Not Exactly Allies

by Kathryn Judson

CHAPTER 61 – AFTER MIDNIGHT

  A policeman walked up to Dennis Uppington and, finding himself ignored, cleared his throat.

  "Oh, did you want to talk to me?" Dennis asked, dully surprised, but only paying half attention.

  "There's neighbors have called us up, to ask us to see what you thought you were doing, hanging about this hour of the night, walking back and forth, back and forth like."

  For answer, Dennis reached into his pocket. The cop took him to the ground.

  "Oh, sorry. My fault," Dennis said. "I should have asked permission or something."

  The cop grunted. He reached gingerly into the pocket. He came out with a small box. It looked to be a jewelry box. He opened it cautiously. A ring. It looked like an engagement ring.

  "I'm in deep trouble," Dennis said. "I meant to ask her at dinner last night, only I panicked. Didn't even make it to dinner."

  "Stood her up, you mean?"

  "I'm sure it looked that way. I didn't mean it that way, but… I've been wondering whether there's any point in trying. After leaving her in the lurch, I mean?" He was very much in earnest.

  The cop was hard pressed to keep a straight face. He helped Dennis to his feet. "Well, son, I would thank you not to tell anyone, but I rather bungled the formalities myself before I got married. My wife, she gave me a second chance. Go for it, I'd say. The worst that can happen is that you'll be slightly more humiliated than you are at the moment. Right?"

  "Gee, thanks. I'm already feeling more humiliated than I've ever been in my life. I don't think I'd survive anything worse."

  "Ah, c'mon. It's only feelings," the cop said. He lowered his voice. "And most women seem to think it's wonderful when gents go stupid for their sakes. Doesn't make any sense to me, but I'm not female, am I? Well, they don't want constantly stupid, of course. They like us to be fully functional most of the time, but they don't mind the occasional lapse. Really. Not if they're the cause of it."

  Dennis wasn't sure he dared believe it.

  "There now. Buck up. You can do it," the cop said. "And good luck." He put the jewelry box into Dennis's hand, rolled Dennis's emotionally paralyzed fingers around it, patted him on the back and started to walk away.

  A window flung open two stories up, and a head came out. "Here, now! Aren't you going to arrest him?" The voice was loud, belligerent, angry, harsh, female. Older female. She looked very old maidish.

  "Why? Do you know something I don't know?" the cop called out, trying to keep his voice down, hoping not to bother or wake people, if he could help it.

  "He's been hanging about. Up to no good, if you ask me." The voice was louder, if anything.

  "He's friends with one of the ladies hereabouts, or so he says," the cop said. He made his voice slightly softer, trying to teach by good example.

  "That doesn't give him… what are you waving your hands for?"

  "I'd like you to lower your voice, ma'am," the cop said. "People are likely trying to sleep this time of night."

  "Precisely!" The old-maidish woman looked at the cop like she thought he was supremely stupid.

  A second face appeared at the window. "Naomi, what's up?" the young woman asked.

  "Some creep walking up and down, up and down, over an hour now he's been walking up and down, staring up here, and the policeman won't arrest him because they're both men," the older woman snarled.

  "Here, now, that's not the case at all," the cop protested.

  The younger woman looked down. "Dennis? Is that you?"

  "Janice, I… I... I'm sorry about missing dinner, I…"

  "I was worried. And I didn't understand your text message. And you wouldn't answer mine."

  "Sorry. I just panicked, that's all." He realized what he'd said, and froze.

  "Say something else," the cop urged. "Quick."

  "I mean, I'm sorry to come bothering you this time of night," Dennis said.

  "That's okay," Janice said. She settled more comfortably into the sill, looking like she was starting to really enjoy the conversation.

  "Told ya," the cop whispered in Dennis's ear. Dennis was uncomprehending. "She likes you, and thinks it's great that you're flustered. Trust me on this," the cop clarified.

  Dennis looked upward. "I wondered if you wanted to get married," he blurted.

  "To you?" the older woman said. She sniffed. "Her? Get married to you ?"

  "Well, yes," Dennis said, suddenly strong and defensive. He drew himself to full height.

  Janice elbowed her unwelcome chaperone to one side. "And yes I would, if you ever ask me, you nincompoop," Janice said, down to Dennis.

  Dennis turned to the cop. "Was that a yes? Did she say yes?"

  "I think she'd like a more formal proposal is all," the cop whispered.

  "Was that a yes?" Dennis asked, frantically, staring at Janice.

  "That was, more precisely, a promise to say yes if you ever ask me directly to marry you."

  "Didn't I? I meant to. Will you marry me?"

  "Absolutely," she said.

  "That, son, was definitely a yes," the cop said. He went happily on his way. He wished he'd had a camera on the old biddy trying to get the girl's beau arrested for being love-struck. The look on her face when the girl agreed to get married was priceless.