Caden's Dilemma (Indiscreet #6)

by A. C. Katt

  “Would you have refused him if you were the one with the money?” Gary asked angrily. “I had trouble with Danny in the beginning. We had our first major fight over a suit. He refused to take it and I insisted. I asked him then just as I’m asking you now, how would he feel if I refused a gift from him because of my stupid pride? He couldn’t answer me because he knew I was right. You can stay here until you get back your goddamned heat but don’t bother my Danny with your pigheaded shit. He doesn’t need the heartache, and neither did Masato.”

  § § §

  Sunday

  Once apprised of the situation with Masato, Bear had someone come in and replace the furnace on Saturday and paid the plumber overtime. Caden tried to pay him for the man’s overtime but Bear wouldn’t take the money. When he attempted to insist, Bear bellowed, “You’ve already been an asshole once this weekend, let’s not try for twice.”

  Caden sat alone in his house on Sunday second guessing himself. He was a Dom, he had to be the one in charge. What does money have to do with being in charge? He would have given the burden of it all to you. He begged you to listen to him, to help him.

  It was time he got up off his ass and got something done. He decided to go into work. The first person he saw when he arrived was Jim. He said ‘hi’, expecting Jim’s usual effusive greeting. What he got was a glimpse of Jim’s back and total silence.

  Bull was up in his office. Caden stopped by. “It looks like you’re a bigger asshole than I was.” Bull was really mad. “At least I had a reason, you’ve got nothing but butt-headed pride. My Jamie spent last night crying on the phone with Masato after Danny called him. No one gets to make my Jamie cry anymore. Not even me. Get out of my office before I throw you out.”

  Nice to know where I stand, but all of this will blow over, surely. Johnny will find someone else and everything will be fine. But will it be fine for me?

  He headed over to Reed’s office with some checks for him to sign for the security upgrades. Reed sat at his desk.

  “Don’t sit down. I see that you have the same propensity for wrong headedness as the rest of us former assholes. The only one who never fucked it up was Bear. He’s the only one with any sense in this place. I warned you that there was an impediment and told you to wait. You couldn’t wait and you hurt that poor boy very badly. My Jim spent all day yesterday trying to comfort the subs and get Johnny to let them see him. I don’t like it when Jim is upset. You need to see Greg to get your head on straight. That is, if he’ll talk to you after this mess. Cisco hates it when Greg gets involved in these dramas and this drama wasn’t caused by the subs. It was caused by you because you couldn’t keep it in your pants long enough to find out what was really going on. I’ll sign your checks, leave them on my desk, but you better avoid all of us for a while. You did a very bad thing. You told that boy you loved him and then you walked out.”

  Caden leaned against the door and tried to defend himself. “I didn’t know about the money when I told him I loved him.”

  “Okay, smartass, what is different about Johnny today as opposed to Friday afternoon? He’s still the same loving man who needs a Master. He wasn’t wrong to hide his money. It was my suggestion and I’ll bet he didn’t even tell you that in his own defense. I know every one of the Doms here. They all passed in-depth security checks, but what would some of them do for a billion dollars? They’d chew that boy up and hang him out to dry leaving him with nothing, that’s what. I knew. When I saw it was you who caught his interest; I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew you wouldn’t want him for his money. Little did I know that you’d turn out to be an asshole of a different variety.”

  Reed stood and poured himself a drink. Caden thought he would offer him one. He didn’t.

  “Go get some help and until you do, leave the boys here alone, not only the sub club, but all of them. They don’t need your shit and I don’t need people resigning from this club or leaving their job because of your stupidity.”

  He walked back to his office. Everyone, even my baby brother thinks I acted like a jerk. Am I wrong? Maybe I do need to see Greg.

  Caden picked up his cell phone and called Cisco. Cisco answered the phone. “What, now you want to cause trouble in my house? It was bad enough with Bull, but I’m not letting Greg go through this again.”

  “Cisco, please listen. I’d like to see Greg professionally. Maybe I was wrong and I just can’t see it.” Caden rubbed his head. He had the mother of all headaches.

  “I’ll ask Greg if he can fit you in next week. But if he doesn’t want to see you, you go elsewhere and don’t bother him. He’s very upset about Masato. Masato has never been anything but kind and helpful to anyone at the club. He was a bit reserved but it looks like he had just cause. After he told you his story you were able to walk away? How cold and unfeeling are you? Did that damn war take all of the human being out of you and leave a nasty shell? I can’t do this anymore. If Greg has an opening and agrees to see you, he’ll call.” Cisco hung up without saying goodbye.

  Well, that’s all of them. They all think you’re an ass. Maybe you are. Maybe you can get him back. Mother fucker, how dumb can you possibly be, why would he take you back after all of this? Caden put his head down on his desk and did something he hadn’t done since he was ten just before Danny was born. Caden cried.

  Wiping his eyes he determined that he would do everything possible to put things right. Even if it meant he had to leave the area. He couldn’t cause Johnny or himself any more pain. He’d wait and see how Johnny was; he couldn’t go until he knew Johnny was okay. He was as bad as the money grubbers: he treated Johnny badly because of his money. It didn’t matter that he didn’t want it and the others did, the result was the same, a beautiful soul was damaged because of his stupidity. He’d do anything to be able to rewind to Friday night and act differently.

  § § §

  “Mrs. Mills, this is Jim Menetti, from Indiscreet, we met the other day.” Jim warmed his cup. “You know the subs meet every Monday at my house. No, I’m not the one with the dumb dog, that’s Brian. I know that Johnny isn’t feeling that great so I thought we could meet at his house on Monday to show him our support. I’ll bring the tea and baked goods, you don’t have to do a thing.” Jim listened. “If you insist, you do make lovely banana bread. Just make sure he stays put. We’ll all be there at ten.” Jim poured his tea. “Yes, there are five of us, Johnny makes six.” Jim took a sip.

  “No, we wouldn’t do such a thing to him. Caden is not coming with us. No one is talking to him right now aside from work.” Jim put down his cup.

  “I don’t know if he’s sorry or not but I sure know he’s going to be if we have anything to say about it. Do you think Johnny still cares about Caden? You do? Don’t worry, we’ll take care of it. We have experience in recalcitrant males.” Jim got up and threw out his tea; he felt like having a scotch, although he knew it wasn’t on his approved menu.

  “You make sure he’s there on Monday. At ten, yes. Okay, we’ll be there. We can’t wait to see you again.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Monday

  “Hi, Johnny,” Jim said as Brian and the rest all plowed in behind him. “Mrs. Mills knew we were coming.”

  “I was going to work today,” Johnny said. He was dressed in a T-shirt, jeans and sneakers.

  “You have enough money, you don’t need to work right now. You’ll lose yourself in it and never come up for air again.” Brian grabbed Johnny by the arm. “Show us the kitchen, we’ll make the tea.” Jim grabbed all the baked goods and headed back to the kitchen, following where Johnny led.

  “On second thought, let Jim make the tea. Why don’t you show the rest of us the house?” Brian chimed in. “Danny and I both live in old Victorians although Bear’s was once a farmhouse. Greg has a modern ranch, Jim an old Sears Craftsman and Jamie an older ranch that Bull redid by himself. Bear and I just remodeled the upstairs, it’s neat to look at someone’s else’s house.” Brian left the kitchen and John
ny had no choice but to follow.

  “I don’t know why you guys came over. I’m not in the club, I don’t have a Master.”

  “Idiot.” Brian smacked him aside the head. “You don’t need to have a Master to be our friend. We’re here for you, not for your Master or lack thereof.”

  “Jesus Brian, that hurt.” Johnny rubbed his head.

  “That’s what you get for being an idiot. Now show me this house.”

  The last place Johnny took them to was the library. Brian went over to the chimney. “I’ve got a feeling…”

  Greg stuck his head out the door and shouted to the kitchen “Jim, you better get out here. Brian has a feeling.”

  “What are you talking about?” Johnny asked.

  “Brian has a touch of precog. Every time he gets a feeling it’s bad news,” Greg said.

  “But you’re a doctor, you can’t believe in that stuff.” Johnny looked at Greg perplexed.

  “I may be a doctor, but every time Brian has a feeling something happens. I’ve learned not to be so skeptical. Even Cisco believes in Brian’s feelings.”

  “Yeah,” said Jamie. “Brian has weird Spidey senses.”

  “Let’s go have our tea.” Brian walked toward Jim’s voice.

  “What about your feeling?” Johnny giggled a bit. Brian thought that was a good sign he could still laugh.

  “How long has it been since the chimneys were cleaned?” Brian asked as they all walked into the kitchen.

  “Mrs. Mills, have we had anyone in to clean the chimneys?” Johnny asked as he sat down at the table.

  “Not for quite a few years. You don’t use the fireplace much.” Mrs. Mills unwrapped Jim’s scones, Danny’s coffee cake and Greg’s muffins. “I see I didn’t have to make banana bread after all. Now you boys seem to have everything well in hand, so I’ll go downstairs and sort the wash. Monday is laundry day.”

  “But you used the fireplace the other night,” Brian insisted.

  “How do you know?” Johnny sat down at the table the other boys followed suit.

  “I smell a faint air of smoke. Get the chimneys cleaned tomorrow.” Brian sat down next to Johnny.

  “So to change the subject, why are you guys here? It’s certainly not to tell me about my chimneys, and it seems I’m not someone you can throw at anyone. I have too many impediments,” Johnny said bitterly.

  “He’s an asshole and he already regrets what he did.” Danny got up and sliced his cake and Mrs. Mill’s banana bread.

  “How do you know that?” Johnny’s voice cracked. He looked down at the table but Brian could see the tears forming on his cheeks. Maybe it wasn’t too late after all.

  “Because he’s going to see Greg. Gary and I have thought for a long time that he suffers from PTSD. You should have seen what Gary and I had to do to get him to take the two thousand he needed for a car.” Danny put the sliced cake and bread on the table and sat next to Jamie.

  “Yet he had enough to join Indiscreet,” Johnny said acerbically, taking a sip of his favorite blossom tea.

  “That was something he promised himself while he was over there fighting. There was a time when my parents didn’t hear from him for a while. It was just before they threw me out and he came home for my graduation. I think he was hurt. He promised himself a membership, if he survived. He never talked about it but he never let me see him without his shirt either,” Danny said without drama.

  “He was hurt. I saw his shoulder, it looked pretty bad. He said it was shrapnel and there was an older wound on his thigh he told me came from a sniper.” Johnny watched Danny’s face turn white. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. You guys kept my secrets and I couldn’t even keep Caden’s for two days. No wonder he doesn’t want me.” Brian gave Johnny a hug.

  “It’s going to be all right. I promise.” Brian picked up a piece of Danny’s coffee cake.

  “How can you promise me that? He walked out of here on Friday night calling me a liar and worse. I shouldn’t even care what he thinks or does next. Why bother telling me he’s going to therapy? I mean nothing to him.” Brian reached into the vee of Johnny’s T-shirt.

  “And he means nothing to you?” Brian pulled out the dog tags.

  “He told me to get rid of them, I couldn’t give them up.” Johnny’s eyes finally overflowed.

  “So this isn’t such a hopeless case.” Brian put the tags back under Johnny’s T-shirt and gave him a hug.

  Johnny turned red. “I’m not used to all this hugging and stuff. I came from a very undemonstrative family. We weren’t physical at all. I had two Asian grandparents, one Vietnamese grandfather on my father’s side and a Japanese one on my mother’s. Asians, in my experience, aren’t very cuddly.”

  “Yet you crave touch,” Greg said, quietly.

  “I guess I do.” Johnny hung his head.

  “And not just any touch, one particular person’s touch, right?” Brian pushed as he poured himself a cup of the blossom tea.

  “You don’t have to drag me over broken glass to get me to admit I love him. I told him that on Friday night.”

  “What if he asked to come see you, would you let him?” Brian asked, taking Johnny’s hand.

  Johnny shook his hand loose. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can stand that kind of hurt again. He said some hateful things.”

  “I think he was taken by an unpleasant surprise. He’s not my patient until this afternoon so this is basically the last thing I can say. Caden sees himself as a savior.”

  “Religiously?” asked Brian. “Because if that’s the case, we go home and Johnny says good riddance.” Brian turned a laser focus on Greg.

  “No, he wants to be the one who does the giving. He’s never learned how to take because he’s been giving all his life. Even to you, Danny, before you had Gary, didn’t he come running home taking all his accumulated leave because you called and said you had a Master? He wanted to make sure you were safe.”

  “What has that got to do with me?” Johnny asked, looking around the table.

  “He doesn’t realize he has things that you need. He doesn’t think you need him.”

  Johnny threw his hands up in the air.“I tried to tell him that but he wouldn’t listen. I need help to give this money away properly.”

  Greg tried to give Johnny an explanation. “You don’t need to give all of your money away, not even half of it. Do what you want for charity but let him help you.”

  “That’s just the point, I need someone to help me, I can’t do this. I can barely keep this house together despite all the money. I can’t expect Aubrey and Mrs. Mills to know when to get the chimneys cleaned. I need a Master’s direction, his strength. I’ve been strong for so long, I feel like I’m drowning.” Johnny hung his head. “So many people have much worse problems than I do, yet I complain. What’s one broken heart compared to a vet who lost his legs or a gay teen out on the street at thirteen? Why can’t I be content with the gifts God gave me instead of wishing for the impossible?”

  The subs watched as he took the medal he bought for Caden and rubbed it between his fingers.

  “Because maybe it’s not so impossible after all—will you put yourself in our hands?” Jim asked in a serious tone of voice.

  “You came when you didn’t have to come. Even when I as much as told you to go away you persisted and I feel better. You guys are the best friends anyone could have. Yes, Jim, I’ll put myself in all of your hands. Right now they are the only hands I trust.” Johnny looked around at the serious faces at the table. “Do what you will.”

  § § §

  “You have some nerve showing your face at this table today.” Bear growled on his third Kona and still not awake as Caden sat down. “And you didn’t bring anything with you.”

  “Yeah, if you weren’t such an ass wipe we would be sitting here eating banana bread, scones, coffee cake and two kinds of muffins but our boys were too busy trying to clean up your mess this weekend to take care of us,” Cisco ba
rked. “I didn’t even get my breakfast this morning. Greg was on the phone, then making muffins, but not for me. I’ll have to either eat here or go to the hospital cafeteria.”

  Reed motioned for a waiter and he went around the table and the Doms placed their orders.

  “All of our subs are in a pissy mood. You damn well better show up for your appointment tomorrow afternoon. Greg cancelled two other appointments to see you,” Cisco grumbled. The waiter brought out a coffee carafe and set cups in front of everyone. “Finally, Bear hogged the Kona.”

  “Greg didn’t have to do that.” Caden was aghast that Greg and Cisco would do something like that for him after what he did to Johnny.

  “Yes he did, despite you being more of an asshole than I was and that’s going some, you’re still Danny’s brother and therefore, family.”

  “I’ll be there, but what do I do in the meantime about my fuckup? How do I get him to talk to me again?” Caden looked at Bear plaintively.

  “You don’t do anything. Let the boys handle it. They’ll know what to do. Just follow their instructions,” Bear told him, pouring himself his fourth cup.

  “It is just as I’ve been saying for the last year, who’s the Dom?” The table broke out into laughter.

  “You’ll get him back if he still wants you, the boys will make sure of it, but if he doesn’t I wouldn’t want to be you.” Reed passed around a plate of hot, buttered toast and three kinds of jam.

  “Where are the eggs?” Cisco looked around for the waiter.

  “You got a taste of the silent treatment yesterday when Jim snubbed you. If our boys knew about this meeting and that you were here today with us, they’d have our balls for breakfast,” Reed said succinctly, summing up the general mood of the table at large.

  “Then why are they helping me?” Caden asked, very confused.

  “Because in order to help Johnny, they have to help you first,” Cisco said, still angry. “Is he bringing the eggs?