Straight, No Chaser: A Mafia Alpha Bad Boy Romance

by Nikki Belaire

  "Okay, thank you." Her head nods. Slow at first, then deep and long with final acceptance. Her movement mimicking her heart, her body softening and the stunning grin glows in full force now. "Thank you so much."

  "The pleasure is all mine."

  And, yours too, very soon baby girl.

  "My Dad's going to be so relieved. He was really upset when he thought I was going to have to drop out of school."

  An impulsive hug stirs my cold heart. More worried about her father than herself. Grateful that he's protected rather than focusing on her own loss. Which shouldn't be a fucking surprise at all to me.

  My arms curl around her, drawing her tighter against my chest. Welcoming the veracity of her touch. The innocence of her emotion that I so rarely experience. I hold her. Longer than necessary. Way beyond awkward. Unwilling to lose her honest affection.

  Soft breath blows against my neck warming my skin. Her long hair rustling against my dress shirt. Her delicate body sheathing mine.

  Like Rachael.

  Too much of a reminder of the mistakes I've made. Too much of a reminder of the monster I really am. That even this innocent angel can't save.

  Suffocating me with her appreciation, I untangle myself from her gentle grip. Her arms flinch from me pushing them down. Embarrassment reddening her fallen face. Which is even worse than her impact on me.

  "I guess I better go call my family." She steps backward, a quick glance before she stares at the carpet again. "Thank you Luciano."

  She scurries away, confusion lining her face. Just like my own fucking fucked up head.

  Damn, I'm such a fucking psycho. I want her so fucking bad. To really love her and let her love me. But I can't. This is for Eli. And easy pussy. That's it. That's all it can ever be.

  5

  Chapter Five

  Eli digs in a box bigger than himself, and I have to drag him out by his calves before he topples inside. "Hold up little man. I'll help you."

  Huge giggles overtake his small body when he twists around with royal blue fabric squashed in his hand. He swings a thong covered with white stars toward Molly. Fuck me if there's even a little red bow right in the middle. A fucking present I'm going to soon unwrap.

  "Your underwear is weird."

  Crimson floods her cheeks, and she grabs the panties from him, shoving them into the front pocket of her black rolling bag. She points to the stack next to her bed. "How about you unpack that box over there?

  "Okay!"

  His face lights up with his new assignment, and he races over and lifts the cardboard flaps. The smile never leaves his face as he unloads books and sets them on her dresser one by one. Clumsy fingers attempting to be careful with Molly's precious stories. Because even my little brother realizes how lucky we are that she's here permanently. Now, I just have to figure out how to get her out of this bedroom and into mine.

  "Thank you again."

  Her delicate hand grasps mine, so small compared to my huge fingers. Another reminder of how different we truly are. Makes me want to fucking protect her that much more. I mean fuck her. My head shakes of its own accord from what a fucking dumb ass I am. All I want is to fuck her. That's it.

  "I don't know how to repay you for all of this."

  Oh baby girl you have no idea what I have in store for you in form of payment. "Nothing to repay."

  "I still don't understand how my landlord could kick me out when I still had six months left on my lease. If you hadn't invited me to stay here, I don't know what I would have done."

  Only a comforting smile to hide my deception. Then I turn back to Eli, who's unloading another container. Talking too much gives away a guilty conscience. Shakespeare got it right. But, then again, if I don't feel remorse, I don't have anything to hide. At least that's the lie I like to kid myself with.

  "Is this Copper?"

  Excitement bubbles in Eli's voice as he holds up a white frame lined with rainbow curly cues.

  "Yes, that's him." She drops down next to him on the floor, and he automatically climbs onto her lap. Nesting into her crossed legs. A perfect symbol for what I'm doing and why. All for him. Well, his heart and my cock, but still. "I'd just brushed him for a competition. That's why his coat is so shiny. See? It's almost orange or copper."

  "Cool!" He studies the image intently and then lays the picture next to them, grabbing a cube covered with photos on each side. Small fingers tap on the glass displaying a group of people at the beach. "Is this your Mom?"

  "Yes, and that's my dad and grandma and grandpa. We were in Florida." She flips the square slowly, letting him inspect each section. "Here we're decorating our Christmas tree from last year, and this one is of us carving pumpkins for the front porch. My family absolutely loves Halloween."

  He nods yet his smile slowly fades. Already realizing what he's missing out on. Stuff we've never done. Fuck. Stuff I never even thought about doing with him. Proof what a fucking failure I am as an impromptu parent.

  Eli untangles himself from her arms and hops up, running into the hallway. "Be right back!"

  Confusion lines her face matching mine. He didn't seem upset, but I'm genuinely surprised he would willingly leave the comfort of her embrace. I know I never fucking would.

  A thick blue book decorated with a large white "E" fills his arms as he jogs back in and plops down in her lap. They both have to lean back for him to be able to get the cover open. His smile returns, and he points to a baby swaddled in a woman's arms. "That's me and my Mom."

  Pure love brightens Harper's face, my fourth fucking step mother. Which is so fucking twisted because at twenty-seven she was five years younger than me. But for all her faults, she really did love her son. And fought hard to keep her marriage intact despite my bastard father's wandering eye. To the point her devotion ended up killing them both.

  "She's so beautiful Eli."

  My little brother beams with pride and flips to another page. Icing and love covering him at his first birthday party.

  "Looks like you really enjoyed your cake."

  "I did!" His cowlick bobs from the fierce nodding of his head. "That's my Dad."

  "Oh, he's very handsome." She kisses his cheek. "You look just like him."

  He wipes off her affection with exaggerated force, but I can tell from his straighter posture he's pleased. I guess every young boy wants to be like his Dad. Before he finds out the truth of what an asshole he really is. Hopefully Eli only inherited his looks. Not his shit ass selfishness.

  "They died in a car crash." His gaze remains on the images. The pain of his reality never able to completely fade. "They were going on vacation just the two of them. Mommy said then Daddy wouldn't be mad at her any more. That's why I couldn't go with them."

  Hurt flames in his voice matching the rage boiling in me. What the fuck? Why the fuck would Harper tell him something like that? Not that it wasn't true. She thought a surprise trip to celebrate his sixtieth birthday would somehow rekindle the spark my father smothered.

  I roll my eyes. Sure, because endless sex for a week would keep him in their bed and not his latest fuck buddy's. Never understanding it was the thrill of the chase for him. Harper gave him everything he said he wanted. Wedding ring, baby, and domesticity. Which she discovered much too late that was actually everything the old man despised.

  Molly's at a loss for words too. None can console a child who thought his parents were going to have fun without him and ended up losing so much more than just a trip to the Bahamas.

  This time she kisses the top of his head, and he doesn't shy away. Soaking in her gentle affection. He closes the album and shoves the book off his legs. Can't blame the kid for being bitter.

  "Look at this one." Molly points to another frame poking out of the box. "That's when my sister won Miss Sweet Corn Festival."

  Mercifully, the tension passes with her redirection, and Eli holds his belly as he laughs hysterically. "Sweet Corn Festival? What's that?"

  Her giggle matches his. "I
know it sounds weird, but it's a summer celebration. They have food booths and rides, and bands play so you can dance outside on the square. All kinds of different stuff. It's really fun."

  "Wow! Can we go sometime?"

  Uncertain blue eyes meet mine. Checking before she answers. But I can tell by the anticipation on her face she wants to take him. Hopes I say yes.

  Now Eli's staring at me too. Fuck me. How can I say no to both of them? Even though I don't have time for a trip to some backwoods town in the middle of nowhere. "When is this thing?"

  He starts clapping from my question. Little butt already assumes I'm going to say yes. He knows me too damn well.

  "It's always the weekend closest to the fourth of July."

  Less than two weeks away. Perfect. She can introduce her parents to her new fiancé rather than her boss. And we can enjoy a nice little vacation. Like real families do. I wink at her before exaggerating a shrug of my shoulders. "I don't know Eli. I've got to work and you guys have summer school..."

  "Please? Please? Pretty please?"

  He grips my pants leg, shaking the fabric with enough force to make the change in my pocket clank against my switchblade. "Well, I guess so."

  "Yay! Yay! Yay!"

  Dancing around in celebration, he jostles the neat piles they've made. Novels and notebooks tumbling to the floor. Ever calm, Molly just laughs and helps him scoop them up and stack them on the small bookcase in the corner.

  "Can we ride horses to the festival?"

  "No, but we should have plenty of time to go horseback riding and go to the festival."

  "Can we sleep in the barn?"

  "Will we get to see the ocean?"

  Her patience never wanes from his deluge of questions. Following her around as she empties her suitcase, moving back and forth from the bathroom, putting away her belongings. Each hair brush and bottle of lotion solidifying her commitment to remaining here. So fucking perfect.

  I let out a deep breath and swipe the collage square off the carpet, flipping it around. Water skiing at some lake, wedding reception, dying Easter eggs. All the special events families share. Memories that need fill the rest of the pages of his almost empty baby book.

  My head lifts from her exuberant praise of Eli, lining up her shoes in a surprisingly straight line on the bottom of her walk in closet. He deserves so much more than I ever had. A real mom and dad. Who are there for you. Mentally and physically.

  And I'm going to be damn sure she and I give it to him.

  The phone buzzing in my jacket pocket pulls me out of my thoughts. The first time in months that I'd rather be at home than work. In this boring unpacking session that brings me more peace than my lame ass ever thought possible. Rather than confronting the motherfucking bastard stupid enough to try and encroach on my territory. "Sorry, but I've got to go out for a while."

  Eli doesn't look over from his goal, jumping up to try and reach the hangers just beyond his fingertips. But, a contented smile lifts her cheeks and she gives me a small wave from under the stack of dresses loaded in her arms. "Go ahead. We'll be fine."

  Yeah, we definitely will be. Now that she's here.

  6

  Chapter Six

  I suck the last drops from the rim. Not wanting to waste even a single taste because I need to be so fucking drunk. Maybe I already am. Who the fuck knows.

  Looking through the bottom of the empty cup for the sixth time tonight. Maybe seventh. I lost count after the heavy bottle slid from my limp hand. The prismed glass too thick to break after slamming onto the ground. Yet, unable to prevent the amber liquid from splashing like a tidal wave and pouring out of the neck. Pooling on the beige carpet. Contrasting as sharp as a basalt basin nestled deep in the arid desert.

  Nothing left for me to drink. Nothing left for me to do. Even revenge against the Russians doesn't ease the guilt. Killing four of Annikov's lieutenants doesn't bring back my guys. Runners. Two brothers trying to make a name for themselves. Damn them for being so young and dumb and arrogant. So fucking stupid not to realize the ambush before it was too late. Too foolish to understand how much their loss hurts. Which their mother made abundantly clear, her palm burning across my captain's cheek before she crumpled to the floor. Our promise to always take care of her and make the murderers pay meaning nothing to her without her sons.

  Thank fucking god warmth floods my body, loosening my muscles even more. Enticing me into the darkness tugging at my conscience. Where nothing else exists. Nothing else matters. I can't even keep my fucking eyes open lest I catch a glimpse of my asshole self.

  A warm hand strokes my over my cheek.

  "Luciano? Are you okay?"

  Angel.

  My angel.

  She's come to save me. I lift my bobbing head, massaging the crick in my neck, and blink, trying to bring her into focus despite the dimness. Even blurry she's so fucking beautiful. White light flickers on her gorgeous face from the laptop on her arm, while she balances a stack of papers and books in the other. Her hair twisted in a messy knot on the top of her head. Forehead lined with uncertainty.

  I lick my lips, and swallow hard, unable to spit out the cotton lining my mouth. I wonder what she's working on.

  Her face brightens a bit and she says lots of words. I can only catch some of them but they sound good. Application. Recommended. Prestigious internship. Research. The kids.

  That's who she loves. The kids. And Eli. Probably Ty. But not me. Never me. No one can ever fucking love me. Because I'm a fucking killer.

  The table fills with her supplies. Neatly organized in front of me. She's so nice and smart. She comes close again. Her sweet lips by my ear.

  "Let me help you to bed."

  I try to keep from laughing when she tugs my arm, straining to pull me to my feet. So fucking tiny and she wants to fucking carry me. Take care of me.

  No one ever wants to take care of me.

  We're falling. My shoulder slams into something hard, but she's so fucking soft against my chest. Her delicate hands cup my cheeks, trying to talk to me. Make me move. But I don't want to move. I want to stay just like this. I need to fuck her so bad.

  Her head shakes. She looks scared. Disappointed. Worried. I like her worrying about me. I think.

  I push off the wall and more junk falls on the floor. Why the fuck do we have so much shit in here? Her arms slide around my waist and we walk. I suck in a deep breath. She smells so fucking good. Like cookies and sunshine and innocence.

  My bed. She looks so fragile crawling across my enormous mattress, yanking down the comforter and tossing some of the pillows onto the chair. Her small smile is sad. I don't like it. I don't like it one fucking bit.

  She shoves me down on the bed but I can't lay down. I have to tell her I don't want her to ever be fucking sad. I grab her tiny waist and force her to stand between my legs. God she's so fucking amazing. Her narrow shoulders tremble under my huge hands. Enormous looking, stroking above her slender clavicle that I could crush just by squeezing a little bit. But I won't. I don't want to do that. I want to love her and make that gorgeous smile light up her face again.

  She stares right into my eyes. Studying me so intently it hurts to look at her. To have her see what a worthless bastard I am.

  Her pink lips move. I don't know what the fuck she's saying. I just have to taste her. I have to know what her mouth feels like on mine. I cup the back of her head. The haphazard little bun falls apart as I thread my fingers through her silky blond hair and draw her to me.

  Wide eyes flame with uncertainty. I swear to God I'll stop if she pushes me away. Please fucking god don't let her push me away.

  Fuck me if her lips don't part for me. I plunge inside tasting her sweet essence. Delving deeper from her moan, her tongue rubbing against mine as her fingers twist the fabric of my shirt. My hands glide up her toned thighs, the muscles twitching as I lift her skirt and tug at the silk strings curling around her hips. Caressing over the bones that straddle the heaven I want to
touch. Possess. Worship.

  She flinches, pulling away. "No, Luciano."

  Panic seeps through her voice, gutting me to my core. I instantly drop my arms. As fucked up as I am, I could never hurt her. Never make her fear me. That's the last fucking thing I would ever want.

  Pity replaces the anxiety darkening her stunning face. I let her push me down. Put covers on me. I don't want her to leave. I don't want to be alone. Somehow she must know. My angel understands what I need. Pink tipped fingers poke my bicep, encouraging me to lay on my side. I almost fucking explode from her sliding in behind me.

  Hesitant at first, her body remains rigid. Don't worry. Don't be afraid. Don't run away. I won't do anything. I fucking swear.

  Finally, she softens. Her hand even slides around my waist. Jerking back like she's been burned when she brushes against my throbbing cock straining against my pants. That's because of her. Only for her now. Even if she doesn't want me. I don't think I could fuck anyone else but her. I love her. No fucking lie. I love her.

  "Shhh. Go to sleep now."

  That's the last fucking thing I want to do with her delicate body curled against mine. I force myself not to roll over from her whisper. Not sure if I could. Even though I want to touch her more than I've ever wanted anything. Even more than my father being alive. I want to be like this every night. I need to make her promise she'll always be in my bed every night. Just mine. Me and her. Like this. Give me the chance to prove how good I can be to her.

  "Okay, I promise."

  Delicate fingers entwine with mine, and the peace that's been eluding me for two long ass years finally settles in my soul. I let the darkness overcome me so I can enjoy the unfamiliar sensation before it's gone.

  7

  Chapter Seven

  She's gone.

  I know it before I even open my eyes or wince from the rolling of my stomach and the pounding in my head. But it's my fucking pussy ass heart that hurts the most. She saw me. The real me. Weak. Broken. Lost.