by Laura Landon
“So it seems,” Nick Stillman answered from beside her.
Winnie froze. She hadn’t seen him here earlier. Didn’t know he was invited, or that he’d intended on coming. And now that he was here beside her, she didn’t know if she was angry that he had intruded on her privacy. Or overjoyed because he was here and she didn’t feel so isolated.
Of course such confusion was ridiculous. She couldn’t be relieved that he was here. He was the cause of most of her problems. He was the reason she still didn’t have the money she needed to pay the blackmail demand. Or the quarterly payment to Saint Christina’s. Or the additional amount she needed to pay the guards she’d instructed the sisters to hire. And yet, just knowing he was nearby soothed her like a comforting blanket someone wrapped around her heart.
Winnie told herself she couldn’t allow him to affect her like he did, but words were useless. They couldn’t stop actions. Or emotions. And her emotions seemed to have taken control of her thinking.
“Are you all right?” he asked, standing so close the heat from his body penetrated through the layers of her gown.
“Yes, I’m fine. I don’t know where such an emotion came from. I’m never given to such displays.”
“There’s no need to apologize, my lady. You, more than anyone, have the right to show such an emotion.”
Winnie ignored his remark. The implication was there again that she was hiding something, and that the weight of her deceit was wearing on her. She couldn’t let him think that. She couldn’t allow him to believe that she was weakening. That if he continued to work on her she’d break down.
She needed to move the subject away from herself, and focus on him, and why he was here.
“I’m surprised to see you here, Mr. Stillman. I seem to remember you saying you avoided most Society functions except for Lady Rummery’s annual ball. Yet, here you are again. The second time in less than two weeks.”
“I have an important reason that necessitates my being here. Two, actually. I need to speak with someone that I was told would be here.”
“And are they here?”
“Not yet, but I’m sure they will be soon. And, I saw you out here alone, and decided to speak with you first.”
“Am I the second reason you’re here?”
He smiled and his open grin caused her stomach to flip. The two creases on either side of his mouth deepened and her heart shifted in her breast.
It wasn’t right for anyone to be so handsome. It wasn’t fair that he appealed to her like he did. He was the greatest threat to everything she held dear. He could destroy everything and everyone she loved with one word.
“You see through me, my lady. I should know it’s impossible to keep anything from you.”
Winnie turned so that she could face him. That was the only way to battle Nick Stillman—head on. “I only wish I had such power,” she said. “But as we both know, you have me at a disadvantage on every score.”
The smile on his face flattened. “I only make the demands I do for your own good.”
“I know you think so, but on that point we differ.”
“You’re very confident of your gaming skills, aren’t you, my lady? May I ask where you acquired them? From whom?”
Winnie smiled. “It’s no great secret. I learned to play cards from Hodgekens, and the stable hands. I’d sneak out of the house after we’d been put to bed, and go to the stable and watch the men play before they retired for the night. At first Hodgekens made me go back to the house, but eventually, he gave up and let me stay.
“At first I just watched. Hodgekens would let me sit beside him, and sometimes he’d even let me choose which card to play.”
“It’s frightening, but I can see you sitting there with your hair in plaits and your feet in slippers.”
Winnie stifled a laugh. “Yes, I was quite adorable. Then, one night, Hodgekens reached for a card and I stopped him. He thought the card he intended to play was high, but I knew it wasn’t. The queen hadn’t been played yet.”
“How did you know that?”
“I’d counted. I kept track of all the cards that had been played, and knew which ones were still out.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“That’s what Hodgekens said. Only he used some harsher words when he said it. I thought what I was doing was a bad thing and promised I’d never do it again. He only laughed.”
Winnie remembered how excited she’d been when Hodgekens explained that what she did was good. That it was almost like a gift. “After that, it was a game to me. The men would play for a while, then Hodgekens would stop the game and ask me what cards were still out. And I’d tell them. Sometimes I could even tell them who had certain cards. I’m not sure how I knew, I just did.”
“Which is why you turned to The Dove when you needed money.”
Winnie refused to fall into his trap. “Which is why I go to The Dove when I want a little excitement.”
His slight pause told her he didn’t believe her, but that couldn’t be helped. She still wouldn’t give in.
“What happened the other night, then?”
She took a deep breath. “I was tired. Nothing more. We’d had a full social schedule of events to which Father was determined I would accompany him and Anne. And it was your fault I was out as late as I was the night before.”
His eyebrows arched and Winnie couldn’t help but smile at him. “You’re quite accomplished, yourself, Mr. Stillman. I haven’t played against many opponents as good as you are.”
“I thank you, my lady.”
“When I went to The Dove that night, I knew I wasn’t as alert as I should be. Hodgekens even refused to take me. But I insisted. I shouldn’t have gone.”
“Are you willing to admit that I was right, too? That you played like a novice?”
“Yes, Mr. Stillman. I will admit that I played like a novice that night. But that won’t happen again.”
Winnie knew the second she said the words they’d been a mistake. She wanted to take them back, but it was too late.
“Would you care to elaborate on that statement? It almost sounds as if you intend to return to The Dove, even though you promised that you wouldn’t.”
“I think you’re reading too much into what I said. I only meant that I’ve learned that my mind doesn’t focus as well as it needs to when I’m over tired.”
“How I wish that’s all you meant, my lady. Just as I wish you’d trust me enough to tell me why you have need of the money you win at The Dove. Although I believe I know.”
Winnie couldn’t hold his gaze. She turned her head to avoid his being able to see her thoughts. Because she believed that he could indeed read them.
He placed his finger to the side of her jaw and turned her head until she faced him. “You understand how dangerous The Dove is, don’t you Winnie? You know that the owners have no compassion for those who lose money at their tables.”
“I know,” she answered. She was surprised by the concern she heard in his voice. Almost as surprised as she was by his use of her Christian name.
His voice was also filled with warning. He held her by the upper arms and looked into her eyes, as if holding her while he lectured her was important to him. “And you’re aware of what happens to anyone who cannot cover her losses?”
Winnie couldn’t find her voice. The look in his eyes was so intense that she couldn’t do anything except nod her head.
Her gaze locked with his, then she focused on the fiery intensity in his eyes. She tried to take in his whole face, the features that made him so unique. But her eyes found his mouth and could move no further.
It was a perfect mouth, she’d noticed that the first time he’d smiled. When he clamped his lips tight in anger. When he lifted the corners and allowed the deep creases to form on either side of his mouth.
His hands tightened around her upper arms and he pulled her further into the darkened shadows of the terrace. She went willingly, as if she didn’t possess th
e strength to stay in the moonlight where anyone watching from the ballroom could clearly see them. Instead, she moved into the darkest corner of the terrace, knowing she’d go anywhere he led her.
He focused on her mouth for several agonizing moments, then he uttered a groaning curse and lowered his head.
His mouth met hers, his lips brushed against hers.
Winnie had never been kissed before. In this she was a true novice. But she didn’t feel like a novice. She didn’t feel inexperienced. She felt as if she were finally doing something she’d anticipated doing her whole life. Something for which the skills she needed were only lying dormant, waiting to come to life and be put to use.
His lips were soft, yet firm. Cool, yet burning hot. His kiss was gentle, yet demanding. Courteous, yet controlling. Everything she’d always expected in a kiss, yet so much more.
He lifted his lips and she moaned in protest, then wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his mouth back to hers. She couldn’t abide him stopping. Couldn’t let this be all. Couldn’t let this end.
He deepened his kisses, demanding more from her, although she didn’t know what more he might want. And then he showed her.
His mouth opened atop hers. His tongue skimmed the crease of her lips, pressing until she realized he was asking her to open to him.
And she did. She allowed him entrance and he came in search. His tongue found hers, it sparred with hers, it conquered hers. The sensations spiraling through her were fierce. They were violent. They were all-controlling.
A passion unlike anything she’d ever imagined possible consumed her, drove her to lengths she didn’t think could be reached. Pushed her past the brink of an abyss she didn’t think could be crossed. Urged her to demand more. And suddenly she realized there were no limits that would stop her if Nick Stillman were there with her. If he were encouraging her to travel with him.
As if he’d come to the same startling realization, he lifted his lips from hers and turned his head. He brought her up against him and gathered her to his body.
She pressed the side of her face against his chest. His pounding heart thundered beneath her ear. His arms trembled as they held her close to him. And his rapid breathing rushed into the nighttime air in stifled gulps.
Neither spoke for several moments, in part because Winnie could think of nothing to say. But more because she didn’t have enough control of her voice to speak. She knew the same was true for him.
Finally, he said, “My lady, I—”
But she stopped him with a lift of her trembling hand.
She didn’t want him to say anything. She didn’t want him to spoil this perfect time with words that would diminish what they’d just done. She didn’t want him to make excuses to explain what could not be explained.
When her legs were steady beneath her, she stepped away from him and walked back into the ballroom.
She didn’t want to think about what had just happened. She didn’t want to try to make sense of something that defied description.
Or undo a mistake that could never be rectified.
CHAPTER 7
Nick walked back into the ballroom with one purpose in mind: he needed to talk to Lady Amy and Miss Bickford, then he’d get the hell as far away from Society and Lady Winnifred Waverley as possible.
What had he just done?
What had come over him? Kissing her had been a monumental mistake. Kissing her had only proven what he never wanted to have confirmed—that he had feelings for her.
And she was the last person to which he wanted to form an attachment.
She was a member of Society. And not just any member, but her father was a bloody duke! After the way his mother and father had been treated by his grandfather and the rest of Society, Nick didn’t want a thing to do with any of them. They were nothing but bloody snobs. Elitists who didn’t accept anyone they considered beneath them.
Except she wasn’t a snob. She was far from one. She had enough compassion for her family that she did whatever was demanded of her to protect them. She’d taken it upon herself to keep the Townsend name spotless and free of scandal until her sister could seal a marriage with Lord Montroy. And she wasn’t selfish enough to go to her father to ask for money, even though she desperately needed it.
Nick thought of the risks she took every time she stepped through the doors of The Soiled Dove. He detested how she went about making the money she needed, no doubt to pay her mother’s upkeep. But he couldn’t help but admire her because she’d shouldered the responsibility of taking care of her mother without involving anyone else.
But that didn’t change what Lady Winnifred was doing. She was breaking the law. The duchess was a murderer, and her daughter was harboring her. Her mother should be locked away in a prison, and when he found her that’s exactly what he’d make sure happened to her. And Lady Winnifred would be lucky if she didn’t find herself in a cell next to her mother.
Nick stormed through the ballroom. Every reason he should avoid having anything to do with her slammed him in the gut.
There was the gambling. And the secrets she was keeping from him. And the fact that he couldn’t trust her. And that she was in over her head. And that if the owners of The Dove ever realized the lady counted cards, she’d be in more trouble than she could get herself out of.
And he’d kissed her.
Nick took long, angry steps as he made his way through the ballroom. He was so consumed by his anger and lost in his thoughts, that he almost missed Lady Amy and Miss Bickford standing by the refreshment table. Thankfully, he’d been introduced to them when they were with Lizzy, so there was nothing untoward about his approaching them.
“Good evening, Lady Amy. Miss Bickford,” he said when he reached them.
“Mr. Stillman,” they answered.
The look they shared between them indicated how uncomfortable they were talking to him. The unease on their faces was plain. But he didn’t have the patience to spend time calming them, or making them feel relaxed around him. He was desperate to find Lizzy. The longer his cousin was gone, the more likely that her absence would be noticed. The greater the possibility that her reputation would be ruined.
The longer he remained here, the greater his chances were that he’d run into Lady Winnifred again. He didn’t need another reminder of what a fool he’d been.
“I’d like to speak with you about my cousin, Lady Elizabeth.”
As usual, Lady Amy was the spokesperson. “I’m afraid we haven’t seen her. She isn’t here.”
Nick smiled his most charming. “I know she isn’t here. I simply want to know where she is.”
“I don’t know why you’re asking us—” Lady Amy started to say, but Nick cut her off.
“I’m asking you because you know where my cousin is and you can either talk to me now, or I can ask to speak to your parents and we’ll have this discussion with them.”
Nick nodded toward where Lady Amy’s father, the Marquess of Rushling stood, then turned a glance toward the other side of the room where Baron Bickford stood. “I’m sure they’ll be very interested to know that their daughters are regular patrons of the questionable establishment, The Soiled Dove.”
Nick watched Lizzy’s friends’ eyes grow wide with terror. “You might want to spend a few moments thinking up excuses to offer your fathers as to how you acquire the amounts of money you lose.”
“No, you can’t,” Miss Bickford cried. “My father would send me to the country and I’d never see London again.”
“You should have thought of that before the two of you―as well as my cousin―got in the habit of frequenting The Soiled Dove.”
“Shh,” Lady Amy said, looking to make sure no one had overheard him. “Someone will hear you.”
“Yes, they might,” Nick said a little louder.
“But we can’t tell you anything,” Miss Bickford said in a loud whisper. “We promised.”
“Paula!” Lady Amy said through clenched teeth.
Lady Amy turned to look at him. This time what Nick saw were two very young, very immature, very frightened young ladies.
“We promised, Mr. Stillman. We promised Elizabeth on our lives that we wouldn’t tell.”
Nick breathed a deep breath. “Then I will make sure you do not break your word to Elizabeth.”
“How?” they both asked.
“We will play a game. I will ask a question and you will answer only if I am incorrect.”
“I don’t understand,” said Miss Bickford.
“I’ll explain. Here’s my first question. Is Lizzy within walking distance from here? If the answer is yes, you won’t answer. If the answer is no you can answer. That way you will only tell me where she isn’t. Not where she is.”
“Oh,” said Lady Amy. “That way we aren’t telling you where she is.”
“That’s correct. So, I will repeat my first question. Is my cousin within walking distance from this residence?”
The two ladies looked at each other, then answered, “No”.
“Is she within walking distance from either of your residences?”
They didn’t answer. The answer was yes.
“Is she within walking distance from your residence, Miss Bickford?”
“No.”
That meant she was within walking distance from Lord Rushling’s townhouse. “Is she within three blocks of your residence, Lady Amy?”
Silence.
“Is she within one block of your residence, Lady Amy?”
Silence.
“Is Lizzy inside your residence, my lady?”
Silence.
“Above the ground level?”
Silence.
“Above the third level?”
Silence.
The attic. Nick’s heart thundered inside his chest. He bowed. “Thank you. You’ve made Lizzy’s parents very happy.”
“I hope so,” Lady Amy said. “She’s terribly unhappy. And frightened.”