by Laura Landon
Nick nodded, then rushed from the room.
Nick couldn’t get to the Marquess of Rushling’s townhouse fast enough. When he arrived, he pounded on the door. The minute it opened, he rushed up the stairs.
The butler and two footman gave chase, but even three pursuers couldn’t stop him. Not now that he’d found his cousin.
Once he reached the attic, it wasn’t difficult to spot Lizzy. She was lying on a make-shift cot, sobbing into the pillow she hugged to her.
“Lizzy?” he said, stepping into a small room lit only by one candle.
Nick wasn’t sure who was more surprised. Lizzy, or the butler and footmen giving chase.
“It’s Lady Elizabeth,” the butler cried out. Of course he knew who she was, he just didn’t know that she’d been a resident of the attic for the day.
“Please, leave us,” Nick ordered, and the three men left. When they were gone, Nick walked across the room.
Lizzy was backed on the far side of the narrow cot with her back pressed against the wall, and her arms hugging the pillow she held against her. “Leave me be, Nick,” she said through a river of tears. “I can’t go home. I can’t face Mother and Father again.”
Nick sat on the edge of the cot, but he didn’t reach for Lizzy. “Do you know how worried they are, Lizzy?”
“They don’t know what I’ve done.”
The sobs were loud, the anguish in her voice gut-wrenching. It tore Nick’s heart from his chest. “Do you think anything you’ve done can make them stop loving you?”
“But you don’t know,” she said, shaking her head.
“I do. I know all about The Soiled Dove. I may not know it all, but I know enough to know you are in trouble and need my help.”
“Oh, Nick,” she cried, and threw herself into his arms.
Nick wrapped his arms around his cousin and held her close. Her sobs came in huge agonizing gulps, but he let her cry. She’d endured more than anyone her age should have to go through. “Tell me everything, Lizzy. I need to know it all.”
His innocent cousin nodded her head then separated herself from him. She took the handkerchief he handed her and wiped her cheeks. “I owe them money, Nick. A lot of money. And I don’t have it.”
“Then we’ll have to get it.”
She looked up at him. “Will you give it to me?”
Nick could give Lizzy the money, and they could go to The Dove and pay what she owed. No one would be the wiser, especially his aunt and uncle, Lord and Lady Rummery. But that wouldn’t be what was best for Lizzy.
Nick shook his head. “No, you’ll have to ask your father for the money.”
“I can’t,” she cried. “They’ll know what I’ve done. They’ll know everything!”
“Yes, they’ll know everything. And you’ll be punished. Because what you did could have ended much worse. You could have been ruined. You could have been forced to sell your body to a lecherous old man who would have used you for his own pleasure, then tossed you aside. You could have been so scarred because of what happened to you, that you couldn’t live with what you’d done, as Jenny was unable to live with herself. Did you learn nothing from what happened to your friend?”
“Oh, Nick,” Lizzy cried, and buried her face against his chest.
Nick knew he’d been unreasonably cruel, knew his words had been harsh and unforgiving. But he’d intended them to be. He didn’t want to minimize what Lizzy had done. He wanted to be certain she never returned to The Dove. Never took the risks she’d taken ever again.
“Let me take you home, Lizzy. Your parents are waiting for you.”
When Lizzy nodded, Nick helped his cousin to her feet. He wrapped a cloak that was hanging on a hook on the wall around her shoulders, and he led her from the Marquess of Rushling’s attic.
Nick would take Lizzy home and get the money she needed to pay her gambling debts. Once she was free from the hold The Soiled Dove had over her, he’d return her to her parents and let them care for her.
He’d done as much as he could for them right now. But he hadn’t begun to do what had to be done to wipe out the filth and corruption that existed under the guise of an elite gaming hell. He hadn’t begun to bring an end to whatever illegal venture The Dove was being used to hide.
And he wouldn’t give up until he’d destroyed everyone involved in that hellhole.
CHAPTER 8
Winnie sat in the large receiving room at Townsend House and tried to pay attention to the conversation going on around her. The Earl of Montroy had come to call on her sister, Anne. Having him call wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. He was a frequent guest, and Winnie knew that before the Season ended, her father would announce his youngest daughter’s betrothal.
The match would be perfect. And it couldn’t happen soon enough.
Then…
Winnie tried to think what would happen then, but she couldn’t think of anything except the kiss she and Nick Stillman had shared three nights ago. She’d tried to forget it, but that was like trying to forget that the sun would come up in the morning, or the moon would shine at night.
She tried to think of a reason as to why he might have kissed her, but she couldn’t come up with one excuse that she could believe except that he’d had a momentary lapse of sanity. Or that anger had driven him to do something so reckless. Except nothing hinted that anger had anything to do with the way his mouth had possessed hers.
Then, she tried to convince herself that he’d meant nothing by kissing her. But the words that came to mind when she remembered the emotions that surged through her weren’t words that indicated no feelings had been involved. They said much more.
Words like desperation. Or hunger. Or intimacy came to mind. Even passionate, searing, and intense. But not anger.
Except, when the kiss ended, he’d pulled away from her as if touching her burned him, repulsed him. As if he regretted what he’d done. As if what he’d experienced kissing her wasn’t anywhere near what she’d felt.
Her cheeks burned. She wanted to say she regretted their kiss, but she didn’t. It was an experience she’d remember her whole life. If she had the memory of only one kiss to cherish for the rest if her life, she wanted this special kiss to be it. She’d want Nick Stillman to be the man who’d given her that experience.
She lifted her fingers to her lips and touched them as if she could still recall the feel of his mouth against hers. As if she could still feel the pressure of his—
“Winnie,” Anne said in a loud voice.
“I’m sorry, Anne,” Winnie said, realizing Anne had probably called out to her several times. “I was woolgathering.”
“You were more than woolgathering. You’ve been staring out the window forever, yet I’ll wager you haven’t noticed that it’s stopped raining and now the sun is shining.”
“It is?” Winnie said, glancing back out the window. The sun was indeed shining and it had turned into a beautiful day.
“Yes, it is. And Lord Montroy has offered to accompany us on a walk. Please say you’ll go with us so we don’t have to ask Ruby or Tilly.”
Winnie wanted to decline, but the pleading expression on Anne’s face made refusing impossible. Besides, getting out might be exactly what she needed. Clearing her head of Nick Stillman and the kiss they’d shared was something she had to do.
“Of course, I’ll accompany you. The rain has kept us indoors for three days. It’s time we took some air.”
“Oh, thank you, Winnie,” Anne said, rising to her feet. “We’ll get our wraps and meet you in the foyer,” she said to Lord Montroy, then she and Winnie left to get their cloaks.
They returned a few minutes later and the three of them left Townsend House and headed for Hyde Park, which was only a few blocks away.
Winnie let Anne and Lord Montroy lead the way and she followed a discreet distance behind. Her role was as chaperone, not as a conversational companion. She was hardly needed for that. Anne and her beau were capable of carrying on a
conversation without any help from her. This gave her time to consider what, if anything, Nick Stillman meant to her.
Of course he meant nothing, she told herself. She couldn’t allow him to. And the kiss they’d shared meant nothing. If not for the fact that it was her first kiss, she probably wouldn’t give it another thought. Just as Nick Stillman hadn’t. No doubt he’d kissed so many females in his life, this kiss was insignificant compared to the ones before this kiss. And the ones that would come after. She for sure wasn’t the most skilled female he’d ever kissed. That was probably why he’d turned from her as abruptly as he had. He’d been repulsed by her inexperience.
Now that she thought on it, she realized she’d probably over-exaggerated everything about the kiss. Her heart had no doubt pounded in her chest because she’d never been kissed before and being kissed was a new experience. Her body no doubt reacted to Nick Stillman only because he’d been the first man who’d ever kissed her. Now that she’d experienced her first kiss, she doubted she’d react at all the next time she saw him. Of course not. Why ever would she?
Except when she looked ahead of her to make certain Anne and Lord Montroy were within sight, the person she saw approaching them was the person who’d haunted her every thought, day and night, since the last time she’d seen him.
Her heart thundered in her breast, then pounded at the base of her throat. Her flesh prickled. The blood roared in her head, and her lips, the lips he’d kissed last night, tingled. She didn’t want to have such a violent reaction to him, but she did.
“Lady Anne. Lord Montroy,” he said, greeting her sister and Lord Montroy.
They waited for Winnie to catch up to them. When she reached them, they opened their circle to include her. He let his gaze rest on her and her flesh felt as if it was on fire.
“Lady Winnifred.”
“Mr. Stillman,” she answered, although she was surprised that she’d found her voice.
“We were just out for a stroll,” Anne said. “The weather finally cleared and it turned into a perfect day.”
“Yes, it did.”
“Would you like to join us? Winnie volunteered to accompany us, but I fear Lord Montroy and I have been remiss in including her in our conversation. You would be doing us a great favor if you would join us.”
“The pleasure would be mine,” Nick Stillman said, nodding his head.
Anne and Lord Montroy continued their walk, and their conversation, and Winnie was left with no choice but to turn her attention to Nick Stillman. He stood beside her with his arm extended.
He expected her to place her hand on his arm.
Winnie didn’t want to do it. What if the currents that raced up her flesh when she touched him were still there? What if, now that she’d kissed him, her reaction to him hadn’t lessened as she assumed it would? What if her response to him was even more disturbing? What if her flesh tingled like it had before, and he affected her as intensely?
“Would you like to follow your sister, or should we remain here?” he asked when she had yet to place her hand on his arm.
“No, we’ll follow,” she said, then risked placing her fingers on his arm.
Fireworks exploded inside her breast. The day turned unseasonably warm and she wanted to remove her cloak, but she knew the weather hadn’t changed. The man at her side was responsible for the heat that consumed her. She tried to pretend it wasn’t so, but it was.
Winnie lifted her gaze and found him looking down at her. Their gazes locked, and for several long seconds, they studied each other as if they were both new species the other had never seen before.
There was a slight frown on Nick Stillman’s forehead, and Winnie knew there was one on her own that probably matched his. There was confusion written on his face, and she was experiencing that same uncertainty. A darkness clouded his ebony eyes that she didn’t understand. And from the way he stared at her, she thought perhaps he saw something he didn’t understand when he looked at her.
“Are you two coming?” Anne said from ahead of them.
“Yes, Anne. We’re coming,” Winnie answered, then took her first step at Nick Stillman’s side.
They didn’t speak for several moments. Walking at his side was both exciting, and disturbing. A part of her felt as if she belonged at his side, while another part of her felt that being with him was like the proverbial fox that rode across the river on the alligator’s back. If she remembered the tale correctly, the fox never made it to the other side.
She would do well to remember that Nick Stillman was as dangerous to her as that alligator was to the fox.
“Are you all right, my lady?” he finally said.
Winnie had wondered which one of them would break the silence. “Yes, I’m perfectly fine. I was just enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful weather.”
He smiled. “Yes, the sun is indeed out. And the weather is indeed a safe topic to discuss. Should we continue to stay with only safe topics, or should we venture to more hazardous matters.”
Winnie breathed a sigh of resignation. “I suppose I could feign ignorance, and pretend I don’t know what you are referring to,” she said.
“You could,” he agreed. “But that is hardly your way of handling challenges, is it, my lady?”
Winnie lifted her gaze. He was smiling at her. Her heart shifted in her breast.
“You always face any problem head on, don’t you?” he added.
“I find that is usually the best way,” Winnie answered.
“So, the first matter we should face would be the kiss we shared the last time we were together.”
Every muscle in her body tightened. “As I’m sure you are more aware than I, what we shared wasn’t significant.”
He paused. “Why do you assume that I’m aware of something of which you’re not?”
Winnie’s face warmed. “Because you are much more experienced in such matters.”
A broad smile appeared on his face and he nodded in agreement. Then took a step to force her to continue walking.
“Of course,” he answered.
“I’m sure you are now aware of just how inexperienced I am.”
“You mean you’re sure I realized that was your first kiss?”
She lowered her gaze.
“What I realized, Winnie. May I call you Winnie? It seems that after what we shared, we should be on a first name basis. You may call me Nick.”
Winnie wanted to refuse his suggestion. Referring to each other by their first names was like another barrier torn down. A barricade that could keep them at arm’s length from each other. But being so formal was quite ridiculous.
“So, Winnie,” he said. “In reference to our kiss, the only detail I remember was my surprise, as well as my delight at how quickly you picked up the finer points of kissing.”
Her gaze shot to his. He was smiling at her. He was almost laughing at her.
“Having said that, however, I want to assure you that I assume total responsibility for what happened. You did nothing to encourage such an action on my part, and I want to assure you it will never happen again.”
A stabbing of regret shot through her. Except she didn’t know why. Wasn’t this exactly what she wanted to hear? That he would never kiss her again?
“Thank you, sir. I appreciate your saying as much.”
“I thought you would.”
His strides lengthened, and Winnie realized how they’d slowed. Anne and Lord Montroy were far ahead of them.
“There’s something else, however, I need to discuss with you.”
Winnie felt his muscles tighten beneath her fingers. Whatever this topic was, it wasn’t something he was eager to discuss with her.
“It concerns your trips to The Dove.”
Winnie looked to make sure Anne and Lord Montroy were far enough ahead of them that they couldn’t overhear anything she and Nick Stillman said.
“I haven’t been to The Dove since that last time,” she said. How dare he accuse her of goin
g when she hadn’t.
“I know you haven’t, Winnie. I’m not accusing you of going there.”
“Then what?”
“It occurred to me that there is a reason you go to The Dove. A reason other than simply to wager on a hand of cards. A reason you need the money.”
“You don’t believe I simply enjoy the game?”
“I believe you enjoy playing, but that’s not the reason you take the risks involved by going to an establishment with the reputation of The Soiled Dove.”
Winnie dropped her hand from Nick Stillman’s arm. “Of course, you presume to know me well enough to know the reason I go there.”
“You know I do. And you know what I believe that reason to be.”
“I—”
He held up his hand to stop her words. “I didn’t bring up the subject to accuse you of anything, or to argue with you.”
“Then what?”
“To tell you that I am here if you need anything. Anything at all.”
The air left Winnie’s lungs. She hugged her arms around her middle to keep the pain inside. To keep the loneliness from spilling out from deep inside her.
He couldn’t have said anything more perfect than that. There were times, especially over the last week or more when she’d wanted someone to lean on. When she’d wanted someone with whom she could share her troubles. Someone who would shoulder the burden of her mother, and the blackmailer. And the money she needed to pay the guards to make sure her mother didn’t escape the hospital.
There were times when the weight of everything she carried was too great. When she didn’t think she was strong enough to carry such a burden. But she knew what Nick Stillman would do if he discovered her mother was still alive, and where she was.
Winnie looked ahead to where Anne was smiling up at the Earl of Montroy. And he was smiling down on her.
No, this wasn’t a burden she could share with anyone, especially one of Mack Wallace’s Bedford Street Brigadesmen.
Winnie swallowed past the lump in her throat, then forced a smile to her face. “Thank you for your concern, Mr. Stillman, but I don’t need your help. I can’t imagine why you think I would. I went to The Dove because I enjoyed a game of chance. But you showed me the error of my ways. And I’m eternally grateful to you.” She broadened her smile, then turned her gaze to where Anne and Lord Montroy were widening the gap between them.