The Book Lovers
Page 16
Callie had taken her coat off and noticed that Piers had too. He was making himself far too much at home for her liking and she had to nip it in the bud.
It was then that she noticed her answer machine was flashing. Her finger hovered over the play button, wondering if she should leave it until she’d managed to get rid of Piers, but curiosity go the better of her and she hit play, instantly regretting it as the sound of Leo’s voice filled the tiny room.
‘Hi gorgeous,’ he said, instantly turning Callie’s face red. ‘Just wondering how it’s going and if you’re up for some fun in the great outdoors sometime? Give me a call, okay? I imagine you’re spending all your time hunched over that keyboard, aren’t you? I’ll have to give you one of my famous massages.’ He gave a laugh that sent naughty goose bumps across Callie’s skin. ‘See you!’
‘Who the hell was that?’ Piers asked as soon as the message was over, his face ashen.
‘Just a friend,’ she said, turning away from him quickly.
Piers stared at her as if he was seeing her for the first time in his life. ‘A friend you have massages with “in the great outdoors”?’ he said in a silly voice.
Callie had to will herself not to laugh at Piers’s summation of her relationship with Leo Wildman.
‘Well, I hear you have a new woman in your life,’ Callie said, ‘so why shouldn’t I have a new man?’
‘Who told you that?’ Piers said. ‘Was it Heidi? Has she been spying on me?’
‘Oh, don’t be so melodramatic!’ Callie said.
Piers looked affronted as he sat down on Callie’s sofa.
‘What are you doing?’ Callie asked.
‘I’m waiting for my wife to offer me a cup of tea.’
‘Soon to be ex-wife,’ Callie said rolling her eyes. She really didn’t want him there and couldn’t think why he’d driven all the way out of London to see her. They had nothing to say to each other. They hadn’t ever really had very much to say to each other especially towards the end of their marriage. But who was she to deny a cup of tea to somebody she’d once been in love with? So, somewhat reluctantly, she headed into the kitchen.
‘And a sandwich would be great too,’ Piers called.
It didn’t take long for Callie to whip up a quick supper for the pair of them. Taking it through to the living room, she saw that Piers had kicked off his shoes. He’d also cranked up the central heating. Alarm bells went off in Callie’s head.
‘Don’t get too comfortable,’ she warned him. ‘You’re not staying.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘What do you mean, what do I mean? I mean, you’re not staying.’
His face took on a woebegone look. ‘But I really don’t want to stay in some dreary provincial bed and breakfast.’
Callie looked at him in horror. ‘You planned this, didn’t you?’
‘What do you mean?’ he said in all innocence. ‘If you’d been here when I’d arrived instead of gallivanting around–’
‘I wasn’t gallivanting,’ she said. ‘I was at our local book club.’
‘You’ve joined a little country book club?’
‘Why do you always have to sound so snooty about everything?’
‘I don’t,’ he said.
‘Yes you do,’ she said. ‘You’re so critical. You were always looking down your nose at my clothes or my satchel or–’
‘God almighty – don’t bring up that disgusting old bag of yours again.’
‘See!’ Callie said. ‘Plenty of people like satchels.’
‘Yeah, like who? Ageing hippies?’
Callie thought of how Sam had taken an instant shine to her beautiful bag and how she’d adored him for it.
‘Why did you come here, Piers? I really don’t think we’ve got anything to say to each other.’
She watched in frustration as he finished the food she’d prepared him before he answered her. Looking up from his plate, he ran his hand through his neat brown hair and focused his green stare on her. There had been a time when he’d been able to bowl her over with those eyes of his and his irrepressible grin, but not anymore.
‘Piers?’ she prompted him.
‘Caroline,’ he said, sounding her name softly which instantly put her on edge. ‘I think I’ve might have made a huge mistake.’
‘Yes, you shouldn’t have come here,’ she said.
‘You know what I mean,’ he said.
She wasn’t quite sure what to say because she didn’t want to hear what else he might have to say.
‘Don’t,’ she said, getting up from the sofa and taking their plates back through to the kitchen. He followed her.
‘Listen,’ he said, ‘I’ve been trying to work out what went wrong between us and I know it was probably all my fault, but I want to make up for that now.’
‘Are you serious?’ She turned around to face him. ‘Or is there some hidden camera somewhere recording all this for some warped TV show?’
‘Callie! I miss you,’ he cried.
‘But you never even talked to me. All the times I tried to get us to just talk and you ignored me. You ignored me, Piers. Have you any idea what that felt like? I’ve never been lonelier in my life than when I was married to you. A writer’s life is lonely enough, but to be married to somebody who doesn’t even talk to them...’ Her voice petered out as tears rose in her eyes. She didn’t want to go back to that time; she didn’t want to think about it ever again.
‘I’m so sorry, Callie,’ he said. ‘But you know what my job’s like.’
‘Yes, I do,’ she said. ‘It’s always been more important than me, hasn’t it?’
‘No, never,’ he said.
‘Don’t lie to me,’ she said. ‘I was there. I should know! You locked yourself away from me for hours – not just physically but emotionally too. We never really connected, did we?’
‘How can you say that? We were married, for God’s sake!’
‘No we weren’t,’ she said. ‘Not really.’
He stared at her for a long time, his green eyes seemingly full of sorrow.
‘I messed up,’ he said, looking down at the floor.
‘I thought you were seeing somebody else,’ she said.
‘I don’t care about her,’ he said. ‘I want you back. Can’t we try again, Callie? Come back with me – tonight!’
‘Piers! No! We’re getting divorced. I’ve left London. I’ve got my own place,’ she said just in case he hadn’t noticed. ‘And I’m happy.’
‘You’re seeing somebody, aren’t you? That massaging guy.’
‘That has nothing to do with how I feel about you,’ she told him. ‘We just didn’t work. You’ve got to accept that.’
‘But what if I can’t?’
Callie shook her head. ‘We should have had this conversation a long, long time ago.’
‘But it’s not too late,’ he told her, grabbing hold of her shoulders.
‘It’s much too late,’ she said. ‘Do you know how many nights I waited up for you, waiting for you to leave that study of yours and come and talk to me? I was so lonely, so desperate for your company. And then our baby.’ Her voice was barely above a whisper now. ‘I can’t ever forget how quickly you were able to move on from that, but I wasn’t and you weren’t there for me, Piers! I felt like I was on my own, fighting my way through that grief without you there to help me.’
‘I know that now,’ he said, ‘but I can make it up to you.’
‘You’re not listening to me,’ she said, getting frustrated. ‘I don’t want you to make it up to me now.’
‘But you’re still wearing your wedding ring,’ he said.
‘It’s stuck,’ she said. ‘I’ve been meaning to get it cut off, but I haven’t got round to it.’
A horrible silence hung between them.
‘Listen, this is just for tonight, you understand. You’re not to make a habit of it. I’ll get you a pillow and some blankets,’ Callie said at last, her innate kindness winning out o
ver reason. ‘You can sleep on the sofa.’ She made to leave the room and he grabbed her arm.
‘Callie,’ he said, ‘I’m so sorry.’
She nodded before leaving the room.
When Callie awoke the next morning, the first thought to enter her mind was that something was wrong and it didn’t take her long to remember what it was.
‘Piers,’ she said to herself. He was in her house.
It had taken an age for her to fall asleep the night before as her head had filled with so many sad memories of their past together, and of the things he’d said to her and of the things he’d also never said to her.
She’d found it impossible to switch off as she heard her soon-to-be ex moving around her little cottage, sloshing around in her bathroom upstairs and then cursing as he bumped his head on the living room beam downstairs. She was dreading going downstairs and secretly hoped that he’d have had the good sense to leave early, but he hadn’t.
She was just making her way to the bathroom when she heard the sound of rustling pages from her study.
‘Piers?’ she called from the landing. There was no reply. She tiptoed along the bare floorboards in her slippers, tightening the belt around her dressing gown as she peered into her study.
‘PIERS!’ she cried as she saw him sitting at her desk, washed and dressed, the printed pages of her new manuscript in his hands.
‘Jeepers!’ he yelled, physically jumping in the air. ‘You scared the hell out of me!’
‘What are you doing in here?’
‘I was just having a look at this,’ he said, holding the pages aloft.
‘You’ve got no right to go poking through my things.’
‘But I’m your publisher,’ he said, looking puzzled by her anger.
‘That doesn’t mean you can just barge in here,’ she said, doing her best to remain calm when what she really wanted to do was to hit him over the head with her pot of pens.
‘I didn’t know you were writing something new,’ he said, resolutely not moving from her desk.
‘Well, of course I’m writing something new. What did you think I was doing – vegetating in the country?’
‘I think the beginning needs a bit of work, but it really has something,’ he continued.
‘Please put it down.’
He shook his head. ‘I’m taking this straight back to London with me.’
‘Oh, no you’re not,’ Callie said.
‘I need to show it to my assistant. I think she’s going to love it.’
‘Piers – you’re not listening to me. I’m not giving you my new novel. We are never going to work together again.’
‘Are you crazy?’
‘No, I’m perfectly sane. Now please put it down and leave.’
‘No,’ he said.
‘I’m warning you,’ she said.
He stood up, the manuscript still in his hands. ‘Oh, you’re warning me, are you?’ he said, his left eyebrow raising as if he was mocking her. The expression tipped Callie over the edge and she lunged forward, but he was too quick for her, holding the printed pages high above his head.
‘Give them here!’ Callie cried, feeling Piers’s hands at her waist. ‘What are you doing?’ But she knew what he was doing: he was tickling her. ‘No – don’t!’
‘Let me take the book, Callie.’
‘Stop it!’ she yelled, helpless at his tickling onslaught and feeling herself buckling towards the floor.
‘Say yes, Callie!’ he said.
‘No – never!’ She was laughing now, as tears of mirth splashed onto her cheeks. ‘Let me go!’
He continued to tickle her but, as he reached out to place the manuscript on her desk, she took advantage and made her escape, pushing him away from her. It didn’t have quite the effect she wanted, though, and she watched in horror as he dropped the pages which fell to the floor in completely the wrong order.
‘Oh, Piers!’ she shouted.
‘It was an accident,’ he said, laughing at the mess of paper.
Callie stood up, straightening her hair and nightgown. Her heart was racing madly and she felt weak with having laughed so much. They hadn’t messed around like that since their very early days together when everything was still light and fun between them and they’d actually spent time together.
She looked at him now as he made a mad scramble to collect all her pages together and put them back into order.
‘Leave it,’ she said.
‘No, I made the mess,’ he said. ‘I’ll tidy it up.’
‘Piers,’ she said softy and something in her voice caught his attention and he put the pages of the manuscript down on her desk and turned to face her.
‘I think it’s time you left,’ she said.
He stared at her without speaking, his eyes full of sadness at her words. ‘We were good together once,’ he said.
‘Once,’ Callie said and he nodded.
‘I’ll get my things,’ he said quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder and bending to kiss her cheek before leaving the room.
Callie didn’t follow him downstairs. Instead, she watched from the window of her study as he got into his car, her heart breaking all over again as a little piece of her past drove away with him.
Chapter 15
It was Sunday and early morning clouds had parted to reveal a pearly blue sky. The days were getting noticeably shorter now and the country footpaths were slowly being engulfed by mud, but Leo had persuaded Callie that there was still lots to see in the great outdoors and so she’d donned her wellies and the two of them had walked across the green at Newton St Clare and taken a footpath into the wood which was a blaze of coppery colour.
Truffle and Blewit ran ahead along the path, sticking their noses into the piles of leaves that littered the floor of the wood, making a magical carpet of bright colour.
‘Aren’t you glad you came out?’ Leo said.
‘I am,’ Callie said with a laugh.
‘You writers would happily spend all day cooped up indoors,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘I don’t know how you can do it. It would drive me mad.’
‘But I like it,’ she said.
‘And you’ll like it even more later for having been outside now.’
‘I know,’ she said, taking in a deep breath of clear, crisp air and feeling all the better for it.
How quickly she and Leo had got into an easy routine of meeting up and going out. They still hadn’t done anything more formal than having a pub lunch together, but Callie enjoyed that and she liked seeing Leo in his natural environment. There was something wonderfully attractive about how well-suited he was to the fields and the woods. Looking at him now as he watched over his beloved spaniels, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be in a long-term relationship with him.
But that’s not what you want, a little voice inside her said and she nodded to herself because any sort of relationship was the very last thing on her mind. Yet, as she looked at the handsome man with the weather-beaten face and a huge smile, she couldn’t help imagining a possible future with him. That was the curse of being a writer, she thought. One’s imagination always ran away, and how easy it was to imagine what a life with Leo would be like, with a lifetime of walks to beautiful places to look forward to, of bonfires, foraging and camping out under the stars. She could almost hear the children too. She was sure there would be at least half a dozen little Leos and Leonoras, and how much fun would that be? It would be a wonderfully chaotic, noisy existence with never a dull moment.
Don’t go there, the little voice said. Remember what happened when that imagination of yours started after meeting Piers? And look where that got you.
Callie was still feeling pretty shaken by Piers’s surprise visit and she was still trying to process her feelings about Sam too, and the strange encounter she’d had with his wife, Emma. It was all much more than she’d bargained for when she’d chosen to escape to Suffolk.
‘You okay?’ Leo suddenly said,
breaking into her thoughts. ‘You look all serious.’ He cocked his head to one side in that adorable way of his and she thought of how much she could scare him if she confessed to what she’d been thinking about.
‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘Just thinking too much.’
‘That’ll never do you any good,’ he said.
She laughed, knowing he was right and that the best things to ever happen were often spontaneous, light and fun. And that was the reason she was with Leo now, she reminded herself. This wasn’t meant to be getting all heavy and serious. It was meant to be a wonderful, carefree fling.
They continued walking, climbing over a stile which the dogs jumped through and following a little brook until they were in the very centre of the wood.
‘You’ve got a beech leaf in your hair,’ Leo told Callie.
Callie’s hands flew up to her hair. ‘Where?’ she asked, tipping her head forward.
‘Just there,’ Leo said as half a dozen leaves cascaded down on her from above.
‘What?’ Callie cried, looking up.
‘You’re covered in them,’ Leo said.
‘Did you just–’ she asked, but stopped as she saw him bending down to scoop an armful of bright leaves from the floor of the wood.
‘Absolutely covered in them,’ he said as he dropped the leaves on top of her.
‘LEO!’ she shouted.
He laughed.
‘Right!’ she said. ‘This is war!’
If anybody else had been walking in the wood that morning and heard the noise that Callie and Leo were making, they wouldn’t have believed that it wasn’t a couple of children playing as armfuls of leaves were gathered up and thrown at one another. The spaniels thought it was a brilliant game and did their best to get involved, barking loudly and running around in circles until Callie begged for mercy.
‘You are totally crazy, you know that?’ Callie said, completely out of breath.
‘Only about you,’ he said, moving closer to her.
Oh, dear, she thought. Things had gone back to being serious again.
‘I think we’d better head back,’ she said.
‘Callie!’ he said, taking hold of her hand. ‘I really like you.’