Almost Married

by Carol Grace

  “You probably won’t believe this,” she said, “but Morgan is normally a wonderful baby, except when she’s teething or her mother leaves, and then—” Laurie sighed. “Well, you saw what happened. I feel so helpless. I wish I had your knack with children. How do you do it?”

  “I don’t. It’s never happened before. In my line of work I rarely run into babies or many women for that matter. Believe me, I’m not out looking for them,” he said emphatically.

  Laurie didn’t say anything. What could she say when a man made it perfectly clear he wanted nothing to do with her or Morgan? But even if Cooper Buckingham wasn’t out looking for women, he had to have them falling all over him with that animal magnetism he radiated and those devastating good looks. Why hadn’t Gretel said more about him? Why hadn’t Laurie asked?

  Cooper hoped Laurie had gotten the message. He didn’t want to talk about women and babies. He’d successfully turned his attention to his work these past years, locking his past into a tiny compartment deep inside. Any threat to his hard-won peace of mind had to be vigorously avoided. Not that this chance encounter was a threat. Within an hour these two would be out of his car and out of his life. If Steve or Gretel called him when they got back and tried to arrange something, he’d say he was busy. It usually worked with everyone else. There was no reason to worry, no cause to panic. It was time to change the subject from him to her.

  “Do you still work for the airline?” he asked.

  “I quit a few months ago. I got tired of the rat race, so I... I...” She turned her face to the window and pressed her forehead against it.

  Puzzled, he looked at her slender shoulders, which were shaking, and her blond straight hair that brushed against her sweater.

  “What’s wrong? What did I say?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” she answered in a muffled voice.

  Startled, he asked, “Are you crying?”

  She shook her head. “Of course not. I just... can’t talk about it yet. I haven’t even told Gretel.”

  “Told her what?”

  “Why I quit.”

  “Why did you quit?” The woman was baffling, maddening. What was her problem? Schizophrenia? Agoraphobia? Vertigo?

  “It’s so stupid, you won’t believe it.”

  “Try me,” he suggested.

  “I fell in love with a pilot,” she confessed in a ragged voice.

  “So?”

  “He was married.”

  “Oh.”

  His tone said it all. He’d lost all respect for her. If he had any to begin with.

  “I knew it,” she went on. “It was my fault. He said he was getting a divorce. He said it was almost final. It wasn’t.”

  She took a deep breath, wondering what had loosened her tongue—the wine in his room, the company or the long ride.

  “That was six months ago. I should be over it by now. I am over it. It’s finished and I’m fine. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I don’t even know you.”

  Suddenly she felt his hand close over hers on the car seat. Sympathy from a total stranger, just what she didn’t want. And yet, the warmth of his hand stole through her body, infusing her with a heat that flooded her veins. Blinking back tears, she turned to face him in the darkness of the car.

  “Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger,” he said.

  She nodded. “That must be it. I feel much better. Thanks. Again. Oh, there’s the sign. It can’t be too far now. She pulled her hand away self-consciously and straightened her shoulders. She was glad he couldn’t see her face, glad she couldn’t see his. See his expression of pity, and know what he thought of her. Equally glad she’d probably never see him again after today.

  In another half hour they were driving up the road to the farmhouse. Cooper followed her into the house, all the way into Morgan’s room, and he watched while she laid the baby carefully, without waking her, into her crib.

  Coop stood there watching Morgan sigh contentedly, snuggle into her blanket, the night-light shining on her rosy skin, and suddenly felt a tightening in his chest, a poignant longing for something he’d lost and could never find again. The feelings that this baby awakened, that this woman caused made his heart rate accelerate. What was it? Fear of involvement? Certainly not desire for involvement. He felt Laurie’s eyes on him and he reached for her hand for the second time that evening. This time she gripped his fingers and didn’t let go.

  The curtains fluttered in the breeze and the sweet scent of ripening apples floated in through the window. He turned slightly to meet her gaze and desire shot through him, as sudden as it was unwanted. He hardly knew this woman, and yet he did know her somehow. He wanted her, wanted to cup her head with his hands and kiss her deeply, profoundly. But he wouldn’t have touched her if she hadn’t moved her hands up his arms and gripped his shoulders.

  “Cooper,” she whispered, her voice tinged with surprise, and his heart thudded in his chest. The smell of the ripe fruit outside mingled with her scent and became one. She moved closer to him, her face tilted toward his, her lips parted, inviting. Did she know what she was doing? Did she know what she wanted? Did she feel a fraction of the desire that swept through him?

  He pulled her to him until her breasts were crushed against his chest. She gasped but she didn’t back away. Her eyes were filled with questions he couldn’t answer. There were no answers, he realized with a sudden shock. It was wrong to think there were. He dropped his arms and she took a step backward, blinking uncomprehendingly. Then the phone in the other room began to ring and she turned on her heel and walked out the door.

  When he steadied himself and joined her in the living room she was talking on the phone.

  “It was all my fault,” she explained.

  Not exactly, he thought. In fact, he was to blame for what happened. For letting her think this could be the start of something.

  “I’ll get a new set of keys tomorrow in Buffalo—Yes, I know. And Morgan’s been a real trouper through it all. A perfect angel.” Her gaze met Cooper’s across the room and she gave him a half smile. He heard her ask about the weather in Seattle and how Steve was. The only clue that she’d been wrapped in his arms a few minutes ago was a telltale flush that clung to her cheeks.

  He didn’t want to stand there and listen to her talk. He wanted to take the phone out of her hands and take up where they’d left off. He wanted to toss her sweater across the floor, unbutton her shirt, capture her breasts in his hands, watch her eyes darken with desire, hear her whisper his name again—but that was not going to happen.

  He stood and walked to the window to let the night air cool his face. What was it about her that turned him into a maniac? He was not in the market for a short-term relationship, or a long-term one, either. His only goal was to avoid pain. Cooper had suffered enough pain to last a lifetime. He had to ignore this overwhelming attraction, and the electricity that crackled in the air whenever she was around.

  She hung up at last and he turned to face her, but the phone rang again. He pounded his fist into his palm with frustration. He had to say goodbye and get out of there. She talked for a few minutes, then hung up again.

  “My sister,” Laurie explained. Her sister who wanted to know if she’d met anyone interesting yet. Her sister who wouldn’t rest until Laurie found as much love and happiness as she had. Who didn’t realize yet that taking care of a baby was a full-time job, with no time left over to look for interesting men. Unless they just happened to be in the right place at the wrong time.

  “You must be starving,” she said, pressing her palms against her heated cheeks. “I am. Let’s see what Gretel left us. I know there’re apples, pounds and pounds of apples.” She was chattering, trying to cover up her nervousness while Cooper remained silent, just watching her. She still tasted his lips on hers, still felt his hands pulling her close, then closer. She still wanted more, but knew she couldn’t have it, not here, not now, not with him.

  This man wasn’t intereste
d in what she was interested in. She was not about to fall for somebody else who couldn’t or wouldn’t get married. The next time she fell in love it would be with someone who was looking for a home and a hearth and a baby. And a wife, of course. This man wasn’t. She didn’t know why and she didn’t care. It was none of her business.

  Nonetheless she owed him something for bringing her and Morgan all the way home tonight. Dinner. She opened the refrigerator and stared at the contents without seeing them. With Coop standing next to her, hair rumpled, eyes gleaming dangerously, she had a hard time focusing on food.

  “Can you cook?” he asked.

  “Not really,” she confessed. “But I’m good at heating things up.”

  His mouth quirked up at one corner and his eyes sparkled with interest. She felt her face flame despite the cool, refrigerated air. “I mean..

  “I know what you mean and I agree completely.” He reached across her and pulled out a package of ground meat. “How about hamburgers?”

  Laurie nodded gratefully, found buns in the freezer, lettuce in the crisper and very soon they were sitting at the breakfast nook in the kitchen eating salad and slathering mustard and ketchup on their burgers.

  “This is great,” she said between bites. “Too bad you’re not in the marriage market. You could make some lucky woman very happy.”

  He filled her glass from a can of soda he found in the refrigerator. “By cooking hamburgers every night? I doubt it.”

  Laurie wiggled her toes happily, happy to be home, happy to be across the table from this good-looking but unavailable man who must be aware that cooking hamburgers was most definitely not all he could do. She swallowed a smile and a gulp of iced tea and said, “Sounds good to me.”

  “You must be desperate,” he said jokingly. But the look in her eyes told him she wasn’t amused. She was hurt. The look lasted only for a second, then she recovered with a quick smile that never quite reached her eyes. “I mean for good food,” he explained.

  She nodded and finished her sandwich.

  He leaned back in Gretel’s ladder-back kitchen chair. “You’ll need a ride in to Buffalo tomorrow.”

  She got up from the table and carried the empty dishes to the dishwasher. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You don’t have much of a choice,” he remarked.

  She leaned against the counter and looked at him. No, she didn’t have much of a choice. But the ramifications had her mind spinning. If he drove her in he’d have to spend the night and that worried her. Not that he was going to take advantage of her. If anyone was taking advantage of anyone, she was the guilty party. Who was it who threw herself at him in the nursery tonight? Who couldn’t carry on a coherent phone conversation with him in the same room? If she could only control herself for one night, she didn’t need to worry about him. After all, he was a friend of the family. And Morgan liked him. Didn’t babies have inherent good intuition?

  She took a deep breath. “It’s nice of you to offer, but really—you could, I mean if you really don’t mind, well, there’s the spare bedroom, the one I was in. I’ll move into Gretel’s—” She was chattering again, and making no sense, hoping he wouldn’t get the wrong idea, that she wanted him to stay, when what she really wanted was... what was it again?

  He nodded and stretched his arms over his head as if it was fine with him, whatever she arranged. It was Laurie who couldn’t stop thinking of him sleeping in her bed in the guest room, with his long legs tangled in the sheets she’d slept in. It was Laurie who couldn’t take her eyes off his arms as he stretched, watching the muscles flex, measuring the width of his shoulders, noticing the way his hair fell across his forehead, almost daring her to smooth it back from his face.

  “If you’re sure you can spare the time, that is,” she continued, not knowing if it was settled or not. “If you don’t really have to go to work...”

  He shook his head and stood up from the table. “As a consultant, I can pretty much set my own hours. And this job is about finished anyway. It’s the least I can do for Gretel and Steve. It’s not like I’m a total stranger. At least you know I’m not likely to get up in the night and steal the silverware.”

  Laurie knew it was risky. Not that he’d steal the silverware, but that he’d steal her heart. Her vulnerable heart. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not to the new Laurie. The new, stronger, wiser Laurie, who anticipated danger before it struck. Who could spot a love ‘em and leave ‘em man a mile away. And one who was as up-front about his intentions or lack of them as Cooper? No problem.

  “Even if you weren’t a friend of the family, I wouldn’t worry about the silverware. After all, what would you do with it, if all you can cook is hamburgers? Besides, after all those years in the friendly skies, I can read people pretty well. And I know you aren’t the sneaky type.”

  “Really?” He braced his hands against the kitchen counter and slanted a provocative glance at her. “What type am I?”

  There was something about the look in his blue eyes that sucked the breath right out of her lungs. That challenged her to say he was her type, when she knew he wasn’t. As if she hadn’t been hit on by every sexy, flirtatious passenger there ever was. But this was different. No man had ever had this effect on her before. She shut her eyes for a minute to pull herself together. To think of an answer. What type was he?

  “I’m not sure,” she said weakly. “Would you like to see the guest room?” They passed Morgan’s room as they walked down the hall single file. “I hope she doesn’t wake you in the night.”

  “Nothing wakes me,” he assured her.

  After explaining how to close the shutters on the windows, Laurie slipped away down the hall without saying good-night. Who could blame her for wanting to avoid another scene. For all he knew she hadn’t gotten the message. But she had. She really had. Loud and clear. This man is not interested.

  Cooper stripped down to his underwear and got between the sheets. They smelled of Laurie’s flower scent that clung to her hair and her skin. He pressed his face into the pillow and inhaled deeply. Good God, what was wrong with him?

  He’d led a celibate life for the past two years, neither looking for nor wanting anything else. The only thing he wanted was his wife and baby back. But that wasn’t possible. In one night—one tragic night—everything he loved had been taken away from him. It was all he could do to keep it in the past, to keep it from intruding on his everyday life. He struggled with it, suffered through it and learned from it. What he learned was that no amount of happiness was worth the pain when it was gone. He would never ever take another chance on love again.

  Yes, Laurie was an attractive woman. Morgan was a cute baby—when she wasn’t crying. But there was no reason for this chance encounter to leave him feeling restless, disturbed and filled with desires he thought were long buried.

  He’d been on his way out the door when the next thing he knew he was cooking dinner for her. There was no need. Just because she couldn’t cook didn’t mean she would starve. All he needed to do was to say goodbye. And walk out. He certainly didn’t need to drive her to Buffalo tomorrow. There were cabs. There were neighbors. But there was that look in her eyes, the look she tried to cover up when he’d made that remark about being desperate. He hadn’t meant anything by it, but it had hurt her and he hadn’t meant to.

  He sighed loudly in the darkness. So she’d been hurt. She’d get over it. She was over it. She said so herself. But the look in her eyes said she wasn’t quite over it. So he felt sorry for her. But that wasn’t all.

  It was also the novelty, he thought. After two years without a break, without a vacation, he was taking a day off. It was understandable that he’d feel off-balance. One more day with this woman and he’d be more than ready to go back to work, to the turbines, the water flow, the dynamos and the switchyards. He looked forward to it. Work was his solace. He liked troubleshooting. It kept his mind off himself and the past. It wasn’t quite true what he’d said about the jo
b being finished. There was always something he could do. But not tomorrow. Because tomorrow Laurie needed him.

  He thought about the pilot with whom she’d fallen in love. Was she still in love with him? She’d get over it in time. She was tough, he knew that much about her, and she was beautiful, that was obvious. So beautiful she wouldn’t be single for long as soon as she got back into circulation. As soon as she got out of this apple orchard and back into the real world. The thought of her surrounded by eligible men bothered him and kept him from sleeping. Or was it the sweet- smelling sheets that kept reminding him of the woman who’d last slept between them?

  Chapter Four

  Did you know,” Coop asked Laurie as they drove through Buffalo in a rainstorm the next day, “that this is one of the world’s largest inland ports?”

  “Is that why we keep driving by it?” Laurie asked, unfolding her map of the city for the third time.

  “I keep driving by the port because I don’t know where else to drive. You’ve got the map. Help me out here.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, spreading the map out in her lap. “I’m lost.” Lost in the rain. The longer they drove around aimlessly the guiltier she felt. For taking up Cooper’s day, for wasting his time, for interrupting his work. And now, besides thinking she was totally incompetent, he knew she couldn’t read a map to save her soul. “Wait a minute,” she said, “that was it, Main Street. Turn left... oh, too late.”

  His lips clamped together in an expression of disgust, Coop went around the block and got onto Main Street. Despite her guilt, despite the cold autumn rain, despite the annoyed expression on her companion’s face, Laurie felt a strange sense of well-being. It might have been relief at finding the right street, or knowing they were on their way to getting her a new key to the Jeep. Or it might have been the cozy feeling of being sealed inside the car with Cooper and Morgan, the rain streaking down outside, creating their own little world inside.