Know Your Why

by Ken Costa

  One small comment to encourage a young man, and a seed was sown. My prayer is that we, too, might have the courage to sow small seeds. We will be amazed at what great works God can grow out of the smallest ideas and dreams.

  FOUR

  CALLED TO WAIT

  LIFE HAS SEASONS. FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE BIBLE IN Genesis 1, we see the Creator God at work: “Separate Day from Night. Mark seasons and days and years” (v. 14 THE MESSAGE). Each of these seasons has a different character. In a rapidly changing world, we all face new seasons in our lives, some we choose and others that are forced upon us: one stage of life ends for another to begin; new career challenges lead to different jobs; new opportunities change our ways of living.

  There are times when we are called to prepare for these new seasons. This is the game before the game. It is as if we are in training but the game schedule is not yet out and we don’t know the date or the time of the match. This game before the game is an essential part of our calling as Christians. It is often a neglected time of preparation, which should be taken much more seriously by those who want to be ready and equipped—mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally—to take on the next task or calling.

  How then do we prepare ourselves? Discovering a calling is not like doing a Google search; it does not happen in an instant. We need to be intentional about taking action rather than just waiting for our callings to drop into our laps.

  TIME IN THE WAITING ROOM

  You probably know the feeling: Your mind begins to wander away from the familiar place where you have been working when a new and unexpected opportunity develops an increasingly strong life of its own as the idea grows. But somehow you know that you have to wait to see whether this is a real, new calling or just a scratchy reaction to tiresome people and seemingly endless problems at work. Waiting is bad enough for an activist. Waiting patiently is nigh impossible! But that is what the psalmist said repeatedly: “I waited patiently for the LORD” (Psalm 40:1). Waiting is a part of the spiritual discipline essential to everyone who is following Jesus. But then, significantly, the psalmist added, “he turned to me and heard my cry.” I have found the first part—waiting—almost unbearable at times. Yet when I have clung to that second half of the promise, I have not been disappointed.

  What do you do in the waiting room? Fill in the doctor’s forms, give your history, and then wait to be called while flicking through last month’s magazines. Every now and then you pop up to see whether you have slipped off the list or how long it will take for the doctor to see you.

  Waiting is so very hard. But unlike the doctor’s waiting room, God’s waiting rooms are part of the consultation. It matters to him that we are prepared before we hear from him. Taking time to get ready is therefore not an annoying interlude but an essential ingredient and part of his equipping.

  We begin to dream of what might be. We have a sense that the ties to our current circumstances are being loosened and something different is beginning. God allows conviction to grow out of our initial dreams and impressions, but this takes time. Waiting is a kind of spiritual workshop. But how do we deal with this maddening delay? What do we do when we can’t do anything? And how do we keep the dream alive when we can’t yet live the dream?

  When we are stressed because we cannot lay hold of what we really want, it is easy to start comparing ourselves with others who appear to be flourishing in their dreams. And this only fuels our desire for something to happen and reminds us of what could be but isn’t yet—or worse, might not ever be. In these times, we have a tendency to believe that nothing good will come from this experience of waiting. But this is the most valuable time of our lives in Christ: when he draws near and works with us to align our wills to his purpose. This season enables us to respond to his call for the next phase of our lives. There is excitement in this time if we have the right attitude and if we can embrace rather than resist the challenges of the season.

  It can be painful maintaining this holding pattern. It is bad enough in a stack above Heathrow Airport, circling the runway, waiting for a slot to free up in order to land. It seems so pointless. But we don’t always see the big picture. By our judgment, we should land. But air traffic control sees the bigger picture, and not just one airplane full of frustrated passengers. Other factors must be considered to get the right timing for the landing: other planes might have first priority and runways have to be available. We do not see the context surrounding our individual circumstances. We are required to trust Jesus for the timing.

  God has bound himself to act within the framework of time. When he acted in creation, he did so consciously—limiting eternity to the restrictions of a time-based world. Time unfolds according to his will, and, as has often been observed, he is seldom early but never late. So waiting is programmed into the very operation system of God’s plan for humanity. And our comfort is that we cannot beat him by bringing into existence a change of circumstance of our own. We are often tempted to try and do more than we are called to do, but we cannot do more than he has planned for us.

  Abraham waited twenty-five years for his life’s calling to be fulfilled. Moses waited forty years, and, ultimately, Jesus waited thirty years to begin his main ministry. As the saying goes, “If God is making you wait, you are in good company!” By comparison, the six months or one year of champing at the bit seems less significant.

  Dreams take time to be fulfilled. There is an inner game that has to be played out before we can face the outer one. Our mindsets and foci need to be strengthened first. Every athlete knows the importance of this pre-match prep. Michael Jordan was quite clear: “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.”1 This is what happens in the waiting time. The process of preparing is as important as the plan.

  Gary Mack, the author of Mind Gym, tells the story of Pelé, the legendary Brazilian soccer player.2 Pelé told Mack about his routine the day of a match. He would arrive about an hour before and find an isolated, quiet place to lie down and place a pillow over his eyes. From there, Pelé would watch a film in his “mind’s eye.” He began playing the movie in his head, starting from playing soccer on the beaches of Brazil as a child, where he could feel the hot sun on his back, the ocean breeze in the background. He would vividly recall the thrill the game brought him. Pelé would immerse himself in his love of soccer and relive those wonderful memories.

  From there, Pelé would relive his greatest moments on the world stage. He talked about letting himself feel and enjoy the intensity of these moments, the thrill of winning over and over again. He spoke about the importance of making a strong connection to his past before he could begin thinking about the current event. Pelé would then begin the final installment in his film by seeing himself as he was about to become: scoring goals, flying past defenders, playing brilliantly. He made a movie of positive images that brought strong feelings of enjoyment and success.

  This is perhaps the most important thing for us to take away and apply to our own performance preparation. Pelé would imagine everything before it happened: the crowd, the field, his team, his opponents, the atmosphere—every element of what he was about to experience—always holding on to those strong emotional positive images of success. He imagined himself performing like an irresistible force that could not be stopped. Then he would begin his stretching and exercise routine and head into the stadium, mentally and physically unstoppable.

  In biblical stories, the pattern is similar but distinctive. God often plants dreams and visions in us before they happen. God changed Abram’s name to Abraham, which meant “father of nations, or multitude,” before he had the promised child. This was the means he used to convince Abraham to call for what he did not yet have in reality. God had established the future by promise, but Abraham had to call it into reality by mixing faith with God’s Word. Every time he said, “I am Abraham,” he was declaring the promise that was not yet manifest (see Romans 4:17).

  I have a friend named Robert who has a pr
ophetic gift. He has a friend in the army, James, who year after year failed to get promoted from major to lieutenant colonel. He was missing the promotion by tiny margins of one or two points. James was beginning to get despondent and started to talk about leaving the army altogether. Robert felt strongly that the army was God’s calling for James, so every time he sent James a text message he called him “Colonel.” For two years Robert used this nickname, until finally James called him with the great news that he had at last been promoted. What Robert did was an act of encouragement. It was not just a wishful thought but a belief that, after the waiting period, God would respond. It was an act of faith and a reminder of what was yet to be.

  I do not mean that you should go around proclaiming, “I shall be the next president of the United States,” but there is a sense, as with Pelé, of visualizing with faith and prayer a version of your future that fits your wiring as a person, your gifting and experience, and also God’s abundant goodness and promises. It wouldn’t be crass to sum it up as the “power of positive thinking,” provided we realize that both the source of our hope and our ability to deliver come from the Holy Spirit. We need to be firm, positive, and inspired to believe the promises of the Bible, as did David in Psalm 118, who said with determination, “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD” (v. 17 NKJV).

  My own experience of this waiting time has been more difficult in reality than in the theory I have presented. For me waiting is a nightmare, and I can feel overwhelmed by frustration. I find myself crying out with the psalmist, “How long, LORD?” (Psalm 13:1), and wondering why I can’t get going when everything appears to be in place.

  It may be helpful to give a few pointers of how I have tried to deal with the times when my own dreams and hopes have been deferred or denied me altogether.

  TEN WINNING WAYS IN THE WAITING ROOM

  1. WAIT WITH PERSISTENCE

  Sometimes the task for which we are being prepared has not yet been fully disclosed to us. And the more demanding the new calling, the tougher the preparation might be. I have often reminded myself of the story of the persistent widow, who relentlessly pursued the judge for the outcome she dreamed of, until he finally granted the request (Luke 18:1–8). This story inspires us to labor in prayer to see our dreams fulfilled.

  2. REMEMBER GOD IS IN CONTROL

  So often the pain of uncertainty and anxiety, which accompanies major shifts in our lives, is so overwhelming that we assume it must be the devil’s work, perhaps a deliberate and targeted attack to unsettle us in our callings. It usually isn’t. All we need to remember in these times are four words: God is with us. This is the declaration—“Immanuel, God with us” (Matthew 1:23)—that starts Matthew’s gospel and indeed ends it: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). He knows and he cares. He is preparing. He may be silent, but he is not absent.

  3. EMBRACE THE CHANGE

  Don’t resist it—and believe good will come of the waiting. Doubts may emerge, but they need not stay. Entertaining doubt for too long gives it undeserved legitimacy. When Moses was called, he hung back and raised one excuse after another: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?” (Exodus 3:11) and “What if they do not believe me or listen to me?” (Exodus 4:1) and “I am slow of speech and tongue. . . . Please send someone else” (vv. 10, 13). Our own feelings of inadequacy or weakness are always answered by God’s presence and strength: “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5).

  4. AVOID FEELING ALONE

  In his most depressed moment, Elijah complained to God that he was the only one going through this time of waiting for God to act, the only one taking on the priests and the followers of Baal: “The people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away” (1 Kings 19:14 ESV). Elijah, of course, was not alone, and when God sent him back to Ahab, he revealed that there were seven thousand others in Israel who had refused to bow to the Baals. However alone we feel, there are others going through the same times of transition, feeling the same disorientation, lacking the same assurance, and struggling just as hard. It is small comfort to know that we are not left alone, but it is still worth remembering that we join every person of God, in every age, who has had to learn this fundamental lesson: waiting on God is the first and greatest test of our trust in him.

  5. LIVE IN THE PRESENT

  We shouldn’t settle down in the waiting room to relive the past. The past is no guide to the future. Sometimes it is helpful to reflect, but we also need to clear the decks of past disappointments, frustrations, and mistakes. It is a choice to say with the psalmist, “This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24 NKJV, emphasis added). The day is new and fresh: “his com-passions never fail. They are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22–23). Replaying the action is tempting, but the past is unrepeatable. New circumstances, new skills, and new relationships make each day a unique day for the Lord to nudge us on to better play.

  6. DON’T STRESS ABOUT THE EXIT

  While we are in the waiting room, there is no point stressing about the exit. It will come in its time. Just as Joseph had to go through time in prison, so we may well have to stay expectant in a trying and unsettling place. The timing belongs to God. It is noteworthy that Joseph was not idle in prison. In fact, he had the opportunity to exercise his gift of prophecy, which two years later resulted in his release from his very demanding waiting room and his promotion to prime minister of Egypt. Likewise, Joshua was required to march seven times around the city of Jericho before taking the city (Joshua 6). Our work of preparation may be of a spiritual or practical nature—it tends to be a mixture of both—but there is always plenty we can do as we wait.

  7. DON’T RUSH AHEAD

  My father was a farmer who grew fruit. Whenever we impatiently tested the green avocados, he would remind me that you can’t squeeze a fruit ripe. It ripens in its season. Sometimes it seems such a long time for the harvest to come. It is the same with God’s seasons—we cannot accelerate them, as God reminds us in Isaiah 60:22: “I am the LORD; in its time I will do this swiftly.” And every effort of our own to accelerate God’s plan will merely bear inedible green fruit. Remember in Psalm 1: the person who delights in the Word of God “is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season” (v. 3). Rushing is not biblical. In our culture where speed is the ideal, let us dare to slow the pace and trust God’s timing.

  I once asked Michael, a friend in his early twenties, what distinguished the attitudes of him and his friends from the attitude of his parents’ generation. He had several answers, and then, as his parting comment, he said, “I think we all want shortcuts. We have become so used to finding short, efficient ways to use computers without having to go through long processes. We hate waiting. And we have been helped by the programmers who make it easier to take shortcuts without having to go through labor-intensive actions. We love one-click applications. Press Cmd+A, and all the text is highlighted without having to go through it line by line.”

  Sadly, spiritual shortcuts don’t work. There isn’t an efficient way to fast-track the waiting time. Whenever I have tried to take a shortcut in spiritual growth, I have come up short. The path always leads us back to the tried and challenging ways of waiting for the Lord.

  8. STICK WITH THE LITTLE THINGS

  While we wait, we need to keep going with our daily tasks—giving to our core relationships, being engaged in our communities, getting on with life—until it is clear that it is time to move. And when we work, we work graciously, not grudgingly, for Christ is the real Master we serve whenever and wherever. Remember the old proverb: while I wait he is working, while I work he is waiting! There is enough of a truth there to be worth remembering.

  9. DRAW CLOSE TO GOD

  God uses these ti
mes of waiting to draw us closer to him, to ourselves, and to our loved ones. So many people have told me that in this time of uncertainty they have drawn closer to not only God but also their spouses and others near them. In the battle for our attention, God often has to let us go through a period of adversity so that we might attune our ears to his voice and discern his direction. In a frenzied world we often slot God into overactive lives, trying to force him to fit around our routines. This never works. A waiting period is a time to recognize that we have drifted into a world of expectation and instant answers. This is not the real world. Often God’s way is to waken within us a calling, but then to allow us to recognize that his greatest desire is to draw close to us.

  In the book of Isaiah, King Hezekiah fell ill and received word from the prophet Amos that he was about to die. The king cried out to God for salvation, and after a short period of waiting, God sent Isaiah to inform him that he would now live. Unsurprisingly, the king was fairly relieved! But even before he was cured, King Hezekiah started singing a song of praise to the Lord, which contains these lines:

  But what can I say?

  He has spoken to me, and he himself has done this.

  I will walk humbly all my years

  because of this anguish of my soul.

  Lord, by such things people live;

  and my spirit finds life in them too.

  You restored me to health

  and let me live.

  Surely it was for my benefit

  that I suffered such anguish.

  In your love you kept me

  from the pit of destruction;