adamant about not accepting handouts. Whatever. But with this, I could actually help her, which is all I really wanted to do. Because, yeah, I loved her.

  Just then the elevator doors opened and out walked Jilly followed by Ally.

  I sucked in a breath at the sight of her. She wore a dress, but it wasn’t a standard wedding dress. No, this was pure Ally. It was one of those retro dresses that looked like it would fit in Grease. The pale pink skirt was wide and fell just below her knees. The top part molded to her curves accenting her tits in a way that made it hard for me to look anywhere else. I tried to feel guilty about that, but it was obvious this dress invited you to look.

  Her warm brown hair was pulled up in some kind of fancy ponytail and she had a clip thing on her head that put a short veil over her eyes. She was beautiful. Stunning. My heart pounded and my dick shifted. Neither of those two stupid bastards realized this wasn’t real. Fuck.

  She smiled shyly when she stopped in front of me. Then her eyes went wide. “Oh God, I look like an idiot.”

  “What? No, you don’t. You look breathtaking. Perfect.” I smiled and reached out to her with the bouquet.

  She looked down at the flowers and frowned.

  “Every bride needs a bouquet,” I told her.

  Her blue eyes sparkled and she smiled. So damn pretty.

  “Ally, you look gorgeous,” Jackson said as he pulled her into a hug.

  “Thanks, Jackson.”

  He released her then grabbed Jilly. “There’s my sex kitten. When are you going to come to your senses and run away with me?”

  Jilly’s husky laughed echoed in the courthouse hall. “You’re a ridiculous man. And you couldn’t handle me.”

  “Name the time and place, babe, and I’ll handle you all night long.”

  “Get a room,” I said.

  “I’m trying,” Jackson said.

  “You nervous?” Ally whispered.

  “Some.” Insurance fraud wasn’t a minor thing and I figured that’s probably why I was feeling so jittery. We had to make this look real.

  “I’ll take pictures to commemorate,” Jackson said.

  “Right.” I nodded.

  Ally paced and I caught her mid-stride, linking our fingers and pulling her closer. I needed to be strong for her.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, worry etched on her pretty face.

  “Allycat.” I pressed our foreheads together. “You’re my best friend. You always will be and you’d do anything for me. Let me do this for you.”

  She swallowed visibly, then nodded.

  “Besides, I’m excited about making a baby with you. I wouldn’t want to do that with anyone else.” I realized in that moment that that was the absolute truth. I’d never really pictured myself as a dad, but with Ally I could see us raising a kiddo together. The image shot a pang of something through my chest. It wasn’t real.

  Not really sure how the logistics would work with us once we were divorced. She’d eventually meet someone. She was a monogamous girl.

  But I’d still get to be the dad and the satisfaction that I’d given her something she desperately wanted.

  “I’m not going to say thank you again.”

  “Good. Because that’s really starting to piss me off.” Then I grinned at her.

  She smiled up at me, her big blue eyes seeming to be bottomless pools today. I looked down at the dress again.

  “You look stunning today.”

  “Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.” She reached up and straightened my tie.

  “So, hey, I’m going to kiss you in there.”

  Her eyes widened. “What?”

  “At the end of the ceremony. You know the kiss the bride part?”

  “Oh, right.” She nodded one too many times.

  Would kissing her remind her we’d made out before? I nearly groaned as the image of her grinding down on me flashed through my mind. So damn hot, but not what I needed to be imagining right now. I squeezed her hand. “We’ve got to make it look real so don’t freeze up on me, okay?”

  “Yeah, of course. We can kiss.”

  I winked at her and then the door to the room opened and we were cal
led inside. We walked in, hands linked, and went straight to the front of the room. The state seal hung on the wall behind where the judge stood reminding me that this was official. It might not be a traditional marriage, but I’d take it seriously.

  The courtroom door opened and an officer stepped out with a clipboard in his hand. “Janns.”

  I grabbed Ally’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “You ready?”

  She nodded and we walked forward. Suddenly, we were standing, hand-in-hand in front of a judge.

  “We need to wait one sec while my clerk comes back,” the judge said. “You kids excited?” he asked me.

  “Very.” I could just barely kiss her. Or maybe that night hadn’t been as hot as I remembered. It’d been a shock and I’d been confused. And so fucking turned on. But when the clerk entered the small courtroom I knew I didn’t have a choice. It would have to be a killer kiss.

  “Cooper Janns?” Mrs. Pendergrass said as she stepped inside. “What on earth?” Then her eyes rounded and a big grin settled on her plump face.

  Lucille Pendergrass was in my mother’s Bridge group which meant that this marriage would not be a secret for long. I hadn’t figured out how to tell my mother, knowing she wouldn’t be pleased, but now I wouldn’t even have to tell her. It was kinda perfect. I gave her a big smile.

  Then the judge started and greeted our group. The vows themselves went by quickly, but I felt each word he said as if they imprinted on my very soul. I’d promised myself that none of this would change things between me and Ally. I realized I might have to work harder to make sure of that.

  My heart clenched. My stomach tightened.

  Ally’s voice was soft, but her impossibly blue eyes locked on mine as she pledged her love and fidelity to only me.

  We exchanged rings and then, “You may kiss your bride.”

  Jackson nudged my elbow.

  “Go ahead, son, kiss your bride,” the judge repeated.

  Ally lifted herself on tiptoe as if to give me a chaste kiss, but I cupped her jaw and slanted my mouth across hers. The first brush of her lips and I was gone. Kissing her was as good as I remembered. Her hands slid up and around my neck and I held her tightly, pressing her soft curves against my body while our tongues slid against each other.

  “Come on, lovers,” Jackson said, emphasizing the last word. “You can start your honeymoon soon.”

  Once they were outside, Jilly quickly pulled me aside.

  “Cooper, you know I like you a lot,” she said. “But if you hurt Ally I’ll skin alive, starting with your penis.”

  I winced. Jilly’s threat was unnecessary. “Damn, Jilly. You know I’d never hurt Ally.”

  “Not on purpose. I do know that.”

  Chapter 8

  Cooper helped me into his car after we’d agreed to meet Jackson and Jilly for drinks to celebrate. But for the moment we were alone.

  My body still hummed with adrenaline and white hot desire. I probably should’ve gone out and gotten laid before all of this, but I didn’t think Coop would prove to be a temptation. Of course I hadn’t anticipated any actual physical contact beyond our usual hugs and his occasional kiss to my cheek or forehead. We were affectionate. We’d been friends since we were kids, but that kiss was so far beyond friendly it bordered on erotic. My panties were soaked and my nipples were still hard.

  I cleared my throat. “That was some kiss. I mean you warned me, but I didn’t think you were going to go for broke so to speak.”

  He chuckled. “Had to make it look real, right?”

  His words kicked at my heart. “Right. Of course.”

  “Especially when Mrs. Pendergrass came in. She plays Bridge with my mom so now I don’t have to worry about telling my mother about the marriage.”

  That’s all the kiss was . . . pretending for the cameras. Pretending so we wouldn’t get arrested for insurance fraud. It had nothing to do with the fact that kissing each other had felt incredibly right and perfect. At least to me. Then again I wasn’t super experienced when it came to men. I’d had a few partners, but what did it say about me that the single best kiss of my life had been with my best friend at our fake wedding. For our fake marriage. Fake. Fake. Fake.

  I let out a breath.

  “Hey, you ok?” he asked. His hand reached over and linked with mine, giving it a squeeze.

  “Yeah, just tired. Did I tell you about Mr. Murdock raising the rent on me again?”

  “No. What a cheap bastard. Marrying me is good timing then. At least you don’t have to keep your apartment. You finished packing yet?”

  “Almost.” No, not even a little. In truth, I hadn’t even started packing. Why was I lying to him? Why was I being weird? It was just a kiss.

  He pulled his Tesla up to the curb and parked. “Happy wedding day, Mrs. Janns,” he said with a wink.

  I snorted. Legit snorted. “Yeah. Happy wedding day, Mr. Janns.” God, this was strange.

  “It’s weird, isn’t it?” he said as if reading my mind.

  “Really weird, actually.”

  “We’ll get over it and then things’ll get back to normal.” His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, then flipped the screen to show me MOM was calling.

  “Wow, that happened fast.”

  He hit ignore then pocketed the phone again. “I’ll talk to her later.”

  “She’s going to be really pissed. She hates me.”

  “She doesn’t hate you.”

  “Coop, be serious. Your mother totally hates me. She calls me Allyson as if somehow in doing so she’ll make me more high class than I am. But adding that extra syllable to my name doesn’t change the fact I’ll always be a T-shirt girl.”

  He rolled his eyes.

  We walked into the bar and found Jackson and Jilly already sitting in a booth at the back. Jilly stood, waving her arms like a lunatic.

  “My mother’s a snob,” he said. “She doesn’t really like me all that much either. And for the record, I prefer T-shirts as well. That’s why we don’t have a strict dress code at our office.”

  He put his hand on the back of my waist, that big strong hand providing constant warmth and just a little pressure. I swallowed a sigh.

  We joined our friends and ordered a round of drinks and appetizers.

  Coop’s phone buzzed again, but this time when he pulled it out of his pocket he turned it off. “She’ll call until I answer so I might as well not have to deal with the vibrations until I’m ready to talk.”

  “Who?” Jilly asked.

  “My mom.”

  “She hates me,” I said.

  “Stop it,” Cooper said. “She doesn’t hate her.”

  Our drinks arrived and Jackson offered up a toast. “To Mr. and Mrs. Janns. May your marriage be filled with love and lots of babies.”

  I glanced at Coop to see if he was rolling his eyes, but instead found him smiling broadly at me. We clinked glasses and I took a hearty sip. This would probably be my last bit of alcohol for a while so I might as well enjoy it.

  “Holy shit that kiss,” Jilly hissed in my ear. “I think my panties are still wet.”

  I barked out a laughed, then leaned to her ear. “I’m going to need to buy a new vibrator. Thankfully, we won’t be doing that everyday or I’d be in trouble.”

  Jilly gave me a look that clearly said ‘I think you’re still in trouble’ but thankfully she didn’t say it out loud.

  “You know I don’t think I’ve ever heard the story of how y’all met,” Jackson said.

  “Who? Us?” I asked.

  “I’ve never heard it either,” Jilly said.

  I opened my mouth to answer, but Cooper started talking first.

  “We were in middle school and she was new in town though I didn’t really know it at the time,” he said. “So I’m at this Halloween party, and I’m dressed as Captain Mal Reynolds,” he says with a booming voice.

  “Because greatest show ever,” I add.

  “True.” He nods. “Anyways, my b
uddies come up to tell me some new kid is there and dressed in the same costume.”

  “Uh-oh,” Jilly says.

  At this point I’m already smiling because I remember that night so vividly how our mutual love of Firefly brought us together.

  “Well, I get pissed because how dare anyone else think they can pull off Captain Mal,” Coop continues. “I get up and head over to this kid with every intention of ripping him a new one. But then she looked up at me with these giant blue eyes. Bluer than I’d ever seen on anyone and I was a goner.”

  My breath caught and for a moment the bar seemed to disappear as we stared at each other. I, of course, knew the story, but had never heard him tell it. I could still clearly see Cooper, as the thin scrawny twelve year old, all arms and legs and awkward smiles. Despite my pounding heart, I knew the truth of the matter—he might’ve been pissed but when he got over to me and saw that I was nothing more than a puny girl, he’d gone easy on me.

  “Y’all are adorable,” Jilly said.

  “Geeks, but adorable,” Jackson added.

  “If geeks means we can recognize at such a young age a superior TV show, then yes, I’ll own the geek label,” Coop said.

  The rest of the evening passed with more drinks and so many appetizers my stomach ached. But this, this was precisely how I would want to spend my wedding day; with just these few people whom I loved. We eventually said our goodbyes and when I stood up, I realized how much I’d had to drink. I grabbed onto the table to steady myself.

  Cooper’s hands came to my hips. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Guess my tolerance is down.”

  He chuckled, his warm breath blowing across my neck. “You’ve never had a tolerance to begin with. You’ve always been a lightweight. Good thing I’m driving.”

  “You just had the one beer?” I asked.